Chapter Ten: Edmund the Just and Lady Doris the… Lady.

"Fish, fish, fresh fish, frozen crabs and live lobst-"

"-hot coffee, warm tea, cold drinks, bubbling beer-"

"-and listen to our beautiful young men serenade you with songs of wonder and beauty-"

Donkey listened, bewildered by all of the screaming voices around him crying out their wares.

They were now at the edge of the City surrounding Cair Paravel. After entering the mouth of the Great River, they'd put into port, and Puss, Donkey, Jack and Tink had left the ship to seek out supplies, leaving the crew of the Black Pearl to repair their ship.

"Chicken-and-cream pastries, warm bread and salty-"

"-paintings of the sea, of the sky, of your beautiful face, come on pretty lady, just one-"

"Who you callin' a lady?" A half-familiar deep voice interrupted one tradesman, prompting Donkey to turn around to see just what the man had called a lady. The sight that met his eyes surprised him. Doris of all people was addressing the errant painter, Prince Charming hanging off one deep navy silk-clad arm. Donkey's jaw dropped, and he couldn't even poke Puss to make him watch, too.

"I ain't a lady, bub, and you better get that through your think skull before I gotta do it for ya!" Doris said indignantly.

Donkey finally managed to make his arm move, and he tapped Puss on the shoulder- hard.

"Donkey, what-"

The Spanish accent must have prompted the giant…ess to turn around, for Doris suddenly turned, forcing poor Charming to near-run just to keep himself from being dragged around.

"Puss?" He… she… (it, Donkey finally decided,) called out.

"Doris! How have you been?"

"That you, Puss in Boots?"

"Si. I woke up with a small problem about a week ago."

"Problem?" Charming butted in. "That doesn't seem like much of a problem to me."

"Oh, Charming, you're so sweet," Doris cooed.

"So…" It said genially, if not still slightly bewildered. "Haven't seen you since the ball."

"I know," Puss answered. "How have you been?"

"Good. Where've you been?" It asked.

"Around. Random jobs, and then about a week ago this happened," Puss gestured to his body, and then at Donkey, "and now we're just hanging around until it ends."

"Ah," Charming said wisely.

Donkey looked around. Apparently Jack and Tinkerbelle had taken off when they realized they had the chance, but Donkey thought he could see the small fairy hovering over a thatch of brown hair that had stationed itself in front of a weaponry booth.

He turned back to Doris and Charming, both of whom (mostly Doris) were now asking Puss questions about the body difference, his 'size,' any interesting sexual encounters as of late…

The last two didn't really forebear much thinking about if Donkey wanted to get through the day comfortably.

Puss suddenly grabbed him by the arm and dragged Donkey to his side. "You remember Donkey, amigo. The stupid ass who started the chase that got the Apple on T.V. and a lot of publicity," he said, plainly trying to be nice.

"And a lot of unwanted attention," the giant growled. "That's part of the reason I left. Half of the custom dropped off because the knights were keeping such a close eye on the place."

Donkey gulped. "Umm… sorry?" he offered sheepishly.

The giant glared at him, then its glare softened abruptly when Charming tugged on its sleeve to get it to bend down so he could whisper something in its ear.

"Aww, you're right," Doris sighed. Then he/she directed its attention on Donkey. "If the custom hadn'ta slacked off, I never woulda left to come find the idiot who caused the problem, and hence wouldn't've met Charming." The last part of the sentence ended in a cooing sort of voice, and the giant slipped an arm around Charming's shoulder, and he in turn slid his arm around its waist.

Donkey had to admit, it was kind of cute, but one thing was certain; this had to be the unlikeliest couple he'd ever seen, and that included… well, no, it didn't include Jack and Tinkerbelle, if they'd ever get together. It certainly didn't include the ogre and the princess. Or the clumsy donkey and the sell-sword cat, if that pairing would ever come to fruition.

It might, Donkey considered as he looked at the beautiful man conversing with the giant. It just might.

