"Hey Allison! I saw the show Friday night and it was great!" Jenny whispered excitedly to me at the end of cheerleading practice early the following Monday morning. It was really early but in order to have cheerleading practice around my marching band practices, sometimes we had to get together before school. The two of us were now standing in front of the mirror in the girls' locker room with our school clothes on, putting on our make-up.

"Oh you got to see it?" I asked her. The cheerleaders didn't always get to see the show because they were too busy waving to the football team as they went into the locker room.

"Like I've ever missed a show," she said sarcastically while running a brush through her hair. "Jake's going out with Leah now by the way. I totally love you for telling him off like that. We all saw the whole thing. Oh and have you decided what you are going to do about Bands of America?"

"Wow! Jenny! One thing at a time! I have no clue what I'm doing about Bands of America. And you guys saw that?! Oh god."

"You have to make a decision fast," Jenny pointed out ignoring the topic of Jake. "The longer you wait the more you'll hurt the group you quit. However, I think you've already made your decision.... That's all I'm gonna say."

I looked at her puzzled for a minute as she left the locker room on her way to first period. I had no clue what she was talking about. I checked my hair one last time and then headed out into the school on my way to Algebra. On the way I was thinking so hard about what Jenny could have meant that I ran right into someone.

"Oh sorry," I said helping the browned haired girl pick up her books.

"It's okay Alli. Oh by the way, word on the streets says you've got a cheering competition on October 9th. And Palmer found out so be careful," the girl responded.

"Lily!" I said as we stood up and I was able to get a better look at her. "I already told Ryan and he hates me."

"Oh Lordy, you'll figure it out, you always do," my section leader said mysteriously before leaving for her first period.

"Oh and sleep this week! Big competition Saturday!" she called over her shoulder.

I stood there very confused. Two people seemed to be convinced that had everything figured out and that whatever decision I had made was the best one. However, that could not have been farther from the truth. I sat in Algebra trying to take notes, but my mind was so full of thoughts that I gave up about a half hour into class. As I considered the pros and cons of choosing either activity, I started drawing the words "Paris Sketches" in my notebook where I was suppose to be working the 23rd problem on page 45. It was then that I started to daydream. As I did, something Mr. Kester said started to come back to me. It was something about show and its sets. Something about how the show was supposed to be performed.

"It's not about the sets. It's about the movement between the sets."

That was it. But how was that relevant? Sets.... Sets... Sets in the show were goal points or places that you wanted to reach. The movements were how one reached that destination. In real life sets were similar to competitions and games. The movements were the practices and the drama that took place within the walls of the band room that had turned us into the successful and emotionally close band that we were. That was it! Life was just one big emotional field show. I just happened to be marching to two different beats at the same time. Life was so cruel. Now all I had to do was figure out which one I wanted to do more.

SATURDAY

Word about my procrastination on making a commitment to either one of my activities got around. No one except my close band friends and Jenny actually talked to me about, but I could tell people were discussing my loyalty behind my back. Leah went out of her way to stop me in the hallway and remind me about cheerleading practice. She often reminded me so loudly that everyone in the hallway would know that I was still on the squad. I wasn't sure why my being a cheerleader was so important to her. Sean thought it was because of what I had done to Jake. His theory was Leah thought if I choose band I would tell everyone about what happened and that could do some serious damage to both Leah's and Jake's reputation. That could be true but the last thing I wanted people to know about was that I had swapped spit with the rude quarterback.

In addition to the cheerleaders, the rest of the band had lost all respect for me because I was actually considering cheering over them. The sparkle in Andrew's eyes had faded because I had always been his number one fan next to Lily. Ryan was the worst of them all. At least everyone else in the band would still talk to me or wave to me in the hall. Ryan, however, wouldn't even look at me. Sometimes in the hall he would rush off in a different direction to avoid walking past me. My friends stood by me but I could tell how disappointed they were. Lily was the only one who seemed to think everything would be alright. Despite the lack of spirit in the band, the worst was yet to come.

The bus ride to Saturday's competition was stone silent. I was beginning to think that I liked marching better when we were losing everything. At least then we were happy. When we arrived at George Washington High the sections stood in small warm up circles to tune. There was still an empty silence in the air. I wasn't exactly sure how 220 people could be affected by the decision I had yet to make so when Lily finished tuning us, I confronted her.

"Allison," she started slowly, "everything at Frost is amazing. Everything, except the marching band. Then we start to get good at it and you want to dump in for something that has already established itself as and awarding winning activity. It just takes away from the whole "team" thing."

"But you're not upset with me," I pointed out

"I've always believed you would make the right decision. You always do." She said for the second time that week and then left me alone with me thoughts.

Although, this time I was not able to sit and mull over what she had said because in next to no time we were in our starting position and Andrew had raised his hands to begin the show, the last performance of the night. Seven minutes and 23 seconds later our show was over.

It was an average performance. We had not knocked everyone's socks off nor did we stink. No one said anything about it. The performance had been as deathly boring as the silence during our warm-up. We all lined up in the stands to await the awards. Twenty minutes later, the announcer started to give out awards to the three bands in our division.

"And finally we will conclude our ceremony with the 4A division scores. In third place with a score of 84.6 Frost High School."

There was a polite applause from the crowd. Frost just sat there soaking up that fact that we had lost. Again. But this time it was different. It wasn't the happy go lucky band that showed up, had fun, did the best they could, and left with the last place trophy still smiling. This time we had not done our best. More importantly, we didn't have fun. After George Washington took every award (except for best drumline, which went to Franklin High School) as well as the Grand Championship, we marched out. We used to march in and out of various events perfectly in step, with our heads held high, showing our pride for what we did. This time the pride was gone. The GW drum major saluted us on the way out, but Andrew made a quick hand gesture for him to stop.

"Once a loser band, always a loser band," commented a marcher from Franklin. The comment was completely uncalled for. But in our hearts, we all knew it was true.

The spirit of the band was gone. And it was all my fault.

AN: Yes, sad chapter I know. I was having a writer's block. It will get happier though, I promise!! Oh and a reviewer asked what a shako was. It is a term a lot of marchers use for the bucket hats we wear while marching. Ours say "shakomaker" on the inside. It's kinda like calling the shoes Dinkles or Drillmasters. AnywayZ hope you all enjoyed this one! Please R&R! xoxo