Disclaimer: I don't own anybody. Possibly. So you're not going to sue me. Because if you had a problem with people borrowing other people's characters then you wouldn't be on this site. Unless you were mental. In which case, you might. I don't know. Because although I am of course mental I have no problem with people borrowing other people's characters. Especially if the former person is me. I think. So I have never had a chance to find out.
A/N: I am going to give you a list of characters that will and will not be added to this chapter. That way if you have a problem with it you can leave and if it makes you happy you can R&R. Now that that is all cleared up...
Characters that will make an entry in this chapter:
Quoth (Because I know who he is now. Of course I knew the raven, but I never knew he was named Quoth! It's crazy, I know. But I don't think his name is actually mentioned in Hogfather. And I only read Thief of Time once. But now that I have just reread Thief Of Time...Well actually I haven't finished it I only started it yesterday after all and I've had school...But anyway now I've seen the name Quoth, and know who he is he will be given a part in my fanfic. So, yeah.)
Teatime (Because I absolutely agree. This could be very interesting.)
But no Tiffany. Because I haven't read A Hat Full of Sky or the Wee Free Men or anything else that could possibly feature Tiffany. Because my mom and my sister read them and said there was lots of stuff in them involving animals. And I don't like stuff involving animals. But I might read them and if I do We Will See about Tiffany.
And you'll see about Perdita. I will not see about Perdita because I know what is going to happen!!!!!!!!
Now that I have scared most of my readers off...
THIS TAKES PLACE AT THE PLACE WHERE KING KAZUL IS HOLDING ALL THE CHARACTERS. NOT SOME OF THE CHARACTERS. ALL OF THEM.
Oh I forgot. Your Science teacher is not innocent at all. You must of worn off on him. (or her) Shame on you!
"SO" announced King Kazul. "How y'all doin' today? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?"
"I like it here." Said Rincewind, (of course), "It's so incredibly boring. And no one has threatened my life for at least twenty minutes."
"Well having your life threatened is half the fun of it." said Conina the Hairdresser. "Boy, do I wish I hadn't become a hairdresser. Oh for the life of a barbarian hero..."
"Y'know there aren't any rules that say you can't be a barbarian hero after being a hairdresser." Rincewind pointed out.
"Well!" said Conina clearly appalled. "I have a master's in Hairdressing 101 now. You can't go changing careers at my time in life."
She then disappeared. Because if somehow you didn't notice she wasn't on the list of characters at the beginning of the story. So she had no right to be in this chapter at all. She is a Bad Girl.
"Ook" said the Librarian.
"Hey, all." Said Quoth out of the blue. "'scuse me but where am I?"
SQUEAK, said the Death of Rats.
"No!" said Susan. "Just for once I try to lead a normal life and you have to come spoil it. What does he want now? Oh don't tell me. I have to save the world again. Well I refuse. I just want a normal life. The world can go to (B!EEP) for all I care."
SQUEAK, said the Death of Rats.
"Trust me, we don't want to be here any more than you want us to be here. But I won't say no to any eyeballs if you've got 'em."
SQUEAK, said the Death of Rats.
"No I don't have any eyeballs." said Susan. "Honestly, you think I run a-a-a eyeball shop or something."
SQUEAK, said the Death of Rats
"I have some eyeballs," said King Kazul.
SQUEAK, said...you guessed it! The Death of Rats.
"Really?????" gasped the raven. "No one's ever given me eyeballs before."
SQUEAK, said Susan. Yes, that's right Susan. Which proves that brain transplants really work on tiny, skeletal, rodents.
"I didn't say I was going to give them to you!" said King Kazul.
"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww," said Quoth pouting.
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW," chanted the audience in unison.
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooook" said the librarian.
"I will give you an eyeball if you will carry my briefcase." Said King Kazul.
"Deal!" said Quoth. So he carried her briefcase. She handed him a lemon.
"HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" said everyone. "That's not an eyeball! No fair!"
SQUEAK, said some random person.
"SQUEAK" said everyone else.
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" said some random person.
/Out of cheese error/ said Hex. /although I hate cheese/
"WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" said Ridcully.
"Oh, didn't we tell you?" said Adrian. "He's developed a personality."
"He?" asked Ridcully. "It's an it."
"Ook" said the Librarian.
/I am not an it/ said Hex. /I live therefore I am a he/
"ANYWAYS," said Ridcully loudly. "I meant how could anyone hate cheese? Cheese rules."
"Cheese sucks." Said King Kazul.
"Rules"
/Sucks"
"Rules"
"Sucks/
"rules"
/sucks"
"rules"
"SuCKS/
"RULES"
/SUCKS"
"THAT"S ENOUGH!" said Cimorene. "Geez, what's wrong with you people?"
"HUMPH!" said King Kazul. "THAT WAS RUDE!"
"Yup." said Cimorene.
"Ook" said the Librarian.
"So I can be rude back." said King Kazul. She waved a hand and Cimorene disappeared. To lead a sad and lonely life on top of a mountain.
"That didn't happen" the chief of security told everyone.
"Er..." said Ridcully
"Er..." said the Dean
"Er..." said Ponder Stibbons.
/Er.../ said Hex
"Er..." said the Chair
"Er..." said Rincewind
"Er..." said Lobsang
"Er..." said Granny
"Er..." said Nanny
"Er..." said Agnes
"Ook" said the librarian.
"SHUT UP MONKEY!" said King Kazul.
"EEEEEEEEEEEK!" Said the librarian.
Several minutes later...
"THAT DIDN"T HAPPEN!" said the chief of security.
"OKAY, OKAY" said everybody. Including King Kazul.
And then since they were all in agreement (for once in their lives) the chapter ended.
"Now I will be introducing our Guest star...Bobette the Builder!" said King Kazul.
"mwahaMwAhAMWAHA" said Bobette the builder.
The chief of security whispered something quietly to King Kazul.
"AGAIN!" roared King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul King Kazul. "Don't nobody tell the fanfic writer anything! But nooooooooooooo it's just your little secret. I've had it. You all have detention."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" yelled everyone.
A/N: R&R R&R R&R R&R R&R R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&! NOW! OR YOU WILL BE JOINING EVERYBODY IN DETENTION! AND I AM NOT USING THE CAPSLOCK BUTTON! I HAVE ONE FINGER ON THE SHIFT BUTTON! IT WORKS JUST AS WELL ACTUALLY! THE CAPSLOCK BUTTON IS YOUR FRIEND!
OMFG (Oh my Fred and George) I forgot. Quoth appeared. Because he has to make an entrance. And Teatime appeared. Because he had to make an entrance.