Author's note: Hi!
MeryKey: Thanks! You're rapidly becoming my most faithful reviewer…
Mercy: Thank you, I did have a nice Christmas. I got a star named after me ;P I'm glad you're enjoying the story.
Previously on Angel: Cordelia's 'child' is born, despite Angel's attempts to stop it.
Jasmine Shiny Happy People
She crossed the room slowly, picking up a blanket to form a rough dress. "It's all so…"
"Unworthy?" Angel said.
"Wonderful." she corrected him. "Cordelia. Thank you for protecting me and nourishing me. Your spirit has been my shelter, but you can rest easy now. I'm here."
"That's all she wanted." Connor said quietly. "To give you life."
"And I can feel all of it. The cold floor, the air…this skin. Everything is perfect."
"No. It's not." Angel said. "I came here to kill you." He held out his sword to her. "I should be punished."
She took the sword from him, and he lowered his head. "Angel, I can feel your suffering. Now, that suffering is going to end…"
The moment dragged out until he raised his head. He, Connor and Cordelia were alone in the room. The woman had vanished.
Deirbhile was crouched beside Connor, staring from him to Angel and back.
"Are you all right?"
"Where did she go?" Connor was almost dazed, and Deirbhile frowned.
"I don't know. Away, I wasn't…Connor?"
Ignoring her, he looked across at Angel. "We should find her."
"Yeah." Angel thought for a minute. "Let's go back to the hotel. Maybe Wesley can help."
"Right." Connor stood up, picking up the dagger Deirbhile had given him and staring at it blankly.
"You tried to use it on Angel." Deirbhile reminded him. "Stephen…"
"We should go." Still ignoring her, he looked across at Angel again. "So we can find her."
"Right." Angel led the way out of the room; Connor followed without looking back.
Left behind, Deirbhile stared at Cordelia for a long minute. Finally, she knelt beside her and lifted her easily, following Angel and Connor out and back towards the hotel.
They reached the lobby together; Connor went towards the press while Deirbhile lowered Cordelia onto the couch and backed away.
"Drop it, mister!" Fred erupted from the office, holding a long dagger in one hand.
"Don't get too close!" Lorne advised her from behind the desk.
Connor looked from one to the other, vaguely puzzled. "Drop it?"
"You heard me. Drop the knife."
"You're always after me to pick up after myself. I was just gonna put it away."
Fred frowned. "Wait. Are you still evil-ish? Cos I'm confused."
"Guys…" Fred turned, lowering her dagger, to see Angel standing next to Cordelia's couch. "It's OK. He's with me."
"Oh my god…Cordelia!" Fred threw the dagger onto the counter and ran to the couch, followed by Lorne. Behind them, Connor placidly went to put away his knife. "She's not…" Fred looked up at Angel, afraid to continue.
"No." he said quickly. "She's not dead. She's…resting. She's in a peaceful place."
Wes and Gunn came in in time to catch the end of that; Wes dropped his saw and crouched beside Cordelia.
"I meant…she's not pregnant." Fred said.
"Oh. No! Not anymore." Angel smiled.
"Then you were too late? The thing was born?" Wes asked sharply.
"I'm guessing it wasn't a chubby little cherub." Lorne said wistfully.
"Not exactly." Angel agreed.
"But you killed it. It's dead, right?" Gunn demanded.
Angel looked sheepish. "Well, I-I tried. I was going to, but I just…"
Connor came across the room. "You gotta stop torturing yourself, Dad." Angel sank his face into his hands; the others exchanged looks. Halfway up the stairs, Deirbhile folded herself into an even tighter ball. "He was like this all the way back in the car." Connor told Lorne—almost the first thing he'd ever addressed to Lorne that couldn't be construed as threatening.
"It escaped then?" Wes asked briskly.
"Disappeared." Angel agreed sadly. "Didn't even say goodbye."
"Is that, like…baby evil?" Fred asked hopefully.
"I imagine we're not talking about a baby." Wes said.
"No." Connor agreed.
"OK, so what are we dealing with?" Gunn asked. Catching sight of Deirbhile, he added, "You saw it?"
"I saw." Deirbhile agreed.
"Well what was it?"
"Not what you're thinking." Deirbhile told him. "She'll catch you."
"Not running." Gunn pointed out.
