Betty fumbled for a chair as the shock sat in; she realized her son's anger with her must have trumped his normal filial devotion.
"What makes you think Lennie is your 'real father'?" she asked
"I overheard Dad talking to Uncle Isaac a few weeks ago. Uncle Isaac told him he should treat me better, 'cause I was a good kid. Dad said it got harder for him to put up with even having me in his house, since the older I got the more I looked like that 'SOB partner of hers'. I did some investigating and figured out Lennie Briscoe was probably the partner he was talking about." Benny answered.
"And you were coming here to see him when you ended up witnessing that murder?" Betty asked.
"Yeah, well you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men," Benny said with a grin that reminded her of Lennie.
She reached out and ruffled her youngest son's thick wavy dark hair.
"Yes, I do Benjy," she answered with a sigh.
"Ah Mom, when you gonna stop calling me Benjy," he said, as he ducked out from beneath the hand that ruffled his hair.
"When I'm old and grey," she told him as he rolled his eyes.
"Can I see him now? Talk to him?" Benny asked.
"Well, I'd like to talk to him a bit first. You see, until he saw you here today through the one way mirror, Lennie didn't know you existed," Betty began explaining.
"You never told him about me?" Benny asked in disbelief. "Why not?" he demanded to know.
"I had my reasons, Benjy, and I don't think that at the age of twelve you're really old enough to appreciate them," she answered her son defensively.
"So, you got to make all the choices for him and me, and to hell with how either of us were going to feel about things," Benny said trying very hard to hold back tears.
"Benjy, I did what I thought was best for everyone. Maybe I was wrong, but I never meant to hurt you. You have to know that I'd never hurt you. I know it's wrong for a mother to have a favorite child, but, well, you are my favorite," she admitted, as she stroked his face.
"Whatever Mom," he said as he jerked his face away from her touch. "Just go have your little conversation with him, so I can finally get a chance to meet my father, OK?" Benny added in a voice that was none too charitable.
Betty looked at her son, and sighed. "All right, just wait here, I'll send him to you in a few minutes."
The truth will. . .
"Lennie, can I talk to you privately for a few minutes?" Betty asked.
"Sure, let's see, our interview rooms are all in use right now, how about we just go up to the roof?" Lennie suggested. "I promise I won't throw you off." He added with an attempt at his usual grin.
"All right, lead on MacDuff," she replied trying to answer his attempt at humor.
They journeyed up to the roof in silence, and even after they emerged into the sunshine, they remained quiet as they found places to perch while they talked.
"Well?" Lennie finally asked.
"Benjy just told me that he came to Manhattan specifically to see you," she began.
"He did? Why?" Lennie asked perplexed.
"Benjy overheard a conversation between his father, I mean Jake, and Jake's brother Isaac. Isaac wondered why Jake didn't treat Benjy better, and Jake explained that it was difficult for him to deal with having Benjy in his home, because the older Benjy gets the more he looks like you. Jake didn't actually use your name; he referred to you as my partner. Benjy did some investigating to figure out who you were," she explained.
"Guess with both parents being detectives, he'd be pretty good at that," Lennie commented, and then he quickly got up and moved away from Betty a bit, turning his back to her.
"Lennie, I'm sorry I did this to both of you. I don't know how to make this up to either of you," she admitted, her eyes glistening.
Lennie turned and came back to stand in front of her.
"You could start by telling me why you got pregnant with him in the first place," Lennie said quietly, but with an intensity that Betty remembered as signaling his tightly reigned in emotions.
"Because I loved you, but I knew we couldn't make it. You weren't looking to be a stepfather to my boys, and your drinking was so out of control back then, I wasn't sure if you were even going to be alive a few years down the road. So I made up my mind to break it off with you, but I wanted a piece of you with me forever," she explained and finally the tears she'd been holding back broke free.
"Oh Betty," Lennie said with a sigh as he took her in his arms holding her as she cried.
He loosened his hold on her when she stopped crying, and handed her his handkerchief, but he didn't let go of her completely.
"Why didn't you tell me about our boy after you knew I'd stopped drinking?" he asked her gently.
"I wasn't sure what the news would do to you, and I didn't know how it would affect Benjy, if you wanted to be a part of his life, so I just let things be," she answered.
