Jeff Tracy looked at his son, patiently waiting for him to end his latest attempt at changing his mind. Alan hadn't even been home for an hour and already he was arguing with him.
"You're not going anywhere this weekend Alan, not even to stay with Penelope," Jeff told him when his son finally stopped talking.
"But . . ."
"No, and that's my final word. Do you understand me," Jeff said firmly cutting Alan's protest off. He wasn't going to listen to it again.
"Yes sir," Alan said dejectedly as a beep from the computer on his father's desk indicated an incoming call. As his father answered the call Alan started for the door.
"Hey John, anything wrong?" Jeff Tracy asked as his son's face appeared on the vid com.
"No, not really," John Tracy answered.
Something in his voice made Alan stop and turn around. Something was up. He could hear it in his brother's voice. Quietly, Alan walked around his father's office to a point where he could see his brother's face over his father's shoulder.
"It's not like you to call for no reason son," Jeff said quietly fishing for a reason for his son's call.
John was quiet for a moment. As if he was rethinking a decision. Finally he spoke.
"Dad, I was thinking, seeing as things are pretty quiet, I was wondering if I could put things on auto up her and come home for a day or so?"
"You know I would rather not do that John. I could send one of your brother's up there to relieve you."
"No Dad, don't do that. It was just an idea."
"John, is something wrong?"
"No, why would it be," John said attempting a smile. Alan could tell it was fake. He could also tell that something wasn't quite right. Alan couldn't pinpoint it but something was up with his brother.
"I'll talk to you later Dad," John said bringing a close to the conversation as Alan slipped out of his father's office.
"Okay," Jeff said a little perplexed. The screen went dark as John closed the link.
Jeff Tracy continued to stare at the screen. He wasn't sure what to make of the conversation. John had always been distant but he was usually levelheaded and reasonable. That request hadn't been like him at all.
He couldn't help but wonder if he shouldn't have granted his request. It was possible that his son just wanted to visit his mother's grave tomorrow. That would explain his quick response at Jeff's suggestion to send up one of the others. John would never ask one of his brother's to be away from earth at this time of year even to be here himself. Still, Jeff hated leaving Thunderbird 5 on auto. If something should go wrong . . .
With a shake of his head, Jeff turned back to the report that Brains had given him on the status of the thunderbirds. He had already made a decision. He had promised himself years ago to never second guess a decision he had made. Second guessing could be disastrous in his line of work.
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Alan Tracy left his father's office and leaned against the hallway wall. He had to decide what to do. Something was up with John. He just knew it. He also knew it would be next to impossible for him to convince his father of that but who should he go to.
Gordon or Virgil would be more likely to believe him but neither would really feel right about confronting their father. Of course maybe he could use one of them to help him convince Scott as he knew Scott would have the best chance of getting Jeff to listen to him. No, going straight to Scott would probably be his best bet.
Alan tore off down the hallway in search of his oldest brother. He wasn't sure he had much time to lose.
Alan finally found his brother in the Thunderbird 1 silo. Alan wasn't sure why he hadn't looked there first.
"Scott," Alan called out as he saw his brother walking away from Thunderbird 1.
"Alan, what's up?" Scott said immediately concerned by the look on his brother's face.
Alan quickly told Scott about John's call.
"Something isn't right," Alan told him finally.
"How do you know? John told Dad there wasn't anything wrong," Scott said staying calm. Alan had a tendency to overreact especially when he thought things were dull.
"When has John ever come out and asked for help when something was bothering him," Alan countered. Scott had to admit he had a point.
"Are you sure? Are you positive you're not overreacting? Reading things that aren't really there?"
"I could here something in his voice Scott," Alan told his brother hoping desperately for Scott to believe him. Even if he was overreacting Alan would prefer they checked it out and he was proved wrong than for them to ignore it and find out he had been right.
Scott looked at his younger brother. There was something in his insistent that told him Alan really believed what he was saying. That he wasn't just looking for an adventure.
"Okay, I'll go talk to Dad and try getting him to let me go up and check things out for myself," Scott finally told Alan. He could see the look of relief on his brother's face.
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"It could be just a waste of time," Jeff Tracy told his oldest son after Scott had informed him of Alan's suspicions. Of course the fact that Alan had the same concerns that had briefly crossed his mind a short time ago had him a bit concerned.