"Not relevant. Faith breeds substance and she hasn't much of either right now."
Gunn shook his head, giving up on her, and turned his attention back to Angel. "What are we dealing with?"
"Eight legs, three heads, horns?" Fred added.
"Hey!" Lorne protested.
"No offense."
"Two legs. One head." Connor answered. "No horns."
"Oh, let me guess. Green?" Lorne asked bitterly.
"No. Kind of…mocha…" Angel said distractedly. "We need to find her."
"Agreed." Wes turned, already heading for the weapons cabinet.
"Hope this thing's easier to kill than the Beast." Gunn remarked, following him. Connor and Angel both turned at that.
"Kill?" Connor demanded. "No. No killing."
"Since when?" Gunn asked.
"Since we've all been saved." Angel was deadly serious.
"Oh. Well that's…crazy talk!" Fred protested.
Angel grinned, nudging Connor. "They don't understand."
"No." Connor agreed.
"We don't want to kill her." Angel took Wes's axe. "We just…wanna find her." He took Gunn's sword. "So we can worship her. That's all." He moved inbetween them to put the weapons away.
"She's amazing. You'll go nuts." Connor told them.
"Yeah, that'll definitely help us relate better." Gunn pointed out.
"When you meet her, you'll understand." Angel said happily.
"Angel, whatever you're feeling right now, it's some form of enchantment." Wesley said carefully.
"Yeah…"
"It's a spell. Think. Even before its' birth, this thing controlled Cordelia. Caused her to do unspeakable things. It's evil. Remember the rain of fire? Permanent midnight? The horrors done in its' name…"
"Must be rectified."
Everyone turned to look at the new person; Deirbhile unfolded from the stairs and crossed to stand beside Connor. He dropped instantly to his knees, echoed by Angel, as they realized who was standing just inside the door.
"My god…" Lorne breathed.
"People keep saying that." the woman noted with a smile. Lorne knelt.
"I'm just gonna…do this…" Fred dropped to her knees. Behind her, Gunn followed suit.
"For so long, you've all been drowning. In the fighting, and the pain. I'd like to help. If you'll have me."
Wes knelt. "Tell us what to do."
The woman looked at Deirbhile, who was the only person still on their feet. "Thariin. How nice to see you."
"I'm sure it is." Deirbhile agreed. "It's not so pleasant on this side, though."
"Deirbhile!" Connor hissed.
"No, Connor. It's all right." The woman smiled at them both.
"I'm not afraid of you." Deirbhile said, almost conversationally.
"Good. I don't want anyone to be afraid of me." She cocked her head to one side. "You are afraid, though. What is it?"
Deirbhile's gaze ticked for a second to Connor.
"I see. You needn't worry. I could no more hurt my father than you could."
"Doesn't reassure me."
"Really? That's a shame."
"Tara, enough." Connor said quietly. Deirbhile looked at him in frustration, but she didn't speak again.
Connor and Angel rose and Angel lifted Cordelia; he started up the stairs with her. The woman followed, Connor followed her, and the rest of Angel Inc went after her.
"Damnit!" Deirbhile muttered, following them reluctantly. She could feel the woman trying to find a way into her mind as she had the others, but Deirbhile was doing her best to keep her out.
In Cordelia's room the woman was busy telling them her life story; Gunn summed it up by saying dazedly, "You're a Power…that was?"
Deirbhile ignored the story, sitting quietly beside Connor's chair. The only part that caught her attention was when the woman claimed responsibility for Connor.
"I needed a miracle. And so I arranged one. Through you, Angel, through Darla. That is where my parentage begin. Two vampires, creatures once human, corrupted by darkness. And you with a soul…a miracle already."
"But how?" Angel asked.
"Through Lorne. The day Lorne sent Angel and human Darla into the trials to earn a new chance at life."
"I failed…" Angel protested quietly.
"No. You earned that life. And there it is." She gestured to Connor.
"Liar." Deirbhile said quietly.
"I'm sorry?" she asked politely.
"Connor doesn't belong to you."
"Connor is my father, not my possession."
"You didn't make him."
"Tara, be quiet." Connor said, suddenly fierce. Deirbhile stared at him, wide-eyed.
Connor turned to look up at the woman again. "I'm sorry. She won't interrupt again."
