AN: Well no one said no don't write another chapter and the more I thought about it the more I wanted to deal with the issues between John and Gordon a little bit more. Cytmose, it was kind of scary that you suggested what I had planned on doing with another chapter if I wrote one. I hope the story seems more complete for you now. Thanks to all of you who have read this story, despite the author going on vacation, and a special thanks to those who took the time to review. Every review is much appreciated.
AN2: Okay Virgil is no longer in two places at one time. I forgot that I had left him up there on the station! Thanks ladc for pointing that out.
Four weeks later:
"Well, I think that's about it," John said to Virgil as the two stood in the control room of Thunderbird 5. John did a quick scan of the computers one more time, trying to think if had forgotten to tell Virgil anything.
"I hope so," Virgil said lightly a huge smile on his face. "If I was actually taking notes, I would have a short novel," Virgil told him.
"Am I that bad?" John asked him as he looked from the computers to his brother. Virgil's eyes were dancing with merriment. John could tell Virgil was enjoying giving him a hard time.
"Yes," Virgil told him. "Any time any of us come up here to take over Thunderbird 5 for us we get a novel of things that have happened, things to keep an eye on, and any scheduled maintenance that we may have to do. It's kind of like your leaving us in charge of your kid," Virgil joked.
In a way, that was exactly it. Virgil felt the same way about Thunderbird 2 and Scott was actually even worse about Thunderbird 1. He still wanted to repaint the blue rocket one time when Scott was manning Thunderbird 5 just to see his brother's reaction.
"It's just the way you are John. Your thorough. It's nice to have things back to usual," Virgil continued his voice growing serious.
"If John's done with his sixty page report we could use some help unloading these supplies," Scott called out as he headed back into Thunderbird 3.
"Am I that predictable?"
"Face it John, we can read you like a book," Virgil told him, his hand coming to rest on John's shoulder. "Should we help them out?" Virgil said nodding toward the docking arm.
"Yeah, I guess we should," John replied. "If I did forget something I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out."
The two of them headed for the docking arm themselves, passing Scott and their father who were on their way back out with more supplies.
"So where's Gordon anyways?" John asked Virgil as they entered the cargo bay of Thunderbird 3.
"Believe it or not, he said he didn't feel like coming up," Virgil replied. "Can you believe it? He passed up the chance to fly his 'bird'. I asked him if he was feeling okay and he said he was but something isn't right."
Virgil picked up one of the boxes and passed it off to John and then grabbed a second box for himself.
"I think I might know why he wasn't interested in coming up here," John said as they made their way back off of the red space ship. He was thinking about Gordon's letter. He hadn't made any mention of finding it to anyone but Gordon probably assumed that he had read it by now. John was thinking that maybe his brother wasn't ready to face him yet.
"Anything you want to talk about?"
"No," John told him. "If its what I think it is, then its between me and Gordon. I'll talk to him when we get back."
"Fair enough. Just remember if you need to talk I'm always willing to listen."
"I know," John told him.
Fifteen minutes later, all the supplies were off of Thunderbird 3 and in the cargo bay of Thunderbird 5. Virgil said good-bye to his brothers and father as they boarded the red rocket ship. As the airlock door closed behind them, Virgil turned and headed to the front of the control deck, to watch Thunderbird 3's departure from the space station.
On board Thunderbird 3, Scott and John were sitting in the two front seats going through undocking procedures. Jeff Tracy sat in the middle seat, watching. Letting his sons do the actual piloting but ready to speak up should the need arise, though he doubted that it would. He had trained his sons well, and they were more than capable of handling this flight on their own. Should they choose to do so, he had no doubt that his sons would be able to carry on with International Rescue even when he retired, though he had no intentions of doing so any time soon.
John finished putting his stuff away in his room, and headed for the door. He hadn't seen Gordon since he arrived on the island a few hours ago. After looking around for awhile, he had decided to take a break and get settled in. Now it was time to resume the search.
Pausing in front of Gordon's door, John knocked hoping maybe his brother had come up to his room while he had been unpacking. He waited a few moments but got no answer.
John headed downstairs, still looking for Gordon. He came across Scott in the family room, his laptop computer open in front of him.Walking into the kitchen, he found Onaha preparing dinner. He stopped and chatted with her for a few minutes before heading outside.
Walking out onto the patio, he saw his Dad talking with Kryano.
"Hey John," his father called out.
"Hi Dad," John replied walking in their direction. "Have either of you seen Gordon."
"You still haven't found him?" his Dad asked.
"Not yet."
"I saw him heading down toward the dock about a half hour ago," Kryano told him.
"I guess I'll try down there then," John said.
John headed to the steps leading down to the dock, leaving his father and Kryano to go back to there conversation. John walked down the steps, hoping that his brother was down on the dock or somewhere nearby. He was starting to think that maybe he should have said something to Gordon before this but talking about this over the radio had just seemed so impersonal.
Stepping onto the paved walkway that cut across the beach to the dock, John glanced around. As he looked toward the dock, he saw a figure sitting out on the end of the dock. From this distance he wasn't sure who it was but he figured he might as well take a closer look.
As he stepped onto the dock, John was able to see that it was indeed Gordon on the end. He started walking down the dock, trying to figure out exactly what he would say to his brother. Even after a month of thinking about it he still hadn't come up with anything that sounded right.
At the sound of footsteps, Gordon glanced up and looked down the dock. He sighed when he saw that it was John. He had been spending the afternoon trying to avoid his brother, not exactly eager to find out if John was mad at him or not. Gordon had convinced himself that John was mad and that was why he hadn't mentioned anything about the letter.