"So you've found no mention of her anywhere?" Puss asked the bounty hunter as Jack set his bags down at the table. Now they were sitting in an outdoor café, drinking light ale and waiting for the waiter to come back with their lunch. Doris and Charming had gone off on their own, Jack had gone with Tinkerbelle to tap some information sources, and Puss and Donkey had gone to look for lodgings and certain supplies. Compasses didn't seem to work quite the same way in Narnia than they did in the rest of the world.

"None," the other man replied gloomily, sliding into his seat..

"Maybe she came in under an assumed name," Donkey said. "Or if she changed her appearance… that wouldn't be too hard to do with magic, right?"

"No… no," Jack said. "Narnia isn't fond of magic; at least a lot of the religious sects aren't. Even before the cataclysm that brought them all here, a lot of the people believed that magic was the work of the Devil. Supposedly the followers of Tash used it, but we'll never know, since only one of the Calormenes came through the Door. Aslan's never said anything on the matter, and I don't think he ever will. I don't personally hold with the magicevil belief, but a lot of the people here do, and that's why they've got priests watching the ports to make sure that unsavory characters check in with the proper authorities."

"Can the priests see through magic?" Donkey asked, interested in spite of himself.

"Of course!" Jack said. "How else would they know? One of the sects supplies them; I think it's the Catholics, but I'm not quite sure. They have a special way of finding the boys who can see magic; something to do with their Popes, and they get permission from the parents and the boy himself to cart the kid off until he's of age. Then the boy can choose to either get the power blocked and go into normal life, or become a full Priest."

'What about the girls?' "What about the girls who have the power?" Puss asked, echoing Donkey's thought. .

"Umm I think that one of the Goddess-oriented sects takes them. Shortly after Narnia appeared, Aslan made a proclamation saying that females were to be given all the rights of males, including everything pertaining to religious activities. So the female sects popped up."

"Why don't they house the girls with the boys?"

Jack sighed. "Because no matter what you give the kids, hormones will break through. It only took five unwanted pregnancies for the leaders to come to a decision about separate housing for the sexes."

Donkey stared at him. "How do you know all this?" he asked warily.

"Because my brother is a full priest." Jack pushed up the right sleeve of his shirt to reveal a tattoo saying something in what looked like Latin encircling his wrist. "And I went into the same training for five years until I decided that I wasn't devoted enough. It wasn't really my belief, it was really just that some of my views differed from that of the Popes."

"Wow," Puss said.

Donkey poked the tattoo on his wrist experimentally. "What does that mean?" he asked of the tattoo.

Jack smiled. "'Actus non facit reum, nisi mens sit rea.'"

"Which means…."

"'The act is not criminal unless the intent is criminal,'" Tinkerbelle supplied from Jack's shoulder.

"O…kay…" Donkey said slowly, trying to puzzle out what that phrase was doing on Jack's wrist.

"I personally take it to mean that what I do isn't really sinning, because I don't consider it as such. Love is an act of God, so…" Jack trailed off and shrugged. "I repent for the bounties, and I only take on cases to hunt down people who have hurt or killed innocents. In a way, I'm a commando of God."

Neither Donkey nor Puss could find anything to say to that, and they were saved from an awkward situation when Doris rushed up to their table.

"Hey, yous guys gotta come quick! I managed to get yous an audience with King Edmund, but we gotta hurry." It said, grabbing up all of their bags and packages and slinging them all over one massive shoulder.

"But the food?" Donkey protested weakly.

"Charming'll get it," Doris volunteered, seating its boyfriend in the chair that Jack had just vacated.

The former prince waved at them and smiled toothily. "I'll bring it back to the flat," he said to the giant. "They can pick it up later."

"Yeah, yeah, now let's go!" Doris said, and it grabbed Donkey and Puss and started dragging them along the street, Jack following in the wake that was left in the crowd, Tinkerbelle on his shoulder.

Eventually they came to the gate that served as the lone entrance into the main complex of the castle grounds. The guards waved them through, which surprised Donkey a little; was Doris really that high up in status that it was able to pass through the walls surrounding the castle itself with no hassle, and with companions no less?

