Author's note: Yay! More readers! Stary, thanks very much. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Merykey-7…good question! Tara never knew Cordelia when she wasn't possessed, is all I can say. She can't sense properly around the Hellmouth, so she didn't ever know Cordelia. Make sense?
Previously, on Angel: With Angel's soul apparently restored, his friends scattered to begin preparations to bring down the Beast. Angelus had tricked them, however, and while the hotel was almost empty he returned to chase Cordelia and Lilah.
Deirbhile Salvage
"Deirbhile." Lorne looked up as she came into the lobby. "You all right, kiddo?"
"He hasn't hurt me." She looked at Cordelia. "Is she…"
"She'll be fine." Wesley said shortly. "Where is Angelus?"
"Somewhere in the hotel. I don't know."
"And Lilah?" Gunn asked, not expecting an answer.
"Third floor west corridor." She looked around at them. "What?"
"You can't track Angelus, but you know where Lilah is?"
"She hasn't moved in the last ten minutes." Deirbhile pulled away from them, moving to stand behind Connor who was helping Cordelia sit down.
"Why not?" Gunn asked, but Wesley was already heading for the stairs and he groaned and followed him at a run.
Deirbhile looked up briefly before looking back at Cordelia. Connor was getting ready to pull out the crossbow bolt from her leg.
"Cordelia." Deirbhile said quietly, catching Connor's wrist. He glanced up at her but didn't say anything, and she went on, "Did you put anything on the bolt?"
"What?"
"Did you tip it with anything?"
"Like what?"
"Sedative? Muscle paralyser, anything like that."
"No." Cordelia took a deep breath before adding, "We weren't expecting him back, remember? It's just wood."
"Good."
"Let me get something to tie around her leg." Fred said.
"I'll do that." Lorne hurried away somewhere, and Deirbhile straightened back up, looking away.
"What?" Connor asked.
"Nothing. Sorry." She leaned back down. "Cordelia, once Stephen takes out the bolt I can get rid of any infection for you, if you want."
"What's the catch?" Cordelia was oddly breathless.
"It might hurt a bit." Deirbhile considered it. "Not as much as getting shot, or having the bolt pulled out again, though." Connor looked up again at that, but he was spared from saying anything when Lorne came back with a belt. At the same time, Wesley and Gunn came back downstairs.
Deirbhile looked back down at the sickening sound the bolt made coming out of Cordelia's leg. Fred looked very upset, but she kept her cool, tying off the belt and reaching for the bandages. Deirbhile stopped her, reaching out to touch Cordelia's leg lightly.
"How is she?" Wesley asked.
"She's lost a lot of blood." Connor stood up, moving out of Deirbhile's way. "Where's…"
"He got away." Gunn said grimly, then, "He killed Lilah."
Everyone stopped for a second, staring at him; then Connor grabbed blindly for the nearest weapon and headed upstairs at a run, and Cordelia cursed softly. Deirbhile backed away from her, and Fred started with the bandages again.
"Oh, god." Cordelia murmured, leaning back. "It's started."
Connor was staring out the window when Deirbhile rounded the corner; she paused briefly by Lilah's body before moving to stand behind him. Neither spoke for a long time.
"It's not your fault, you know." she said finally.
"Funny. I was just thinking that about you."
"Me? Why?"
He pulled back from the window and looked at her. "Because your room's right down the hall."
"So's yours."
"I wasn't here."
"Not your fault." Deirbhile turned away, taking a deep breath. "Angelus knows you, you know. Maybe better than Angel does."
"So?"
"He tricked you. He did it on purpose, he knew you'd be the one tracking him. This…" she gestured to Lilah. "This was to hurt you as much as Wesley."
"I don't care if Lilah dies."
"So you say."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Deirbhile tipped her head to one side.
"The others are coming."
"I know the others are coming. Answer the question."
"Later, Stephen."
"You always say that." he grumbled, looking up as the others came into view. Wesley had found a large sheet of plastic somewhere, and he and Gunn carefully wrapped Lilah in it. Cordelia sank down onto a nearby box, and Fred leaned helplessly against a wall.
"We should be going after him." Connor said, apropos of nothing.
"No need." Wesley sounded very tired. "He'll be back."
