Sword-chan- Hello, person! XP I'll reply to reviews at the end. That is, if I've gotten any. :: has started the chapter after posting the first ::
Kishuu- And it's gonna be…?
Sword-chan- Brier Rose, which is the German version of Sleeping Beauty, or maybe it IS Sleeping Beauty, except… there aren't any fairies. It's thirteen old women, but one can't be invited and, the mother of the prince does not eat children and a lot of other stuff… yeah. So I'm taking the tallest characters for the king and queen- Zakuro and Pai. I don't like that pairing, but they're both tall. So nyer… This chapter is going to be as humorous as I can make it without my intimate sense taking over… :: romantic sigh ::
DISCLAIMER- I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew OR Brier Rose. I own a copy of the zillionth addition of the book that the Grimm Brothers put it in… So you're an idiot to sue me. And I have no money to sue for. At all. And my Dad knows people. So nyer nyer nyer.
Zakuro- Oh, I hate doing this… :: turns to Pai :: We have no children, yet we desperatly want one, and I desperatly do NOT want to bang you.
Pai- :: nods solemly while trying not to gag ::
Masha- :: appears out of absolutley NO WHERE, painted green for frog effect :: I SHALL GIVE YOU A CHILD!! :: vanishes in puff of smoke ::
6 months later, Zakuro gave birth to a child…
Royal Doctor (Masaya)- IT'S A B-- :: checks :: YUP IT'S A BOY!! :D
Zakuro- :: whisper :: Why do we always have idiotic doctors and such?
Pai- O.O;; Masaya's the only idiot here… You're insulting the doctors.
Masaya- And such!! :D
Sword-chan- :: randomly pops in in burnt kimono from other ficcys :: I bet you're wondering- Isn't Brier Rose about a girl? To bad. :: twitch ::
Zakuro- DAMNIT!
Pai- What?
Zakuro- We have knives right here! I should've killed her when I had the chance!
Everyone in room- :: edges away from Zakuro slowly ::
Masaya- OOH! SHARP, POINTY, SHINY OBJECTS! :: looks at knife and cuts finger while doing so ::
Nurse (Taruto… Pffft)- WHY AM I IN DRAG?!?
Sword-chan- :: is not there, but you can hear her voice :: Because you have pig-tails… whoo—Hey, where's my echo effect? I DEMAND AN ECHO EFFECT! Let's try it again… :: echoes :: Because (because) you have (you have) pig-tails… (pigtails). WHOO!
Masaya- OHEMGEE! WHO'S THERE? :: looks at fingers :: Was it YOUS?! AHA! :: points down :: It was my—
Taruto- AH! I AIN'T LISTENING!!
Masaya- … feets?
Taruto- :: sigh of relief ::
And so, they celebrated their childs birthday…
Pai- Oh my. We have an error…
Zakuro- u.u What?
Pai- We only have one dozen gold plates, and one dozen and ONE Magical Women (o.O;;) are coming.
Zakuro- u.u Simple- Dixie paper plates works wonders.
Pai- Fairy tale rules…
Zakuro- … Then don't invite one, you dunce.
Pai- DARE CALL ME- AN ALIEN WITH AN I.Q OF LIKE, 20 MILLION- A DUNCE?
Zakuro- Yes. :: goes off to beat up dummy of Pai ::
At teh parteh…
Woman 1- I give you the gift of… urm, I think it was goodness…
Woman 2- I give you… beauty? Yeah, we'll go with that… Isn't it a he? Oh well. Beauty, anyways.
Woman 3- INTELLIGENCE! Un-like some people… :: stares at hunter/doctor/caterer Masaya ::
Masaya- :: stitcks shish-ca-bob in his ear ::
Since the book didn't list all of them, I'm gonna give you gag gifts.
Woman 4- I give you the name Keiichiro (Starting to catch on?)
Woman 5- I give you the ability to dress in drag and no one telling the difference!
Woman 6- I give you love for cakes!
Woman 7- I give you the gift to love anyone, no matter what their gender, but only if you really love them! (How specific…)
Woman 8- I give you a makeup kit! For all your cross dressing needs! CoverMew! -
Woman 9- … I give you the gift of being a gentleman.