"She has doubts. That's normal. I can help." She reached to touch Deirbhile, but the Elf pulled away, slamming into the wall behind Connor's chair. "Ah, well. When I'm finished, maybe.
"All these events unfolded that I might reenter this psychical plane."
"All the events we've witnessed these last months…all the badness…it was birth pains." Wesley mused.
"But the storm has passed." The woman told them earnestly.
"And here comes the sun." Lorne said, smiling.
"Cordelia…" Angel murmured. "Will she wake up?"
"If we take hold of the world, strip away the thorns, win the battle…then yes. I think she will."
"How do we do that?" Fred asked dazedly.
"One evil at a time. Much damage has been done to the world. There are demons, forces of hate all over this city."
"We're going to destroy them." Fred said eagerly.
"We're going to change the world." The woman agreed.
"Finally." Angel murmured.
Deirbhile skulked along behind them as they found a gang of vampires and fought it. She watched, frowning, as Angel Inc fought with almost manic energy; from Connor she expected that, but the others were well-trained enough to know that that kind of carelessness could get very expensive.
A vampire came up behind her suddenly; Deirbhile sidestepped, letting him past her to where Fred and the woman were sitting. She watched blandly as the vampire scratched her arm, leading Angel to follow him, yelling, out of the building. Connor followed on his heels; the others were behind him. Deirbhile came up in time to see the woman reach towards a young man who was crying helplessly, trying to shy away from her.
"Don't touch me…please don't touch me…" he was crying, but he hadn't the energy to pull away.
Deirbhile caught the woman's wrist before she could touch him, staring her straight in the eyes.
"You can't stop me." the woman whispered, too quietly for anyone else to hear.
"Watch me." Deirbhile responded.
"I know why you're here. As long as Connor follows me, you can't do anything to stop me."
"Watch me." Deirbhile repeated, almost inaudibly.
She pulled away from Deirbhile, reaching to touch the man's cheek lightly before saying softly, "Wesley?"
I'll call an ambulance." Wesley said, turning away from the scene."All of you, so loving, so strong. How can I ask you to understand that a man like this, so full of fear, anger, so alone—he will always be alone, but we have found each other." The woman smiled serenely.
Deirbhile trailed the group back to the hotel, determinedly not listening as they tried to pick a name for the woman.
"What about Helen?" Gunn suggested.
"Helen." Wesley said thoughtfully.
They were sitting on the stairs in the lobby, cleaning the weapons they'd just used.
"It's got a ring." Gunn said defensively.
"Yes, it does." Wes agreed. "However, something along the lines of…" he thought for a moment. "Dianthia. Or Iphigenia."
"Those are some long lines. "Gunn teased.
"Or Aristophila, which means…"
"Supreme lover of mankind." the woman said with a smile. "That's lovely."
"Well, Helen was my grandma's name." Gunn protested.
"Helen is lovely too." she assured him.
"All right." Wes said determindly. "What about…"
"Clorox." Fred blurted from the stairs.
"Clorox. She bleaches away the hate." Gunn said, grinning.
"Probably best we avoid brand names." Wes suggested. Gunn nodded in agreement.
"No, I…I meant the shirt. I know I can get this stain out."
"It's not important, Fred."
"No, it is." Fred insisted. "I can make it good as new again."
"It's just cloth." Deirbhile murmured, and was ignored. "It's not spun gold or anything."
"There's really no need. It's just a shirt."
"But it's yours." Fred was on the verge of tears. "And it was on you, on your holy bodiness. And it's my fault you were attacked."
The woman stood. "Nonsense. There is no fault. It was a new and vivid experience. To be able to bleed, feel things, anything—even pain—is a gift. You people take your senses for granted."
"Club soda!" Fred blurted, spinning and running back upstairs.
Gunn laughed. "May as well let her do her thing."
"Yes, Fred can be quite single-minded when she's focused on a problem." Wes agreed.
"Yeah." Gunn said fondly.
"You love her very much—both of you. Don't you see? You both have the same love. That should bring you closer together, not drive you apart." the woman urged softly.
Connor came downstairs, stepping over Deirbhile without even really registering her. He dropped the bandages he'd been carrying on the seat and gestured awkwardly towards the woman. "I'm sorry you got hurt."
"Oh?" She lifted the towel from her arm and smiled in satisfaction.
The cut had healed completely.
"But…there was so much blood." Connor said, startled.