"And if it isn't," Scott countered. He couldn't ignore the fact that Alan talked, really talked, to John the most out of all of them. If any of them were to pick up on John trying to hide something from them, it would be Alan. "Can we really take that chance?"
Jeff looked from Scott to Alan standing beside him. Scott had a point. John was alone up there. Maybe that wasn't the best thing at this point and time.
"Okay, go ahead. Go on up to Thunderbird 5 and check things out," Jeff told Scott giving in. "And why don't you take Alan with you," Jeff said thinking about Alan's earlier desire to want to get away from Tracy Island. He knew Alan wouldn't mind be included.
"Thanks Dad," Scott said relieved.
With that he and Alan left there father's office and headed for Thunderbird 3's launch silo. Scott took the pilot's seat and started pre-flight checks. Although he knew how to fly it, he wasn't as comfortable at Thunderbird 3's controls as he was with Thunderbird 1.
Soon the two brothers were on there way up the secret space station. As they neared the station Scott told Alan to contact John to tell him they were coming.
"Thunderbird 3 to Thunderbird 5," Alan said and then waited for his brother's response. When one didn't come he tried again. "Thunderbird 5 do you copy?" Alan asked trying to keep the panic out of his voice.
Alan glanced over at Scott. This was not like Jon. Jon always answered communications no matter what time it was.
"John do you copy?" Scott said trying to raise his brother himself. He was growing more concerned by the second. "Keep trying periodically Alan," Scott told his brother. "We'll be there shortly."
Alan just nodded as he went back to raising Thunderbird 5. He couldn't help but wish they were already on board. Why wasn't John answering?
It wasn't long before Scott was docking Thunderbird 3 at Thunderbird 5. As he quickly started shutting down Thunderbird 3, Alan was already clambering out of his seat and heading for the door.
By the time the docking cycle had completed and the door was opening Scott was right behind his brother. The two Tracy boys rushed onto Thunderbird 5. The fact that John had not answered their hails had both of them worried.
"John," Alan called out as he rushed toward the control deck of Thunderbird 5. There was no sign of their brother.
"John where are you?" Scott called out as he followed his brother from the control deck toward the sleeping quarters. "John answer me." Scott couldn't keep the panic totally out of his voice.
As the door to the sleeping quarters opened at Alan's approach, Alan stopped so abruptly that Scott almost ran into him. He was ready to scold his youngest brother for stopping so quickly when he took in the scene that had made Alan stop short.
John sat on the edge of his bed. The left sleeve of his IR uniform was rolled up. In his right hand he held a switchblade knife, holding it right above his left wrist. Scott knew what his brother was contemplating and the fact that he was hesitating gave Scott hope that it wasn't too late.
"John," Scott said softly, pushing Alan gently to the side so he could squeeze past him. He walked slowly toward his other brother not wanting to startle him. This situation could go from bad to worse real quick. "Don't do it," he told him softly.
His brother didn't answer him. In fact, he didn't move at all. Scott knelt down in front of his brother and gently but firmly took a hold of his brother's right wrist easing it away from his other wrist.
"John, whatever it is we can talk about it. It can be worked out," Scott told him softly searching for some kind of reaction from his brother.
"What am I doing," John finally said quickly dropping the knife as if it suddenly got hot. He put his head down in his hands starting to cry.
Scott quickly knocked the knife out of the way to avoid accidently getting cut by it and then moved to pull his brother into a hug. John didn't resist him as his sobs wracked his body. Scott couldn't imagine the kind of pain his brother must've been in to even consider taking his own life.
"It's okay," he whispered trying to comfort his brother. "Whatever is wrong, I'm here for you. We'll get through this." He wasn't sure what else he could say. Wasn't sure what else he could do.
"I'm sorry," John managed to say through his tears. Scott just figured he was talking about what he had just tried to do. He wasn't sure what else his brother could be talking about. "I failed her. I failed you and the others. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Scott told him again holding him tighter. He wasn't sure what John was talking about. He couldn't think of anytime his brother had ever let him down but he knew now was not the time to argue that point.
Out of the corner of his eye, Scott saw Alan kneel down beside him. Without a word Scott reached out and put an arm around Alan pulling him close to. Right now, what was going only wasn't all that important. The important thing right now was for them to be together. To lean on each. To draw comfort from each other. All this could be sorted out later.