Woman 10- … Uh… I give you… really sparkly eyes o.O;;
Woman 11- I grant ye shall have grace! (Finally a fairy tale-ish thing…)
Woman 12- I give you—
Woman 13- AH! I HATH NOT BEEN INVITED! What? I'm not supposed to talk like that? Oh. AH YOU JERKS! I AIN'T INVITED? I GRANT-- :: moves closer to crib :: -- I GRANT ON YOUR 15th BIRTHDAY YOU SHALL PRICK YOUR FINGER ON A SPINDLE OR SOME OTHER SHARP OBJECT AND DIE!!
Woman 12- … Oh great, more sharp objects. Just like the insane asylum. (Ignore that. :: shifty eyes ::)
Pai- Ah! We worked so hard on painting Masha green without short circuiting him so we can have a kid, and it's gonna DIE?
Zakuro- o.o;; Shut up. Woman number 12 didn't give a gift yet. Maybe she can help. :: under breath :: Not that I care.
Pai- What?
Zakuro- Nothing… um… ur… Dearest.
Pai- … ROYAL DOCTOR?!
Doctor (who is not Masaya)- Mm… Yesh?
Pai- My wife had her brain replaced. Can we keep it that way?
Woman 12- SHUT UP! Or I'll take you all down!
Masaya- We all gonna die! :: makes gun noises :: Pshoo, pshoo! WE ALL GONNA DIE BITCH!
Sword-chan- (in white coat) I end up as my enemies… :: sigh :: Ooh Masaya? It's time for your suh-le-e-ep!
Masaya- NOO! :: runs around screaming ::
Sword-chan- :: injects sleepy stuff in his butt and runs away :: TIIIIMMMMBEEEERRRR!!!
Masaya- Trees? Whe-- :: falls over snoring ::
Pai- o.o I'm gonna go outlaw spindles.
Woman 12- I grant thee you will only sleep 100 years. Yay.
And so, the child was safe from Masaya as he grew up. Many confused him for a girl, and it sorta creeped people out…
Pai- Think our kid is gender confused?
Zakuro- Why wouldn't he be? He's prettier than I am.
Pai- … Your pretty?
Zakuro- AHEM?! Grr…
Pai- I mean- Your pretty!
Zakuro- That's better…
Meanwhile… (in Keiichiro's room) (Keiichiro is currently 11 years old)
Keiichiro- :: twirls around with teddy bear :: I feel pretty… oh so pretty… Na da da da… da da da… What Mr.Snuggles? It hurts? OHEMGEE! I'm SO sorry! :: hugs him :: Let's have some tea… :: wipes away non-exsistent tears on teddy bear ::
Sword-chan- :: peeks in through crack in door :: :: in high pitched voice :: Oh Keiichiro! You're so naïve! And so cute!
Keiichiro- Aw! Mr.Snuggles, your so sweet! :: hugs bear ::
Sword-chan- And Kishuu is shmexay!
Keiichiro- … Mr.Snuggles, you're gay?
Sword-chan- I'm a GIRL damnit! You're confused!
Keiichiro- … I know you're a girl…
Sword-chan- o.O;;
Keiichiro's 15th Birthday
Keiichiro- Huh. Mom and dad are out hunting for magical strawberries…
In reality…
Zakuro- Shoot the mahou shoujo! Only 50 cents!
Pai- :: attempts to shoot Zakuro ::
Zakuro- Not me, idiot! Ichigo! (Mahou shoujo- magical girl… Ichigo- strawberry… Magical strawberries… get it?)
Ichigo- EEE!! :: runs around ::
Back to Keiichiro.
Keiichiro- Huh. Guess I'll explore! :: skips up stairs to tallest tower :: Tra la la la la…
Retasu- (She's in peasant clothes) Oh, oh… Oh, oh…
Keiichiro- What are you doing?
Retasu- I'm spinng flax…
Keiichiro- No you aren't…
Retasu- Oh, whoops! :: mumble :: Damned Sword-chan changed the script… :: normal voice :: I mean, I'm uh… whacking my whacking my hands with a… stick?
