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Mondler4ever8- you have to wait and see what happens! Stop trying to get it out of me :P Hehehe!

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Thinking Back

"Chandler?" Joey called out as he walked into the apartment, minutes after Chandler had stormed out of the Girls' place.

"Yeah?" He heard the weak reply from his best friend who was sat in one of the Barcaloungers.

"Are you okay?"

"Excellent…" Chandler said sarcastically.

"Look, Ross was out of line…"

"No, he wasn't…" Chandler sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"What?"

"I can't blame them for not wanting to go to a funeral when they hated the guy."

"No, Chandler its wasn't just that…" Joey told him. "Some of the stuff he said…"

"Look, Joe it doesn't matter okay?"

"Chandler, I've never seen you shout or so worked up before…" Joey frowned. "Why have you suddenly had change of feelings?"

"I haven't had a change of feelings." Chandler informed him. "I've just had enough of everyone fighting…of people having to take sides."

"Well, okay…" Joey wasn't exactly sure what Chandler meant. "You going to come back over?"

"Nah, I'm going sort some things out…" Chandler told him. "I've decided leave a little earlier then planned."

"What? Why?" Joey demanded. "You said the funeral isn't for another 3 days."

"I know but I can't stay here, Joe…" Chandler ran his fingers through his hair.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know what to do…" He admitted. "I don't know how to handle it…"

"That's what we're here for!"

"I know and I'm grateful but how can Mon, Pheebs and Ross be here for me when they hated him?"

"What about me and Rach?"

"You didn't know him." Chandler told him. "I think I need to be around people who knew him…Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I think it does." Joey nodded. "So when you coming back then?"

"I dunno…" Chandler looked down.

"You don't know?"

"Joe, this is so hard!" He glanced up at him quickly before looking away again. "No one I've been close to has died before…I don't know how to act…what to do…"

"And you think staying down there is going to help?"

"I don't know but it was were I grew up," Chandler explained. "It's where me and Kip both grew up. There's people who knew us there."

"Okay…" Joey sighed, knowing there was nothing he could say or do to change his mind. "But you are coming back, right?"

"Yeah." Chandler assured him. "Just after I've caught up with some old friends."

XxXxX

"Hey, how's Chandler?" Monica asked when Joey returned later.

"I think he's slowly falling apart…" Joey told them, he glanced at Ross. "Man, you gotta talk to him."

"Why should I make the first move?" Ross scowled.

"Look, Ross…he's a mess over there." Joey said. "He needs someone to talk to."

"You talk to him, then!"

"I've tried but I never knew Kip…I don't know what to say."

"Yeah, you think he's going to wanna hear what I say?"

"Why can't you just forget about it all?!" Joey snapped. "I thought Chandler was your best friend."

"He is!" Ross shot back. "But if I go over there now, I'm just going to make matter worse."

"Alright, fine but at least go to the funeral with him…" Joey suggested. "I mean, I know you didn't like him and all but isn't that funerals are about? Moving on, saying goodbye and stuff?"

"Look, Joe…I can't go." Ross sighed.

"Please, Ross!" Joey begged. "Just go."

"Why?"

"Because I'm worried that if he goes on his own, he's not going to come back…"

"What?" Phoebe asked. "That's crazy!"

"Yeah, his life is here!" Monica added.

"What life?" Joey questioned. "I mean, he's not seeing anyone…he hates his job….we've all he's got."

"Chandler's not going to leave us!" Rachel stated.

"He's going back to where he grew to see all his old friends…what if he realises he could have a better life there?" Joey asked.

"But Chandler's happy here!" Ross told him.

"Is he?" Joey turned to him. "Because he seemed to be quite depressed these last couple of months."

"He would have said something to one of us!" Monica insisted.

"Look, I just don't want to lose him."

"You're not going to lose him!" Ross sighed. "He's going to go the funeral, say goodbye and then come back and get on with his life."

"I hope so…" Joey mumbled, still concerned, he's friends hadn't done much to convince him that Chandler would be okay.

XxXxX

Monica began to clear the dishes away when everyone had left, deep in thoughts. Thinking about everything Chandler had said. Him feeling left out when Kip and her got together. Kip never actually cheating on her. Chandler losing his best friend because none of them would listen to him or Kip.

She was sure Kip had been unfaithful because she thought their relationship was going great and then one day he turned up and broke up with her. Her mind wondered back to the day, 5 years ago.

1991

"Hey, sweetie…" Monica greeted Kip as he walked through the door, putting her arms around his neck, leaning up for a kiss.

"Mon, we need to talk…" He told her quietly, gently pushing her away.

"Is everything okay?" She frowned in concern as she followed him over to the couch.


"I think it might be best if we break up…" Kip looked down at his hands.

"What?! Why?"

"I don't think we have a future," he explained. "Its not fair on you if we continue this."


"But I love you." Her eyes filled with tears as she wait for his answer but he just hung his head silently. "Do you love me?"

"I'm sorry, Monica…" Kip looked up at her, tears in his own eyes. "I really care about you and I thought I could love you but…"

"There's someone else, isn't there?" She cut him off, it was more a statement then a question.

"Sort of…"

"You jerk!" She cried, pushed him away from her as she stood up.


"Mon, let me explain…me and Sarah…"

"I don't care!" She yelled. "Just get out!"

"Mon, please…"

"Go!"


Kip sighed in defeat and slowly walked towards the door. "For what its worth, I am sorry."

"Just get out." She wrapped her arms around her own body as her eyes stayed on the floor; tears silently running down her face.

She curled up on the couch, crying for what seemed like hours. She didn't even move or look up when she heard the door open and close silently. Somehow, she already knew who it was.

"I'm sorry…" Chandler whispered as he fell into his arms.

"I love him."

"I know." Chandler kissed her hair comfortingly.

"Its not fair…" She cried harder and clung onto her best friend. "How could he do that to me?"

"Isn't it better to end it now instead of when its too late?" Chandler asked softly. "Before anything happened?"

"It already happened!" She told him. "He already cheated on me!"

"What?" Chandler said in disbelief. He knew his friend was going to end things with her and he knew Kip had feeling for Sarah but he didn't think there was anything going on between them. "Are you sure?"

"He admitted it." She sniffed. "What did I do, to deserve that?"

"Mon, you did nothing wrong, okay?" He reassured her. He didn't know what was going on but he determined to find out the truth. "These things just happen."

They sat holding each other for the rest of the night, neither of them needing to talk.

Monica sighed, realising that Kip never actually admitted that he was cheating on her and he had tried to explain something but she wouldn't let him.

She glanced at the door and thought about what Joey had said about Chandler being unhappy with his life and there was a chance he would leave and not come back. She couldn't loose him, he was her best friend.

She quickly dried her hands off and picked up the phone.

"Hi, it's Monica Geller, I'm just ringing to let you know I won't be in work for the next couple days…" She spoke into the receiver. "Yeah, an old friend has just died, I have to go to his funeral…."

TBC

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