Title: Rory Gilmore, This Is Your Life!

Chapter Six: Boyfriend Boxes 3

Summary: More complaining about Greg; a half-full wedding box shows up and everyone freaks out. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Spoilers: Yes. It turns out that the boyfriend boxes shall be coming to life in future episodes, and the Dean and Jess box shall duke it out while Rory waltzes off to college, unknowingly.

Disclaimer: They're not mine. And the spoiler's not true. If you thought it was…well, you need to visit Bellevue and stay there. If you don't know where Bellevue is…go there anyway.

Distribution: You know by now that I don't mind, I just want to be emailed. Sami57peace2u@hotmail.com

A/N: I am so cruel! And this isn't even the chapter where you find out who the blonde and brunette are! I'm evil!

Oh, and I plotted out the storyline—either I have a penchant for the dramatic, or I've been watching too many soap operas, or I've become too addicted to "Soap" (this great sitcom from the 70s that made fun of soap operas and had one of America's first openly gay characters—played by Billy Crystal, who does it wonderfully). Anyway, the outline—just the outline—is a page a half long. So this story's going on for a while. And, (and I'm very proud of this) this is the first time I've ever known what was going to happen! I'm so thrilled.

~~~~

Todd: Greg's an asshole.

Paul: Dude! Cut it out!

Jess: Yeah, seriously.

Dean: It's getting really annoying.

Todd: God, sorry. It's not my fault he's an asshole.

Jess: Come on!

Todd: Sorry.

Noel: Guys, shush!

Paul: Dude, don't tell me to shush. Who do you think you are?

Dean: Yeah. You can't tell any of us to shush.

Noel: Guys! Shut up!

Dean: Why?

Jess: Dean, just do what he says.

Dean: Why the hell—

Paul: Just do it.

Dean: Whatever.

Jess: Yeah, good job shutting up.

Dean: Thanks.

Todd: Hey! High school boys. Shut up. Noel's got something to say.

Dean: Sorry.

Jess: Go ahead, Noel.

Noel: Okay. You guys see that box over there?

Dean: Yeah.

Noel: It's new. And I'm pretty sure it's got wedding stuff in it.

Paul: Whoa.

Jess: Whaddya mean, wedding stuff?

Noel: Like, a guest list, kinds of flowers, a menu, a wedding dress sketch.

Paul: They're moving awfully fast. They just got here yesterday.

Noel: I know! That's what's so…not right about it.

Jess: Not right? As in wrong?

Noel: Yeah, I guess. How are they already so far along?

Todd: Cause Greg's an asshole, that's how. And he wants to get married to Rory before she finds out what an asshole he is.

Noel: You know, that could be true.

Paul: Oh, yeah. That sounds plausible.

Todd: You guys don't have to mock me.

Noel: No, I'm not!

Paul: Oh, me neither…. Okay, I was mocking you. But I guess that could be possible.

Dean: I don't think so.

Noel: You're in high school. Shut the hell up.

Dean: Sorry.

Noel: Don't say it like that, you sound like a jerk.

Dean: Sorry.

Jess: Dean, shut up.

Dean: No, Jess. I don't have to do anything you tell me to.

Jess: "To do." Anything I tell you "to do." Don't end a sentence with a preposition.

Paul: Yeah, dude, that's just so wrong.

Noel: God, Paul, stop mocking everything.

Paul: Yeah, fine. I'll just tape myself shut.

Todd: Would you? Cause that would be great.

Paul: Oh, you need to do it too, because we already know that Greg's an asshole. You tell us all the time! Let it go already!!

Todd: But it's true, he is a—

Noel: Don't say it!

Todd: Yeah, uh-huh, you thought I was gonna say as—

Paul: Todd!

Todd: Okay, I'll stop. I won't say that Greg's an asshole.

Paul: Dammit Todd!

Todd: Ha ha, I snuck one by ya!

Jess: I don't think that box is for Rory and Greg.

Noel: Oh? And what makes you say that?

Jess: Because there's a picture in there of Lane and Dave standing next to Elvis in a chapel.

Noel: What?

Dean: So it's Lane and Dave's?

Jess: Looks like it.

Dean: Well, then, it's not Rory's! That's good, right?

Paul: It could be worse. It could mean that she's really serious, and she wants to have a wedding just like Lane's, cause Lane and Dave are still together after four years and still in love.

Todd: God, Lorelai babbles a lot.

Paul: You know, she really does.

Noel: Whatever. Still, it's a wedding box. That means she's getting serious.

Dean: I think we already knew she was serious when she showed up, all ready to plan a wedding.

Jess: No, cause she was reading my letters and got cold feet.

Paul: It's too early to get cold feet. Cold feet this early means that she's gonna run.

Dean: Not a Gilmore girl. Cold feet this early to them means that they'll be completely dedicated the rest of the way. Cold feet the week before the wedding means it's over. Otherwise, they're committed for life.

Noel: How do you know? When has a Gilmore girl ever been dedicated for life?

Dean: It happened to Emily. She almost ran right before they got engaged, but she stayed, and she and Richard have been together for a real long time.

Todd: Sister?

Dean: Grandmother.

Todd: Oh. Man, I'm out of it.

Jess: Yeah, we figured that when Rory dumped you for your PR guy.

Todd: He's an asshole.

Noel: Todd!

Paul: Shut the hell up!

Dean: Please!

Jess: Oh, good, ever polite Frankenstein.

Dean: Did you call me Frankenstein?

Jess: Cause of the scowl.

Dean: Oh. Okay.