~
Chapter 21
~
Dead orcs? They really do make rather comfortable chairs.
The battle is over. Fucking finally. Gandalf rode in with Mr. Testosterone and about two thousand of his closest friends and saved the day. Aragorn and Legolas and Boromir all went and kicked ass and took names and had lots and lots of Manly and Elfly fun.
Males. Of any species. They are all the same. They like blood and guts and sharp toys.
So, currently, I am sitting outside the Keep, reclining on a dead Uruk-hai, listening to Gimli and Legolas banter and just basking in the sunshine. Well, as much as one can bask in the sunshine when you are surrounded by a pile of completely grody Uruk corpses.
"I beat ye, lad," Gimli's saying as I check briefly back into reality. "Ye're just gonna have to live with it."
"Live with it?" Legolas asks, arching an eyebrow.
And he makes even THAT look just as sexy as hell. Maybe I lost more blood than I thought. Which might also be what makes me say the first things that pop into my head. No, wait, I've always done that.
"What he means is that you're going to have to accept that you got your ass kicked by somebody short and hairy," I say, and grin at them.
Gimli laughs. He really is very hard to offend. Legolas just shakes his head. Haldir is sitting off to one side, reclining on a corpse, watching it all with an amused expression.
"Aye, that's what I meant. Now get yer poncy Elvish ass over there and check out the lass's injuries."
I groan and flop my head back against my chair's shoulder. "Yeah, thanks a lot, Gimli."
Legolas is already frowning at me. "You are injured? Where?"
I sigh and hold out my arm. He comes over and crouches in front of me, pulling some bandages and herbs from the bag at his waist and a canteen or whatever you wanna call it from somewhere and frowning at the gash on my arm.
I don't know why. It's not like he hasn't seen a billion like it this morning. I mean, tending the wounded is what we've been doing all bloody morning. We've been tending the wounded and carting around the dead and making room for the living. And we'll ride in some of the patrols later this evening, rounding up whatever the trees didn't eat.
I wince as Legolas rinses out the cut. "Shouldn't someone else be doing that? Like Aragorn or Eowyn or...somebody who's not you?"
"Aragorn is busy, tending the wounded, as is Lady Eowyn. I fear I am all you have, my Lady," he says stiffly, and I realize I've offended him.
I touch his wrist. "Sorry."
He shakes his head and ties off the bandage. "No, I apologize, Kayli. I have not had rest for several days. I am..."
"Cranky," I finish, and grin at him.
Boromir limps towards us, trying to walk straight despite the cut on his thigh. "King Theoden is quite insistent that all that can, ride come morning. Can we be ready?"
Legolas nods, looking tired, and Gimli grunts his assent. Boromir turns to Haldir. "What of you, my Lord? Will you return with your archers to Lothlorien?"
Haldir shakes his head. "No, I will remain with Aragorn and his companions for as long as he is of a mind to allow it. And then some more, just to irritate him."
I laugh. Hey, at least he's honest.
Boromir turns towards me, looking concerned and brotherly. "Will you be well enough to ride come morning?"
I nod. "Yes, Mother."
"Are you being truthful?"
"Would I lie to you?" I ask mildly, and Legolas coughs lightly.
"If it served your purpose? Aye. In a heartbeat."
"You know me too well," I respond. "But, no, I'm not lying. I'm fine."
"Where do we ride?" Haldir asks, cutting in before Boromir can go off on his tangent.
"Isengard," he answers. "Gandalf says that perhaps Merry & Pippin await us there."
I look up quickly, and grin at him. "Great! When do we go again?"
~
Ugh. No offense, Hershey, but I hate horses.
Yes, I named my horse Hershey. Shut up. Eomer never told me his name.
Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf, and Eomer are crowded around Theoden, holding a conference or something, so I'm riding with Eowyn, who's pouting at being excluded.
And we're RIDING. Yay. I have blisters in places I don't even want to think about.
Eowyn gives Aragorn one last look and heaves a great sigh. I roll my eyes. She turns to me.
"Tell me about him."
"Who?" I ask, as though I don't know. "Gimli?"
She frowns at me. "No, Lord Aragorn."
I sigh. "Dunedan. Great tracker. Warrior. Leader. What do you want to know?"
Legolas and Gimli break away from King Théoden and drop back to ride with us. Legolas says nothing, just watches with a slightly amused expression.
I rake my hair back off my face. "Are would you rather hear all about the Lady he's betrothed to?"
Eowyn fidgets in her saddle, and I know this is what she wanted to talk about. She wants to hear all about the 'competition.' Oh, honey, there is NO competition. Arwen's got you beat six ways to Sunday and then some.