"We were Angel's friends." Cordelia agreed. "Angelus will want to hurt us."
"So shouldn't we…board up the windows? Make it safe?" Fred asked.
"If Angelus wants in, we can't stop him." Gunn told her.
"Unless…" Lorne said suddenly. "We use the Sanctuary spell! The one I used at Caritas!"
"Magic again." Connor muttered derisively. "You people rely way too much on that junk."
"We use whatever tools we have." Wesley told him. "That's a powerful spell, isn't it?"
"I'll call the Furies. Maybe there's a quickie version." Lorne suggested.
"We have to destroy her." Connor said suddenly. Wesley raised his head and looked at him. "The body. She could have been turned."
"No, there wasn't enough time for that." Gunn dismissed him.
"You don't know that."
"Hell I don't, it happened too…"
"No. He's right." Wesley said.
"Can you tell?" Fred asked, looking at Deirbhile.
"No. There's nothing here for me to work with. If we were outside, or nearer the window…"
"It's all right." Cordelia said quietly. "It's not your fault."
"Right, cos hiding in my room while an innocent is killed makes me such a great person." She turned and left the group, heading for her room and closing the door quietly.
"I'll, um…go ring the Furies." Lorne said quietly, helping Cordelia to her feet.
"You should rest, Cordelia." Fred said anxiously. Connor stepped up beside her and silently offered to help her. She smiled, taking his am.
"You want help, man?" Gunn asked Wesley.
"Help me get her downstairs. I'll…deal with her."
"You sure?"
"I'll deal with her." There was absolutely no emotion in his voice.
Fred slipped away, leaving them to carry Lilah downstairs; Connor came back, glanced at them, and let himself into Deirbhile's room.
"They're getting awful chummy." Gunn muttered.
"Let them. If it distracts him from trying to kill Angelus so much the better."
"Answer the question."
"Hi, Stephen. How are you? I'm doing better. Thanks for asking."
"Answer the question." he repeated.
Deirbhile sighed and turned to look at him. "You said you don't care. I don't believe you. You're too good a person not to care when an innocent dies."
"She wasn't innocent."
"Not totally. But she wasn't evil, either."
"She wanted to dissect me."
"You think I'd have let her?"
"I don't know! I don't know anything about what you want, or what you'd do…"
"I want you happy. That's all."
"You have a funny way of showing it."
"I'm doing the best I can." There was a knock at the door; without looking away from Connor, she called, "Come in."
Lorne stuck his head around the door. "I…hi, Connor. Thariin, I wanted to ask you something about the ritual."
"I'm not a demon." She still didn't look away from Connor. "But I won't be there when you're casting it. After it's cast it won't matter."
"Good. That's all I wanted to know." He started to leave, hesitating just inside the door. "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing we can't handle. Thank you."
"You sure? 'Cos some of these vibes, well, I've seen better vibes at the death rallys, you know what I mean?"
"We're fine. Thank you."
"When we're there?" Connor said suddenly, studying her intently. "In the dream? How much of that is real?"
"All the important parts." Deirbhile said equally quietly. Lorne was watching them both carefully, but he wasn't speaking now so they both ignored him.
"Which parts are those?" Connor pressed her.
"You and me, Stephen. We're the important parts."
"How much, Tara?" She sighed, turning away.
"You're real. Anything you think or say or feel is real. I'm real. The house is really there, though I haven't been in a while. The people are real but they might not react in real life like they do there." She turned back, studying him concernedly. "Don't you like it?"
"I wanted…to know how real it is."
"How real does it feel?" Lorne spoke up from behind them. Connor laughed humorlessly.
"Realer than this."
"Then there's two things it could be." Deirbhile took a step back, allowing Lorne to explain this. "Either it is real, and you're being given a wonderful gift. Or someone's trying to distract you from this world. And I think only you can decide which it is." Connor studied him for a moment before looking back to Deirbhile, who only smiled softly.
"I believe in it, Stephen. You need to decide whether you believe in it too."
"I don't want it to stop." Connor muttered, sounding much younger than his years.
"But you don't want it either, do you?" Deirbhile countered. He raised his head, looking at her in surprise, and she went on, "I'm not stupid, Stephen. I see how you act there. You don't want to belong."
"I had a family."
