Hello all! Here I am again! Just came back from a vacation in Egypt, and so am specially rushing to put this up to the sweet people who reviewed my story, namely Icy Blossom, Aiko-chan, Gia, and Alice. Without them, I really would never have put this up, 'cause the initial lack of response had been very discouraging. Gosh, thanks, you guys! This is for you!
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The three weeks passed without incident and without Okita's presence, though the kitchens had gained a new visitor, Harada, who, during his free time, came down and flirted with the young maids under the excuse that he was hungry, though it was more to see Jarenna and talk to her. His purpose had been made known after the first week, though, when he asked for Jarenna after not seeing her in the kitchens. In Kimiko's words, "Men are crap at being subtle."
On the other hand, it was appreciated that the Tenth Captain had at least made an effort in subtlety; the Fifth Captain, Takeda Kanryuusai, obviously had not heard of the word. As soon as he'd gotten better, he'd relentlessly pursued Jarenna, having marked her as one of his 'conquests'. The man, who was normally a snivelling stinkweed who had no real opinion of anything, suddenly had developed the tenacity of a pit bull, and it had become almost like a spectator sport for most of the Shinsengumi Fifth Squad members to see how Jarenna dodged his advances time and again.
Bets were placed and wagers were lost as the girl nimbly slipped from his grasp time and again; Takeda had never gotten so much as a customary touch on the hand, which made him the private laughingstock of most of the Shinsengumi men.
Kimiko, on the other hand, did not share the joke. After seeing those two captains hot on her friend's heels, she had silently seethed with envy. Wasn't she the one who had brought the water and most of the bandages? Hadn't she sacrificed most of her sleep helping Jarenna? All her friend did was just take some thread and stitch them up, nothing she couldn't do, and yet she was treated like some kind of heroine or something.
If I had been faster on my feet, she found herself thinking angrily as she caught sight of Harada speaking with Jarenna, a goofy-looking grin on his face instead of the usual cocky one. It could've been me in the limelight. Me talking to Okita-sama, to Harada-sama, to get pursued by Takeda-sama. Not her. Definitely not her.
Now, no one in their right mind would want to be pursued by a man like Takeda Kanryuusai, but Kimiko had been thinking of the attention that it would garner, and it definitely would turn a good few heads in her direction. Releasing her breath in an angry snarl, she scrubbed at the bowls with significantly more force than usual. She had had enough of those men fawning over Yukijurou Jarenna; it was sickening. Jarenna definitely did not deserve that. Kimiko was prettier and perkier, needless to say much more attractive, in the well-endowed sense. It was time to get the attention back to herself.
The sound of voices roused her from her thoughts as she glanced outside quickly to see who was entering. As if their voices were not distinctive enough.
Oh great, speak of the devil. She quickly schooled her features into a bright smile as she turned to her newfound rival, who had just entered with Harada-sama at her side. "Harada-sama! What a pleasure to see youhere again!!"
The pair looked surprised at the sudden outburst of enthusiasm, but the Tenth Captain recovered quickly. "Good to see you too, Kiriko."
This time Kimiko barely suppressed her irritation as she replied. "It's Kimiko, Harada-sama."
"Right. Sorry." He immediately turned his attention to Jarenna, who handed him a bento box.
"I'm not going to do this for you again, Sanosuke-kun," she chided him with a smile. "What if all the other men come in and start wanting extra lunch?"
He flashed her his patented crooked smile. "Why did you have to be such a good cook, then?"
Yeah, right, Kimiko almost snorted. Who doesn't know that he does this only to spend more time with the great Yukijurou Jarenna?
Jarenna, for most part, was completely clueless, having had little or no friendly experience with men prior to this. She simply shook her head. "You're a bottomless pit when it comes to food, Sanosuke-kun. I hope that will last you till dinnertime. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."
"Right." He shrugged, and Jarenna missed the mild disappointment that crossed his handsome face for a split second. "I'll be going then. See you around, Jarenna-san."
