Chapter 8
~
Despite what you may be thinking, I am not as crazy as I claim. If I am bored for extended periods of time, yes, I will hum or even sing the occasional Beatles or Matchbox 20. Or something even more disturbing. I have been known to avoid talking in its entirety for, at times, period of hours or even days. I am prone to fits of nervousness, and depression, and insomnia, and I can become a raging maniac for no apparent reason.
Other than that, I'm almost normal.
~
As we climb the stairs, Legolas falls back beside me, and says, very quietly, "You're humming."
Dammit. I really need to work on that. "Sorry."
He smiles at me. I resist the urge to swoon. Why, oh WHY, aren't there guys this good-looking in my world? I'd pay money! Real money!
Except, y'know, prostitution? Illegal.
"Why is it you watch us?"
I look back at him. Honestly, this is the longest conversation I've ever had with him. "Huh? What do you mean?"
"You watch us. You watch all of us. I was merely wondering why." He stares at me, straight at me, like he can look into my soul, which is actually a highly uncomfortable sensation.
I shrug uncomfortably, shifting my cloak over my shoulders. "I don't know that I did. I don't watch everybody. Just...some."
"Like me?" he asks, and sounds amused. I blush. "I heard the compliment you paid me."
I shrug, again. "Well, y'know, you Elves..."
He laughs softly. "Aye, that is true."
I make a face at him. "Oh, no ego in YOUR family."
Legolas laughs again. "Oh, there is plenty of ego in my family! I am assured that you heard tales of my father from Elladan and Elrohir whilst we were in Imladris."
I smirk and nod. "Oh, yeah. A couple from Bilbo and Glorfindel, as well." I glance at him. "And why is it you feel the need to bring up the fact that I think you're beautiful? I'm sure it's not the first time you've heard it, and you don't seem like the kind who needs your ego stroked. As for that, there are others among our company who would do that."
Legolas actually winces. It's beautiful! He doesn't like her!
"Ah, yes," he says, disdain practically dripping from his voice. "'Twas a curiosity, my lady, nothing more." He looks at me, and grins, a twinkle in his eye that forcibly reminds me of Elladan. Oh, crap. "Besides, you are most charming when you blush." And he moves past me, up to walk next to Aragorn.
My face feels like it's on fire. Hate Elves so much.
~
"Behold," Gandalf says loudly, calling more light to his staff, "the Realm of the great Dwarven city of Dwarrowdelf."
Ho-ly shit. It's beautiful. Gorgeous. An architectural marvel. Goddamn you, Tolkien, stop awing me already!
"That's an eye opener, and no mistake," Sam says softly, obviously completely awed.
Right there with ya, Samwise. It's so beautiful, and...and...yeah. I don't have any words for it, for what may actually be the first time in my life.
Too bad things're gonna really suck later, huh?
We cross across the whooole big thing, and Legolas sends me an amused glance over his shoulder. I stop singing. What is it with me and the Beatles today?
Gimli suddenly lets out an anguished cry, and Gandalf calls after him. "Gimli! No!"
We race in after him, and he's sobbing over the tomb of his cousin. Poor, poor Gimli. Would it be wrong to want to give him a hug?
Yes, very wrong. Dwarves probably don't appreciate hugs.
Gandalf takes the book from the dead Dwarf. I tune Gandalf out and simply look around the room, taking in the gorgeous architecture, the various dead people, and the rest of the Fellowship. A large bang distracts me from this, followed by another loud bang. Oh, crap. Pippin.
The poor Hobbit was staring at the floor, fidgeting nervously, sending Gandalf fearful glances. Gandalf stalks over to him and grabs away his hat and staff. "Throw yourself in next time, Peregrin Took, & rid us of your stupidity!"
Pippin ducks his head. I walk over to him and wrap an arm around his shoulder. He gives me a grateful look.
Then the drums start. Legolas immediately whips out his bow. As does Leilanni. Oh, god, she's gonna wow us with her archery. Something inside me whimpers. Aragorn and Boromir run for the door. Boromir pokes his head out, and a bunch of arrows almost take it off.
He pulls his head back in. "They have a cave troll," he tells us, like he's reporting the weather.
Me, on the other hand...Let's just say it ain't pretty. Panic rarely is.
I watch as Legolas tosses Boromir and Aragorn weapons, and they start to barricade the door. Mitanna draws her sword and pulls around to one edge of the room. It's sort of a flanking maneuver. Hah! I remember some of the technical terminology! Remind me to thank James...