"So he wants to see me?" Lennie asked after a bit, sounding as though he dared not hope the answer was yes.
"I told you, that's what he was doing here in Manhattan. He wanted to meet his real father," she reassured him.
"I don't know what to say to him," Lennie admitted.
"Don't worry something will come to you," she said, and then on an impulse she kissed him gently on the cheek. Just as impulsively Lennie turned to capture her mouth. He kissed her as he used to, the passion between them catching fire again.
"Lennie, we can't. We can't go back," she said pushing him away, and then she began crying again.
"No, we can't go back, but we can move forward from here. Unless your trying to tell me that you're happy with your life the way it is, that your in love with Jake Abrahms, that you don't have feelings for me anymore?" Lennie waited to see what Betty would say. She shook her head.
"I'm going to go have a talk with our son, and then the three of us are going to have a talk, OK?" he asked. She nodded, and he kissed her again, this time more gently, then he headed for the stairs that would take him to his son.
My Beloved Son
Lennie stood outside the interview room for a moment, hesitant to go in, as he still had no idea what to say to the boy.
"Just go in, Lennie, the words will come to you," Anita advised him.
Lennie jumped a bit when Anita spoke to him. He sighed, "I guess you're right. Wish me luck?" he asked tentatively.
"Of course I do," she answered.
Lennie took a big breath and opened the door to the interview room.
Benny turned in his chair at the sound of the door opening. Both he and Lennie froze for a few seconds taking in the image of the other.
Finally Benny broke the silence saying, "Hi I'm Ben, my mom calls me Benjy, but I prefer Ben or Benny." He stood and offered his hand to Lennie. Lennie took his son's hand in his and shook it firmly.
"OK, Benny it is. Most folks call me Lennie. Wonder if Betty gave any thought to our names rhyming?" Lennie pondered out loud.
"I don't know, family story is that I was named Benjamin because in the Bible he was the youngest and favorite son of Jacob, which of course makes my name kind of ironic, doesn't it?" Benny commented and looked at Lennie pointedly.
Lennie sat down opposite his son and returned his gaze.
"Yes, I suppose it does. Look, Benny, if you've got any questions you want to ask of me, ask. If you need something of me, and it's in my power to give it to you, I will. So tell me, what do you need?" Lennie asked earnestly.
"Mom said you didn't even know I existed until today, is that right?" Benny asked.
"Yeah, I was walking to this room, reading the information about this young witness that some uniforms had picked up, and just as I reached the room, I read your name and looked through the glass. I could have sworn I was looking at myself at the same age; I just stood there frozen. My lieutenant asked me if I was going to interview you or just stare at you. I told her I didn't think I should interview you and explained that you were Betty's son. She understood," Lennie explained.
"She did?" Benny asked puzzled.
"Lt. Van Buren and your Mom go way back, they were friends in the academy, they told each other almost everything" Lennie explained.
"Oh yeah, we boys used to call her Aunt Anita. I didn't realize this was her precinct," Benny replied.
Father and son fell quiet for a while.
"How did you feel when you realized I was your son?" Benny finally asked tentatively.
"Man, I felt so many things. It was pretty overwhelming. I was thrilled at the thought that I had a son, but I was sad that I hadn't been there from the very start of your life, and I was really angry with your Mom. The thought that she'd gotten pregnant with you on purpose and never told me, that she'd let another man raise my son," Lennie answered Benny's question, and allowed his son to see some of his emotions.
"I really wondered whether I'd get this opportunity, to just talk to you. I mean, if you didn't know that Abrahms wasn't your biological father, and you had a good relationship with him, then I'd never have let this meeting happen." Lennie admitted.
"You'd have just walked away?" Benny asked incredulously.
"Yeah, but I'm really glad I don't have too," Lennie said, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"You said if I needed something, and if it was in your power you would give it to me, right?" Benny asked for confirmation.
"Yes, what do you need?" Lennie replied eagerly, wondering what he could offer the boy.
"Two things, first I'd like to call you something other than Lennie. I've called Jake Abrahms Dad most of all my life, and somehow calling you that would seem like I was saying you were like him, and that's not fair to you. But calling you father seems too formal," Benny said, trying to work through the problem.