…
The kitchen was plunged into silence as the Tenth Captain sauntered out the doors. Jarenna, for most part, was cleaning up the entire place, wiping clean the greasy tabletops. Finally, Kimiko couldn't stand it.
"Well?" she demanded.
Jarenna looked startled at the sudden bark as she blinked. "Well what?"
"Just friends, huh?"
She sighed and put down her cloth. "Kimiko-san, we've been over this. Why are you so obsessed about it? There is nothing going on. Not with me and Harada-sama, or Takeda-sama, or Okita-san--sama--, all right?"
"I don't care about Harada-sama or Takeda-sama, Jarenna!" she snapped irritably, putting down the bowl with a loud bang. "Okita-sama has barely been back ever since the last time he came into the kitchen. Why is that? What did you do?"
Unbidden, memories of that unforgettable morning wafted into her mind. Okita saying that he killed his friend. Okita pulling her to him. Okita crying in her arms, so unlike the swordsman she knew.
A warm flush spread through her body when she remembered him yanking her towards him. Pressed up against that strong chest, she had to admit that she'd lost her bearings for a while, and--
When Kimiko next spoke, she was a lot closer, and Jarenna could see her face getting redder and blotchier by the second. So that was why Kimiko had been giving her the cold shoulder the past few weeks. "What did you do, Jarenna-san?"
"I…I didn't do anything."
"You're always like that, you know!" the other girl exploded. "No, we didn't do anything, we're just friends, nothing happened. Nothing, nothing, nothing! What do you think I am, a moron?!"
Jarenna finally had had enough. This was stupid, and she refused to have anything more to do with it. "Look, Kimiko, you can choose to believe it or not, but I am under no obligation to explain everything I do to you! Okita-san has his own life, and if you want to know so much, why don't you go and ask him that yourself?! I am sick of you being so obsessive and jealous!" her normally gentle brown eyes flashed with anger as she turned to leave the kitchen. "Grow up, Kimiko. You're not twelve anymore!"
The door slammed, leaving Kimiko stunned. She had never seen Jarenna angry before, not at anyone or anybody, but that sudden outburst…Well, at least nothing's going on between Okita-sama and her. If I ever find out that she does, there'll be to pay.
…
Maybe a walk will clear my mind, she thought even as she got her anger under control. It appalled her still that she lashed out like that, but Kimiko really had been too annoying. Combined with her confused thoughts during the past few weeks and the lingering worry of Okita-san's absence, she had finally lost her temper. She cast a cursory glance around to make sure that Takeda-sama was nowhere in her immediate vicinity--she wasn't sure she would be able to deal with his advances right now--before slipping out the gate. She had promised Junko-san that she would be in before sunset to prepare dinner.
With a sigh, she headed northwards. It was a beautiful day today, the sun wasn't as warm as usual, and from the looks of it, autumn was setting in sooner than she'd thought; some of the leaves were already turning gold. It was always a beautiful sight, watching gold leaves flutter to the ground in a silent beckon to winter. Sad, but full of meaning.
It's only through death that you can find life, she thought as she knelt to pick up a leaf, her thoughts full of Okita. For some reason, she could not get his anguish-ridden face out of her mind. To think that he was dealing with this alone…it pained her all over again, and once more, she wondered what he was doing now. Was he alone somewhere, brooding? Was he out with his squad? No one deserved to see their dear friends die in front of them, much less helping those friends die. It was probably little comfort to Okita that Yamanami had died with as little pain as--
The sound of children's laughter and merry shouts roused her from her thoughts. Startled, she looked around for the source, and finally located it in a meadow by the river. There were several children laughing and playing catch with each other, paper balls, kites…it was almost like a toy paradise.
Amazing, she thought to herself as she stepped forward to get a closer look. There seemed to be someone giving them piggyback rides. Even during these unstable times, these children still find things to be joyful abou--Kami-sama.
She stopped dead in her tracks when she realized who the person giving the piggyback rides were.
