AN: Please bear with the introspection in the beginning of this chapter. I know it's a tad wordy, but I thought it was really necessary. By now, Risa would have begun to think about their relationship. Hope you like the twist at the end!

Chapter 5: Falling Apart

The daunting mass that was Risa's math textbook stared at her. She stared back, but lost the battle. Her hands rose to her head to rub at her temples. She couldn't concentrate because math reminded her of Satoshi. And Satoshi was inevitably linked to emotions. And emotions caused her to think, and she didn't have enough brainpower left to do math.

She wanted… no needed to tell him something. Some earth-shattering, tremendous truth that would sum it all up. What would that be? Risa was so confused. So much had happened so far, but then again, nothing really did happen.

There was no question to whether she cared deeply for him or not. That was clear at least. There was a period of time where she thought she was subconsciously replacing him for Dark. Now, she was sure that it wasn't. This was very real. The only complication was…she couldn't seem to understand what was preventing her from actively pursuing him, or even take a more active stance in the "relationship." It was he who asked her if she needed help. It was he who offered to help. It was he who invited her into his house. He trusted her to some extent.

And what did she do?

She tagged along like a puppy, and made no indication to him whether she wanted to be more than friends or not. Could it be fear? Could it be fear of rejection? Fear that he would disappear and leave her all alone in the cold with a gaping void in her heart?

Yes, yes it was. No matter how hard she could try to deny it, it was all because of Dark. Oh no, she wasn't blaming Dark at all. Dark could not have prevented his own sealing. It was the circumstances. The cruel twist fate decided to play in the game of love.

She opened the textbook, and read the first question.

Back to Satoshi—she must not digress. Logically, could or would he ever disappear? First, he's a human (hopefully, that is…), so technically, he doesn't need to be sealed up in some work of art. It's hard to imagine him ever leaving the area anyway. He's always been this ever-present presence. He's been there for a very long time. In fact, he's always been there every single day, rarely ever missing class. She's been accustomed to his throwing icy looks this way and that, the myriad of fangirls, and his unnerving, famous intelligence. Dark isn't here for him to chase around, so there's more reason for him to stay in school and live a normal life.

She read the first math question again.

Ah, speaking of questions, she should move on in her personal debate to the next question burning in her mind. Would he even like her as more than a friend? That's a hard one. What kind of actions and words hint at this? Mentally, she flipped through their encounters in the past month. As hard as she tried, Risa could not find one single action or word that was indicative of him wanting to be more than friends. His actions were comparable to Daisuke's. But then again, this is Satoshi we are talking about here. This boy's…different.

Risa read the first question again, then realized that she's read it three times already. Oh, math was hell…

There's no way to know whether Satoshi liked her or not unless Risa tested it out herself. She needed to ask him, straight out. It was, she convinced herself, the only clear and precise way of drawing a straight and clear answer out of him. Hopefully, he would not be offended.

With that settled, Risa was able to finish the rest of her math homework. She looked fiercely at the textbook giving her best 'Thou shalt haunt me no longer!' stare.

(divider)

The air was crisp and thin when she woke up in the morning. It was cold—colder than usual. In addition to this, a heavy fog hung over the entire town. It wasn't surprising considering that she did live beside a large body of water. Risa disliked fog nearly as much as she disliked darkness. Not being able to see the road in front of you was unnerving.

She had donned a brown scarf dotted with pink flowers in addition to her usual outfit. It was not very soon until the end of the day came. It wasn't very hard to find Satoshi.

Somehow, they were together in an empty room. She couldn't remember how it happened. It was just them two, with nobody else in sight. Nobody to judge her. There was Satoshi, who was casually leaned against a cabinet, one foot bent. They were talking about something. It was nothing of importance.

Ready Risa?, she had thought, 1, 2, 3…

"Did…did… you have breakfast today?" she began, slowly realizing that it was an extremely silly and trivial question to ask just out of the blue.

He cocked his head sideways, perhaps a little surprised at such a question, and said, "Yes."

Risa was ready this time. Without missing a beat, she said, "Who am I to you?"

Only when it came out, sounded…wrong. Nonetheless, Risa was not prepared for what happened next.

Satoshi stiffened, and his eyes looked blank. "Who you are to me? You are nothing." It slipped out thoughtlessly, almost like an instinct. He'd said it before once. Oh maybe a few times. He could almost feel the frigid hands invade his personal space, and the sinister whisper….

He could barely see the expression on Risa's face change from shock to horror.

(divider)

Risa blinked. She didn't think it would hit a nerve, and she especially did not expect to hear that loathing tone of voice. Like it was her who did something unforgivable to him. Like she had no right to ask such a question. This voice was cruel, like the edge of a razor blade, completely different than the gentle, soothing voice she had been wanting to hear.

Unable to contain herself, she blurted, "I just asked you a question! You didn't have to be so … oh never mind. Forget it."

She spun on her heels, marched out the door and mustered up all her strength to slam the door. Only, the door gently and politely closed and clicked into place for it was one of those piston-oil-pressure doors, adding to the insult. She thought she heard him call her, but she at this point, she cared for nothing.

(divider)

Something was hurting. Something so familiar that she didn't know what it was. Her pace quickened. Anything, anything to get away. Just keep moving forward… forward. She was going to be upset if she thought about anything. Numbly, she tried to will her mind into a state of blankness.

Only, it wasn't working. The incident replayed in her mind.

He doesn't care for you. He doesn't like you. He probably hates you now. Why did you run out? Why are you so silly? Why did you have to say it like that?

Yes it did sound wrong, but it shouldn't have elicited such a response. She tried to be more active, but it backfired. She shouldn't expect things from anyone in the first place. Some part of her really wanted him to say it to her… that he liked her. And she was hoping for it the entire time.

She walked into the fog, into the frigid coldness that hasn't dissipated since morning. It surrounded her, and she welcomed it. Nobody will see her like this, and she'd rather it stay this way.

(divider)

Satoshi cradled his head in his hands, wishing that he could push back the hands of time for just a minute. In his mind, the familiar scene replayed itself like a nightmare.

"To me, you are my everything." That lithe, smooth voice claimed.

Don't touch me.

"Who am I to you…?" he continued, "…Satoshi-sama."

You are a monster, a parasite, epitome of evil.

"You are nothing."

And you deserve to be put back into the nothingness—where you belong.

endchapter>

AN: Yes, I am back again after almost a month of stagnation due to the evils of university. I suppose this story is starting to go somewhere… ahaha, I surprised myself. This chapter was so different than all the other ones. Hope I'm not being incoherent here.