Chapter 4: of Spelling Bees and hairbrushes
A/N: Wheeeeeeeeeee! I'm back! You couldn't have guessed, could you?
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except for Tater, Macaroon, Chin-Chin, Salem, and Truffle. I have part ownership in them. They're my kittens.
ThePideon: No, my sister's right. I have more characters than I can handle. So no more. Sorry. But actually there will be, in a wayâif you keep reading you'll find out.
Katie: I know it's funny. At least according to nearly everyone whose read it. Even mom. Seriously, she laughed. Anyways, I know I have more characters than I can handle. That should be taken care of next chapter or so. And I don't like grammar. It's a waste of time. PS: Now you know to hide the sugar bowl when I come into the room. And now you also know why mom won't let me drink anything with caffeine in it. Because caffeine has approximately the same effect as sugar, does it not?
A/N Now this story has begun! Well not has begun, but will begin. Anyway.
And remember: Your hairbrush isn't so innocent either.
THIS TAKES PLACE AT THE SPELLING BEE!
The prophecy was made by Harry. Because Trelawney rubbed off on him. It said that one person would not survive the spelling bee (mwahahaha). And Harry said he could pick who didn't because it was his prophecy, wasn't it?
"Attention, attention." Said King Kazul. Because you were reading about Harry's prophecy, and not paying attention to her. Shame on you! "thiseth spelling bee willeth now starteth." She announced. Because she wanted to sounds cool. It didn't work. She just sounded stupid.
"The first word goes to Arty." said the referee. "And the first word isâhippopotapotamus."
"hippopotamus." Said Artemis, "h-i-p-p-o-p-o-t-a-m-u-s. Hippopotamus."
"Wrong!" said the referee cheerfully. "Moldy?"
"hippopotapotamus." Said Moldypants. "H-i-p-p-o. Hippopotapotamus."
"Nope!" said the referee. "Next word" It continued on like this until
"Right. Now Voldyâyour turn. Your word isâ Avada Kedavra!"
"Avada Kedavra." said Voldemort, not realizing that he was holding his wand as a result of a small scuffle that had resulted from a word thatâbut anyway he was holding his wand as he said the words and as he said them the referee dropped dead.
"HA!" Harry yelled. "I was so right! So there!"
"This spelling bee is OV-AH" announced Morimoto. (Who then disappeared because I have enough characters already thank you very much.)
"Oh, is that how you do it?" Hermione asked. "Avada Kedavra!" She yelled. Voldemort was dead. He didn't mind.
"Now I get to be just like Vetinari!" said he.
"It's not that great, trust me." said the Patrician.
Suddenly Cimorene burst into tears. "I want my mommy," She said.
"There, there Cimorene." said the Frog. "Your um, mommy was the reason you ran away in the first place remember?"
Cimorene brightened right up. "Yeah, that's right! How could I be so stupid? Mwahahahaha!"
"Good girl." said the Frog.
Suddenly Cimorene burst into tears again. "I want my Daystar," she sobbed.
Suddenly Chin-Chin, Truffle, Macaroon, Tater, and Salem appeared. "Hi!" They said. "We're the," They struck a pose. "Funny Munchkins! Whenever someone is sadâwe'll be there! Whenever someone needs to be cheered upâwe'll be there! Whenever someone is turned pinkâwell we won't necessarily be there."
Macaroon wanted to sit on Cimorene's lap. Because that's what kittens are supposed to do, isn't it? But since Cimorene was standing up, se decided she would have to settle for her shoulder. Since Cimorene was quite tall, he decided he would have to take the vertical route –straight up.
"OW!" Cimorene yelled, feeling Macaroon's claws sink into her legs. "That HURTS!"
King Kazul laughed, evilly. "Now you know how I feel! They do that to us every day at dinner! You would think if they wanted to sit on my lap that much they would jump but no, they have to climb."
Suddenly, Inigo, Wesley, Morticia, Gomez, and Thing disappeared. "What just happened?" asked Hermione, who hadn't been paying attention.
"I sent all the television characters back to their televisions." said King Kazul.
"Why?" asked Susan who had been having a secret love affair with Inigo Montoya. "They were cool."
"I'm mad at television." said King Kazul. "My show's not on tonight."
Suddenly they found a secret message. It said:
"Huh?????????????" said Shiara.
"I think I know!" said Macaroon. She hadn't actually seen the message, being on top of Cimorene's shoulder, but she had special powers. Unfortunately, No one heard her, as King Kazul thought that for the sake of convenience it would make more sense for Hermione to decode the message.
"I know what it says!" said Hermione. "It's in BrailleâI learned it in seventh grade. It saysâshe read the message slowly and painstakingly "âhello"
"You're not fluent, are you," said King Kazul.
"Yes I am!" said Hermione defensively.
"You're not."
"I am!"
"No."
"Yes!"
"No."
"Yes!"
"No."
"Yes!"
"No."
"Yes!"
"Then why'd it take so long for you to read the one word?"
"Braille is a very complex language!" Hermione said angrily. "You wouldn't knowâyou've probably never even heard of it!"
"As a matter of fact," said King Kazul loftily. "I learned it in fifth grade."
"âoh" said Hermione.
"Hey, Hermione," said Harry who had been staring thoughtfully out the window.
"Yes, Harry." said Hermione patiently.
"I was wonderingâYou said that you learned it in seventh grade, but you would have been in seventh grade when you were twelve or thirteen, wouldn't you? And you were at Hogwarts then. So'
"Oh, Harry you mean I haven't told you?" said Hermione horrified. "I skipped first, second, and third years and went straight to fourth, with you guys."
"Yeah, right Hermione." Said Harry. "We went to school with you in 1st , 2nd and 3rd years, remember?"
"Oh, that wasn't me." said Hermione. "That was my sister Geremino."
"Oh, right." Said Harry. "She's the lead singer on the Weird Sisters.
"Hermione, I feel so hurt that you never told me this." Said Draco sadly. "For all the years we've been going out"
Harry's scream echoed around the world and back again, seven times.
A/N: Will Harry ever recover from the news? Will Hermione ever tell Ron the secret? And who will be the Funny Munchkins' next victim? Find out in chapter 5 Of Treehouses and the Ex oh god of Hangovers. If you review I will post it. If not, thenâShame on you!