Then those thoughts were blown out of his mind by the sheer magnificence of the castle. It looked like it was made of white marble, and the windows- so many windows, all made up of colored glass, too! It looked kind of like a cathedral, really. There were perhaps a half-dozen spires rising high into the sky, and quite a few thicker towers. Obviously it would be quite impossible to defend, but obviously Narnia didn't have very many enemies, if it had any. Certainly this castle was better and more beautiful than the one in Far Far Away, at any rate.

Finally Doris let go of them as they approached the high steps leading to what looked like the front doors to Cair Paravel. The huge wooden doors were wide open, and the giant walked boldly up the steps and through the doors, Puss and Donkey trailing in its wake and Jack and Tink following behind bemusedly. Doris led them through giant hallways with huge tapestries depicting ancient battles, and Donkey's eyes were suddenly fixated on one near the very end of the hall, many tapestries past the one depicting a huge lion standing beside a door made of three strips of wood hastily tied together, with seemingly hundreds of animals pouring through it. That one was near the beginning. The one he'd seen had a beautiful woman dressed all in white, holding what looked like a wand. She was fighting with the lion from the other wall-hanging, and it looked like they were pretty evenly matched… Doris grabbed his arm and started dragging him again when he lost track of the fact that his friends had passed him some time ago. They passed the final tapestry portraying the same lion from the other two tapestries, but this time he was alone, and his mouth was open, and the tapestry was dark on one end, lighter on the other with a suggestion of plants and animals and things. Perhaps it was showing the birth of Narnia, and the other tapestry near the other end of the hall showed the cataclysm?

Then the tapestries went out of sight as he was dragged through a final pair of doors, and Doris let him go. Jack hastily smoothed down the now-rumpled front of Donkey's shirt and pulled Donkey into walking parallel behind Doris with him and Puss with Tinkerbelle floating next to them, so that Doris walked ahead and they were behind it in a line. Donkey was finally able to look around, and what he saw surprised him. They were in a long, wide hall, empty but for a few men and women dressed in either black robes, standing on the left side of the room or just men wearing the arms and armor of soldiers. These stood on the right side of the room. The one man who wore neither was sitting at the end of the hall on a simple throne of black marble that was threaded with veins of silver and gold. Three other thrones sat beside it, but Donkey wasn't really interested in those; he was too busy staring at the occupied throne. The man himself wore silver-colored sections of armor over a simpler version of the black robes. They were tighter upon his body, and much shorter, the hem only coming to mid-thigh, revealing the black pants he wore beneath them that vanished into knee-length boots. His face was handsome, and quite stern, but there were a few smile-lines around his mouth and the corner of his eyes, suggesting a kinder character than he portrayed. His hair was black, and he wore it tied in a small tail at the nape of his neck, his goatee ended in a short point, and the only concession to his rank was a simple gold coronet encircling his brow and a silver scepter in his hand.

A soldier dressed in slightly richer finery than his fellows stepped up to the right of the throne and announced in a clear, ringing voice, "Your Majesty King Edmund the Just, here are Jack the Giant Killer, Tinkerbelle the Fae, Puss in Boots, and Donkey the Dragon Tamer, come to ask about a hag that has entered Narnia!"

There were whispers among all of the people in black robes, and some of the soldiers looked worried. All were looking at the four visitors with speculation in their eyes.

"Step forward, petitioners," King Edmund said, and the three did so, Doris stepping off to the left of the throne to stand among the robed men and women who Donkey thought might be judges.

"What news have you of a hag entering the Kingdom of Narnia?" he asked gravely.

"Majesty, we were hired in the land of Tyme Ago to find and end the terror brought upon by the hag called the Black Annis. She attempted to start an uprising in Toyland, which failed, and her companions were killed in the resulting uproar. She now hides among your forests, near the place which you call the Castle of the White Witch. We beseech you to let us end her tyranny, and do not grant her asylum should she ask for it; no good will come of it, and the only thing that should follow from such a pardon would be much grief among your people, and many problems. Please allow us to hunt her down and end her miserable life," Jack finished quietly, head bowed, awaiting Edmund's decision. Donkey had never heard him talk like that before; it was so grave and quiet and polite; really quite unlike Jack's usual manner.

