Title: Rory Gilmore, This Is Your Life!

Chapter Two: Boyfriend Boxes

Summary: Rory has just recently gotten engaged, and here come the complications!

Spoilers: None here! At least, I don't think so. I've been kinda sick lately, so I'm not sure of anything.

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Except for Noel. And Todd. And Paul. And Dean. He's in prison. And Jess. He's tied to the bed, but he's not in prison. No, wait, sorry, that's in my head.

But I really do own Noel and Todd and Paul.

Distribution: E-mail is nice. Please tell me if you wish to convey my words to anyone else! Sami57peace2u@hotmail.com (and you can't use it too much!)

A/N: This is absolutely the best part of my new story. You'll love it, I swear.

Okay, when something says "Dean: blah-blah-blah," it means that Dean said, "blah-blah-blah." There is no action, because the boxes are talking, not the actual people. Although the boxes are pretty up-to-date on Rory's love life. But anyway….

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Dean: I hate this closet.

Jess: You hate this closet? You're not a free spirit.

Todd: Dude, did you just call yourself a free spirit? Cause 1, if you say you're a free spirit, you're not a free spirit, and B, If anyone's a free spirit, it's me.

Noel: Oh, my God! Would you stop doing the goddamn (1) (B), (A)(2) thing? Everyone knows you stole it from Paul Reiser on Mad About You!

Dean: I didn't know that.

Noel: You're a complete pop-culture idiot. I don't know how you even went out with Rory.

Dean: I was her first boyfriend.

Jess: In other words, he was new in town, the only guy she hadn't grown up with.

Dean: The same could be said for you, diner boy.

Noel: But Rory and Jess had a lot in common. Books, movies, crap like that.

Jess: Yeah.

Dean: Why are you sticking up for him? He's your competition.

Noel: No, he's not. By the time I got to know Rory, she'd already gotten over Jess.

Paul: How long was that again? I keep forgetting.

Noel: They split up in May, and we got together at Thanksgiving at the dorm.

Dean: And split up the next Thanksgiving.

Noel: Hey, man, we've already gone over this! After a year, we felt that we'd grown apart, so we mutually agreed to be good friends. Unlike the time you split up with her cause she didn't say "I love you"!

Dean: Well, she didn't love me. And I loved her.

Noel: She was sixteen, and you'd been going out for three months!

Jess: We never said we loved each other.

Todd: Neither did we.

Noel: We did, once, and then we agreed to not bring it up again.

Dean: Well, she obviously didn't love any of you.

Jess: Oh, no. She loved me.

Noel: Oh, she did, I know.

Dean: What about you?

Noel: I think we just thought it was time.

Dean: See? She didn't love you.

Noel: That's okay, I didn't love her like that either. I liked Paris.

Jess: You liked Paris?

Noel: Yeah. I got over that quick.

Paul: Yeah, once she kneed you in the groin.

Dean: She kneed you in the groin?

Noel: Yeah. Stop laughing. It's not funny.

Jess: Why'd she do that?

Noel: I told her that she needed to chill. School wasn't everything.

Dean: And she kneed you in the groin?

Noel: Yes, then she kneed me in the groin.

Jess: That sucks.

Noel: Totally.

Jess: Careful, I'll start quoting The Breakfast Club to you.

Noel: Totally? Totally.

Jess: I wanna be you, I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.

Noel: Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers? No, Mr. Johnson.

Todd: Okay, great, we get it. You guys like The Breakfast Club. Have you ever seen any of my movies?

Jess: No, thank God.

Dean: Same here.

Noel: Me too.

Todd: Okay, you guys don't count, you're too old to have seen 'em. What about you, Paul?

Paul: I think I took my girlfriend to see one once.

Todd: Which one?

Paul: Virtual Dreaming, I think.

Todd: That one came out in…'07. When'd you go out with Rory?

Paul: '05 to '06, one month in '08.

Todd: You're the guy who knocked up his girlfriend and ran off to marry her?

Paul: Yeah.

Todd: Oh, she hated that. She hated you cause of that.

Paul: I never thought she should have been that mad. I didn't cheat on her or anything.

Jess: The same thing happened to her mom, asshole.

Paul: Oh.

Dean: Her dad came back and was gonna get together with her mom, and then his girlfriend was pregnant, so he left them.

Paul: That sucks.

Noel: You didn't know that?

Paul: No.

Noel: What did you talk about?

Paul: I dunno. Stuff.

Jess: Oh, that's a nice relationship.

Dean: And what did the two of you talk about after you finally started going out?

Jess: Books.

Dean: Kissing.

Jess: Yeah, the kissing was new to us, at that point.

Dean: Except for the one at Sookie's wedding.

Jess: How'd you know about that?

Todd: Guys! We've been over that! Leave it alone!

Noel: Yeah, really. We're supposed to be discussing something much more important. Rory's new boyfriend.

Todd: He's an asshole.

Noel: You're just mad cause he stole her from you.

Todd: He's still an asshole.

Noel: You know, it's your own fault that she dumped you. You were spending all of your time working for charity, not telling her when you were jetting off to Kuwait…. Obviously she was going to leave you soon.

Paul: Yeah, and she jumped into Greg's arms cause he was your PR agent, and spending a lot of time with her.

Todd: Yeah, but still.

Jess: We know. He's an asshole. I don't think I'll consider him an asshole until he breaks Rory's heart. Like Paul did.

Paul: You consider me an asshole?

Jess: You broke her heart, man, and then you didn't even know why she was so mad.

Paul: Do the rest of you think I'm an asshole?

Dean: Yeah.

Paul: I guess I am, kind of.

Noel: I think we all did some pretty asinine things at one point or another.

Dean: I was too possessive. And I broke up with her in front of the town.

Jess: I treated her like crap.

Dean: Yeah, that was a sucky thing to do.

Jess: Shut up, Dean.

Noel: I took her for granted after a while.

Paul: I didn't pay any attention to her family, and then I left her to marry my pregnant girlfriend.

Todd: I ignored her. I think we actually went on two dates—the rest of the time I was out of the country.

Dean: That's pretty bad.

Noel: You broke up with her in front of the town. And Shane. That was stupid.

Jess: I went out with Shane. That was stupider.

Paul: I agree.

Dean: Me, too. What'd you do with her, anyway?

Jess: You're too young to know.

Dean: Oh.

Jess: Yeah.

Paul: Hey, did any of us…you know…with Rory? I didn't.

Todd: Me neither. I know that for sure.

Dean: I didn't. I still had her pretty young.

Noel: I didn't. We talked about it, and she said she was waiting.

Jess: We didn't, either.

Paul: So no one did?

Todd: I wonder if Greg is.

Noel: Dude, that's a sick thought.

Todd: I know. But I wonder if she still is?

Jess: Yeah. Could we sacrifice her for a good harvest?

Paul: We'll just have to wait till Greg's box comes in here.

Dean: I hate to break it to you, guys, but I don't think Greg's box is gonna come in here.

Todd: But…he hasn't even met Lorelai yet.

Dean: Well, no, not officially.

Jess: How did they manage that, anyway? They've been going out for two years.

Noel: They've just managed to be really busy at different times, and Lorelai's always visited when he's off with someone else.

Paul: That's weird.

Todd: Yeah, it is. But then again, that's the kind of asshole Greg is.

Jess: I don't think he's an asshole.

Dean: I think he's her one.