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Thanks, TP96 (hope I got that right!) and Andrea, lovely to hear from you as always. Keep reviewing!
Previously on Angel: Wesley finds a sage who claims he can safely remove and restore Angel's soul, as long as it's kept in a vessel called the Muo-Ping. The team decide to take the risk in order to find out what Angelus knows about the Beast.
PS: This section takes place immediately the credits have rolled on Awakening, if you were wondering.
Connor Awakening Pt 3
"Angelus." Cordelia breathed. Behind her, the Mu Ping glowed brightly.
The group turned to go upstairs and found Deirbhile standing, staring at the jar.
"What?" Connor demanded. "What is it?"
"He's dreaming." she murmured, trailing her fingers lightly over the jar.
"Careful…" Fred muttered.
"Who's dreaming? Angelus?" Wesley asked.
"No, he's awake." Deirbhile pointed out. "Angel's dreaming."
"What about?" Cordelia asked.
"A happy ending." She looked at Connor. "Two days."
"I know."
"Two days to what?" Wesley asked.
"We'll…tell you upstairs." Deirbhile stepped back away from the table before turning around and heading upstairs.
"How does his happy ending work?" Connor asked, falling into step beside her.
"There's a sword. The sword of Bosh'ma'od. You, and him, and Cordelia and Wesley go and find it, and he kills the Beast. You and he make up; the sun comes back…" She shrugged. "Happily ever after."
"Life doesn't work that way."
"I know." She smiled faintly. "It'd be nice, though."
"So what's happening in two days?" Gunn asked as they reached the lobby.
"Can he hear us from here, Connor?" Deirbhile asked.
"Probably. I could."
Deirbhile crossed back to stand next to the door. "Can you explain it to them? I need to concentrate on this."
"What are you doing?" Cordelia asked.
"Air's not really my element, but I think I can make a barrier. Stop air going from here to there."
"And block the sound vibrations." Wesley finished.
"Yeah, but I can't do it for long. So hurry on."
"Her friend's psychic. He says we're going to be attacked, in the hotel, by the Beast, in two days. Or maybe three. He wasn't sure." Connor said.
"And what happens?" Fred asked.
"Everyone dies," Connor said bluntly, "we assume. He didn't see the ending."
"You didn't ask?" Wesley said. Connor glanced at Deirbhile, who bit her lip and shrugged helplessly.
"He didn't see it." Connor repeated finally.
"So what exactly happens?" Gunn asked.
"Angelus knows what we're doing." Deirbhile warned them. "I can't keep this up much longer."
"The Beast comes in. I attack him, he throws me over the counter into Deirbhile. Gunn throws an ax; it ricochets and nearly hits Fred. The Beast picks up my sword and throws it at Fred. Then he throws Wesley into Gunn, and that's all we got." Connor was still watching Deirbhile.
"So…where am I?" Cordelia asked.
"And me." Lorne agreed.
"He didn't say." Deirbhile muttered. "I have to let this go now. I can't hold it any longer."
"Do so." Wesley said. Deirbhile backed away from the door and dropped into the nearest chair, holding her head in her hands. "Two days?"
"He said three. He's usually right to within a day." Deirbhile said without looking up.
"I wonder if we could uninvite him." Fred mused.
"We never invited him in the first place." Cordelia pointed out. "He's not a vampire. He doesn't need an invite, so revoking it isn't going to do any good."
"Oh. Yeah." Fred murmured.
"Can you do anything?" Wesley asked Deirbhile.
"Tell you when he's coming, Wesley. That's about it. There's nothing for me to work with here."
"That'll be a help." Cordelia muttered.
"Fred, we need to lock that away." Wesley gestured to the Mu Ping in her hands and headed into the office.
"Where are you going?" Cordelia asked Deirbhile. She stopped just inside the doors.
"I don't really want to stay here and listen to Angelus tearing strips off you, thanks ever so."
"You should stay here." Gunn told her.
"There's no danger for me outside, Gunn." she said patiently.
"He's right." Connor said quickly. "You should stay."
"You're not."
"Someone has to patrol. There'll be vampires coming from all over now."
"I know." She nodded. "Just…be careful, OK?"
"Always." he answered.
"Good enough." She glanced around the lobby. "I'll just go upstairs then, I guess. I'll be there if you…" Trailing off, she murmured something else to Connor and then headed upstairs.
"What'd she say?" Gunn asked, once she was out of sight.
"It's private." Connor said flatly, crossing to the weapons cabinet and beginning to sort through the weapons there. Once he had what he wanted, he left the lobby, heading for the sewer entrance.
Connor dreamed that night.