"I heal quickly. It must be a benefit of being a former power, I guess."
"Or a benefit of being something else." Deirbhile said loudly.
"Will you stop?" Connor demanded, turning on her.
"No, I won't." she retorted.
"Leave her be, Connor. She's not harming anyone." The woman smiled magnanimously at her. "In time, she'll come to see as clearly as you do."
Deirbhile shuddered, gripping the banister tightly. "No I won't."
"We'll see." the woman promised softly.
"What was wrong with that man?" Connor asked, studying the bandages intently. "Why did he want to hurt you?"
"I'm not sure. Some people can't accept change. It scares them, and that fear becomes hatred, and they take that hatred out on others...or on themselves." She rose quietly to her feet, smiled at everyone, and went out onto the porch.
Connor rounded on Deirbhile. "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing's wrong with me." She rose to her feet, throwing off the meek persona she'd been using. "You're the blind one. She's not…"
"Enough." Connor cut her off. "If you can't be with us on this, just leave."
"You can't make me go."
"If you…"
"Connor." she cut him off. "You can't make me go. Whatever you do, I'm staying with you."
"I don't care." He pushed past her, looking now at the door the woman had just gone through. "Just stay out of my way."
He left then, followed rapidly by Wes and Gunn. Deirbhile grimaced after them and made for the 'phone.
A week or so later the news reported a dramatic decrease in crime. It was, of course, attributed to the police, rather than the fact that Angel Inc had spent most of their time wading through demon blood.
"Hm. A little credit for the 'Divinity behind the scenes' wouldn't suck." Angel muttered, turning it off.
"It's not important who gets the credit." the woman assured him. "What matters is that we're winning."
"If we keep going at this rate…" Wes mused.
"LA's gonna be one big, fat no-demon zone. Hello, garden city." Gunn finished.
"You never doubted us." Angel said, staring worshipfully at the woman. "Not for a second."
"There's no room for doubt, Angel. Only love."
Deirbhile grinned suddenly from her corner. "Do you think, if you tried, you could use more clichés? They're just so entertaining."
"Deirbhile…" Connor said warningly.
"Bite me." she muttered.
"Don't tempt me." Angel warned her.
Lorne came in in time to catch the end of that, but he decided not to comment.
"Hey, we made the news." Connor told him. "'Dramatic decrease in southland murders this week'."
"Oh, hey, so much for that nagging apocalypse. Hey, uh…" he looked at the woman. "Speaking of dramatic, I've got a smidge of surprise for you upstairs."
"Surprises. They're one of my favorite things about being human." She laughed happily, following Lorne upstairs. Deirbhile rolled her eyes and scrambled to her feet.
"I'm going out."
"Don't hurry back." Connor said pointedly, glowering at her as he followed the woman upstairs.
"Brat." Deirbhile muttered, leaving before anyone else could say anything.
She kept away all day and into the evening, tracing their movements as best she could. Fred left hurriedly at one point, but Deirbhile lost track of her when the woman left as well. The noise the woman was making blocked everything else.
Deirbhile was sitting on the fountain when Fred came back, ignoring and being ignored by the people rushing past.
"Hey." Fred said distractedly. "What's happening?"
"Sheep to the slaughter." Deirbhile informed her, very seriously.
"Uh-huh. That's nice. I have to…"
"He's not going to believe you." Deirbhile told her.
"Excuse me?"
"Wes. All whitewashed on the inside. No room for anything dark or wrong."
"You're wrong." Fred told her. "Wesley will believe me."
Deirbhile shrugged. "If you say so. Fred?" Her voice had a sudden note of fear, and Fred turned back against her will. "Don't let her touch you, all right?"
"I won't." Fred agreed, turning to go back into the lobby.
"Can I come?" Deirbhile asked, sounding terribly young and lost. "Connor said I wasn't to, but if you say…"
"Sure." Fred agreed with a forced smile, half-turning and holding out her hand. Deirbhile's sanity came and went, it seemed, but they were rarely surprised at anything she did anymore. "Come on, but don't get in the way, all right? I don't know what's going to happen."
"Be good." Deirbhile murmured, almost to herself. "Blackwash the whitewash. Make it all bad again. Take away the light."
Fred refused to listen to her, refused to let the words have any meaning, as she left her with Lorne and looked for Wes.