"Lord Aragorn said that she has sailed with the rest of her kin."
Legolas coughs lightly. "Ain't gonna happen," I say.
"Do you truly think not?" Legolas asks.
I shake my head. "You're all hopeless. I'm gonna go bug Aragorn. Figure it out yourselves."
If I am ever that pathetic, God, just nail me with a lightning bolt, ok?
~
I AM that pathetic. Any time you're ready, there, God.
I'm in love. Ain't that a kick in the head. Especially since it's that fucking Elf. I mean, he's a drastic change - definitely for the better - from Devin, who turned out gay, and Jared, who cheated on me with his stepsister, and Damien, who was engaged. Yeah, my taste in men isn't the best.
Oooh, look, a big, pointy black tower. As Shrek would say, do you think he's compensating for something?
And there are Merry and Pippin, relaxing and smoking. Merry stands up. Pippin just waves. "My Lords," Merry says dramatically, "welcome to Isengard."
Gimli growls. Yes, growls. It's hilarious. "A merry hunt ye've led us on, and when we finally find ye, ye're sitting around, eating! And smoking! Rascals."
"We are relaxing upon the field of victory, enjoying the spoils of war," Pippin corrects.
I giggle.
"Hobbits," Gandalf sighs, and rolls his eyes.
"We're under orders," Merry says defensively. "From Treebeard, who's taken up management of Isengard."
Holy shit. It's a talking tree.
Boromir's frozen in his saddle, and Legolas's eyes have gone very large. Gimli's the only one who doesn't look impressed. He's already stumped his way over to the Hobbits, demanding pipeweed. I slide down from my horse and hurry over.
I drop down next to them, throw one arm around Merry and the other around Pippin, and give each one a sound, smacking kiss on the cheek. "Gimli's right," I say. "You're both rascals."
I pause a moment, and look closer. "Is it just me, or have you two grown?"
They grin at each other.
"Must just be you, Miss Kayli," Pippin says. He looks over my shoulder, and his grin nearly takes in his ears. "Boromir!" he shouts, right in my ear, and bolts, Merry right behind him.
I watch for a moment as Boromir drops down to hug the 'little ones' and they start telling him all about their adventures in high, excited voices, and I can't help but smile.
Gimli plops down next to me, puffing on his pipe contentedly. "Happiest I've ever seen that lad," he says, and I nod in agreement.
Let's get some happiness in. I have a feeling things are really gonna suck later.
TBC...
True Maven – Ah, I live but to serve. I'm glad you're enjoying. And, you have to admit, Kayli doesn't think like the rest of us, now does she? Ah, our favoritest Elf. What would she do without all the angst?
Girl Tree – I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Here's some more! Thank you!
Sylvia Viridian – Thanks! I try. And I'll try the story as soon as I can...but, yeah. Busy. Work SUCKS! Burger King is one of Satan's major triumphs, did you know that? Right after junk mail, porno spam, and McNuggets. Thank you so much!
Arsinoe Selene – She DOES seem to be a bit cranky, doesn't she? I can't imagine why. Must be hormones. Thanks!
Andrew Joshua Talon – Well, she's explained to me that she tends to kinda space during battle. Besides, I'm saving all the battle excitement for Pelennor. Also, I met the Dunedain for the Rangers. And I figured that out. Thanks so much!
Catherine Maria – I KNOW! Doesn't that just drive you NUTS? Poor Dwarf. And I couldn't kill Haldir. He's too wonderfully sarcastic. Hmm. Ah, yes, Boromir. Heh. Wouldn't YOU like to know! Thank you so much!
Nepthys5 – No kidding. MEN. Ug. And thanks!
ADC – Oh, Leilanni'll show up eventually. Thanks again! You rock!
Anime no Megami – I just want you to know that Yami Me kinda scares me. I think it's the villain laugh. Thanks!
Valentia – Let me just say that I am NOT the biggest fan of movie-Faramir. He was NOT a schmuck, and he didn't know anything about the ring. Sorry, had a moment there. Thanks!
Elrohir lover – I try, I really do. Thanks!
BtchieChrissy – Please, no begging! But I will take chocolate! Thanks!
Becca – Isn't that just the most hilarious thing? I owe a Night Mare for that one. I have the ODDEST dreams. Church, huh? Well. Have...fun? Is that what you tell somebody when they're going to church? Thanks!
Ainu lote – Thanks again! You rock!
Snorkle – Phew. THAT'S a relief. Thanks!
Eryna Kahn – OK, if I remember my Return of the King right, then the Grey Company would be Halbarad and E2 and the Dunedain, right? If so, then it's a definite possibility. I'm trying to work it in! Thanks so much!
