The Way He Looks At Me
I don't own or claim to own anything here. The characters belong to Fox, and I do not profit from my stories.
- This is a, well, WILL be a slash. Rated R for sexual content and language in later chapters.
- Thoughts will be typed like this -Finally I have gotten some nice reviews! Please, if you read this, please please PLEASE review even if its a couple words. It lets me know that there are at least some people reading! -Thank you so much to all reviews...especially Waverin3, my new favorite person in the whole universe!
-I've been told that my characters are headed OOC, and well, all I can say is sorry. My story....so my personality! (jk)
-Marissa is making her debut in this chapter....and she's going to be a partial ditz/bitch. Tell me whether that's ok or you want a different Marissa. (I'm writing this as if the Coopers still lived next door, and never lost their money....so on and so forth.)
-Disclaimer- I don't own these characters, or pretend to. They all belong to Fox, and I love them for making this show!
Chapter 7
Ryan slowly slid down the wall, resting his head on the only thing separating himself from Seth. He softly cradled his hand as the tears started to slowly drift down his face. The hand which had, only seconds ago, held Seth's - if only briefly.
He slowly pulled himself away from the door and slowly moved to his bed where he stretched out and stared at the window; although the blinds were pulled.
"Why?" he sighed as he turned away from the shadow of Seth on the floor of his room.
On the other side of the wall Seth continued to wallow in self-pity. "So stupid...I am so fucking stupid!" Seth said aloud, not realizing that Ryan heard him again, like right after he shut the door.
Seth continued lightly tapping on the door as Ryan continued laying still, tears lightly rolling down his cheeks, staring at Seth's shadow.
They carried on as they were for almost two hours; Ryan laying and crying, while Seth tapped and cried.
Sandy and Kirsten continued to stare out the window for a few minutes after they had left, not knowing what to do or say. They could tell Seth was visibly shaken but had no idea what Ryan was doing. Kirsten decided to go back to making breakfast, but moving almost 30 times as fast as she waltzed around the room.
After they finished making the breakfast (every single breakfast food and pastry known to man) they piled it onto a tray. Kirsten quickly walked outside carrying the tray stopping short after she saw what her son looked like.
She felt her fingers shaking as she started loosing control of the tray. Kirsten quickly composed herself as she stood next to Seth, looking down upon her son.
"Honey. I brought you two some food. Please. Come on. You've both got to eat something." She said loud enough for Ryan to hopefully hear inside.
"No Mom. I'm not eating anything until I can see Ryan. This is really too...too...important," he choked out before looking back to the spot on the ground he found increasingly important. He wouldn't allow his mother to see what he really looked like.
"Please Seth," she whispered before yelling into the pool house, "Ryan, please come on. You need to eat something."
She paused, hoping against hope that someone would submit and eat.
"Fine. I'll put this right here," she placed the tray on the nearest chair before continuing, "and we'll both be inside if you need us." Kirsten trailed of at the end realizing that no one was listening.
As she walked away, Seth resumed his tapping on the door, but he started choking on his tears as another wave hit him.
This continued for the remainder of the day, until about 7, when Marissa appeared at the back door. She made her own way to the backyard where she was surprised to see the blinds shut in the pool house and Is that Seth...on the ground!
She walked quickly towards him, fairly scared of seeing an unconscious Seth lying outside the pool house, of all places. As she got to him and peered over (he was on his side facing the door) she gasped.
"Seth.....oh my god! Seth!" she started calling, afraid of why he looked so...so defeated and scared.
Seth was startled awake and started looking around, not sure of what had just happened; while inside, Ryan was also startled awake as he rolled off the bed.
Seth finally realized who was yelling, and Ryan was scared of what Marissa was doing outside.
After Marissa helped Seth up and sat him in a chair, and Ryan had moved next to the window closest to them, Marissa started what he knew would be an extremely trying Q and A session.
