Mírdan

Chapter 4: Memories

The path that Haldir had taken was a familiar one. Rúmil had walked it often, as had Orophin, even though to the eyes of others it was barely visible. But it was not the ground under his feet that was on Rúmil's mind, rather the love he felt for his brothers. Orophin and Haldir were the father he had never had the chance to know, the mother whose tender embrace he could not remember. The three were extremely close, some would say too close. Rúmil had seen many a narrowed eye when one would hug or kiss the other. Their love was strong and they were not afraid to show it. They had slept together since the day their parents were killed, up until Rúmil reached his majority. Even now, they would do so if one of the three were troubled, as the other night, when Rúmil fell prey to nightmare. Their relationship was of course, platonic, but that did not stop the gossip. Rúmil sighed.

Perhaps, if one or all of them had found love outside of family, they would not be subject to such speculation. Neither he nor his brothers were chaste by any means, but it was hard to maintain a relationship when most of their time was spent guarding the northern border.

Orophin — Rúmil smiled when he thought of the eldest in his family. Orophin was quiet and reserved, level-headed, sensible. It was Orophin who mediated the arguments that arose between Rúmil and Haldir. When Rúmil was younger, it was Orophin's arms that embraced him for the little hurts like skinned knees, slights from friends, or taunts from his middle brother. It was Orophin who shook his head over Rúmil and Haldir's mischievous pranks and who tried his best to keep the two out of serious trouble. Orophin was extremely slow to anger, but once his ire was raised, his temper was legendary. Rúmil knew, because he had often been on the end of it. Unfortunately for Orophin, Lord Glorfindel had also had a taste.

Haldir, on the other hand, was the complete opposite - stubborn, strong-willed, oft times volatile. He was extremely confident of his abilities, smart as a whip and deadly with a weapon. And his weapons were not only those that fit the hand, for he could defeat an opponent in a battle of words as well. His was serious and sometimes nasty, and his countenance was such that many were scared to approach him. But all looked upon him with respect, and it was his better qualities that had earned him the post of marchwarden. Underneath his stern exterior, he was kind and caring. He just did not show those traits on the surface or to those he did not know well.

When Rúmil entered the silent glade, Haldir was sitting on the ground with his chin on his knees. This was their special place, their sanctuary, a place of peace. The earthy ground was covered with a soft, spongy grass and under Ithil's light a shallow pool bordered with tiny yellow flowers cast a silvery glow back up to the sky. In a far corner, under the branches of a venerable Mallorn, sat the stone cairn laid in memory of their parents. Haldir was seated in front of it idly running a weed through his fingers. He looked up at Rúmil's approach but did not speak. Rúmil sat down next to him and placed an arm around his shoulder.

"I am sorry I upset you, Haldir. This has been a troubling week for me. I was derelict in my duty and you should not have had to take me off watch; I should have requested it of myself. It is just sometimes, I resent being the youngest and being told what to do. Your remark about the stew irked me. As to my outburst, I cannot keep my emotions under control these days. I am at a loss to say why."

"Rúmil," Haldir replied with a sigh, not looking up, "I am not upset with you. Orophin and I talked earlier. I should have taken you off duty the day you found the elf. It is just we are short-handed and after what happened to Orophin, I ..."

"I understand," Rúmil said softly. "Whatever you wish me to do; I promise I will not complain. I have already apologized to Orophin. He is waiting up for us."

Haldir turned and looked closely at his younger brother. "I am not trying to punish you pen-neth, I hope you understand that. I am worried about you. Your nightmares have started again and you are not getting enough sleep. You are also not eating well. I want you to help me with administrative duties for a while. We also need to find out more about the elf you rescued. Meril said we could speak with him tomorrow. He preys on your mind, and maybe finding out more about his misfortune will set you at ease.

"I was tougher on you tonight than I should have been. We will work things out, the three of us, you, me, and Orophin. When you are feeling better, you can go back to your normal duties. Besides, with the festival coming up I can really use your help. You will not be idle, I promise."

Rúmil moved behind Haldir and pulled his brother to him, wrapping his arms around his waist. Haldir laid his head back against Rúmil's chest and closed his eyes, seemingly lost in thought. After a moment though, he spoke. "I care a lot about you, Rúmil and it hurt me to see you cry. Sometimes, for all my skill in negotiation, I do not know what to say to you. Orophin is the one who always has the right words."

Rúmil tightened his arm around Haldir's waist. "I do not mean to be such a trial to you, Haldir. I look up to you; try my best every day to be more like you."

"You are embarrassing me, pen-neth," Haldir replied. "Study to be like Orophin, if you feel you must change yourself, for he is the wisest among us, but know, Rúmil, that I like you the way you are." Rúmil did not answer and the two sat for a long while, each lost in his own thoughts.

It was Haldir who broke the quiet. "You are so like Naneth," he whispered. "She cared about others as you do, always feeding strays and taking in strangers. Do not take those qualities lightly, Rúmil."

"Would that I had known her as you and Orophin, but I was too young," Rúmil whispered back, resting his chin on the top of Haldir's head. Again, they did not speak for some time.

A breeze rippled the surface of the pool causing the night flowers to nod their heads then it passed over the two who were seated on the grass, teasing the loose strands of Rúmil's hair, causing them to tickle his face. He shook his head to toss the hair back in place and at the movement, Haldir stirred. "It grows late; we should go." Haldir rose to his feet and offered Rúmil his hand. Rúmil took it and pulled himself up.