Chapter 21
~
Dead orcs? They really do make rather comfortable chairs.
The battle is over. Fucking finally. Gandalf rode in with Mr. Testosterone and about two thousand of his closest friends and saved the day. Aragorn and Legolas and Boromir all went and kicked ass and took names and had lots and lots of Manly and Elfly fun.
Males. Of any species. They are all the same. They like blood and guts and sharp toys.
So, currently, I am sitting outside the Keep, reclining on a dead Uruk-hai, listening to Gimli and Legolas banter and just basking in the sunshine. Well, as much as one can bask in the sunshine when you are surrounded by a pile of completely grody Uruk corpses.
"I beat ye, lad," Gimli's saying as I check briefly back into reality. "Ye're just gonna have to live with it."
"Live with it?" Legolas asks, arching an eyebrow.
And he makes even THAT look just as sexy as hell. Maybe I lost more blood than I thought. Which might also be what makes me say the first things that pop into my head. No, wait, I've always done that.
"What he means is that you're going to have to accept that you got your ass kicked by somebody short and hairy," I say, and grin at them.
Gimli laughs. He really is very hard to offend. Legolas just shakes his head. Haldir is sitting off to one side, reclining on a corpse, watching it all with an amused expression.
"Aye, that's what I meant. Now get yer poncy Elvish ass over there and check out the lass's injuries."
I groan and flop my head back against my chair's shoulder. "Yeah, thanks a lot, Gimli."
Legolas is already frowning at me. "You are injured? Where?"
I sigh and hold out my arm. He comes over and crouches in front of me, pulling some bandages and herbs from the bag at his waist and a canteen or whatever you wanna call it from somewhere and frowning at the gash on my arm.
I don't know why. It's not like he hasn't seen a billion like it this morning. I mean, tending the wounded is what we've been doing all bloody morning. We've been tending the wounded and carting around the dead and making room for the living. And we'll ride in some of the patrols later this evening, rounding up whatever the trees didn't eat.
I wince as Legolas rinses out the cut. "Shouldn't someone else be doing that? Like Aragorn or Eowyn or...somebody who's not you?"
"Aragorn is busy, tending the wounded, as is Lady Eowyn. I fear I am all you have, my Lady," he says stiffly, and I realize I've offended him.
I touch his wrist. "Sorry."
He shakes his head and ties off the bandage. "No, I apologize, Kayli. I have not had rest for several days. I am..."
"Cranky," I finish, and grin at him.
Boromir limps towards us, trying to walk straight despite the cut on his thigh. "King Theoden is quite insistent that all that can, ride come morning. Can we be ready?"
Legolas nods, looking tired, and Gimli grunts his assent. Boromir turns to Haldir. "What of you, my Lord? Will you return with your archers to Lothlorien?"
Haldir shakes his head. "No, I will remain with Aragorn and his companions for as long as he is of a mind to allow it. And then some more, just to irritate him."
I laugh. Hey, at least he's honest.
Boromir turns towards me, looking concerned and brotherly. "Will you be well enough to ride come morning?"
I nod. "Yes, Mother."
"Are you being truthful?"
"Would I lie to you?" I ask mildly, and Legolas coughs lightly.
"If it served your purpose? Aye. In a heartbeat."
"You know me too well," I respond. "But, no, I'm not lying. I'm fine."
"Where do we ride?" Haldir asks, cutting in before Boromir can go off on his tangent.
"Isengard," he answers. "Gandalf says that perhaps Merry & Pippin await us there."
I look up quickly, and grin at him. "Great! When do we go again?"
~
Ugh. No offense, Hershey, but I hate horses.
Yes, I named my horse Hershey. Shut up. Eomer never told me his name.
Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf, and Eomer are crowded around Theoden, holding a conference or something, so I'm riding with Eowyn, who's pouting at being excluded.
And we're RIDING. Yay. I have blisters in places I don't even want to think about.
Eowyn gives Aragorn one last look and heaves a great sigh. I roll my eyes. She turns to me.
"Tell me about him."
"Who?" I ask, as though I don't know. "Gimli?"
She frowns at me. "No, Lord Aragorn."
I sigh. "Dunedan. Great tracker. Warrior. Leader. What do you want to know?"
Legolas and Gimli break away from King Théoden and drop back to ride with us. Legolas says nothing, just watches with a slightly amused expression.
I rake my hair back off my face. "Are would you rather hear all about the Lady he's betrothed to?"
Eowyn fidgets in her saddle, and I know this is what she wanted to talk about. She wants to hear all about the 'competition.' Oh, honey, there is NO competition. Arwen's got you beat six ways to Sunday and then some.
