A/N: Yup I'm back. Not that anyone is likely to be reading this, but that's okay. BTW Violet is from Hogfather so if you've never read it you won't know who she is.

Disclaimer: I own noboby. Even the plot, since there isn't one.

All of the characters were in the jail cell. Voldemort had backed Hermione against the wall. "WHERE IS HARRY POTTER." He roared

Hermione was trembling. "I don't know, really." She said. "we were in Potions, and Snape took all the Slytherins, 'cept Draco here on a field trip to an art museum, then Mcgonagall took all the Griffindors 'cept me an' Neville on a fiel' trip 'cause Neville ha' to finish 'is potion an' I 'ad to 'elp 'im then- WHAT?"

"You're talking like Hadrid, d'you know." Said Neville.

"tha's 'cause Voldemor' 'ere is pullin' my teeth ou'" said 'ermione

"oh." said Neville. "well, Voldemort could you stop pulling her teeth out so we can understand what she says? Why are you pulling her teeth out, anyway? Are you gonna use 'em to make a polyjuice potion?"

"well that's an idea." said Voldemort. "but actually I collect them. I do Violet's job on her day off you know."

"Who's Violet?" asked Neville.

"Her day off is Tuesday, but occasionally Thursday, too." Said Voldemort.

"Who's Violet?" asked Neville.

"She's very nice she gives me ten bucks for every day I do her job."

"Who's Violet?" asked Neville.

"If it weren't for stupid ole' Susan I would of gotten to rescue her, and we would have ridden off into the sunshine together."

"Who's Violet?" asked Neville. "and who's Susan?"

"I visit her apartment, occasionally. Violet's that is."

"WHO'S VIOLET?" asked Neville.

Suddenly Death was behind them. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT SUSAN? He said.

Voldemort turned around. He looked nervous. "er...very nice girl"

YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT, Death said

"well...not exactly"

WHY NOT

"You listen here sir. Don't you go having at attitude with me."

Death pulled an hourglass out of his robes. WHAT A SHAME. He said

"Sorry," said Harry, who had just appeared, "but what's a shame?" then he disappeared.

HE'S NOT DUE TO DIE TODAY, replied Death

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shrieked Voldemort. "WHERE DID HE GO? WORMTAIL!"

Wormtail appeared. "yes, master?"

"bring me the boy." Voldemort ordered.

"yes master." Wormtail disappeared.

"WORMTAIL!" Voldemort screamed.

Wormtail reappeared. "YOOOOUUUU RAAAANNNNNGGGGGG?"

"HEY!" Harry shouted, after appearing again. "You're not Lurch!"

"oh, really?" Wormtail looked in the mirror that Hermione had so helpfully conjured. "you're right." He disappeared and suddenly Lurch appeared.

"YOOOOUUUU RAAAANNNNNGGGGGG?" Then Morticia and Gomez appeared.

"Gomez, dear, where are we?" asked Morticia.

"I don't know, Morticia darling." Said Gomez.

"Oh, look, it's Thing." said Gomez, indicating Thing who had come through the window.

"thank you, thing." Said Morticia taking the piece of paper Thing held out. "You are in a jail cell," she read. "well that certainly cleared that up."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the jail cell, Vetinari was having hysterics. "DEAD!" he yelled. "HOW DARE YOU! I'M NOT IN THE LEAST DEAD! DEATH, AM I DEAD?"

Death pulled an hourglass out of his cloak. YES, he said.

"NO I AM NOT!" Vetinari yelled. He tapped Neville on the shoulder. "Sir, do I look dead?"

Neville looked at him thoughtfully. "er...you've kinda gone all transparent..."

Vetinari looked in the mirror that Neville had so helpfully conjured. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO" he shouted.

Suddenly Inigo and Wesley appeared. "My name is Inigo Montoya." said Inigo Montoya. "You killed my father. Prepare to die!" He looked around. "where are we?"

Meanwhile on the other, other side of the jail cell...

"Foaly, I need a blueprint, of this building." Said Holly.

"I'm not supposed to help you with this mission, Holly," said Foaly.

"WELL, ROOT'S NOT HERE!" shouted Holly.

"Okay, Okay."

"now, about those blueprints..."

"what blueprints?"

"the blueprints of this building!"

"But I don't have a computer!"

"SO MAKE ONE!"

"I HAVE NO SUPPLIES!"

Just then Mendenbar showed up with his sword. "I will create your supplies!"

Holly grabbed the sword. It bit her but she didn't notice. "hey! It's the sword of the sleeping King!" the sword bit her again. She gave it back to Mendenbar. He conjured the supplies and Foaly built the computer. It was very big. The jail cell was very crowded. It now held Voldemort, Hermione, Draco, Neville, Harry, Lurch, Morticia, Gomez, Vetinari, Death, Inigo, Wesley, Artemis, Holly, Foaly, Juliet, Mendenbar, Cimorene, Shiara, Telemain, and the computer.

It wasn't very big.

The whole building internally combusted.

WHAT A SHAME, said Death.