If I live through this. Which is really, really looking to not be a possibility.
Aragorn pushes the Hobbits back to stand behind Gandalf. Boromir grabs my arm and pushes me back with them. "Guard the Hobbits, Kayli."
I nod, and shepherd them back behind Gandalf, then stand ready with my...stick.
No, I am NOT planning to use the knives. I'm saving them as a surprise, like Elrohir said. Preferably at Amon Hen.
Am I planning on saving Boromir? I don't know yet. Give me a second.
Or...A few more seconds. The Orcs are starting to break through the door. Aragorn, Legolas, & Leilanni open fire. Behind me, the Hobbits draw their short swords. I grip my staff tighter. The doors break open. My heart starts to pound. Before I know what's happening, the battle is joined.
~
There's a certain rhythm to a battle. Whatever weapon you use – knives, swords, bows, staves, whatever – you have to find the rhythm. If you don't find it, you can't fight, and you're dead.
Bless you, Eru, or whichever Vala is responsible for the fact that I have found the rhythm in my staff. Bless you.
I spin away from the sword of one and hit another over the head with my staff. It turns, snarling, and I smack it in the face. Once, twice, and it goes down. Pippin's behind me. He runs the one I ducked through. The blade passes through it's thigh, and it screams. I crack it upside the head and it goes down like a bag of rocks. Pippin stabs it in the heart, then ducks over and finishes off the other one.
Staves aren't usually lethal. But Pippin's little sword is. We make a good combination.
Pippin and I get separated, and he runs over to Merry. I poke another orc in the stomach, and it doubles over, then I crash my staff over his head.
Suddenly, a hand grabs my arm and whips me into a pillar. I spin around, expecting an orc, but I'm really not surprised when my staff makes solid contact with Leilanni's arm and she drops her sword.
"Ow!" she cries, clutching her wounded arm. "Bitch!"
What, does she just expect me to lay down and die? Not fucking likely! I swing the staff around again, clocking her upside the head, then duck away and run.
The cave troll comes rushing in. I duck behind the pillar behind Legolas, and I hear him say something very obscene I heard from Elladan once, after Elrohir had knocked him on his ass in the dust. And no, I am not going to tell you what he said. Let's just say it's the kind of language that would make an orc blush. The mouth on that boy.
He glances back at me when he hears me giggle. "A problem, my Lady?" He shoots an arrow through another orc, hands moving faster than I could see.
I giggle again. Yes, giggle. The battle has gone to my head. "You should be ashamed of yourself! I expect that kind of language from Elladan!"
Legolas just grins at me, and I run to go check on the Hobbits.
Sam's doing well, bashing orcs left and right with his frying pan. "I think I'm gettin' the hang of this!" he calls, and smacks another one. Pippin and Merry are doing just fine. I wince as Boromir is thrown into the wall. Aragorn crashes a few minutes later.
And then the spear hit Frodo. There's a moment of still ness, and then rage. Merry and Pippin leap onto his back, stabbing frantically. The troll throws its head back, manages to peel Merry off, and then Legolas shoots it in the throat. It dies.
"Finally," I mutter. I look around. Mitanna is helping Leilanni to her feet, shooting glares across the room at me. I shoot her a cheeky smile.
"I can't believe she hit me," Leilanni whines. Behind me, Boromir mutters something about 'decapitation' and 'trophy' and 'rather sleep with a Warg.' He sends Legolas a sympathetic look, which the Elf simply shrugs off.
Everyone else hurries to Frodo's side. I hear Aragorn go on about how the spear would've skewered a wild boar. Well, here come two wild bores now. Shall we try it?
"I believe there is more to this Hobbit than meets the eye," Leilanni says mysteriously, trying to smile despite the face that she's clutching her head.
Legolas takes her arm, all tender solicitation, and she shoots me a triumphant look. "That looks to be a nasty wound, my lady. Are you sure you are well?"
She stands up straight and nods proudly, then winces at the gesture. "I will be fine." She smiles stunningly at him. "I am quite strong."
Sam mutters something that sounds suspiciously like "Most Men are."
Legolas looks amused.
Oh, listen to that. More drums. More running. Yay.
"To the Bridge of Khazad-Dum!" Gandalf cries dramatically.
And we're off!