The King stroked his goatee thoughtfully, and stared hard at them for a moment with his steel-grey eyes.

"I know why you have come," he said finally. "Giant Killer, you are a bounty-hunter, Puss in Boots, an assassin, and your companions accompany you for the friendship you offer. We have not had such as you for many years, and none of those before you have been actively seeking something pertaining to their job. Unfortunately, I cannot allow you to seek your bounty among the forests and rivers of Narnia, nor any other lands of Aslan until you have begged it of their leaders. That is my jurisdiction, and it-"

"Do you really want another Jadis?" Doris interrupted quietly from beside of the throne, where it had been inching to since Jack had begun speaking. It had an unusually earnest look on its face, and was looking at King Edmund with a quiet seriousness written in every line of its body.

"Lady, that does not pertain to-"

"I'm afraid it does, Sir," a female voice called from near the door. Donkey peered around and saw a handsome girl with long brown hair tied into many braids. "Do you not remember the tyranny that the White Witch wrought upon Narnia before and during the first visit of the Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve?"

King Edmund was obviously flustered by the newcomer's arrival, though he tried to hide it well. "Lady Jill, one of the rules of Narnia states that there shall be no-"

"You of all people should remember her cruelty, Edmund. The White Witch wrought a reign of terror upon Narnia, and was surpassed only by the false Aslan, and that caused the end of shadow-Narnia. Do you really want another 'Imperial Majesty Jadis, Queen of Narnia, Chatelaine of Cair Paravel, and Empress of the Lone Islands' to come around, this time in True Narnia?"

She sounded a lot more down-to-earth that King Edmund the Just, in Donkey's opinion. Could she be one of the Seven Friends of Narnia, then?

"No, but-" Edmund began. He sounded very taken aback by Lady Jill's defense of the newcomers, not very like a King at all.

"Then let them hunt the Hag down, Ed," she said pleadingly. "We don't want another Witch, so let them get rid of her before she becomes a problem."

The King sighed gustily, and raised his scepter. "In the name of the Emperor-beyond-the-Sea, I do allow the Giant Killer, the assassin, the Dragon-Tamer, and the Fairy to hunt down the hag that has penetrated the borders of Narnia, and remove her as soon as possible. That is my jurisdiction, and in the name of the Great Lion, it shall be done." He let the hand holding the scepter fall, and many of the people in the room heaved great sighs.

"Well, that's that," Jack said, as Jill approached the throne, and the assorted soldiers and judges began talking amongst themselves.

"Who's she?" Donkey asked quietly of Jill.

"A Friend of Narnia. She helped King Tirian in the Last Battle of Narnia, and she was also involved in the rescue of Prince Rilian from the Queen of the Underworld," Tink informed them.

"And Edmund?"

"Is one of the four rulers of Narnia," Jack finished. The mentioned Ruler of Narnia was currently engaged in deep conversation with the younger girl.

"Why is Jill helping us?" Puss asked.

"I don't know," Tink said. "She probably doesn't want it in Narnia any more than we want the Emperor-beyond-the-Sea to start declaring war on everything and become horribly prejudiced towards everything that isn't white and pure."

Donkey snorted and then paled when he noticed that both Jill and Edmund were walking towards them. The four travelers snapped to attention and tried their best to look both brave and humble at the same time.

"Well, petitioners," Edmund began. "The Lady Jill has made me see the truth of your statement, and I offer you the service of twenty of our soldiers and five of the Talking Eagles to find the Hag and remove her. Do you concur?"

Before any of the travelers could find anything to say, Jill smacked Edmund lightly on the back of the head. "Oh, do stop talking like that, Ed. You aren't holding Court at the moment, so drop the act."