Okita Soushi.
Okita Soushi, First Captain of the Shinsengumi, was giving piggyback rides to children.
They didn't seem to be too frightened of him, she realized. In fact, they were all clamoring to be near him, begging for rides, for sweets…and Okita was laughing. Really laughing, and he looked so different from when he was within the Shinsengumi headquarters. It was as if a heavy load had been lifted off him, and in that light, he looked no more than a child. A child who had his childhood taken away from him, a child enjoying what he should have enjoyed.
The sparkle in his eyes was unmistakable as he pretended to be tackled by a bunch of boys no older than seven. She couldn't help but laugh at that. Kyoto's most feared swordsman, taken down by a few children? It was a sight to behold, indeed.
Okita, hearing the laugh, snapped to, and saw, not too far away from them, stood Jarenna, looking very much amused. though when she realized he was looking at her, she looked startled and somewhat embarrassed. "Jarenna-san?"
She bowed quickly, looking mildly uncomfortable. "I-I'm sorry if I'm disturbing, Okita-san. I'll leave--"
Okita hastily recovered from his surprise--she was the last person he'd expected to see. "Iie, Yukijurou-san, it's all right."
"Niichan, is she your wife?" One of the girls, Kino, asked curiously.
"Nani?" Okita turned a faint shade of pink as he turned to her. How did she even know something like that? "Iie, Kino-chan, Yukijurou-san is not my wife--"
"Snow Angel, Snow Angel!" Tamiya called out gleefully as she got to her feet and approached a blushing Jarenna, tugging on her kimono. "Snow Angel?"
Jarenna looked down at the little girl in surprise, feeling Okita's matching stare. She knew her first name was special, but to hear this girl say it…the little girl looked up at her with bright, hopeful eyes, and she couldn't help but be touched as she knelt down to her level. "Iie, my name is just Jarenna. What's yours?"
"Nakushi Tamiya!" she said proudly, then looked at Jarenna closely. "Kaa-san told me once that if I kept looking out for the brightest star in the sky, one day I'll find a snow angel and she'll grant me my wish! Are you a Snow Angel?"
Jarenna hesitated for a moment. The child looked so hopeful and innocent, and she didn't want to disappoint her. After all, children deserved their fantasies, especially so in these turbulent times, but lying to a child was something she couldn't bring herself to do. What if she couldn't grant that wish? "Tami-chan, your snow angel lives very, very far up there, and she's watching over you. I'm someone else's snow angel, you see? Your snow angel must come down and grant your wish herself, or it will never come true."
Tamiya's face fell. "Oh…" then almost as quickly, she brightened again. "Well then, who's the person you want to grant a wish to?"
I am never good at lying, she thought to herself as she scrambled for an answer. "Well…it's a child who lives far, far away from here."
"Oh! Is she a girl?" Kino piped up. It was then that Jarenna realized that most of the children were now rallied around her, listening to her every word with rapt attention. She started to reply when another little girl spoke up.
"Girls are always better than boys."
"Hey!" As expected, the juvenile battle of the sexes had begun, and it took everything the two adults had to keep both sides from jumping each other. Even then, the mood was lighthearted and relaxed, for they were just children, after all.
…
"I didn't know your name meant Snow Angel."
Jarenna simply smiled. Okita was walking beside her--he'd refused to let her walk behind him like any woman should. She'd protested at first, but he could be incredibly stubborn when he wanted to. "It doesn't. The real meaning is Snow Fairy." Her eyes took on a faraway glaze. "One of my masters gave me that name. He was not as bad as the others."
Okita glanced at her, realizing that she was about to become sad again. Laughing, he patted her arm. "It's a beautiful name, Yukijurou-san. He must've really liked you." It was uncommon for masters to give their servants first names; Jarenna must've had been special to him.
She made no reply to that. Instead, she looked over at him. "Okita-san, are you feeling better now?" What she really wanted to ask was why he didn't watch the sunrise with her anymore, but it would make her sound too needy, so she thought the better of it.