TBC...
~
Despite what you may be thinking, I am not as crazy as I claim. If I am bored for extended periods of time, yes, I will hum or even sing the occasional Beatles or Matchbox 20. Or something even more disturbing. I have been known to avoid talking in its entirety for, at times, period of hours or even days. I am prone to fits of nervousness, and depression, and insomnia, and I can become a raging maniac for no apparent reason.
Other than that, I'm almost normal.
~
As we climb the stairs, Legolas falls back beside me, and says, very quietly, "You're humming."
Dammit. I really need to work on that. "Sorry."
He smiles at me. I resist the urge to swoon. Why, oh WHY, aren't there guys this good-looking in my world? I'd pay money! Real money!
Except, y'know, prostitution? Illegal.
"Why is it you watch us?"
I look back at him. Honestly, this is the longest conversation I've ever had with him. "Huh? What do you mean?"
"You watch us. You watch all of us. I was merely wondering why." He stares at me, straight at me, like he can look into my soul, which is actually a highly uncomfortable sensation.
I shrug uncomfortably, shifting my cloak over my shoulders. "I don't know that I did. I don't watch everybody. Just...some."
"Like me?" he asks, and sounds amused. I blush. "I heard the compliment you paid me."
I shrug, again. "Well, y'know, you Elves..."
He laughs softly. "Aye, that is true."
I make a face at him. "Oh, no ego in YOUR family."
Legolas laughs again. "Oh, there is plenty of ego in my family! I am assured that you heard tales of my father from Elladan and Elrohir whilst we were in Imladris."
I smirk and nod. "Oh, yeah. A couple from Bilbo and Glorfindel, as well." I glance at him. "And why is it you feel the need to bring up the fact that I think you're beautiful? I'm sure it's not the first time you've heard it, and you don't seem like the kind who needs your ego stroked. As for that, there are others among our company who would do that."
Legolas actually winces. It's beautiful! He doesn't like her!
"Ah, yes," he says, disdain practically dripping from his voice. "'Twas a curiosity, my lady, nothing more." He looks at me, and grins, a twinkle in his eye that forcibly reminds me of Elladan. Oh, crap. "Besides, you are most charming when you blush." And he moves past me, up to walk next to Aragorn.
My face feels like it's on fire. Hate Elves so much.
~
"Behold," Gandalf says loudly, calling more light to his staff, "the Realm of the great Dwarven city of Dwarrowdelf."
Ho-ly shit. It's beautiful. Gorgeous. An architectural marvel. Goddamn you, Tolkien, stop awing me already!
"That's an eye opener, and no mistake," Sam says softly, obviously completely awed.
Right there with ya, Samwise. It's so beautiful, and...and...yeah. I don't have any words for it, for what may actually be the first time in my life.
Too bad things're gonna really suck later, huh?
We cross across the whooole big thing, and Legolas sends me an amused glance over his shoulder. I stop singing. What is it with me and the Beatles today?
Gimli suddenly lets out an anguished cry, and Gandalf calls after him. "Gimli! No!"
We race in after him, and he's sobbing over the tomb of his cousin. Poor, poor Gimli. Would it be wrong to want to give him a hug?
Yes, very wrong. Dwarves probably don't appreciate hugs.
Gandalf takes the book from the dead Dwarf. I tune Gandalf out and simply look around the room, taking in the gorgeous architecture, the various dead people, and the rest of the Fellowship. A large bang distracts me from this, followed by another loud bang. Oh, crap. Pippin.
The poor Hobbit was staring at the floor, fidgeting nervously, sending Gandalf fearful glances. Gandalf stalks over to him and grabs away his hat and staff. "Throw yourself in next time, Peregrin Took, & rid us of your stupidity!"
Pippin ducks his head. I walk over to him and wrap an arm around his shoulder. He gives me a grateful look.
Then the drums start. Legolas immediately whips out his bow. As does Leilanni. Oh, god, she's gonna wow us with her archery. Something inside me whimpers. Aragorn and Boromir run for the door. Boromir pokes his head out, and a bunch of arrows almost take it off.
He pulls his head back in. "They have a cave troll," he tells us, like he's reporting the weather.
Me, on the other hand...Let's just say it ain't pretty. Panic rarely is.
I watch as Legolas tosses Boromir and Aragorn weapons, and they start to barricade the door. Mitanna draws her sword and pulls around to one edge of the room. It's sort of a flanking maneuver. Hah! I remember some of the technical terminology! Remind me to thank James...