What he'd told Cole was true, as far as it went; he did dream a lot about fighting, or his fathers, or fighting his fathers. Sometimes he dreamed about Cordelia. But he didn't dream often, and when he did he rarely remembered them well.
This was different. He'd never seen this place, though it reminded him oddly of Deirbhile's house on the outskirts of LA. He didn't know the people here, either, with the exception of Merrick. While they weren't actually ignoring him…they'd all acknowledged his presence…they were making no particular effort to draw him into the various conversations, either.
Ignoring them for the moment, he looked around him. This definitely wasn't LA; the sun was shining brightly, but that wasn't it. There was something indefinably quiet about this place. LA never slept; even now it was busy, albeit with vampires and demons rather than people. This place was calm and quiet.
"Do you like it?" He half-turned to see Deirbhile standing beside him.
"Deirbhile. Are you doing this?"
"Doing it, no. I'm…" she hesitated briefly. "Facilitating it."
"Facilitating it." Connor shook his head slightly.
"Do you remember what Cordelia told you?"
"Yeah." He looked away. "She doesn't want me."
"Before that. You've had no childhood, no friends…"
"So?"
"So we're trying to…make it up isn't right, because you can't make up for that. We're trying to give you some of that back."
"This isn't my home." He gestured around them.
"It could be. If you want it." She looked at the people wandering around. "These are my friends."
"Your Champions?" Connor asked.
"Not the way you are. They sort of stumbled into it. You're mine in a very special way."
"Gee, thanks." Connor muttered. Deirbhile smiled and continued.
"These people aren't real, not the way you and I are. They're drawn from my memories, as is this place."
"Why isn't there anything from my memories?"
"Because your memories are all painful, or nearly all, and the object of this is to help you feel better, not worse. These people will accept you for who you are. The sun will always shine here; nothing here will hurt you." She reached out to touch the side of his face gently. "Think of it as your own happy ending, if you like."
"There's no such thing." he said quietly. Deirbhile let her hand drop away from him.
"There is this time. This is not a trick, Steph…Connor. I'm not asking you to do anything. Just relax and enjoy it."
"You said we."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did. You said we're trying to make it up to you."
"Did I?"
"Who else?" He caught her arm, turning her to look at him.
"They're sort of Powers-That-Be, but not the ones Angel's working for. Others. They're a lot older, and they owe me." She shrugged. "They don't have a name, so I can't tell you any better than that."
"What do they owe you for?"
"If I told you, I'd have to kill you." She laughed out loud at the look on his face. "Pop culture references…over your head. I'll have to remember that."
"So why do they owe you?"
"It's not really something I can explain, Ste…Connor."
He looked away, back at the house and the people who were now apparently playing frisbee. "You can call me Stephen if you want." he muttered.
"Really?"
"Did you mean what you said earlier?"
"I said a lot of things earlier."
"That you're always watching me."
"Oh, that. Yes."
"Yes?"
"Yes, of course I'm always watching you. I'm always with you." She studied him carefully. "You've really never felt it?"
"I thought it was…" he gestured briefly. "All the people there. In LA. I can always sense them, all the time. I thought you were just another of them."
Deirbhile picked her way through that sentence. "But you can feel me?"
"I guess." He shrugged, suddenly disinterested, and Deirbhile let the topic drop.
"Do you want to meet the others?"
"I know Merrick."
"This Merrick doesn't know you, though. Remember, he's drawn from my memories of this place."
"Who are they all?"
"Cole, Taylor, Alyssa, Danny, and Max." She pointed each of them out as she said their names. "They were a group here that battled…the bad guys."
"What bad guys?" Connor asked.
"The bad…oh, you weren't there. There was a group here, spawned out of the earth; not demons, the way you understand it, something different. And this group fought them for a long time before ever I got involved."
"Stumbled into it." Connor murmured.
"Yes. They didn't know they were working for me, not until long after it was all over. And of all of them, only Merrick and Cole were ever mine, really. And I haven't called them in a long time." She looked up at him. "Do you want to meet them?"
"No. Let's just…" he looked around. "Let's just enjoy the sun."
"I guess you don't get to do that much, being a vampire hunter."
"No. Not so much."
Deirbhile called something to the group near the house; a minute later, the man she'd identified as Danny came across with a blanket. Deirbhile thanked him and spread it out on the ground, dropping to sit on it.
"It doesn't bite, Stephen." she said lightly, and he grimaced at her before dropping next to her.
"It's nice here." he murmured after a minute, and she smiled faintly.
"It is, isn't it? I miss it."
"How long have you been gone?" She shrugged, lying back and looking upwards.
