Hi! This is awesome, humor fics garner waaaay more reviews than any other kind! And they're all good. It makes me feel all warm and toasty inside. In a good way.

Danica Enjolras: And I'm in love with your name already! Enjolras is my favorite LesMis character. Wonderful, my list of contestants is growing. I think I really will have to write them in my little white spiral, which, incidentally, is full of Phantom inspired poetry that I've been considering posting in What do you think?

JessicaDwyer: And you shall have it. (titters along with you) I know, I was very proud of the pizza scene.

SummerSong: Heheh. I wasn't exactly sure what to have him order. I considered coffee, being French and all, but in all my years flying, I still don't know if you can order hot tea or coffee on a plane, or I'd have been getting said hot tea for years. I like that crazy straw idea, though. (pictures Erik sipping his tea through the swirly straw) Hahahaha!

Lazy.kender19: Oh, good, you gave me your description. No one else did. That's always helpful. (Hint hint – anyone who volunteered but didn't offer a short description would receive a cyberhug if they did.) I'll keep him from Punjabing you. And actually, the first time I heard Erik's Don Juan (right before I Remember), it did kind of creep me out. Still does if I'm not expecting it to start playing.

Lonegungirl88: Yup, sure thing. Oh, and I'm a huge Orli fan. Just for the record, though, he's actually got black hair. The blond was a wig.

I like to answer my reviewers individually because it always makes me feel good when someone does it to me. It's cool to see

Aislin of the Shadows: Blah blah blah blah.

Not literally, of course. Now that that's over, on to the new chapter!

…………………………………….

Erik woke with a great headache and sore body, due to a bit of jet lag. He rolled over in bed, finding how much more comfortable it was than his coffin back home. But then, coffins weren't built for comfort. It's not like their occupants are going to complain.

At long last he opened his eyes, ready to get up and get dressed.

He was met by the sleeping face of Aislin, lying peacefully next to him. In his bed.

He screamed.

Aislin was jolted roughly awake. "I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH RAOUL!" Erik, more horrified than he'd been in years, shoved her out of the bed, onto the floor, where she landed with a thud.

She looked back up at him. He reflexively covered his face, groping on the bedside table for his mask. Fixing it in place, he glared at her, as she sighed happily. "Oh, it's you, Erik. I was having the most horrible nightmare…"

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN MY BED?!" He looked kind of scary – moreso than usual – with fire in his eyes, his hair all messed up, and the tuxedo he'd fallen asleep in rumpled and falling off one shoulder.

Aislin looked at him. "I was cold. You were in your bed, and it was warmer. I didn't want to wake you up."

"Ugh…I need a shower…"

Disgusted, Erik took an unwrinkled tux into the bathroom to bathe and change. The hot water felt good against his face, although he thought there might be something wrong with the plumbing. All through his shower, he heard odd scraping and thumping noises, as if the room was about to come crashing down around his ears. Unnerved by this, he cut his shower short and dressed. Strangely, the noises continued after the water had been turned off.

With his cloak in place at last, he stepped out of the bathroom. He saw Aislin with her back against the door of the room, pushing with all her might. The scraping and thumping noises were coming from the hallway, along with occasional giggles and girlish screams.

"Someone leaked the information to the Internet or something!" The girls behind the door took up a loud chant.

"Erik! Erik! Erik! Erik! Erik! Erik!"

People in nearby rooms began to join the noise, shouting for quiet, ten o'clock was too early to wake up.

"ERIK! ERIK! ERIK! ERIK! ERIK! ERIK!"

Aislin hollered over the din without opening the door.

"GO AWAY! ONLY ONE OF YOU IS GOING TO SEE HIM TODAY! GO WAIT IN THE LOBBY OR THE CONTEST IS CANCELED! I'M NOT KIDDING!"

Grumbling and kicking the door in scorn and disappointment, the crowd of phangirls eventually dissipated. After five minutes, Aislin carefully opened the door a crack, with the chain on. Only one girl waited hopefully outside.

"Who are you?"

"My name's Hilary, and I just want to see him for a mom –"

"You can see him on your date, we'll get to you eventually. Now go away. We'll get to all of you soon enough."

"That's not soon enough!" But Aislin snapped the door in poor Hilary's pleading face.

She then turned to Erik, quite drained. "Now do you see how popular you are?" He nodded dumbly. "Anyway, your first date is in half an hour with…Kat Solis. She'll be waiting for you downstairs in the lobby, at a table in that restaurant."

"Which one? There were two."

"You'll know. Considering you wear nothing but that tux, I figure you're ready, so you ought to get going now. All expenses paid by the contest people."