King Edmund looked sheepish, then grinned. "You're right Jilly. 'Sides, talking like that's a right trial. It came on me quick-like last time we ruled, but now it's hard to do, and I only do it when meeting with an Envoy or Ambassador or holding a Court. Rest've the time it's just too annoying. I s'pose it'll come back sooner or later, but for now it's just a bother. Lu's the same way, too. Only Peter bothers to talk like that all the time unless we're having a fun-day or meeting with our parents." He didn't even mention his sister, Susan, and Donkey wondered why he hadn't. Jack and Tink hadn't covered that, and Donkey thought it might be something they were loath to talk about.

The four bounty-seekers just stared at the King who would talk like a regular person. It was actually quite funny. Donkey would love to see the day when King Harold-the-frog and Queen Lillith-kisser-of-said-frog would meet him. And if his sister and the other Friends of Narnia were anything like these two, Far Far Away might be in for another surprise, even worse than they had when Fiona and her newlywed husband had showed up.

"Well, then," Jill said. "Lunch, anyone?"

"Wow," Donkey said. "Now dat's a lotta food." Puss elbowed him and Jill broke a smile at Donkey's accented language.

It was true. The table before them was laid out with an array of foods, both meat and vegetable. Ham, turkey, salads, raw food, fresh food, even sushi sat on the table. "Please," Jill said. "Help yourselves."

Cautiously, Donkey reached for what looked like a large pastry, nibbled it, then bit into it with a lot more enthusiasm when he found that it had ham and cheese baked into the center. After he'd swallowed, he asked, "What are these?"

"Ah," Edmund said. "I see you've discovered the hot pockets. Some of the newer arrivals from other parts of Aslan's country brought us these ideas, and they've been quite a success."

"They're really good," Donkey said, taking another bite.

"You should try the pepperoni ones," Jill recommended.

"Ah, excellent!" A male voice said from behind them. "Lunch!" Donkey turned to find himself face-to-face with a lean, middle-aged man who had a blond beard and looked quite older than either Edmund or Jill.

"Professor Kirke!" Jill and Edmund exclaimed together. "Please, sir, sit down," Jill said, pulling up a chair, and Edmund pushed a platter of food towards him.

"Children, please," he pleaded laughingly. "How many times do I have to tell you to call me Diggory?"

"A hundred, sir. It's only been twenty so far," Edmund said, eyes twinkling.

"The youth of the young…" Kirke murmured playfully. "And who are these fine fellows?" he asked upon spotting Donkey and his companions.

Edmund said, "They came to appeal to search out a Hag that got by the Catholic Priests, sir. I'm giving them special permission so that we don't get another Jadis."

"I see. Where is she, then?" he asked Donkey directly, staring at him with eyes that seemed to see straight through the dark man.

"Uhh… by the Castle of the White Witch, sir."

"Does she seek to become another like the White Witch?"

We- we don't know, sir," Donkey said honestly. "She's rare in our countries, too, so we don't really know much about her."

Kirke nodded. "Where I come from, she's a myth, so it's rather hard to tell."

"…yeah…"

"Do you like the hot pockets?" Kirke asked.

"They're really good, sir." Donkey said.

"Please, please! Call me Diggory!"

"Alright, then, s-Diggory."

"Excellent."

On the other side of the table, Jill and Edmund were having a conversation about their brethren.

"When will Lucy be back?"

"I don't know. She sent word from Archenland that she might be delayed. Apparently they're having some problems with the shipping methods overseas."

"Well, none of us have really ever had to trade overseas before. It was always done by caravan, and the few seas shipping was to the Islands, and Narnia was really the only one to trade with them," Edmund told her.

"They'll get used to it," Jill said.

"And Peter's currently closeted with the Envoy from Atlantis, trying to work out trade agreements, and Polly's out working with the heads of the Religions, so we're on our own… What about Eustace?"

"He's off with a lady-friend," said Jill. Even from this short distance she looked rather cross, and Donkey supposed that she must be jealous.

Edmund looked like he was laughing. "Jilly, you've got to tell him sometime. Might as well be before-" and she hushed him. "Not here, Ed."

"Oh, all right."

Donkey turned his attention back to getting one of the pepperoni hot pockets, and devoted himself to enjoying it before they had to get down to the unpleasant business of dealing with the Black Annis. Mmm, he mused as he ate the pocket. These were really good.