"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop," she said, smiling.
"No, no," he replied, hastily wiping his tears. "It's OK."
Rose felt a little apprehensive about talking to Charlie, knowing that he may not be up to conversation but she decided to try anyway. Someone needed to get through to him.
"May I sit with you?" she asked.
"Well, yes, but I'm afraid I won't be much company," he said, staring into his folded hands.
Rose took this as a good sign; at least Charlie didn't say no.
Rose sat and looked at this broken young man.
"How are you, Charlie?" she asked.
"I'll be 27 in April," he answered.
"Well, you look older," she replied.
Charlie smiled a bit. "Yeah, well, I never got that when I was a kid," he explained. "People always thought that I looked younger for my age."
"Seems that people experience things that make them feel older," she explained. "Like they grow up before their time. I feel that right now."
"How?" he asked.
"With my husband gone," she began tear up. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. We were just celebrating our 25 wedding anniversary in Sydney, something we always wanted do. He had just retired and we wanted to travel around the world, take a cruise, see England, go to Italy."
"I toured there with my band, Drive Shaft, it really beautiful," Charlie said.
"So I've heard," she said. "Well, we were going to start traveling after we flew back to LA, you know take care of a few things, but..." Her voice trailed off."
"The plane crash," he responded.
Rose nodded silently, tears coming down. Despite his own grief, Charlie reached over and took her hand.
Rose looked up and smiled through her tears. Bravely, she continued talking. "It's just now that I'm starting to begin to comprehend the fact that my husband's gone."
Feeling a lump grow in his throat, Charlie whispered, "I'm so sorry, Rose."
"Bless you, child," she said, warmly, rubbing his hand.
Charlie looked at her and felt a connection starting to form. After a few minutes of silence, Charlie asked, "How are you dealing with the fact?"
Rose smiled and closed her eyes as she lovingly spoke. "Well, I think about all the wonderful times we had together. Our first date, when he proposed to me, our wedding, the birth of our daughters. And I pray."
Charlie looked at her in shock. Pray. That's a word he hadn't heard in a long time.
"I pray every night for him, for God to hold him and for God to give me strength because I need it," she explained, looking into the sky. Then, she looked at Charlie and asked, "Do you pray?"
Charlie looked down, ashamed. "No," he responded. "No, I don't. Not anymore."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
Charlie rubbed his eyes and said, "I used to be a religious man, I was raised Catholic in England, you know, Catholic school, altar boy, the whole nine yards. Up until the time I was in Drive Shaft, I was praying everyday."
"With Rosary beads?" she said.
Brightened, he said, "Yes! I would carry them in my pocket and whenever, things got difficult, I would grab them and pray." Charlie began to look sad. "I got so wrapped up in the band and the drugs and everything, that I just stopped believing."
"Do you still believe in God?" she asked, seriously.
Charlie thought about that for a while. He folded his hands, looked down, and said, "No."
Rose felt saddened. "Why don't you still believe, honey?"
Charlie looked at her with tears in his eyes. "Because how could God allow all this to happen?" he whispered. "How could He allow our plane to crash in the middle of nowhere and have no one rescue us and people die in the crash and on the island?" Charlie looked down and began to cry, the pain of the last few days finally being taken out.
"How could he allow me to be kidnapped, hung on a tree, beaten and lift for dead," he said, tears rolling down his face. "How could He have allowed me to suffer like this broken ribs and not being able to walk without someone helping me?
" And how could He allow me to meet a beautiful, gentle woman, Claire, and give her such a wonderful gift, a sweet baby and have some monster kidnapped her, no where to be found? No one to help her give birth, no one to help her at all." Charlie's cries began to change to sobs.
"It's all my fault," he managed to speak between sobs. "I shouldn't have talked to Ethan, I should have gone straight to Jack but I didn't want to leave Claire alone, in labor. I should have fought harder against this guy. I shouldn't have let him take her. I should have-I should have-" Charlie couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't speak, he just cried and sobbed, his chest heaving and his shoulders bobbing up and down.
Feeling tears of her own, Rose wrapped her arms around him and held him close. She placed his head on her shoulder and left him cry. Charlie cried for a long time, letting all the sadness, pain, and guilt being release from his soul.
Rose patted him on the back, and rubbed him and soothed him, careful of his broken ribs. "It's all right," she said, softly. "It's all right, baby boy." Rose hugged him for a while and just comforted him
"No, it's not," he said, miserably. "It's not all right. Claire's missing, she's lost somewhere, and there's nothing that anybody can do about it."
"No, no," she said, caressing his tear-strained face. "There is something you can do about it."
Charlie looked at her and he knew what she was thinking. But he couldn't do it. "I can't," he said, beginning to cry again. "I can't pray. I've done so many horrible things. God could never forgive me."
Rose felt her heart break again and she held Charlie even tighter to herself, careful of his bruises. "Baby, He can, He can forgive you," she pleaded. "It's doesn't matter what you have done. God loves you. You just have to believe."
Charlie looked up at her, still crying hard. "I can't believe," he murmured. "I'm not strong enough to believe. I'm not strong enough to pray, I'm not just strong enough."
Rose laid his head on her shoulder and rubbed his back.
"Heavenly Father, please help Charlie, please let him know that You love him and forgive him," she prayed. Then, she remembered the Rosary Beads!! Charlie needs the Rosary Beads now. She took the beads and placed them in Charlie's hand. Through his tears, Charlie saw the beads in his hand.
"Hold them, baby," she pleaded. "Hold them. Let them remind you that you are loved."
Charlie looked at the beads and wrapped his hands around them, tightening them. He held them so intense that he felt something stronger holding them. He bowed his head and began to pray for the first time in long while.
"Lord, please help me," he prayed, tears rolling down his face. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do but I know that You can do something. I know it because I've experienced it. I've felt it, Father. I've felt Your Grace and Love, I felt it when I survived the plane crash, when I kicked drugs, even when I almost died."
That's when the knowledge of God's love broke through to his tortured soul. "I almost died. Died. But I didn't," he spoke, a trace of joy entering his voice. "I'm alive. I'm alive because You love me. You forgave me. Whether it was sleeping with women outside of marriage or doing drugs, You never left me. You never gave up on me, even when I gave up on You." Charlie opened his hands and saw the Rosary Beads. He stroked the Cross; a symbol of how much God loved him. "God, please take away the pain I feel in my heart. Please take away the guilt and sadness inside my soul. Most of all, most of all," he began to cry harder. Gripping the beads tighter, he prayed, with much vigor and courage and strength, "Watch over Claire and the baby. Hold them in Your Arms tonight. Keep them safe. Please, please, please, Father, just send Your Spirit to protect them. Let us find them. Just protect them. Amen." Charlie held the beads to his chest and let the tears flow. Rose, once again, hugged him for a while and then, gently eased him onto the makeshift bed and helped him put the pillows underneath his shirt, to help with the broken ribs. She wrapped her blanket around him and watched him sleep. Charlie, carefully, turned over and held the beads in his hands. As soon as he tightened his grip, he felt peace and solace enter his very soul. Charlie felt all the pain taken away from him, the guilt, the grief, the sadness, everything was gone and he was in God's Presence. He closed his eyes and fell asleep, once again sleeping the whole night.