"I left before Cole was born."
"You mean Merrick's son, right? How come he's not here?"
"Because this memory is from before he was born. That's also why Shayla's not here; she didn't come here very often in those days."
"And now?"
"They live in my house now."
"Why?" Deirbhile propped herself up on her elbows, thinking.
"I told you my house in LA was special in a very particular way."
"I remember."
"That's because it's built on what used to be a temple to me. Or maybe not to me, specifically. Every culture had an earth god or goddess, though, and there's power in those places. I look for them, wherever I go."
"This place?" Connor gestured around them, but Deirbhile shook her head.
"No. Turtle Cove's different…the people who lived here before worshipped animals, not gods."
"Are you going to bring the others here?" Connor asked, studying the blanket between his feet. He knew they were only halfway through the explanation, but this was important.
"No." Deirbhile replied instantly. "Not a chance…unless you want them." He looked up, staring at her.
"Why not?"
"This is your place. My friends are here but they won't come near you if you don't want…they're only here so you're not alone. I'll bring anyone you want here, Stephen, but only those you want."
"I want to wake up now." he murmured, and Deirbhile nodded slowly.
"All right."
Connor sat bolt upright, staring around. The room was dark, and he could hear some of the others moving around downstairs. Without thinking he identified the movements—Gunn, Cordelia, Wesley, Lorne, Cordelia again—and then slid out of bed, leaving his room and moving down the corridor towards the stairs.
Fred was on the landing, doing something, and he brushed past her without paying attention. "Where're you going, Connor?" she called after him.
"To talk to Deirbhile."
"She's downstairs." Connor came to a halt, listening to the lobby again.
"No she's not."
"She's in the basement."
"What? What's she doing in the basement?"
"Angelus won't talk to her, or to us when she's there. It wasn't our idea, Connor."
"How long has she been there?"
"An hour, maybe."
"Down there with him for an hour?" He pushed past her again, crossing the lobby without looking around, heading straight for the basement.
"Connor, wait." Cordelia said from behind him.
"I'm busy."
"Connor!" She caught his sleeve. "What is it?"
"I need to talk to Deirbhile."
"Why?" Cordelia searched his face.
"I need to ask her something." He glanced across at the monitor. Deirbhile must have been sitting right under the camera, because only her feet were visible; she was humming softly, and Angelus was sitting in the extreme back of the cage, glaring at her.
"He hasn't spoken since she went down there." Wesley said, following his gaze. "If I didn't know better, I'd say he was afraid of her."
"Yeah. Interesting." Connor pulled away from Cordelia and headed for the stairs again.
"Whoa there, kid." Lorne intercepted him.
"Why don't you want me to talk to her?" Connor demanded.
"That's not it." Cordelia said. "We're just…" She glanced around for help; when none was forthcoming, she went on, "We're not ready for more Angelus-talking. Deirbhile's keeping him quiet."
"I don't care." He went around Lorne and downstairs.
"Kid's getting worse." Gunn commented.
"He's worried about something." Cordelia turned to the monitor.
Connor stopped a few steps up from Deirbhile, just out of view of the camera. Angelus watched them both closely, but he didn't say anything. Deirbhile's hum trailed off.
"What just happened?" he asked, keeping his voice low.
"You were there."
"But you weren't." She turned at that to look at him.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because you're here. For the past hour, Fred says."
"So?" She shrugged. "I can be here and there at the same time." Connor stared and she added quickly, "I can't do very much here, mind." Angelus uncoiled to his feet, and she looked over, smiling. "Yeah, Angelus. I couldn'ta stopped you before, but now I can, so sit back down like a good boy, huh?"
"Why don't you make me?" Angelus snarled.
"Oh. Try me." Deirbhile stood slowly and wandered towards the cage. She'd covered half the space when Angelus slid back down to sit on the floor.
"How do you do that?" Connor asked. Deirbhile looked back over her shoulder at him.
"I've only known Angel two days, Stephen. I won't risk Angelus getting loose, even if it means no more Angel, and he knows it. I can set him on fire from here if I need to, and it wouldn't bother me. He's just a vampire. Dead meat walking." She was facing Connor, though, and her eyes said something very different.
"Let's go upstairs." he said after a minute. She nodded, following him up without looking back at Angelus.
"Nice bluff." Cordelia said when they reached the lobby.
"It won't work much longer. Angelus is smart enough for that."
"Where are you going now?" Gunn asked.
"Out into the courtyard. Stephen and I want to talk."
"Is he still mad at you?" Fred asked.
"No, we're over that. I think." Deirbhile smiled brightly and headed out into the courtyard.