"Now? But I have half an hour!" But Aislin was already pushing him to the door. However, she went out into the hallway first, where Hilary sat by the wall, rocking back and forth, singing to herself.

"And do I dream again…For now I find…The Phantom of the Opera!" She spotted Erik and leapt to her feet, but at Aislin's evil glare, she slunk down the hall to the elevators. "I was…just leaving."

When poor Hilary was out of sight, Aislin pushed Erik to the elevators as well. "Try to keep your temper, and have a good time!"

"Are you kidding?" But before he knew what was happening, he was in the elevator, and Aislin's waving face disappeared as the door closed.

He rode down twelve floors, standing awkwardly with two girls in towels and swimsuits who had gotten on on the tenth floor and rode down to the fifth – the pool level. He'd have to be sure to check out the pool. He didn't have any time at all back home to enjoy the sun. But meanwhile, he avoided looking at their bikinis, while they stared at his mask.

He warily exited on the first floor, but the hoards of phangirls seemed to have disappeared for the day. Now, why did Aislin say that he'd know which restaurant he was supposed to go to?

The visible half of his face turned very red when he found out why. In the restaurant to his left, he saw a girl slightly younger than Aislin was standing on a chair waving a sign in the air. He had virtually no choice but to skulk over to her, waving her "OPERA GHOST" poster.

Happily she hopped off the chair and offered him her hand. "I'm Kat."

"Right." Erik briefly shook her hand. "What are we doing now?"

"Well, Aislin – being the contest coordinator (A/N: And the authoress…), she picks the places for our dates. Your dates. And apparently she wanted to go easy on you the first day, so we're just having breakfast in the hotel restaurant." Erik sighed and sat down.

He wondered for a minute why Kat was still standing, before he realized that she wanted an actual date. Grudgingly, he got up and pulled her chair out for her, appearing a real gentleman based on his clothes, though his expression proved otherwise.

Kat ordered pancakes, and Erik inquired after crêpes. He didn't get out much back home, and a good French dish sounded appealing. But, being in LA, there were none available, so he opted for eggs. Something he was used to. He was already sick of his first food choices never being available.

It didn't start off well. Kat was a phangirl of a different sort. She wasn't content to just sit and worship him while lost in a world of dreams, like Aislin. She wanted to touch his cloak, his mask (which he was sure to keep on, so he had to lean over the table), his tux, him. That was where he drew the line.

Then she tried to ask him endless questions. "What's it like living under the Opera? Is Raoul really a fop? Of course he is. Is Christine horrible? Was it fun dropping the chandelier? Is it hard rowing the boat to your house? How big is the lake? Do you ever swim in it? Did anyone ever perform your opera? Will you sing me something?"

Erik tried to answer all her questions as best he could, but he flat out refused to sing her something in the middle of the restaurant. It was more of an indoor café, so he'd be singing for all the lobby to hear. Not that that was a bad thing, he just wasn't in the mood.

Kat pressed him. "Come on, just one song. Music of the Night?"

"No."

"Angel of Music?"

"Technically I'm not even in that one."

"The Mirror, then."

"No."

"Sing the title song with me then?"

"No."

"At least do that scene where Christine pulls your mask off. Damn you!" Erik jumped up, startled, before he realized that she was performing the scene herself. "You little prying Pandora! You little demon…" As if struck by a sudden idea, she abruptly reached across the table to pull off his mask herself. Erik jerked away, but just a moment too late. Kat barely pulled it, and the porcelain shattered on the floor.

And that, my friends, is why you pack spare masks.

Shocked, Kat stared at the shards before going to pick up a few to keep as souvenirs. Meanwhile, poor Erik stood stock-still desperately covering his face. The fuss Kat had caused with her singing meant that now every person on this level of the hotel had turned to see what was going on, and every curious face wanted to see what Erik had to hide. He had had enough of this one. He turned to stalk back to the elevators.

Kat ran after him, her pockets clinking with porcelain pieces. "Wait, we're not done here."

"Yes, we are!" Erik's voice was muffled. He pushed her out of the way and kept walking. He heard her shouting angrily behind him, and he didn't listen. That is, until something hard hit him at the base of his neck.

"OW! What was…?" He stared confusedly at a whole potato lying on the floor. "Did you just throw a POTATO at me?!"

"Yes!" Kat did not look happy. Her reddish hair was thrown all in front of her face.

"Where did it come from?" Erik knew it would leave a mark, but he was wondering more why a potato had been her choice of weapon.

And when she emptied her bag all over the floor, and ten or twelve potatoes rolled over the floor, Erik high-tailed it to the elevator before she could hurl any more.

……………………………..

Well, that was a nice long chapter. Heheh. Read and review!