"You had a father." she corrected him. "I'm not asking you to forget him, Stephen. We're only trying to give you something you deserve."
"You just feel guilty." he said bitterly, moving away and pacing the room.
"There's that." Deirbhile agreed. "If you want it to stop I can do that. I just wanted to help you."
"Thariin?" Lorne asked. "Why do you feel guilty?"
Deirbhile looked across at Connor, who was pointedly ignoring her. "You need to ask Stephen about that, Lorne. It's not mine to tell you."
"Tell him if you want. I don't care." Connor said, still pacing.
"You do care, or you'd tell him yourself." Deirbhile said calmly.
"Oh, boy." Lorne said suddenly. Connor came to a sudden halt.
"Are you reading us?"
"Kid, you're broadcasting so loud you're lucky I'm the only one reading you." He turned to look at Deirbhile. "How did that happen? I didn't think you had Champions."
"I'm not so hands-on as the Powers. My Champions often don't know who they are…were you there when Connor was born, Lorne?"
"Yeah."
"So you know how it happened. The first thing he touched…"
"…was the earth," Lorne finished, "because Darla dusted herself."
"Right. Angel's touch would have dedicated him to the Powers; Darla's, to something else entirely. But I got him."
"You don't own me." Connor flung at her.
"Never claimed to, Stephen--not seriously, anyway. Do you want me to stop the dreams?"
"I want to…" he broke off abruptly, glaring at Lorne.
"I'll just…" Lorne stood, gesturing vaguely.
"Don't bother." Deirbhile said quietly. "I'm going anyway." Connor turned back in surprise.
"Going where?"
"Out." At the look on his face she added, "Merrick's in trouble. I have to go."
"I'll come." Connor said. Deirbhile shook her head.
"It's not your fight. It's not even your kind of fight."
"I don't care. Angel won't let you out alone anyway."
"Weren't you just fighting with me a minute ago?"
"Yeah, well, no one ever accused me of being consistent."
"Where are you going?" Lorne asked.
"Why?" Connor demanded.
"'Cause if it's a long way, you might want to cadge a lift from one of our driving associates. Save some time." Lorne suggested.
"It's not far." Deirbhile said, turning towards the door.
"More backup?"
"Lorne!" She spun back around to face him, hair starting to blow. Connor leaned across and spoke quietly to her; after a moment, her hair settled. "We're going, Lorne." she said, somewhat calmer. "No one is coming. We'll be back…" she glanced automatically at the window. "We'll be back later. Don't tell anyone we're gone unless they ask, all right?"
"All right." Lorne agreed. "But I don't like this much."
"Merrick is my family. I have to go."
He nodded, finally, stepping away from the door, and she threw Connor a quick look and went out through it. Connor followed her quietly.
They were back before Lorne finished the ritual; true to her word, Deirbhile went upstairs while he cast the spell, coming back in time to see Lorne attack Connor.
"Hey!" she yelled, just as he was thrown back.
"Was that you?" Fred asked.
"No, I don't go for flashy blue light effects."
"That was the spell." Lorne said breathlessly. "Oooh…smarts like the Dickens."
"It's working, then." Deirbhile paused at the entrance to the basement, looking thoughtfully down the stairs.
"Yes." Fred said cheerfully, gathering together the books they'd used. Deirbhile backed up a little, letting Wesley pass her and come into the lobby. He hesitated beside her.
"Did you see that?"
"Bits of it. We're only just back."
"And how is…" he trailed off.
"Merrick. Yes, he's fine, thank you."
"Did Angel know him?"
"No. And Angelus can't track me. He'll be fine if he stays away."
"Will he?" Deirbhile laughed.
"Probably not, no. Are you all right?"
"Probably not." Wesley moved past her into the center of the room. "We're going to bring Angelus in alive."
"No we're not." Connor said flatly.
"Thought you said capturing him wasn't an option." Gunn agreed.
"I changed my mind." Wes said calmly.
"Change it back." Connor demanded.
"We get rid of Angelus, then what? We still have a Beast we don't know how to kill. We know it's working for something much worse, but we don't know what it is. We're caught in the middle of a maelstrom and we can't get out without our Champion." Connor glanced at Deirbhile, who was watching Wes quietly. She caught his eye and smiled, shrugging helplessly, and Connor looked back at Wes.