Jarenna caught sight of a momentary flash of pain before he turned to her and grinned. "Aa, I'm fine now. Thanks for asking."
She stared at him for a long moment. It was obvious he hadn't made closure to his friend's death yet. Reaching into the hem of her kimono, she took out the leaf she picked up and handed it to him. "Here, Okita-san. This is for you."
Okita looked confused. Why was she giving him a dry leaf, of all things? "What?"
"It's the first few leaves of autumn," she told him. "I just wanted to tell you that with death comes life. It might not be a human life, but a life of something else, nonetheless. Yamanami-sama was your good friend, but you gave your beliefs life when you executed him. He gave you something to hold on to, and in a war like this, you are going to need it."
In the sunset, she looked as beautiful as ever, her deep brown eyes gentle and expressive, her stance relaxed, a slight smile curving her naturally pink lips…in that moment, he realized something.
He had missed her.
He'd missed the times when he would sit in the kitchen and she would give him tea, following which they would watch the sunrise together. Silently, they would welcome to new day. Ever since that morning, he had stayed away from her; he knew that he had overstepped his boundaries by holding her that day, but he just couldn't resist it. He knew he needed something to hold on to before he went mad, and he reached out for the next best thing, but it made him feel so much worse after that, because all he had thought of when she was in his arms was how easy it would be to just take her, to just delve into her warm body for awhile, to seek the solace he so desperately needed for his grief. But as soon as he'd felt that, he was sickened. She had only wanted to comfort him, but in those few moments, he wanted her badly, more than anything he'd ever known. It had taken all of his discipline and will-power to walk away from her, and even then, he'd known that if she so much as asked him to stay, he would take her then and there, to hell with whether she wanted him to or not.
He looked down at the dried, withered leaf in his hand thoughtfully, feeling as if a small weight had been lifted off him. For some reason, her words comforted him like no one else had.
He stopped. "Arigato, Yukijurou-san. How do you always know what to do or say?"
"Nani?" she looked caught off guard as she stared at him in amazement. Does he really think that? All she did was just to try to make him feel better, nothing more.
He smiled. "Thank you for giving me something to hold on to."
She shook her head. "Iie, Okita-san. You've always had that. I just opened your eyes to what you've always had." Then she glanced at the sky. "Oh, no! I promised Junko-san I'd be back before sunset!" Junko did not look kindly upon people who broke their promises, and Jarenna was sure that she would not appreciate her reasons for the delay. Hitching up her kimono slightly, she gave Okita a short wave before taking off. "I'll see you later, Okita-san. I really have to go!"
Shaking his head, he easily kept pace with Jarenna as she ran. "I'll come in with you, Yukijurou-san. Just explain to Junko that I needed you for an errand and you came back late."
"In case you haven't noticed, Okita-san, I am no good at lying. And Junko-san can pick out liars faster than a wolf sniffs out his prey."
Okita laughed. It was the first time he'd ever seen her look flustered, and he had to overcome a sudden urge to kiss her. "A fitting analogy, that it is."
There, he was laughing again. It was a pleasant sound that immediately seemed to make her feel better. She'd always liked his laughter, especially now, when he actually meant it. I'll think about that later, she dismissed hurriedly as she quickened her pace. Now I've got bigger problems.
…
Jarenna was not happy. After helping prepare dinner last night to the tune of Junko's silent treatment, she'd quickly finished up her chores for the day and headed to her room, where she'd spent the rest of the night writing poems and short stories, and generally being alone, as usual. For some reason, she felt uncharacteristically restless that night. She normally would not have minded the solitude, but last night, it grated on her nerves, and annoyed her even more when she realized there was nothing she could have done about it.
Kimiko had not even looked in her direction the entire night, preferring very much to hang around and flirt with the Shinsengumi men, especially the captains. Luckily for Kimiko, the Third Captain had not been present for dinner--he was known to have very little tolerance for this sort of thing.
