Disclaimer: It's all her's.
A/N: Not my first piece where Remus thinks about his life but its definitely different from what I'm use too. Please be kind and give me constructive criticism. Thanks a million. By the way, I will be editing this piece soon but I wanted to 'test the waters' if you will.
The moon hangs low over the cold chiseled horizon. Brittle branches snap and fall deftly to the forest floor. I am alone tonight, shunned from the embrace of friends and family. They laugh from their windowed lives only vaguely seeing me through their own narcissistic reflections. I do not fit their mold, so I am a monster. If they only knew that they don't fit mine either.
When morning dawns I'll knock at the door and with a jerking thrust I'll find myself back inside their world again. Sly smiles will dance around me welcoming me back but at times like that I long for my world again. A world that doesn't judge because it has problems of its own. I am only one part, a necessary part, of a whole.
Soggy hair sticks to the base of my neck with its thick oils dripping down my back I shiver. My wild eyes can make you shrink away; they are like ambers from the belly of the earth set to fire inside my head. Often they scan the dark places of world, what they seek, I cannot say. Perhaps it's only the darkness that comforts them, but maybe it's more.
Maybe in the darkness they can remember brighter days when they twinkled with new found happiness. Or days when they saw the seamless rolling sea and the little knotty trees with leaves fluttering like coins in the autumn breeze. Maybe it's a memory of a face they once knew. In the darkness imagination becomes reality. Old friends can step out of the pages of time and my loneliness can shrink away and for just a moment I can pretend things never changed. For one moment in perfect darkness everything I have ever loved hangs there in the dark with me in between the worlds. The world where I cannot follow, and the world where I cannot truly live.
A/N: Very much a work in progress. I'm trying to write a genuine response to what Remus Lupin may be feeling after the death of Sirius. Definitly a self indulgent piece and very different to what I normally write. I'm looking for a good beta. Please email if anyone is interested. Thanks and remember, please review.