"We're going to save Angel." Wes went on. "And I know who we need to help us do it."
"I shouldn't be here."
Connor was pacing back and forth across the grass. Deirbhile was leaning against the wall, watching him quietly. Merrick was standing some way behind her, watching both but too far away to hear anything they were saying.
"Nothing's happening at the hotel, Stephen. You know I'm there. Nothing's going to happen until Wes comes back with whoever he's gone to get."
"Still should be there."
"You need to rest sometimes, Stephen. There's going to be a hunt, and they'll need you. When did you last sleep?"
"I don't remember. What does it matter?"
Deirbhile grinned. "Even you need sleep, Stephen."
"Once, in Quor'toth, I stayed awake for almost three weeks."
"Really? Why?"
"I needed to." She nodded.
"And how were you at the end of it?"
"Tired." he admitted, ducking his head. "But it hasn't…"
"It doesn't matter how long it's been. You need the sleep. Nothing's happening at the hotel. Take it easy…and stop pacing!" She caught his arm as he passed in front of her again.
"Why is he here?" Connor asked, gesturing towards Merrick. Deirbhile glanced over her shoulder, frowning.
"I don't know. He wasn't meant to be. Does it bother you?"
"Yes." Connor said with surprising honesty. "I want him to go away." Deirbhile nodded.
"All right. Stay here for a minute." She jumped the wall and went to talk to Merrick; after a moment the figure faded away and she came back, frowning.
"What?" Connor demanded.
"It wasn't Merrick; it was Cole. He had a message for you."
"Cole? Then why did…"
"Because Cole's not part of this memory. He couldn't come in as himself."
"I'm not part of it either." Connor pointed out.
"It's designed for you, though. Wouldn't be much good if you couldn't get here."
Connor frowned, obviously decided not to push it, and forged ahead. "What's the message?"
"The mess…oh. Cole says someone you know will bring someone you think you know, but you shouldn't trust your eyes and you should listen with your feelings."
"Does he always talk that way?"
"Always." Deirbhile rolled her eyes. "At least, when he's talking about a dream. That time in the house, that was unusual…he doesn't usually dream in a linear sequence like that." Connor stared, and she explained quickly, "When he dreams it's usually all jumbled up. A lot of the time he doesn't understand it until afterwards." She waved one hand vaguely. "Anyway. You have the message?"
"I'll remember."
"Good. I have to…someone's calling me, and I have to wake up." She hesitated, looking at him. "Are you…"
"I want to wake up now." he interrupted her, and she nodded quickly.
Connor was practicing his swordplay on the landing above the lobby when she wandered back downstairs; she pretty much ignored him and hopped up onto the counter, crossing her legs and staring into space.
"Relax, boys." Lorne said. Connor hadn't stopped practicing, and Gunn was obsessively checking his weapons. "The spell's working, and I still have the slight migraine to prove it."
"Yeah, maybe so." Gunn agreed. "But if Angelus comes back I want to be ready."
"We are." Wes said from the door. "Now."
Everyone turned to look at him, and the dark-haired girl beside him.
"Sweet crib." she said with a grin.
"Everyone, this is Faith. The Vampire Slayer." Wes said.
"Hello, Faith." Fred said brightly. "I'm…"
"Fred. Yeah, Wes gave me the skinny on you guys."
"Oh." Fred said, mildly unsure.
"Faith?" Cordelia was on the stairs, staring at the group. "What the hell is she doing here?"
"Nice to see you too, Cor." Faith said, grinning.
"She's here to help." Wes told her.
"Oh. Gee." Cordelia came down into the lobby; Connor echoed her movements from the other landing. "Wait a sec, wasn't she convicted of murder and sent to a state correctional facility for, like, a gazillion years?"
"Uh, Murder 2, twenty five to life. For the record." Faith said. The others were staring.
"So now you've brought Psycho Slayer out of retirement to kill Angelus?" Cordelia asked Wes.
"Cordelia, you have every right to feel that way about me. You have no reason to trust me. But I don't have loads of time, so what say we save it until after this is over, cool?"
Cordelia glared, but, recognizing a losing battle, she kept silent.
"OK. Let's get down to it. We're going to keep this hunting party tight." Faith glanced around, looked at Gunn. "Gunn, right?"