Harada, however, seemed to enjoy her company, and for that, Kimiko had desperately wished that Jarenna had been there to see how wildly they flirted with each other, but Fate did not seem to be on her side.
Currently, Kimiko was the entire opposite of Jarenna's mood, as she hummed a tune while she busied herself with the laundry. Okita-sama at least had spoken to her, which was an improvement. Before long, she would make sure that he would fall hopelessly in love with her and--
"Kimiko-san?" Jarenna spoke.
Inwardly, she growled. Why did she always have to ruin a perfect moment?! "What?"
Jarenna was looking at her strangely as she cleaned out the bowls. "You were talking aloud, Kimiko-san."
Oh, kami-sama, Kimiko felt her face flush in embarrassment. How much did Jarenna hear??
Recovering quickly and remembering her little triumph over Jarenna she simply shrugged and smiled. "Oh, sorry. It's just that I had a good time with the guys during dinner last evening. Gosh, it was like I was the centre of attraction or something! You should've seen it." Well, it wasn't exactly true, but no harm elaborating.
"Oh," Jarenna smiled, completely missing the point of that statement as she went back to her work. A happy Kimiko was always a good thing. "Good for you, then."
"Harada-sama was such a gentleman," Kimiko went on with a sigh and an air of wistfulness. "I've never realized how gorgeous he was until last night." She giggled. Well, that was true.
Jarenna's eyes widened slightly as she caught the innuendo, and Kimiko, seeing her expression, moved on smugly. "Well, I've got to go and get some salt before Junko-san has my head, Jarenna-san. Ja!"
Mission accomplished.
…
"Jarenna-san, you in there?"
Jarenna looked up from the laundry she was doing upon hearing Harada's booming voice. "Sanosuke-kun?"
She felt footsteps bounding down the stairs leading into the laundry room, where she currently was, and before long she was face to face with the owner of that voice. Hurriedly standing up, she cleaned off her soapy hands and smiled. "Sanosuke-kun! What are you doing here?"
He leaned against the wall with a lazy smile, taking in the blue scarf she'd tied around her head to keep her hair away from her face, and speaking of her face…
He reached over and wiped off a few tiny soap bubbles that was on her cheek, feeling her sudden intake of breath as he did so.
"Sanosuke-kun?"
Kami this girl is cute even when she's blushing, he thought as her curious doe brown eyes held him in and made his mouth momentarily run dry. She's got nice eyes. Seems like everything nice about her comes in pairs. Her eyes, her ears, her shoulders, her nice rounded--
"Sanosuke-kun, are you all right?" she was looking at him oddly now, having gotten over the initial shock when he reached over and wiped off something from her cheek. She watched as the Tenth Captain snapped out of whatever daze he was in and nodded.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just wanted to ask you something." He grinned. "Looks like you're very much into your work, Jarenna-san. You've got soap bubbles everywhere."
"Hai," she smiled. "If I'm not, you all won't be wearing those nice clean clothes, ne?"
"Aa," he shrugged, then glanced around him. "You're alone in here?"
"Before you came in, yes."
"Where's your friend, that Kiriko girl?"
"Kimiko," she corrected him as she sat down again and started on another piece of cloth. So that was what he was here for. He and Kimiko most likely had something going on, from what she'd gathered from the other girl earlier. "She's out buying salt for Junko-san." She paused, glancing up at him deliberately. "Why?"
"Just a question is all." He answered. Well, she was alone right now, so it wouldn't hurt to ask about--
"She's a nice girl," Jarenna said.
"What?" Harada asked, caught off guard. He definitely was not expecting this.
"Kimiko, she's a nice girl. A little too perky, but she's a good person. You've made a good choice."
What is she talking about? He thought, confused as he stared at her, wondering if it was a joke. The perfectly serious expression on her face said otherwise. Then it sank in.
She thought he liked Kimiko!
"Wait, wait, Jarenna-san. You think I like Kimiko?"