Gordon quickly looked back out across the ocean. The thought of jumping in and swimming away crossed his mind. He figured that might be a little too obvious.
"I finally found you," John said as he sat down next to his brother. "You know you don't realize how big this island is until you try finding someone who is trying to hide from you."
"I wasn't trying to hide from you," Gordon said. The words didn't even sound very convincing to himself.
"Yeah right. You passed up an opportunity to fly Thunderbird 3 and this is the first time its taken me four hours to actually find someone after I return. Even Brains came out of his lab to welcome me back."
"I didn't think you would want to see me," Gordon said softly.
"Why?"
"I just figured you were mad at me. I figured that was why you never mentioned the letter I left for you in the book Virgil and I gave you," Gordon told him still not moving his gaze from the ocean.
"Gordon look at me," John told his brother. He waited until Gordon finally looked away from the water below and over at him. "Do I look mad to you?"
"No, but why didn't you say anything about the letter?" Gordon paused momentarily. "You did find the letter didn't you?" Gordon then asked feeling a little foolish.
"Yeah, I found it and I guess I probably should have at least told you that much but I wanted to talk to you face to face. Not over the radio," John told him. He saw Gordon nod in understanding as he glanced back out across the water, once again unsure of what to say. "I'm sorry I had you thinking I was mad at you because that isn't even close. I'm just worried about you Gordon because I don't think your dealing with all of this very well and I know what can happen when you try to avoid something. When you don't deal with it. It tears you up inside. I don't want to see that happen to you. I don't want to be the cause of that. I've already put you all through too much."
John paused waiting to see if his brother would say anything. Gordon didn't move though. Nor did he say anything.
"Gordon, I know the two of us have never been really close but we've always been able to talk. I don't like this awkwardness that has come between us and I know that its my fault but I can't fix it by myself. We've got to talk about this. Work things out. I want things to go back to being like they were before this happened but I know that isn't going to happen. I know that some things are always going to be a little different. That doesn't mean you need to tip toe around me though."
"It's just that I don't know what to say or do around you," Gordon said finally opening up a little. "I don't want to say or do anything that might cause you any more pain but I don't know what that is. I mean, Dad and the others are all showing there concern and I can see that you get frustrated with that. Not talking to you at all doesn't feel right either, nor does acting like it never happened."
"Gordon, just be yourself around me. Don't worry about doing or saying the wrong thing. After all it never stopped you before," John told him trying to lighten the mood a little bit.
The comment had the desired effect as Gordon smiled. He did have a knack for bad timing, especially when he was up to one of his pranks.
Suddenly, he had a desire to talk about what he was feeling inside. Virgil had tried to get him to talk quite a few times over the past couple of months, as had Dad, but he had always put them off. He didn't want them to think he was a rotten person. Didn't want to admit to them that he felt somewhat responsible for everything that had happened. Now, he just wanted to get it out in the open.
"I'm sorry John."
"For what?"John asked, confused by his brothers apology.
"For not being there like you've always been there for me. For the longest time, I always had the feeling that you wanted to talk about Mom but it always seemed like a taboo subject in the family. Scott told us not to bring it up around you and I listened to him despite my own instincts. Despite my own need to want to talk about her. Talk about what happened."
"Gordon you can't blame yourself for that. I know you were all just trying to do what you thought was best."
"I just figured Scott knew best."
"As much as he likes to think he's perfect, he isn't. Scott doesn't always have the right answer but then neither do I or Dad. Nobody does. We just all have to try and do our best."
The two brothers were silent for a few moments. Both thinking about what had been just been said. Both trying to figure out what to say next.
"You know in your letter you wrote that you didn't know what to say to me or what to do to make things better yet the first thing you did that morning after you found out what I did was the best thing you could have done."
"All I did was give you hug," Gordon said incredulously unable to believe that the simple gesture had been adequate. Hugs weren't uncommon in their family. They never had been.
"Yeah, but it showed me that despite what I had done that you still loved me. We all deal with things in our own way and sometimes how we deal with it might not be the best way of dealing with it. We do what we can. You can't blame yourself for not knowing how to deal with something that you have no experience with."
Gordon listened to his brother's words. As they started sinking in he couldn't help but let out a little laugh.
"What's so funny?"
"Everything that has happened lately, and you're still going around helping everyone else. We should be helping you not the other way around."
"You all have helped me. If I didn't have all of you, I don't know how I would have gotten through these last couple of months."
"I'm glad we had this talk," Gordon said looking over at his brother and then giving him a hug.
"So am I," John replied returning his brother's hug.
"If I wanted to talk some more, would it be okay?" Gordon asked the question mirrored in his eyes.
"Anytime," John told him.
"John, Gordon, dinner is ready," came their father's shout. Both boys looked toward the shore to see Jeff standing on the other end of the dock, not wanting to intrude on his sons' conversation.
"Race you," John said looking at Gordon.
"You're on," Gordon replied as the two of them stood up.
"Ready, set . . ." he started running down the dock and called the final command over his shoulder.
"Hey, no fair!" Gordon exclaimed as he started after his brother.
Despite the head start, John still reached the end of the dock a couple of strides behind Gordon, completely out of breath. Four weeks in space hadn't exactly done much for his stamina.
"See it was fair," John said in between gasps for air. "I needed the head start just to stay with you."
"Next time I'm starting the race," Gordon told him breathing heavily but not out of breath.
"Next time, I plan on being back on Earth for more than four hours," John replied.
"What am I going to do with you two," Jeff said lightly putting an arm around Gordon's shoulders. "If you think you can make it to the house, let's go eat," he said looking at John.
"Yeah, I think I can make it," John said his breathing more under control.
Jeff put an arm around John's shoulders and the three of them headed toward the house together.