"Yeah." Gunn said.
"Love the name. Hear you're a good fighter."
"I hold my own." Gunn agreed.
"That's a shame." Faith mused. "You're with me, Wes, and the kid."
"Kid has a name." Connor said from directly behind her, sheathing his sword.
"Connor." Faith said, over-patiently. She immediately turned back to Gunn. "Arm yourself how you like but I want you to carry the tranc gun. If I can't take him down, I want you to be ready to take the shot, yeah?" Gunn nodded, already turning towards the weapons cabinet. "In case anyone has any other ideas, this is a salvage mission, not search-and-destroy. OK?"
"No. Not OK." Connor said. Deirbhile looked up as he went on, "You think you can just breeze in here telling everyone what to do? You're not a part of this. You think I'm not going to kill Angelus if he comes at me, then…"
"Listen up, Junior." Faith interrupted him. "If I need a bloodhound, I'll call you. If Angelus needs putting down, I'll be the one to do it. Not you. So…is there anything else you're not OK with?"
Connor glared at her, but he didn't speak. Deirbhile watched them both carefully without moving from her seat.
Faith turned away, seeming to lose interest in him. "Show me the weapons."
Wes headed for the weapons cabinet; Faith followed him but slowed as she passed Deirbhile. "You weren't in the guide book."
"No. I don't guess I was." Deirbhile agreed.
"So who are you?"
"I'm not subject to the Powers." Deirbhile announced. "So you don't get to tell me what to do."
"Deirbhile…" Wes said warningly.
"She doesn't." Deirbhile insisted.
"She's not trying to." Lorne said soothingly.
"Apparently she's six years old." Faith said.
"She's not well." Connor said in automatic, unthinking defense.
"That's real nice." Faith said.
"Deirbhile is…" Wes hesitated.
"Don't stop there! You haven't reached the good part yet." Deirbhile prompted him.
"…Just as complicated as the rest of us, so perhaps we can leave her for later." Wes said finally.
"Fine by me."
"That's not how the story's supposed to end." Deirbhile muttered.
"How's it supposed to end?" Faith asked, interested despite herself.
"With much less blood and death." Deirbhile said, staring straight at Faith. "With a happy ending. A clean one. Not with darkness and death and things falling."
Connor came forward and held out one hand. Deirbhile took it and let him help her off the counter. "She doesn't know what she's saying." he said quietly. "She never knows when she's like this."
"Everything's falling." Deirbhile said, still looking at Faith. "He doesn't see so much anymore. Not to the left, anyway."
"Who doesn't?"
"Xander. Not on his left, he doesn't see."
"Something happened to Xander?" Cordelia asked.
"Popped it out." Deirbhile muttered. "Just popped it right out to stop him knowing."
"Stop him knowing what?" Faith asked. Deirbhile stared at her, not even seeming to register the question.
"Connor, maybe Deirbhile should go up to her room." Wes suggested.
"No." Connor shook his head, pushing Deirbhile gently towards a couch. "Not when she's like this. It gets worse if she's left alone."
"How do you know?" Fred asked. Connor flushed, looking at Cordelia and then around the room.
"I've…noticed. What, you think I don't watch things?"
"Fun as this is…" Faith left it hanging, and Wes nodded.
"Yes, we should go. Gunn? Are you ready?"
"Yeah, I'm cool."
"Let's go, then. Connor." Connor looked up and nodded, following the group towards the door…and then he hesitated and looked back.
"Go on." Deirbhile, more or less coherent, looked up. "Night's…over, actually, but hey. Metaphorically young. Go kill something." Catching Wes's eye, she added meekly, "But not Angel, because that would be bad. No killing Angel. No sir, absolutely not."
"Go, Connor." Cordelia cut across her. "We'll look after her. You go, they're waiting." Connor nodded and headed out, following Wes and Faith and Gunn into the night.
He didn't come to her room when he got back.
The sun's return had taken her by surprise, and as soon as it burst through she was out in the garden. Lorne and Fred followed her out, and they were still there when Connor and Gunn came back; but Deirbhile had slipped back inside a few minutes earlier.
And Connor, on his way to see her, stopped in Cordelia's room.
And his world was turned upside down by one single sentence.
"We're having a baby."