"How about Pop?" Lennie suggested.
"Pop, yeah I like it. Pop," Benny said with a grin.
"You said there were two things," Lennie prompted.
"Yeah, would you stand up, Pop?" Benny asked with a grin.
"Uh sure," Lennie said uncertainly. He stood up, uncertain of what Benny had in mind. As soon as he stood up, Benny came over to him and enveloped him in a bear hug that knocked Lennie off balance. Lennie fought to regain his balance and circled his arms around Benny; then he leaned forward slightly to kiss the crown of his son's head. The tears that had glistened in Lennie's eyes now fell freely into the boy's dark hair.
Tears fell from Betty's eyes too. She knew she shouldn't have eavesdropped on their conversation but she couldn't help herself.
Benny finally pulled back from his father's embrace, "Pop, can I live with you for a while?"
"Uh, I don't know about that, we'll have to check that out with your mom," Lennie answered, as he hastily tried to swipe at his tears without being obvious about it.
"To hell with what she says. Mom's called the shots up 'til now without a thought about you or me or how we feel," Benny replied.
"Wait Benny, first of all I've got no legal right to have you with me and second, I don't know how to put this but Benny, as angry as I am at your Mom for how she handled things, you've got to know that you were definitely made of love. I loved your Mom and she loved me," before Lennie could continue Benny interrupted.
"Do you still love her?" he asked.
Betty stood frozen, now she really knew she shouldn't be there eavesdropping, but she had to know what Lennie's answer was. Did he still love her?
"I don't know. I" Lennie sighed and then started over. "It's been a long time and people change, but I think I've changed for the better. If your Mom was willing to give us a second chance, then maybe, maybe we could make it this time," Lennie paced away from Benny.
"I don't know. Look, let's get back to the issue of you're coming to live with me. You said your mom didn't think about how we felt when she decided to keep me in the dark about you, but would we be thinking about how she feels, or about how your brothers feel, if we just said to hell with what she thinks?" Lennie asked.
"My brothers are both off at college and besides, why do we have to be better than her?" Benny sputtered.
"Now come on, I'm sure your mom has taught you that two wrongs don't make a right," Lennie said and angled his head towards Benny.
"Yeah," Benny let out a breath and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Why does doing the right thing have to suck so much?" he asked.
Lenny laughed a bit and reached out a hand to tousle his son's hair.
"It doesn't always, you'll see," Lennie answered as he mussed up Benny's hair.
Benny pulled away from Lennie's hand a bit, "Pop, cut it out, or I'll have to retaliate and I'll probably get my hand stuck in whatever that stuff is on your hair," he teased and they both laughed.
"Hey, are you hungry?" Lennie asked.
"Always," Benny answered.
"God, you are my kid. Come on let's hit a deli," he suggested.
"Uh Pop, aren't you going to talk to Mom about my living with you?" Benny asked.
"Not on an empty stomach I'm not," Lennie replied.
On that comment, they turned and left the interview room, only to bump straight into Betty, who had found herself rooted to the spot where she'd been standing, watching them.
"Enjoying the show?" Lennie asked angrily.
"Lennie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I just couldn't"
"Yeah, I'm sure you couldn't. You know, I'm just beginning to realize what you're really like, and I think maybe as lousy as I am at this parenting thing, maybe Benny ought to come live with me," Lennie added angrily.
"Pop, wait a minute, don't get so mad at Mom. Give her a chance to explain," Benny said, coming to his Mom's defense, despite what he'd been saying only moments before.
Lennie looked at Benny, and Benny tensed wondering if his Pop would think he was betraying him because their relationship was so new. Lennie blew out a breath and Betty relaxed. She knew Lennie much better than her son did, and she knew that his anger towards her rarely lasted very long.
"You know, I think maybe getting you something to eat might be a good idea, because from what I remember, your temper was always nastier when you were hungry," Betty said.
Lennie quirked a small grin at her, thankful that she hadn't mentioned how truly nasty his temper was when he was hung over. "Well, it couldn't hurt. Let me go see if Lt Van Buren will let me have some time off to take you two to lunch, though considering how little I've got done today, she'll probably either say no or tell me to get out and dock me a day's pay," he said as he headed out and towards the squad commander's office.