"Fred? What's wrong?"
"I need you." She tugged him away from the people he'd been talking with, to where they wouldn't be overheard. "If I told you something—you know, that you maybe didn't want to hear, even…you'd trust me, right?"
"Of course." Wes said benignly.
"I…went to see that man from the restaurant."
"The attacker?" Wes asked in surprise. "Why?"
"That's what I wanted to know…why he would do something like that. Wesley, he saw something. We both s-saw something. I needed to know if it was the same thing."
"And?"
"It was. Wesley, I know you're going to find this hard to believe, but…"
Deirbhile stirred, pulling gently at Lorne's sleeve. "Hmm? What is it, pet?" Lorne asked.
"Everyone's angry." she informed him seriously.
"Really?" Lorne asked, looking across the lobby. It was crammed with people, but they were being remarkably calm. "Couldn't prove it by this lot."
"Upstairs, she's angry. Down here, she's angry." Deirbhile trailed off, watching Wes cross the lobby as Connor and Angel and the woman came onto the balcony.
"I have to go." Lorne told her. "You OK?"
"Yup. Gonna talk to Fred." She grinned brightly at him and crossed to stand next to Fred. "Fred, they're coming. They're on to you. Get away."
"What?" Fred asked, jarred.
"I told you. He doesn't believe you. They're gonna come get you."
Fred stared at her for a minute before backing slowly towards the weapons case, arming herself discreetly.
"Not that one, Fred." Deirbhile said softly, taking the dagger she'd been about to hide. "Take this one."
"That's your one, isn't it? What's it doing in here?"
"Connor's, now." Deirbhile said ruefully. Placing the dagger in Fred's hand, she slashed it quickly over her own fingers, wincing.
"Deirbhile!" Fred started to cry, then cut herself off. "What are you doing?"
"Distracting Connor for you. Can't do anything about the others, but he's mine. I have leeway." Glancing at Fred, she hissed, "Hurry up!"
Fred turned to find all of AI staring straight at them; the sole exception was Connor, who seemed to be suffering a dizzy spell and was clinging to the balcony rail.
"I'm sorry." she breathed, and shot her crossbow at the woman.
"I know you helped Fred get away." Connor said later.
"You said you didn't care what I did." Deirbhile reminded him. Connor snorted.
"That's not what I meant, and you know it. Why would you help her?"
Deirbhile shrugged, rubbing at the side of her hand; Connor noticed the movement and caught her wrist, examining the fading scar dispassionately. "Fred's always been nice to me."
"And you don't like her." Connor noted, putting an emphases on 'her'.
"No. I don't."
"Why not?" Connor asked, letting go of her hand.
"She's not what she looks like."
"I know that." he said.
"I know you know it. Just think for a minute, Connor. You know Fred. She's a bit impulsive, but not on this scale. No way she'd try to kill someone without research."
"That man did." Connor pointed out.
"That man saw a monster coming at him. He was actually very brave." She rose from her seat and knelt next to him. "Connor, I know you know she's not…so why are you following her?"
"Why not?" he muttered without looking at her.
"It's not real! You think she's giving you a family, but she's not, Connor. It's a lie. Eventually you won't be useful any more, and she'll swallow you up. All gone."
"Is that so different from you?" he asked bitterly.
"Yes! Connor…" She trailed off, looking away. "I'm not…I can't tell you any better than I have already. You know who I am and what I want."
"I know what you say." Connor returned. "With her I feel it, inside."
"You've felt things with me. You know you have." She knelt up, touching the side of his face to make him look at her. "I've watched you. You've felt that. You've been protecting me for…I can't think right now. A long time, anyway."
"You're loopy." Connor said, sounding at best vaguely interested.
Deirbhile laughed, almost hysterical. "Yes. You're only just now realizing this?"
"More than normal." He eyed her cautiously. "You're not going to do anything stupid, are you?"
"Define stupid."
Connor snorted, amused in spite of himself. "We're going to get her, you know."
"You're going to try." Deirbhile agreed. "Where is she?"
"Jasmine…" Connor hesitated to enjoy the name. "…is going on the TV."
"Why?"
"To spread her love."
Deirbhile snorted softly, catching herself and glancing worriedly at him. "Sorry. You're not going to catch her."
"Wesley and Gunn are going after her tomorrow morning. They'll get her."