Now it was her turn to look confused. "You don't? But last night--"
"It was just harmless flirting," he told her. "All in the name of fun, that's all."
"Oh." She frowned slightly. He'd said that he wanted to ask her something. Was that his question? "You wanted to ask me something?"
"Yeah." He paused for a moment, and Jarenna saw a flash of uncertainty crossing his features for the briefest moment before his customary self-confidence slid into place. "Just wanted to ask if you uh--if you were free. After this. After the laundry."
"Yes, I am." She was more confused than ever. This was the question he had wanted to ask? "Why?"
He looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Well…it's a beautiful day out. How about a walk, take in the sights and all?"
Oh. "But Sanosuke-kun, I don't believe scenery watching is your cup of tea." Harada Sanosuke, she knew, was not one who spent time idling outside admiring the view. He was more the type who spent whatever available time training and sparring with his men, or visiting sake restaurants or going to Shimabara for a good drink and a good time with the women with the other Captains.
"Well, humor me a little. I need someone to accompany me." he replied before he could feel himself losing courage. What's the matter with me? He wondered irritably. He was ferocious and aggressive in battle, irresistibly suave in handling women, but this one made him…nervous, somehow. It was not a good feeling, especially since he knew that there were much better looking women out there than her.
But then again, none of them made him feel the way he did when he was around her.
"But…couldn't you get your men to accompany you?" And besides, shouldn't he be asking Kimiko? She would be happy going out with him, even though she only had eyes for Okita-san.
"I think it's about time I dispelled the popular rumor that all of us Shinsengumi Captains are gay."
Jarenna blinked. There was such a rumor? It was a wonder the rumormonger did not get struck down in an instant. Before she could stop herself, she asked. "Are any of you?"
"Yeah, only one." A flicker of distaste crossed his features momentarily at the thought.
Jarenna, who was busy considering whether or not to go, absently asked--more of a time stalling tactic than anything. "Who is it?"
"Takeda Kanryuusai, of course."
What? Jarenna abandoned her thoughts for the moment. Takeda Kanryuusai, the Shinsengumi captain who pursued her relentlessly, was gay?! "I--"
Harada seemed to know what she was thinking. "The ahou only chased you to put on a show. And also to spite Okita and I. Trust me, he likes men. It's an open secret."
At that, Jarenna was more confused than ever. Why would he even want to use her to spite Okita and Sanosuke? It all didn't make sense. Why her? She started to ask when Sanosuke simply shrugged and said. "Well? Do I have the honor of being your escort for the afternoon?" He bowed slightly, and Jarenna had to laugh, a faint blush coloring her cheeks as she dismissed her earlier thoughts.
"Hai, hai, Sanosuke-kun! You don't have to do that!"
…
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Author's note: Apologies for making Okita slightly OOC. In here, he is just seventeen years old, barely more than a child, so…just trying to put a child-like side to him.
LOL, effectively Harada's first date with Jarenna! Can't wait to see how that turns out. Hmm, is the impromptu Okita thing considered a date, too? I have no idea. But it's been really fun writing this story, 'cause even I don't know how it's gonna turn out. Just a reminder, though, the timeline is seriously messed up, so history buffs, please excuse me.
Icy Blossom: Haha, I was just thinking about how Okita would react, what with the death of his close friend and all. Even Superman has his kryptonite, ne? Thanks so much for reading, and I really appreciated your reviews!
Aiko-chan: I'm so glad you like my story! Oh no, I really didn't mean to make you cry!! Nah, Harada isn't really a jerk. He just is slightly chauvinistic and has a strong bond with his men, 'cause in the history books it's said that his men love him, so I was trying to put a noble side to him. Haha, Okita-sama is simply wonderful, ne? I love his voice on the OAV!
Gia: Hey-ey, thanks for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to me, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. You're right, there are not many fics of him out there. Sigh…
Alice: Hey there! My fourth installment is up. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Cheers!
