The next few weeks were pretty much the same for Nat. She was never late home again after that first day but Lionel still found ways to punish her. From not cooking the right foods to not wearing the right color green.

She kept trying to get Conner to talk to her and he kept blowing her off and insulting her, hurting her. The only thing that she clung to in the darkness that cloaked her was that eventually Conner would talk to her.

"Are you listening Natalia?" Dr. O asked placing a hand on her shoulder.

She jumped when the hand connected with her shoulder," Yes Dr. Oliver. I'm listening. Sorry if I was daydreaming."

"Its ok just try to look more awake."

'If only I could Dr. Oliver.' She thought as she started doodling on her notes page.

When the bell rang for the end of the day, Nat jumped and sent her papers and notebooks flying. She scrambled to pick them up.

As she dashed through the classroom door one of her notebooks was kicked into a corner forgotten. When she reached her locker she moved as fast as she could shoving stuff into her bag.

"Nat," Conner said locking his fingers around her wrist so her movements stopped.

She turned toward him, "Yes Conner?"

He waited a couple of heartbeats to see how she reacted to being touched and then continued, "I'm ready to listen. As much as I don't want to know, thats how much I have to know. Why don't I take you down to Hayley's Cyberspace and you can tell me."

"I can't," she replied softly, "I have to get home before... Tomorrow morning on the soccer field. Meet me there and I'll tell you."

"Ok if thats what you want. I'll see you in the morning." He turned and walked away.

Nat sighed and shuddered, nothing would feel better than to tell him the next day. Nothing.

=====================================================================

"Conner," Tommy said, "I just found a notebook in my classroom and I think you might want to take a look at it."

"What is it Dr. O?" Conner asked stepping into the classroom.

"Well Natalia dropped it. I think. I picked it up after she left. Before giving it back to her I thought maybe you'd like to read it."

"Why would I..," He trailed off when the notebook was pressed into his hand. The cover read Letters, "Yeah I would. Thanks Dr. O."

He walked to the soccer field and sat down and for a few minutes he just stared at it before opening it to a letter and reading:

Dear Conner,

Lord how I miss you. Mom and Dad are still fighting over who gets custody. I wish I could tell you about it. It seriously hurts that you aren't here and that I never told you good-bye.

I've picked up the phone a dozen or more times but each time I get caught and punished for it. Mom grounds me to my room with nothing but water all day. Dad just grounds me from TV and phone.

Having you as my best friend was the best thing in my life. I hate knowing that I hurt you. I hate knowing the fact that I love you and can't tell you. I have everything about my pathetic life. Then only thing I don't regret is knowing and loving you Conner. One day I hope you can forgive me.

Love Always,

Nat

Teardrops had smeared the words and he knew they weren't his, he simply whispered, "What the hell do I do now?"

He sat there and stared at the notebooks and never even noticed his own tears falling.

=====================================================================

The next morning Nat made sure she was as the soccer field early. She didn't care if Lionel beat her after he found out. Hell he already had when he found out about her talking to Conner. The names he called her as his fist repeatedly hit her and then later his foot.

As she paced she thought about what she sould tell Conner about the bruises that she couldn't cover up with make-up but she knew no matter what he'd probably see right through it.

She swore outloud and whirled around when Conner said, "Quite the mouth you have on you."

"I inheirted it from my mother. Remember?" She retorted.

"Why the soccer field?" He asked quietly.

"Right down to business as usual. You aren't the stupid jock you let everyone believe. The soccer field because its a balancing ground for both of us. We spent six years here or in a studio. Would you of rathered we met there?"

"No. Why did you leave?" Conner asked even though he knew all the answers. He had stayed up the night before reading the entire notebook twice.

Tears filled her eyes, "The divorce. The custody battle. They dragged it on forever. Dad fought so hard to keep me, even though he was a self-involved bastard, he wanted to keep me here for some odd reason. When Mom won it was because she planted evidence that he did drugs, so he lost. Mom got sole custody. The day before we moved from LA after we had moved from here six months earlier, Dad got into an accident and Mom didn't care. We moved as planned and I never went to the funeral Mom married a guy named Lionel Richardson six months ago and now after three years here I am."

He watched her nervously play with the gold locket, "Why did you keep the locket?"

She smiled bitterly, "Are you kidding? This is what helped me hold on to my sanity through everything."

"Where did the bruises come from Nat?"

"I fell down. Ran into a door and fell off my bike," She prayed he would believe it.

He looked at her skeptically, "Right. I gotta ask my history teacher a question on her homework. Here."

She took the notebook, "You read it didn't you?"

"Yeah. I know just about everything including the fact you quit writing in it about six months ago."

He turned to walk away and she rushed forward laying a hand on his forearm, "Conner I don't want to forget that the past three years haven't happened. I knew you would be mad at me, pissed is probably more the word, and I didn't expect for us to be like we used to. I do want to try and work toward a friendship again."

"We'll see Nat. We'll see." He walked away and into the school. He knew she had been lying about the bruises but she'd tell someone eventually and they would help her.