I am going crazy. Crazier. Absolutely loony. Pick your phrase. If I have to be trapped in this blood castle one more day I'm gonna run screaming off the battlements.

Why do I feel like I should be MARCHING somewhere? Oh, that's right. Because I've spent the better part of a year MARCHING somewhere. I don't know how much longer I can sit still. Eventually, I'm gonna snap, and somebody's gonna pay.

And there's too many PEOPLE! Ugh. Hate people. All I want to be right now is ALONE.

So I take a book out into the gardens, settle down onto a bench, open my book...and drop my head onto the pages. Faramir and Eowyn. Very recognizable...noises. I get up and migrate to another bench. No, you don't wanna know what I was talking about. Needless to say, I just need to find a different place to sit. In an entirely different part of the garden.

"Oh, my Lady, what a pleasant surprise."

Lady Althea. Oh, grrr. Of all the stuck-up, obnoxious ladies of the court to run into, it had to be Althea. The one who's pissed 'cause Eowyn got Faramir, in case your looking for backstory. Her sister Edana's actually pretty cool. We all had the pleasure of each other's company last night at Aragorn's coronation ball. It was alot of fun for me, since I don't dance. Or, at least, I try to avoid it whenever possible. I did enough to be polite. Danced with both of the twins. And Elladan made me laugh so hard I forgot the steps.

But, anyway, none of that is the point. The point is that I want to avoid Althea whenever possible, because, for some strange reason, she thinks it's my fault that Faramir chose Eowyn. Don't ask me why, but it is. I smile. Or at least, it sort of looks like a smile, I assume. "Lady Althea."

"Ah, Lady Kayli, we've been looking for you," says a new and very welcome voice.

Celeborn and Galadriel come strolling towards us, serene and glowing. I immediately bow, but it takes Althea a second or two to peel her eyes off Celeborn and catch Galadriel's amused look.She blushes and bows her head, and Celeborn takes my arm. "I trust you'll excuse us, my Lady," he says, and leads me away.

"Oh, thank you thank you thank," I mutter, still clutching my book.

Galadriel laughs and takes her husband's other arm. "Yes, she seemed delightful." She looks at me with those piercing eyes, and I wonder if I should just hand over my damn soul. It seems easier than her looking at me like that. I wish her luck of sorting through my thoughts. Maybe she'll put them in order before she leaves and I can figure out what I'm thinking.

"Why are you hiding in the gardens, child?" Celeborn asks.

I hold up my book. "All I want to is read this damn book. I started it this morning, and I'm still on the first page. I'm still on the first paragraph. First it was Faramir, panicking over Eowyn's ring not being ready, and then it was Denethor, mutterin about...something unpleasant, and it just went downhill from there." I gesture back to where Althea was. "As you can see." I roll my eyes. "Breakfast wasn't even funny. The Hobbits were happy, but Aragorn was wrapped up in some kingdom thing and Legolas was snarling at everybody."

Galadriel smiles mysteriously. "And you haven't been able to concentrate."

I make face. Celeborn taps my forehead. "Stop that. You're going to break your stitches."

Galadriel laughs again. "Peace, child. Everything will work out in the end."

"Do you ever understand her?"

"Me?" Celeborn asks. "Surely you jest. I'm her husband."

At least that leaves me laughing.

111

Why do I get the feeling it aint' just me? Everybody has up and disappeared since this morning. The only people I've seen were Gimli and Thranduil. Playing chess, disturbingly enough. And getting along, which just furthers my opinion that the world has turned upside down.

It's a relief when I finally find Legolas, which is scary, but I've gotta assume that somebody in this place is sane. And Legolas doesn't go all unstable like my brothers, as much as I love them.

I touch his shoulder, and his spins, looking nearly ready to bite my head off. "What?" he snaps. He looks at me for a second, then squeezes his eyes shut. "My apologies, my Lady."

OK, that's it. I have had ENOUGH of this my Lady crap. It's bad enough when fucking strangers bow to me in the halls, and address me as 'my Lady' when I walk into a room. I liked it better when they gave me weird looks and steered clear because they didn't know who I was. THIS is so much worse than being asked who gave me knives and sent me out into the unsuspecting populace.

"Has everybody suddenly forgotten my name?" I demand. "I mean, it's not like it's a hard name to remember. Kay-li. See? Short and simple."

He shrugs and turns away from me. "You should get used to it, Kayli. You're nobility now, remember?"

I blow my hair out of my eyes. I need to get out of here before I explode. By God, if I go, I'm taking somebody down with me, and the Elf is unfortunately close. His father scares me, so, no go. I shake my head and turn to walk away. "Will somebody come and find me when everybody's stopped being insane?" I mutter, and storm off.

Gimli and Thranduil look up as I slam back into the hall.

"Oh, Valar. Not another one," Thranduil mutters, and pours himself another glass of wine. A big one. All the way to the top.

"Have ye gone mad like the rest of 'em, lass?" Gimli asks, downing most of his ale.

"It's contagious," I mutter, and flop into a chair. Iariel's going to give me hell about wrinkling my dress. "You get without five feet of anybody in this fucking place, and the next thing you know, BAM! You're nuts. Loony. Certi-freaking-fiable."

Thranduil blinks at me for a second, then looks at Gimli. "What on Arda did she just say?"

"Everybody's insane and it's contagious," Gimli translates.

"Ah."

"It's bad," I confirm. "The Hobbits are still unaffected, but they're all with Frodo. Best to limit contact, I think. In fact, you two are probably the only ones not sniping at each other, which is scary. Even Legolas is crazy, and he's usually the only sane one."

