Author's Note: Just a humorous one-shot story. And a note to some of my reviewers from my previous Yuffentine song fics: I do NOT…I repeat…do NOT take drugs! (Drugs are only for the retarded) I can understand my fics can get a tad weird, but sometimes it's just my style of amusement. So c'mon…show some appreciation…please?
Diclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.
…
I Should Be So Happy
By Charles Xavier
(Parody of 'I Should Be So Lucky' by Kylie Minogue)
…
"Okay guys. Everybody here?"
"HAI!"
Cloud was gifted with a loud cry from all of his AVALANCHE members…well, with the exception of Vincent of course, who was isolated away from the smiley crowd, leaning on a pillar with his arms crossed. But why not? The loner couldn't stand being inside one of Midgar's biggest shopping malls. Over dozens of young teenagers were running from shop to shop non-stop, rowdy children were chasing one after another across the polished floor, and most unbearable for Vincent, cheesy music was playing through speakers built all around the complex.
He wished he'd never come…but even worse, Yuffie was present.
Barret went to the workout gym to do some weightlifting, Cid was off to the toy shop seeking cuddly moogle dolls for himself, Red XIII decided to explore the book store to look at some kitty magazines, Cait bounced away to the electronics store to see if he could find a better megaphone, while Cloud and Tifa decided to go shopping together in the food market.
And that had left Yuffie and Vincent behind…unfortunately.
"Vincent, would you mind accompanying Yuffie around the mall?" Tifa asked him nicely. "You never know what that girl might be up to, you know. And we don't want to get into trouble like last time, remember?"
Vincent remembered, but didn't want to think back to that embarrassing moment.
"Fine." Vincent nodded firmly.
"YIPEE!" Yuffie leaped with sheer delight. "I get to go out with Vinnie!"
…
Several hours had passed. Vincent was growing exhausted following the spoilt little ninja running everywhere in this endless maze filled with glorious but expensive items in every shop they visited. By the time they reached the Materia store, Yuffie felt she was entering eternal paradise…
"How do you like this Ice3 Materia?" Yuffie shoved the round admirable object in the man's tired face. "How much you think it's worth?"
Vincent looked at it uninterested and shrugged his shoulders.
"Gee, Vinnie…you look drained…you look as pale as white cabbage. Didn't you get any sleep last night?"
"Yuffie…"
"Yeah?"
"For the last four hours, you have done nothing but shop lift in each store we've visited."
"So?"
"So why bother asking about its price…? After all, you never purchase anything. And it makes me wonder when you're really going to grow up from being this immature, infantile child like you are."
"I-I-Immature…? I-I-Infantile…?" Yuffie released her grip on the Materia she held and dropped it as her temper scale began to rise volcanically. Clutching her fists infuriated at Vincent for his smart ass remark, she was on the verge of slapping him on the face. "WHY…!"
"Yes…?"
"Let me tell you something, you fruitcake!" Yuffie poked a finger onto Vincent's arm with angry force. "I am anything…ANYTHING…but immature or infantile! YOU HEAR ME!"
"…"
"I should be glad that I've got the brains and spunk to do whatever I wish wherever I am! Unlike some jerks like you who just mourn over dead people like that silly Lucy goosy of yours!"
"Well." Vincent sighed, turning his head away. "There's Yuffie in a nutshell for you…you always think you're so lucky with everything, don't you? I bet you feel happy about it all."
"OF COURSE I DO!" Yuffie snapped back at him. "I SHOULD be so happy! More happyy than any of those pants-crapping retards in AVALANCHE! In fact come to think of it, there's one person in my mind that I should feel REALLY happy about!"
"Your father?"
"No."
"Then, who?"
"Oh, I'll show you…HIT IT!"
A great volume of electronic music suddenly boomed out from every speaker in the mall, scaring people half out of their skin. The music soon flooded every shop, making everyone dance into a frenzy but hypnotic groove. Meanwhile, lights of all shapes and sizes moved about and flickered uncontrollably, changing colors every half second. And at the center of the mall, there descended a giant sparkling disco ball, with glimmering lights that were reflected on its silvery surface.
"Yuffie…?"
When Vincent returned his glance at Yuffie, she had gone under a drastic change of appearance. She was now wearing a blood satin dress, red high heels, two silver dangly earrings, had red lipstick on and most eerie of all, she was wearing a blonde curly wig…making her look exactly like (gasp)…Kylie Minogue!
AIIIIIII! THE HORROR!
…
In my own admirations,
There are no complications,
I dream about you all the time.
In my mind a great elation,
The sweetest of sensation,
Thinking you could be mine.
…
In my own admirations,
There are no hesitations,
We skip together hand in hand.
I'm dreaming:
You fall on knees to me,
Like I'm on knees to you.
But dreaming's all I do,
If only they'd come true.
…
I should be so happy!
Happy! Happy! Happy!
I should be so happy in love!
I should be so happy!
Happy! Happy! Happy!
I should be so happy in love!
…
This is a crazy fanfiction,
You always keep me waiting,
Because it's only make believe.
And I would come a-hugging,
To give you all my loving,
If one day you would notice me.
…
My feelings are close to breaking,
And I can't go on faking,
The fantasy that you'll be mine!
I'm dreaming:
That you would plead to me,
Like I would plead to you.
But dreaming's all I do,
If only they'd come true.
…
I should be so happy!
Happy! Happy! Happy!
I should be so happy in love!
I should be so happy!
Happy! Happy! Happy!
I should be so happy in love!
…
I should be so happy!
So happy! So happy!
I should be so happy!
I, I, I, I,
I should be so happy!
So happy! So happy!
I should be so happy!
I! I! I! I! I! I! I! I! I!
…
"Wh-wh-what are you doing?"
Yuffie took a rose by her teeth, took Vincent by his arms and began performing a Flamenco dance with him at the center of the mall, under the disco ball.
…
In my own admirations,
There are no hesitations,
We skip together hand in hand.
I'm dreaming:
You fall on knees to me,
Like I'm on knees to you.
But dreaming's all I do,
If only they'd come true.
…
I should be so happy!
Happy! Happy! Happy!
I should be so happy in love!
I should be so happy!
Happy! Happy! Happy!
I should be so happy in love!
…
Yeah!
…
I should be so happy!
Happy! Happy! Happy!
I should be so happy in love!
I should be so happy!
Happy! Happy! Happy!
I should be so happy in love!
…
Yeah!
…
I should be so happy!
Happy! Happy! Happy!
I should be so happy in love!
I should be so happy!
Happy! Happy! Happy!
I should be so happy in love!
…
The night continued on…but little did Yuffie know that Vincent had left her long ago. For the lover she thought she was embracing, was nobody but a solid mannequin dressed up in Vincent's clothes. And once Yuffie figured it out, her face puffed up red and she hurled the worthless object aside.
"VINNIE!" She called out. "GET THE HELL BACK HERE!"
…
Vincent fled for his life in his polka dot boxer shorts, and escaped the dreaded mall. It was with no doubt that this was going to be last time he'd ever go out shopping with Yuffie again…
…
Fin