Keiichiro- Why?
Retasu- Uh… because it makes my hands soft. O.o
Keiichiro- Why?
Retasu- Because it becomes so… uh… beaten it's delicate!
Keiichiro- I'm delicate! :D
Retasu- Yes, you can become more delicate. Just whack your hand!
Keiichiro- … uh… no.
Retasu- :: evil :: DO IT DAMNIT!
Keiichiro- :: whimpers :: Fine. O.K. :: whacks hand, and in the prosscess pricks finger :: Ah! :: falls onto conviently placed bed ::
Retasu- MWAHAHA! I AM REALLY THE 13th LADY! MWAHAHA! :: runs away laughing evilly :: :: pops back in :: Oh yeah, he'll fall asleep with the rest of the castle for 100 years. :: casts spell so the parents are in the castle ::
50 years later
Sword-chan- Buh dum duah dum…
Ichigo- Don't you like… age?
Sword-chan- No… I'm the authoress. But you ARE starting to get wrinkles… :: evil grin ::
Ichigo- NUUU! :: goes to get plastic surgery ::
50 MORE years later… (Whoo 100!!)
Ryou- I hath heard about all the stories about the girl (rumor got twisted over time) in the castle!
Minto- What are you, stupid? You'll die! There are all those briers (thorns)!
Ryou- But she is supposedly as beautiful as a rose! Hence the name they hath given her brier rose!
Minto- I thought you were gay…?
Ryou- Nope, I'm bi! :D
Minto- So fan girls won't kill you?
Ryou- Mainly.
And the moment Ryou stepped into the maze of briers and roses and hedges and such, the 100 years passed, and the plants parted as he walked towards them.
Ryou- Jeez, this doesn't seem so bad! The other guys must've been real wimps to die here… :: sees skeleton :: EE!! :: runs in random direction, lengthening his journey by- gasp- 5 minutes! :: :: runs into door :: Hey, this must be the door into the castle… :: walks in castle and sees stairs :: And hey, all those sleeping people are eerie! So I'm going to go up this convieniantly placed staircase! :: runs up stairs into tower ::
Keiichiro- :: is sleeping peacfully ::
Ryou- Hey, waita minute. That ain't no chick!
Keiichiro- :: thinking, as he heard it in dream :: No, I am not live poultry recently hatched, thankyou!
Ryou- Well, he's still kinda pretty, looks sweet. And I never said I wasn't gay…
Sword-chan- Actually, you said you were a bi so technically you did, but you're both gay and straight at the same time, so… uh… I'm confused. :: poofs out again ::
Ryou- o.o Whatever. :: bends over and kisses Keiichiro, who awakens immeadiatly ::
Keiichiro- … I'm… awake?
Ryou- :: nods with eyes all… weirdy :: Yeah…
And so they were married, bladdy blah.
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. YAY.
Sword-chan- :: wipes tears away :: So beautiful! So beautiful!
Kishuu- Yeah… sure… o.o;;
REVIEW REPLIES (I got some! :O)
Lilly- Thanks! I'm glad you like it. . Sorry, I'm trying to even out the main charries. ." so it'll be a while till it's Ichigo's turn again, I think.
Ichigo- Damnit! :: snaps fingers ::
Tala'sgrl- Uh… Here you go?
Krys- Of course there's another one! Here! :: presents fic to you on plate :: uh.. and then there'll be another one. And another. And a lot more. Oh good GOD! :: gets shocky thingies :: She died! :: shocks the Krys :: CLEAR! CLEAR! CLEAR!
By the way, I got another new name. I like it a lot better than the rest. Twysted.Care.Bear. Haha. Again, I mooch of the comedic genius Krys with the 'Y' in place of 'I'. :: hopes comedic genius thing will blind her from the fact she's been mooched off of :: I promise I won't mooch off so much people will call me Twyst. Haha. Nope! I'm teh Sword-chan, Teh Sw0rd, Teh Sw0rd-chan, Teh Pocky Queen, and stuffs.