"Seth, good lord. Is everything alright? What's with the way you look?! And your asleep outside! And, where the hell," she paused, looking around as if she were actually looking for someone, "is Ryan!?
Seth sighed before he said things he knew he wasn't ready to say. But before he could say anything the door to the pool house clicked open, and Ryan walked out.
Seth stood up, knocking away Marissa's hands which were resting on his knee, and ran right over to Ryan. He turned towards Seth, but Ryan took a step forward to where he knew he would have to stop short.
"Ryan...I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said. Honestly! I think I think what you think of me. Really...I do!" Seth managed before he started to choke on the ball tightening in his throat.
Ryan gave him his famous cold look before, "Seth, I don't know what to do or say. I....well....I need to get out and think. Please," he started, glancing over and acknowledged Marissa's presence, "don't say anything about...you know - Me.
As soon as Ryan finished he turned on his heel and walked right across the lawn, through the gate that led to the drive way and got into the Hummer. He backed out before speeding out of the drive way and peeling out. He wanted to get as far away from the situation as fast as he could. He didn't even look in his rear-view mirror as he headed out to the nearest store.
Back at the ranch, per-say, Marissa stared unblinking at Seth's opened mouthed expression as he peered at the open gate of which Ryan had just walked out.
"What the hell is going on! First I see Ryan walk back and forth from the pool house to the house two days in a row, then I hear yelling from inside last night, then slamming doors, and then I see you to running after each other this morning. What the hell!"
"Look Coop (Seth started calling her this after hearing Summer call her this day-in and day-out), were having a pretty tough.....uh.....time over here."
"Well, I'd like to hear a little about it if you don't mind!" Marissa yelled, getting pretty angry in a pretty quick amount of time for something she had no idea about.
"I can't really tell you much. But what I can tell you doesn't leave this yard. Are we clear. And I mean you can't tell anyone. Even Summer. Not yet. Clear?!
"Crystal. Now tell." She crossed her legs and pouted her lips as though this was some way of looking attractive.
"I think that I am falling for -" he stopped short, scared of what he was about to say, seeing as how he wasn't even sure yet either. "Ryan. I think that I am developing something serious for him. Ya, ya....the whole "Cohen's queer, Seth's gay" blah blah blah. But I don't think its that. Its just that I feel something when I'm around Ryan and its more than just.....friendship. Okay. Now, I'm not having the best day here," he said as he wiped tears from under his eyes, "and I still need to do some thinking."
At that Seth stood up and walked right into the pool house, locking the door behind him and leaving Marissa alone, shocked and confused on the front patio. He switched the lights off, and stretched out on Ryan's bed, breathing in the warm scent that was still there.
As Ryan drove, the tears started again, unknowing what Seth was saying right now and whether he should just go to the nearest bus station and leave Newport. No, No, I've made a home here. Kirsten and Sandy will still have me, right?
He continued driving, thinking of what life would be like without the burden of the past and the homosexuality. "What would it be like if Seth really felt something for me. Something. Anything. I know its impossible, but that would be all I would ever ask for" he asked no one aloud, staring up at the setting sun as if asking, or telling god of his needs.
He had finally made it to the Wawa and pulled into the lot, parked and checked himself in the mirror. He didn't look like he had been crying, which he was thankful for, but more or less like he had been sleeping. He unbuckled and got out of the car before heading towards the entrance.
As he did, so he saw out of the corner of his eye movement, and turned to see a gang of guys a bit older than him laughing about something. The light showed upon his features as he neared the building, and one of the guys yelled his name.
"Oi, Atwood, come here," someone yelled, and Ryan turned, but still with a quizzical look on his face.
He walked slowly wondering why these random people were calling for him, but before he could do so one of them sprang up and hit him.
Hit him hard in the face with a bat, knocking him out cold. He was unconscious and therefore missed everything else the little gang decided to do with their bats, chains, pipes, fists and legs.
There we go. Chapter 7! Hope it was alright and you all enjoyed. Please R & R and I will get Chap. 8 up as soon as I can!