If I live through this. Which is really, really looking to not be a possibility.
Aragorn pushes the Hobbits back to stand behind Gandalf. Boromir grabs my arm and pushes me back with them. "Guard the Hobbits, Kayli."
I nod, and shepherd them back behind Gandalf, then stand ready with my...stick.
No, I am NOT planning to use the knives. I'm saving them as a surprise, like Elrohir said. Preferably at Amon Hen.
Am I planning on saving Boromir? I don't know yet. Give me a second.
Or...A few more seconds. The Orcs are starting to break through the door. Aragorn, Legolas, & Leilanni open fire. Behind me, the Hobbits draw their short swords. I grip my staff tighter. The doors break open. My heart starts to pound. Before I know what's happening, the battle is joined.
~
There's a certain rhythm to a battle. Whatever weapon you use – knives, swords, bows, staves, whatever – you have to find the rhythm. If you don't find it, you can't fight, and you're dead.
Bless you, Eru, or whichever Vala is responsible for the fact that I have found the rhythm in my staff. Bless you.
I spin away from the sword of one and hit another over the head with my staff. It turns, snarling, and I smack it in the face. Once, twice, and it goes down. Pippin's behind me. He runs the one I ducked through. The blade passes through it's thigh, and it screams. I crack it upside the head and it goes down like a bag of rocks. Pippin stabs it in the heart, then ducks over and finishes off the other one.
Staves aren't usually lethal. But Pippin's little sword is. We make a good combination.
Pippin and I get separated, and he runs over to Merry. I poke another orc in the stomach, and it doubles over, then I crash my staff over his head.
Suddenly, a hand grabs my arm and whips me into a pillar. I spin around, expecting an orc, but I'm really not surprised when my staff makes solid contact with Leilanni's arm and she drops her sword.
"Ow!" she cries, clutching her wounded arm. "Bitch!"
What, does she just expect me to lay down and die? Not fucking likely! I swing the staff around again, clocking her upside the head, then duck away and run.
The cave troll comes rushing in. I duck behind the pillar behind Legolas, and I hear him say something very obscene I heard from Elladan once, after Elrohir had knocked him on his ass in the dust. And no, I am not going to tell you what he said. Let's just say it's the kind of language that would make an orc blush. The mouth on that boy.
He glances back at me when he hears me giggle. "A problem, my Lady?" He shoots an arrow through another orc, hands moving faster than I could see.
I giggle again. Yes, giggle. The battle has gone to my head. "You should be ashamed of yourself! I expect that kind of language from Elladan!"
Legolas just grins at me, and I run to go check on the Hobbits.
Sam's doing well, bashing orcs left and right with his frying pan. "I think I'm gettin' the hang of this!" he calls, and smacks another one. Pippin and Merry are doing just fine. I wince as Boromir is thrown into the wall. Aragorn crashes a few minutes later.
And then the spear hit Frodo. There's a moment of still ness, and then rage. Merry and Pippin leap onto his back, stabbing frantically. The troll throws its head back, manages to peel Merry off, and then Legolas shoots it in the throat. It dies.
"Finally," I mutter. I look around. Mitanna is helping Leilanni to her feet, shooting glares across the room at me. I shoot her a cheeky smile.
"I can't believe she hit me," Leilanni whines. Behind me, Boromir mutters something about 'decapitation' and 'trophy' and 'rather sleep with a Warg.' He sends Legolas a sympathetic look, which the Elf simply shrugs off.
Everyone else hurries to Frodo's side. I hear Aragorn go on about how the spear would've skewered a wild boar. Well, here come two wild bores now. Shall we try it?
"I believe there is more to this Hobbit than meets the eye," Leilanni says mysteriously, trying to smile despite the face that she's clutching her head.
Legolas takes her arm, all tender solicitation, and she shoots me a triumphant look. "That looks to be a nasty wound, my lady. Are you sure you are well?"
She stands up straight and nods proudly, then winces at the gesture. "I will be fine." She smiles stunningly at him. "I am quite strong."
Sam mutters something that sounds suspiciously like "Most Men are."
Legolas looks amused.
Oh, listen to that. More drums. More running. Yay.
"To the Bridge of Khazad-Dum!" Gandalf cries dramatically.
And we're off!
TBC...