"Connor?" Cordelia intercepted him. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure." He followed her to one side of the lobby.
"Listen, I've been doing some research on Deirbhile."
"Have you." Connor tilted his head slightly.
"She does this, Connor. She turns up somewhere all friendly, hangs around until she gets bored, then she just takes off without warning."
"Sounds like everyone else in my life." Connor muttered.
"Hey. I came back, didn't I?" Cordelia demanded.
"Whatever. We done?"
"Connor…" Cordelia reached out to touch his face. "I don't want you to be hurt."
"She's my friend." Connor said quickly. "I'm allowed have friends, right?"
"Of course you are, just…be careful, OK?"
"I'm always careful." Connor pulled away from her and crossed the lobby, heading out into the courtyard.
"OK. Someone needs to teach that kid some manners." Gunn said.
"He's having a rough time. Let him be." Cordelia said.
Deirbhile was leaning against the rail, staring out over the garden, when Connor caught up with her. She didn't move for a long minute, still staring out; finally she turned, putting her back to the rail.
"You're not comfortable here, are you." Connor said.
"No. These plants are dying, Stephen, and so is everything else in LA. That hurts me." She shook her head. "Don't worry about that. What did you want to ask?"
"What happened?"
"In the dream?" He nodded, and she shrugged. "You were there. You saw everything."
"How do you…how does it work?" She looked steadily at him.
"It doesn't work with other people, Stephen. Only with you, because you're mine."
"I'm not." he muttered half-heartedly. To his surprise, she laughed.
"I should stop saying it that way…no one has been mine the way you are for…a very long time. Longer than I want to think about. There are those who do my work, but I haven't…"
"I'm not yours." Connor interrupted her.
"Stephen." She caught his shoulder, pulled him around to face her. "I'm not asking anything from you. We don't have to dream if you don't want, I'm not asking you to do anything…just be who you are. That's all I need."
Connor pulled away from her and stood staring at the courtyard for a long time. Deirbhile waited patiently, not moving or speaking, for him to gather his thoughts.
When he did finally speak it was a non sequitur. "Why are you so worried about my name?"
"Stephen, I couldn't care less what your name is. I would call you Paddington Bear if that was what you wanted." Connor turned to stare at her, and she smiled. "I want to call you something you want me to call you. Connor and Stephen…they're not the whole of you."
"Deirbhile's not you."
"It's good enough…" At the look on his face, she added, "Call me whatever you want, Stephen. It doesn't matter."
"Merrick called you Tara."
"He did. Tara is what he and his friends knew me as."
"You like it?"
"Tara's very special to me." He nodded slowly.
"It's a good name."
"Merrick said that about Deirbhile." she mused.
"What does it mean?"
"Which? Tara? Star." She laughed suddenly. "Or craggy hill, depending on what language you're using."
"I like Star."
"Call me that then."
He shook his head. "Tara's nice."
"It is. But do you think…" she trailed off.
"What?"
"Well, no one thinks anything of it when I call you Stephen. If you suddenly start calling me Tara…"
"You don't want them to know we're…" he hesitated.
"Whatever we are?" she filled in. "It's not that, Connor. Just…go with me on this for now, all right? Call me Tara all you want but not where anyone can hear us."
"Did you dream with Merrick?"
"I've never dreamt with anyone." She was utterly serious. "Not my brother. Not my husband. Just you."
"It was nice to feel sun."
"It'll be back." She looked upwards; it was just past noon, and the darkness blotting out the sun was just visible overhead.
"You sound so certain."
"I am so certain. I have to be."
"Why?"
"Someone has to be." She turned away and went back inside then.
"Kid?" Connor turned to see Lorne standing in the door. "You coming in?"
"I'm coming."
"You OK?"
"Just thinking."
"Anything I can help with?" Connor studied him.
"Can you read Deirbhile?"
"Not much. Why?"
"Why is she here?"
"I thought it was to help me, but now I'm thinkin' maybe it's the major bad mojo."
"It hurts her being here. The sun…it's killing her." He glanced at Lorne, then away. "She's starting to act odd again."
"Maybe it's something else, then."
"What is…"
"Connor?" Deirbhile was at the door. "Cordelia wants you, please."
"Are you all right?"
"No. Cordelia wants you."
"What's…" He cut himself off when she turned away.
"She called you Connor." Lorne noted.
"She does, sometimes." Connor wasn't really listening to Lorne any more; instead he was tracking Deirbhile's far too slow progress through the hotel lobby and upstairs.
"Must have missed the memo. Coming?"
"Yes." Connor followed him quietly inside.