"Lord Aragorn said that she has sailed with the rest of her kin."
Legolas coughs lightly. "Ain't gonna happen," I say.
"Do you truly think not?" Legolas asks.
I shake my head. "You're all hopeless. I'm gonna go bug Aragorn. Figure it out yourselves."
If I am ever that pathetic, God, just nail me with a lightning bolt, ok?
~
I AM that pathetic. Any time you're ready, there, God.
I'm in love. Ain't that a kick in the head. Especially since it's that fucking Elf. I mean, he's a drastic change - definitely for the better - from Devin, who turned out gay, and Jared, who cheated on me with his stepsister, and Damien, who was engaged. Yeah, my taste in men isn't the best.
Oooh, look, a big, pointy black tower. As Shrek would say, do you think he's compensating for something?
And there are Merry and Pippin, relaxing and smoking. Merry stands up. Pippin just waves. "My Lords," Merry says dramatically, "welcome to Isengard."
Gimli growls. Yes, growls. It's hilarious. "A merry hunt ye've led us on, and when we finally find ye, ye're sitting around, eating! And smoking! Rascals."
"We are relaxing upon the field of victory, enjoying the spoils of war," Pippin corrects.
I giggle.
"Hobbits," Gandalf sighs, and rolls his eyes.
"We're under orders," Merry says defensively. "From Treebeard, who's taken up management of Isengard."
Holy shit. It's a talking tree.
Boromir's frozen in his saddle, and Legolas's eyes have gone very large. Gimli's the only one who doesn't look impressed. He's already stumped his way over to the Hobbits, demanding pipeweed. I slide down from my horse and hurry over.
I drop down next to them, throw one arm around Merry and the other around Pippin, and give each one a sound, smacking kiss on the cheek. "Gimli's right," I say. "You're both rascals."
I pause a moment, and look closer. "Is it just me, or have you two grown?"
They grin at each other.
"Must just be you, Miss Kayli," Pippin says. He looks over my shoulder, and his grin nearly takes in his ears. "Boromir!" he shouts, right in my ear, and bolts, Merry right behind him.
I watch for a moment as Boromir drops down to hug the 'little ones' and they start telling him all about their adventures in high, excited voices, and I can't help but smile.
Gimli plops down next to me, puffing on his pipe contentedly. "Happiest I've ever seen that lad," he says, and I nod in agreement.
Let's get some happiness in. I have a feeling things are really gonna suck later.
TBC...
True Maven – Ah, I live but to serve. I'm glad you're enjoying. And, you have to admit, Kayli doesn't think like the rest of us, now does she? Ah, our favoritest Elf. What would she do without all the angst?
Girl Tree – I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Here's some more! Thank you!
Sylvia Viridian – Thanks! I try. And I'll try the story as soon as I can...but, yeah. Busy. Work SUCKS! Burger King is one of Satan's major triumphs, did you know that? Right after junk mail, porno spam, and McNuggets. Thank you so much!
Arsinoe Selene – She DOES seem to be a bit cranky, doesn't she? I can't imagine why. Must be hormones. Thanks!
Andrew Joshua Talon – Well, she's explained to me that she tends to kinda space during battle. Besides, I'm saving all the battle excitement for Pelennor. Also, I met the Dunedain for the Rangers. And I figured that out. Thanks so much!
Catherine Maria – I KNOW! Doesn't that just drive you NUTS? Poor Dwarf. And I couldn't kill Haldir. He's too wonderfully sarcastic. Hmm. Ah, yes, Boromir. Heh. Wouldn't YOU like to know! Thank you so much!
Nepthys5 – No kidding. MEN. Ug. And thanks!
ADC – Oh, Leilanni'll show up eventually. Thanks again! You rock!
Anime no Megami – I just want you to know that Yami Me kinda scares me. I think it's the villain laugh. Thanks!
Valentia – Let me just say that I am NOT the biggest fan of movie-Faramir. He was NOT a schmuck, and he didn't know anything about the ring. Sorry, had a moment there. Thanks!
Elrohir lover – I try, I really do. Thanks!
BtchieChrissy – Please, no begging! But I will take chocolate! Thanks!
Becca – Isn't that just the most hilarious thing? I owe a Night Mare for that one. I have the ODDEST dreams. Church, huh? Well. Have...fun? Is that what you tell somebody when they're going to church? Thanks!
Ainu lote – Thanks again! You rock!
Snorkle – Phew. THAT'S a relief. Thanks!
Eryna Kahn – OK, if I remember my Return of the King right, then the Grey Company would be Halbarad and E2 and the Dunedain, right? If so, then it's a definite possibility. I'm trying to work it in! Thanks so much!