Title: Past.

Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I do not own the song Crawling or any Linkin park members...and I don't own Beyblade either, but I will someday!!!!

Kai: shut up
Chester: Yes shut up and get on with it!

Fine!

A/n: Ya know, since I haven't had reviews for donkeys years I'm gonna continue with the fic...oh and Raven big hugs I was glad to get a review from you...again

"Dad?" these were the only words that I could say, my mouth felt more dried up than anything else. The man I thought was dead...is on the fucking news!

He's a live! He's been alive all this time...

Why hasn't he contacted me? Why hasn't he even sent a damn letter? How the hell is he still alive!?

He should be dead! He is dead...I must be dreaming...

Crawling in my skin, these wounds, they will, not heal, fear is how I fall, confusing what is real

It must just be a look-alike...my dad is dead, that bastard has no right looking like him. It's an imposter! I saw my dad die when I was four, no one has the right to have the same colour hair as my dad, or the same facial structure, or the same goddamn eyes.

I know the others are staring at me, Tyson keeps asking me who that man is, why can't I answer? Why can't I just tell him to turn it over!? Why can't I tell Max to quit asking me if it's ok? I just want to turn to the blonde kid and tell him to fuck off, but my throat remains sealed up. I look to the side of me and see Rei touching my arm, looking at me with his beautiful golden eyes, that's when my throat unseals, only at that point. "I'm ok Rei...really" I have to lie, if I tell him the truth...he'll only worry.

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, , this lack of self-control I fear is never ending, controlling/I can't seem...

I can't seem to allow Rei any moment of misery, or any emotion other than happy, that's how he should be, happy with a smile on his face. I slowly turn my attention back to the man of TV, talking to people about something he'd done, I can't be bothered to listen to his words, there's no point, this man isn't my dad...so why am I still here fucking watching the damn TV!?

I'm not related to this bastard, if my dad was alive, he's have contacted me, but nope, this guy can't be my dad, my dad shot himself in the head when I was a bloody kid! So he is dead, therefore, this guy, this big headed guy can't be my dad.

So I can just turn away and go into my room, come on feet, work!

There, I'm walking towards the kitchen, leaving the worried faces of my teammates once more, but this time, Rei follows me.

"Kai?" his voice trying to hide his concern as I pour myself a glass of cola.
"What?" I ask, swallowing my harsh tone, along with my cold drink.
"Is that man your father?" he asks, then I don't know what happened, I slammed the glass on the kitchen counter, it smashing in my hands, "HE'S NOT MY DAD! MY DAD COMITTED FUCKING SUCICDE WHEN I WAS FOR SO NO THAT MAN IS OF NO REALATION TO ME!"

Insecurity taking over me as I scream those words at Rei, seeing his eyes widen at my tone.

To find myself again, my walls are closing in, without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take, I've felt this way before, so insecure

I haven't felt so unsure of what I was saying for a long time, what if this person...really is my father...that would mean that he hasn't tried to contact me in all of the years I was growing up.

NO! My dad would've tried to keep in touch, he wouldn't have lost both his wife and his son...no father would want that. NO, I've got to keep sure. Fucking hell this is driving me insane, Rei's backed away from me, as if I'm some kind of insane head case...

I am acting like one after all. What else is he supposed to think about me? I take a few calming breaths and apologize.

"Kai...tell me what's going on"
"Nothing is Rei, I swear, I'm just a little tense, that man looked like my dad"
"Kai..."
"NO Rei, look just shut up!" I snap, afraid of what he was going to say, he was going to tell me that the man talking on the news is my father. But it's not true, no way on earth could it be true...

My dad died...that image has scarred me for my whole bloody life, it has to be what happened...it just has to me.

Crawling in my skin, these wounds, they will, not heal, fear is how I fall, confusing what is real.

I walk out of the kitchen, storming past him and into the bathroom, locking the door and leaning against it, the mirror is directly opposite me, but, I can't see it, it just a window in my mind, slowly step up to it and look out, seeing the scene from all my nightmares. I seem to zoom in on my fathers face as he picks up the gun, holding it to his head, that's when the memory fades, just leaving his face...I gently reach out to touch the image, but only feel the cold glass that should be there, then I find myself, just staring at my reflection. I back away and sit on the edge of the cold bath. Damn everything is so cold in here, it doesn't exactly help my mood.

I close my eyes, trying to gather my thoughts. Why can I just let this pass...well that's a bit obvious...this man might be the man I thought was killed, years ago...What the hell would go through anyone's mind at this point in their life?

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me, distracting...reacting. Against my will I stand beside my own reflection, it's haunting how I can't seem...
To find myself again, my walls are closing in, without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take, I've felt this way before, so insecure...

OK! I've had enough, this has got to stop. I'm bigger than this! I have better control over myself than this, I haven't let anything else get this far under my skin for ages! I walk back into my room, grabbing a bag down from my cupboard. I'm going to find out, once and for all who this man is, and if he is my father.

I should tell Rei, Tyson and Max where I'm going...but they'd only ask questions, so screw them. I start to head for the door when I feel a hand touch my shoulder,

"I'm going with you"

I smile slightly and nod, he didn't ask questions...he never does. He always accepts that I need to do something and he stays by my side. That's why I love him.

He doesn't seem to scare about these scars that go deeper than skin, he just kisses them better and keeps me alive.

Crawling in my skin, these wounds, they will, not heal, fear is how I fall, confusing what is real

"Come on Kai...let's go" Rei's gentle voice says as he takes me by the hand and pulls me out of the door and towards the bus outside. He's too prepared for stuff like this.

As we get on the bus, can't help but wonder, is this trip a good thing...or a bad thing?
So what didya think? Good? Shit? Or is anyone even gonna bother reading again eh?

REVIEW DAMN U!!!!

Phoenix147