I was given this wonderful idea by Phoenixblade-necklace, and will probably be very...uh, amusing to write!

(Thank you, all you nice reviewers, who're sending in ideas.)

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, or the Brothers Grim.

RumpleHiei

Once upon a time there was a peasant girl named Keiko.

Now this girl could do just about anything—put out fires, save children from car accidents (even though they didn't have cars at this time), write books, run miles, be the perfect daughter, and still manage to pull off strait A's in school.

But she couldn't spin straw into gold.

REMEMBER that. It's very important.

One day King Yusuke was going through his kingdom, being the good king that he was ("Aw, mom, do I hafta?").

Keiko's dad, not being the smartest cookie in the box, decided that he had to get his daughter and the king to meet. No matter what.

But what the heck could he say to impress this king? He had everything—gold, riches, jewels...wait.

"My daughter can spin straw into gold!" He informed the king quite suddenly. He reasoned that the king would be impressed by something like this, but because he already had everything, his daughter wouldn't be in any danger.

Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "Right."

"No, she really can." By now Keiko's father was desperate, and (not being the smartest cookie, if you'll remember) went on. "She can spin whole rooms of the stuff!"

"Really?" Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "Then how come you're poor?"

"'Cause, uh...we gave it all away! Yep, that girl is kind as well as talented."

Now, I'm going to add here that Yusuke also wasn't what you'd call...smart.

"Fine. Bring the girl to the castle." Yusuke nodded. "That's it. If she can spin one room of straw, she can marry me."

That's when his advisor chose to interrupt.

"Yusuke," Hiei put his hand on the king's shoulder. "May I have a word with you?"

"Sure." He turned back to Keiko's father. "I'll be right back."

Once they were out of earshot, Hiei leaned over and hissed, "That peasant is obviously lying."

"He is?"

"He is." Hiei smiled winningly. "Now, if you don't want the peasants to think that you're weak, you have to make an actual punishment. If the girl can't do as her father asked."

"Like..." Yusuke thought for a bit. "Like having a lecture from my mom?"

Hiei inwardly winced. "No, like death."

"Whoa, man. Isn't that just a little harsh?"

"Isn't lying to the king 'just a little harsh'?"

Yusuke thought it over. Hiei had been loyal to the royal family for years...it made sense to trust the little maniac.

So Yusuke informed Keiko's dad of what was too happen, and went home, feeling a great deal happier.

He might even get a wife out of this.

Over at Keiko's house...

"YOU DID WHAT?"

The next day...

Yusuke looked at the girl. She was pretty.

But he knew what to do.

(FLASHBACK TO THE NIGHT BEFORE)

Hiei: You must get three roomfuls of gold out of the girl.

Yusuke: Uh...why?

Hiei (twitchy eye): Because I said so. At the end of it all, you can marry her.

Yusuke: Um...'kay?

(END FLASHBACK)

"Hey, you're Keiko?" Yusuke grinned down at her reassuringly.

"Um, yes," she nervously smiled back.

Hiei frowned. "Okay, enough pleasantries, let's go get you set up." Pushing past Yusuke, he dragged Keiko up to her room.

That night...

Keiko glared at the straw.

Then she glared at the spinning wheel.

"How the heck do they expect me to do this?" she spoke aloud.

"Maybe I can help you," a mysterious figure appeared.

Keiko stared. "Eeeeeeeeeeeek! IT'S A PEEPING TOM!!! SOMEONE HELP!"

"Quiet!" The figure hissed. "I have not come to peep. I have come to help you." That shut Keiko up really fast. "I will spin the straw into gold for you, if you give me that ring on your finger."

Well, that makes no sense, Keiko thought. He can spin roomfuls of gold, but he wants my ring. He must just be a really be negotiator.

Going with this reasoning, she handed him her ring, and watched him get to work.

The next day...

Yusuke smiled warmly at the girl. "Congratulations! I'd be happy to make you my..." Hiei tapped him on the shoulder. "Oh yeah. Um, one more room filled with gold, if you wouldn't mind.

Keiko sighed.

That night...

Keiko looked at the dark figure. "Look I have nothing else to give you, okay?"

The figure stared at her. "That necklace will do nicely..."

The next day (This is getting old)...

Yusuke beamed at Keiko. "Only one more room!"

She smiled weakly.

That night (Are you guys still actually reading the bold print?)...

"What else could I possibly give you?" Keiko asked the figure miserably. She noticed it looking at her again. "Ew! I'm not giving you my dress, sicko!"

"That's not what I wanted!" it snapped. "Give me your first born child."

"No," Keiko said, crossing her arms and glaring.

The figure pointed outside to the noose that had been hung, should she not complete her task.

And Keiko caved.

The next day (Look! A pony! BWHAHAHAHA! Made you look!)...

Yusuke and Keiko were married.

Everyone was happy, and they did eventually fall madly in love, even if Yusuke was an idiot, and Keiko was a control freak.

And then Keiko got pregnant.

(Please, don't ask how. This fic was rated PG for a reason.)

Nine months, two weeks, and six days later...

Keiko and Yusuke stared at the baby girl.

"Tenchi."

"Kaida."

And they couldn't agree on names.

"Tenchi," Keiko snapped, "is a beautiful name."

"Kaida's cooler," Yusuke grumbled.

That's when Hiei waltzed up, and held out his arms. "Okay, gimme the baby."

"Okay," Yusuke agreed.

"What?" Keiko frowned. "Why?"

"Did you forget the promise you made to me?"

Yusuke looked from Keiko's shocked face to Hiei. "What? Did I miss something?"

"She promised me her first born child for a room filled with gold," Hiei informed him. "But I'm willing to give you both a second chance."

Keiko raised her eyebrows. "Why?"

Hiei shrugged. "Because this story has a crappy plot. Anyway, if you can guess my name, I'll let you keep your baby."

"I know this one!" Yusuke said cheerfully. "Hiei!"

"No, that's not my real name." Hiei grinned. "You have three hours to figure out my name."

"But in the original story, we had three days!" Keiko cried angrily. "You're cheating us out of sixty-nine hours!"

"Yep." Hiei smirked. "I'm bad."

"Anyway," Keiko waved her hand. "I already know your name. It's RumpleHiei."

Hiei twitched.

"Damn you! How'd you find out?"

Keiko rolled her eyes. "It's the name of this fic, stupid. It wasn't that hard to guess."

"Why'd you do it, RumpleHiei?" Yusuke demanded.

RumpleHiei twitched. "Because I enjoy the sufferings of others. BWHAHAHAHA!!!" Laughing evilly, RumpleHiei ran from the room, hitchhiked to Japan, and was only seen one hundred years later in a popular anime.

Keiko, the baby (who really isn't going to be named in this fic), and Yusuke all looked at one another.

Yusuke's mind slowly came to a conclusion. "Never speak of this again?"

Keiko looked in the distance, and could barely make out a short laughing figure. "Never speak of this again," she agreed.

The End

Two Yusuke/Keiko ficlets in a row. That's neat.

I guess.

And you know, you guys can feel free to send in all the suggestions you want!

(Author looks pleadingly out to the audience.)

(Wonderfully kind readers get started on reviews.)