"I do wish to find out more about our mystery elf," Rúmil said as they walked together back towards the talan. "Meril thinks he will recover. That is good news. We must take care with our questions, for no telling what emotional scars he may be carrying. You will let me come with you when you speak with him, will you not, Haldir? Whoever could have treated him so badly?" Rúmil did not wait for Haldir to answer him. "I intend to find out. Fael and Rŷn wish to know also. They feel as responsible for him as I."

"We will work out the mystery," Haldir replied with a chuckle, amused at Rúmil's endless questions. He yawned. "As soon as we are home, I will make us each a cup of tea. Orophin has only recently returned and we should spend a bit of time with him."

Orophin was at the door when they reached the talan. He greeted them both with a hug. Haldir fixed the tea and the brothers drank and talked until it was time for bed. That night they again slept wrapped in each other's arms.

Breakfast found them in much better spirits, and while Orophin readied himself for his first day back on patrol, Haldir outlined Rúmil's schedule. He was to meet with the kitchen staff and obtain a list of supplies needed for the upcoming festival, then work out a duty roster for the next month. He would meet Haldir for lunch, after which they would walk to the healing house and talk to Meril.

Hopefully, their elf would be awake and they could find out who he was and what befell him. When the dishes from their morning meal were put away, each bid the other a good morning and left for their respective duty.

"You are back among the living, I see," Fael said to Orophin, his mouth spread in a wide grin as he led his horse out of the stable.

"Aye, I have returned," Orophin answered, "Captain Haldir wished me to keep an eye on two particular guardians."

"You do not, by any chance, mean us?" Rŷn said with a laugh as he threw his carry bags over the neck of his gelding.

"I do not see any others present," Orophin replied.

"Nor do I,"Rŷn said with a groan. "Do you realize, Orophin that Fael and I go to relieve our relief? This is our second journey to the border in the space of a week."

"Surely, you did not expect a reprieve from duty because you came to the aid of a fellow elf? Your relief just returned from their monthly stint and you wish them to serve double shift so you can take a holiday?" Orophin raised his eyebrows at Rŷn's temerity. "Besides, it was not Haldir that sent the relief, it was Meril. Haldir would only have sent two guardians. He would have seen no reason for Fael to return."

"It was a joke, Orophin, do not take everything I say so seriously."Rŷn rolled his eyes. "I have been around long enough to know procedure. What puzzles me is why you join us instead of Rúmil? Not that I dislike your company, mind you, but is Rúmil all right?

"His nightmares have returned and his attention strays. Haldir has taken him off the roster for a while. I tell you this because you are his friends. Let us keep his condition between ourselves." Orophin's stated his request in a quiet voice, but both Fael andRŷn knew he was speaking not only for himself, but also for Haldir. They each nodded their head in agreement.

Orophin waited for his comrades to mount, then directed his horse toward the road out of the city, Rŷn and Fael following single file behind him. Orophin would not see his brothers for a while. He hoped Rúmil would fare better when he returned.

Rúmil spend most of the morning working with the head cook on a supply list for the festival. He was not fond of paperwork, but had promised Haldir no complaints. He and the cook made progress until the elf had to stop to start preparations for lunch. Rúmil gathered up his sheaf of parchment and headed for Haldir's office. Sitting at a small desk Haldir had temporarily set up for him, Rúmil began work on the monthly roster. At least, this task was one with which he was familiar. He worked steadily for a while, then put down his quill and sighed, staring off into space.

There was a time when Rúmil had been jealous of Haldir, resenting his brother's promotion to marchwarden. But once he realized the type of work involved, especially the amount of paperwork, Rúmil had changed his tune. Not to mention, Haldir sometimes left the realm and mucked about with other races. His brother had a ken for learning languages and Lord Celeborn used that to his advantage, sending Haldir out as spy to some of the nearby human settlements. Other times, he would send Haldir in his place as emissary to the military councils which alternated between Lothlórien and Imladris. Relations with Thranduil's realm were touchy and Haldir had only been there once. As far as Haldir was concerned, once was enough. Rúmil laughed to himself as he remembered Haldir's description of his reception in Mirkwood.

A guardian poked his head in the door looking for the captain. After telling the galadhel Haldir was not in, Rúmil quit his daydreaming and went back to work. It would not do to have Haldir find him idle, or worse, have another tell Haldir that Rúmil sat twiddling his thumbs. It was almost time for lunch when he put his parchment aside. He had finished the duty roster and from the notes he had taken while meeting with the cook, prepared a tentative supply list for the festival. He would need Haldir's approval on both, and for the festival list, he would also need the approval of Lady Galadriel's chief advisor. He did not look forward to meeting with that elf, for he was the counterpart of Lord Erestor of Imladris, a stern and sombre personage that had no sense of humour. Rúmil rose from his chair and stretched then left the office and made his way to the barracks.

Rúmil arrived early to the dining hall and so was first in line. He took his tray, found a seat at one of the tables, and waited for Haldir. The meal served this day smelt delicious, but Rúmil was not hungry. He took an apple from his tray, polished it on his sleeve until it shone then set it back in its place. The rest of his food he picked at with his fork, taking only a few bites. Around him, the tables filled, but still no Haldir. Rúmil frowned, his brother was running late.

TBC