1Chapter Four
"Speed, you have to sit down." Horatio said, looking down at his lap. Tim shook his head. He couldn't sit. All he could do was think about Calleigh, who was in surgery. Surgery... Tim felt dizzy and collapsed into a chair next to Eric.
"What... what if she's not okay?" Tim asked, staring down at his wedding ring.
"She's going to be." Horatio replied. "Speed, listen to me. She'll be okay."
He shook his head.
"I... I should've protected her."
"You did what you had to."
"She wouldn't have listened to you even if you tried." Eric said. "You know Calleigh. She's stubborn."
Tim sighed and buried his head in his hands.
"I can't sit here not knowing what's going on." he mumbled.
"I just got off. I would've been here sooner." Alexx said. "How are you honey?"
"How do you think I am?" Tim snapped, sitting up straight. His eye were red from crying and all he wanted right now was a shot of alcohol, aspirin, and Calleigh.
"She's gonna be okay Tim." Alexx said.
"Yeah that's what everyone's been saying. What if she's not?"
"She will be." Eric said. "She's strong."
The group went into a lapse of silence. They stayed like that until Calleigh's doctor came out.
"Mr. Speedle?"
"Yeah." Tim mumbled, looking up. "How's Calleigh?"
"She's fine... however,"
"However?" Tim asked. The doctor sighed.
"She lost the baby."
"What?"
Everyone looked shocked.
"What? What baby?" Tim asked, a thousand emotions running through him.
"You didn't know your wife was pregnant?" the doctor asked.
"No this is a look of someone in the know." Tim snapped. "Of course I didn't know! Does Calleigh know?"
"Well she's unconscious right now. I doubt I'd get a response from her. She should be awake in a few hours. We'll have her moved down into a regular room then. I'm sorry."
He walked away, leaving the four in shock.
"Tim..." Alexx started, resting a hand on his shoulder.
"Leave me alone." he muttered, standing up.
"Speed..."
"I said leave me alone." he said.
"Speed, we know wha..." Horatio started.
"No! No you don't know what I'm thinking or what I'm feeling right now!" he exclaimed. "You don't understand."
Tim turned away from his friends, feeling another fit of crying coming on. Horatio and Alexx exchanged a glance. For the past year and a half, since they had gotten married, Tim and Calleigh had tried having children but Calleigh never got pregnant and now she finally did and she had a miscarriage...
"Eric, go to the crime scene and finish up." Horatio said. He nodded and moved towards Tim but thought better of it.
"Call me later." he said. Horatio nodded and his CSI walked out of the ER waiting room.
"Tim, honey we know how you feel right now." Alexx said softly, sitting down.
"No you don't." he muttered, his voice cracking. "You don't Alexx. I'm sorry but you don't."
----S/C----
"Call us when she wakes up." Alexx said, pulling Tim into a hug. He nodded, too tired to say anything. "I'm sorry."
"Me too." Tim muttered as Horatio gave him a fatherly hug.
"You need anything we're here." he said.
"Thanks H."
The two walked away, leaving Tim to wait for Calleigh to wake up. He walked into her room and sat down in his chair and stared at his wife. She seemed so... small and helpless in the hospital bed. Tim sighed and took Calleigh's hand in his, bringing in to his lips. He kissed it softly.
"I'm sorry." he mumbled. Tim groaned inwardly as he started to tear up again.
'Why do you keep crying?' he thought. 'Probably because you nearly lost Calleigh and you did lose your child.'
Why hadn't Calleigh told him she was pregnant? Did she even know? How was he going to tell her?
A tear hit Calleigh's hand and Tim let out a small cry of frustration. This was his fault. If he had just shot the killer when he had the chance...
"Tim..."
He looked over at Calleigh, who opened her eyes tiredly.
"Hey." he said, a fake smile on his face. "How do you feel?"
"Like crap." Calleigh said truthfully. "Come here..."
Tim gently kissed her.
"I thought I lost you." he murmured.
"Not happening." Calleigh said, smirking softly. "Do you think I'd let some loser killer take me down?"
Tim smiled a little bit.
"Calleigh..."
"Mmm?"
"Did you um... did you know that..." Tim couldn't bring himself to say it.
"Did I what?" Calleigh asked.
"Never mind." Tim replied. 'You coward.' "I love you."
"I love you too. Can we leave?"
Tim laughed quietly.
"Not yet." he said. "Just relax and take it easy."
Calleigh bit her lip. She knew something was wrong and she had a good idea what it was.
"Honey," she started. "There's something I've got to tell you."
'She knows. I can see it.' Tim thought. 'Now what do I do?'
"Monday I um... I found out that I um... I'm pregnant."
'GREAT!' Tim screamed silently. He felt the tears coming back.
"Cal.... the um... the doctor um... he uh..."
He glanced at her and prayed that she was getting the idea. He didn't want to say it.
"Calleigh, don't make me say it." he pleaded. She closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears from flowing but it wasn't working. Tim sat on the bed and pulled her into his arms. "It'll be okay."
"Tim, I'm sorry."
"I'm the one who should be sorry."