Gimli and Thranduil look at each other and start to laugh.

I take it back. They're nuts too.

I shake my head and get up. "Excuse me, my Lords, I'm going to the stables. I need some fresh air and sanity."

111

Twenty minutes later finds me sitting on the paddock fence feeding Hershey an apple, and all my hairpins somewhere in the grass. Iariel's gonna give me hell about losing them. In fact, I think I can look forward to a good twenty-minute lecture.

The Fellowship ain't the only people who are cranky.

"My Lady?"

I resist the urge to beat my head against the fence. I'd probably fall off.

I turn my head enough to gauge who's behind me. It sounds suspiciously like Althea, and yeah, that's a person I need to see.

Whew, it's her sister. Edana. Pretty girl, maybe not that bright, but at least she's not a flipping viper like her sister. Unfortunately, she's head over heels for Boromir. Why, I'm sure we'll never know. Apparently her and Althea decided to keep it all in the family. "Yeah?"

Edana winces a bit at my tone, and I'm immediately sorry. I'm not going to say so, but I do feel a little bad. "I'm sorry to disturb you, my Lady, you just seemed..." She shrugs. "A bit lonely, perhaps."

I shrug. Am I lonely? I stop and consider, and decide I am a little, yeah. It's kinda hard getting used to being alone for the better part of a day, when you've spent a year sorrounded on all sides by some kind of people. Orcs, usually, but at least them I'm allowed to kill when they piss me off. "A little," I tell her. "It's hard to find company, though, since everybody's gone gonzo." Off her frown, I clarify. "Insane."

She smiles, a little, and it's in the smile you can tell the difference between her and Althea. Althea's smles are calculated towards specific aims. Seduction, contempt, charm, cold politeness. Edana's smiles are never calculated, but spontaneous, actual expressions. She's a sucky politician, but she's a gazillion times more likeable than her sister. She steps up next to me and lays her arms on the fence, reaching out a hand to stroke Hershey's mane. "Such a lovely creature," she murmurs. "I wish I could ride."

That makes me frown. "Why can't you?"

Edana makes a rude noise. "It's not...ladylike."

I laugh so hard I nearly fall off the fence. "Oh, that's PERFECT. I love it. I love it!"

She frowns, then a smile spreads across her face. It's a hard-edged smile. Here is someone who wouldn't mind giving the system a nice kick in the ass. "Could you teach me?"

I look over her green velvet gown. "Not in that. You'll need to change."

TBC...

Catherine Maria -- You are seriously one of the coolest people I have ever met...er, sort of met. Whatever. You rock, so much. You need to stop reading these at work before they have you committed! And don't worry about being MIA -- so was I, for way too long. I'd missed Kayli. As for the Legolas thing, I'm still not too sure, but I'll do what I can! Also, don't worry, I really don't think Kayli's going anywhere! By the way, welcome to Gondor, Edana.

Sylvia Viridian -- Hmmm, is that a 'yes' to my reader poll? Heh. As for Legolas, I think we all know how thick is skull is. Wow, that's the first time anyone's ever told me my Thranduil is good. Thanks! You are so far beyond awesome it's impossible!

Andrew Joshua Talon -- I don't think Professor Tolkien would like Kayli very much, but I do like to think he'd appreciate that I'm trying to make sure the spirit's still there. As for me, riding into battle... Uh-uh. I think I'd be hiding in the deepest hole I could find. And, by the way, you are very sincerely awesome. Thank you, hugely!

Becca -- Don't worry, it wasn't the first time I've been called evil! Thank you ever, ever so much. BTW, what was your view on my little reader poll?

yuhi -- You're awesome. Thank you so much. And don't worry, I think there'll be a few more chaps for you!

Laer4572 -- Hmm, you make several good points. But I really don't think Kayli is gonna go anywhere. That's THREE votes she gets the Elf. Thank you so much. You rock. Hugely.

Elven Mischief -- Boromir seems to be getting more review-love than usual, lately, but I think he deserves it (too many writers make him a bastard, don't you think?) Thanks so much!

Red Queen Kai -- I don't remember either, but it's always something I like to hear again. Sorry I took so long (RL SUCKS! BK SUCKS!) Thanks muchly!

CHEESECAKE: I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you!

Nevaer Lalaith -- Happens to the best of us. Very obscure review, thank you. Happy reading!

essence of popsicles -- Family is the most important thing in the world. Guess the Hobbits know that, huh? Thanks!

Aurien -- Here they are! Thank you!

Red-Devil15 -- Thanks! And y'all gotta stop reading when you're not supposed to be on the computer! It's ok, rules are made to be broken. You rock, hugely!

Rede -- Thank you! I like being gutsy.

Kat Hawkins -- Thanks. I'll work on it, maybe something with Galadriel. I'm working on FoTR Modified, but the Elf and some of his closest friends seem to have vanished. If you see three Elves, two Kings, a Steward, a Med-Jai, and an ER doctor wandering, please return them to my set. Thank you.

poolbum -- Oooh, a happy dance! Thank you!

A Smith -- Thanks!

a halfblood princess & Summer -- It's continuing! Thanks!

elrohir lover -- Thanks!

ArcherofDarkness -- Thanks. I think. Happy reading!

Jade Elf -- Thanks! You're awesome!

BtchieChrissy -- Thanks!

Iamaredhead -- Thank you for staying up late for my tale. You rock!

Redone -- More Thranduil. Isn't he awesome? Thanks!

Whew, I think that's everybody. You are all incredibly awesome. If I missed someone, I'm very sorry, and you're awesome too. Thanks!

Reader poll -- Three votes to get the Elf. No votes against. Still open.