AN/ Hooray! Praise that dude guy! I am finally done this chapter! Yay me! Ok, onto the necessities.
Disclaimer: I don't even own a pair of matching socks, Ok? There's no way I own Harry Potter. Like duh!
Thank always to:
Catalyst - For the usual beta crap. You rock!
Boongar girl - My spell checker. Literally, she checks to make sure I write Harry Potter and co using spells correctly. *People groan and throw tomatoes at lame pun.* Well, it's not my fault! It's true. *Sticks her tongue out.*
Review thanks to:
TJ - But if I got them together they'd be happy. They have to suffer more first. *Grins*
angelstar - Yep he did finally ask the right question and maybe he'll figure out what the heck is going on.
Or not.
Suzi - Here yah go. I hope you enjoy this chapter, too.
ayame - I'm glad you like my fic. Thanks for reviewing.
Demia - Bwa ha ha. Of course I must stop at all crucial situations. The reader might catch on to my plot if I didn't. :) Thanks for the review.
RJ - Well I'm not sure what to do about your melting but I hope that you enjoy this chapter.
morien - Hope you're feeling better. Thanks for the great compliments about my writing. It helps me write faster.
RaevenWynter - Hmm, a threat. Very effective. Here is the next chapter in exchange for my safety.
Thanks for the reviews y'all. Please enjoy.
*******
"What are you talking about? What letter?"
When Harry's question came, his green eyes wide and confounded, looking like a complete idiot, Draco lost it. He snickered then broke into loud laughter. The thing that finally stopped him was the vibration of his laughter that shook his tender wrist, causing splintering pain to shoot through his arm. When he quieted himself, tears prickled his eyes from pain and the hilarity of the question.
"What letter you ask?" Draco drawled, now irritated. "Gee, there were so many that I sent you. Let me think. How about the ONLY one I ever sent you!"
He glared as Harry opened his mouth to protest. He shouldn't be allowed to defend himself. Draco thought
"Don't you dare..." was all Draco was able to grunt out before another flash of ice went up his arm.
He grabbed at the offending spot on his arm, digging his nails deep in his own flesh. Tearing and pinching at that area seemed to be the only way to keep the icy pain from raising up his arm too quickly. It didn't matter too much in the long run though, because it would reach his heart anyway. The wave finally subsided and he looked back up.
Harry looked down at him with confusion, ever the same old stupid Harry Potter. Unfortunately, the reason he first started to like Harry in the first place was his sweet naivete. Draco felt heat rise in his face. He detested looking so weak in front of anybody.
He glared at the green eyed Gryffindor hatefully.
"Stop glowering at me like I attacked you Malfoy!" Harry suddenly snapped. Draco lowered his eyebrows, continuing to frown sullenly at the man.
"Why are you here?" Asked Harry, shifting from one foot to the other.
"Revenge." Draco stated simply, parting his lips and baring his teeth.
A look of distaste flitted across the darker man's face; his nose wrinkling. The former Gryffindor's fist tightened across the stolen wand.
"Prat." Harry said, though not as venomously as it could have been.
While he could have seemed a forceful figure, when he shifted and wouldn't look Draco in the eyes, Harry looked like an eleven-year-old. Just like the little boy Draco had met in Madam Malkin's robe shop.
"I never did anything to you that would constitute revenge," Harry added, still not totally meeting Draco's eyes.
Draco felt his lip quiver slightly so he bit down on it hard and stared silently at Harry for a second. He didn't trust himself not to cry out and seem weak, more so than the weakness he alluded.
He had been left alone. Harry had just left him hanging, no fight. All alone in the dark. He looked back at Harry, not wanting to sink into his black subconscious. He had been silent for too long for Harry stared right back at him, their gazes meeting. Harry flinched but didn't back down. Draco didn't either. The blonde's stomach churned and his head pounded. His wrist throbbed painfully with every beat Draco's vital organ produced. He could hear the heart beat in his ear, the dark over tone for his surroundings.
I gave you the one thing I could. I couldn't explain it to you any other way. Draco mouthed his thoughts, his throat unable to actually make words come out. Why...how could you leave me all alone with my father and his lord? I gave you..I...
"I pleaded!"
Draco's voice finally came out, harsh in the cold silence the two men had been sharing. "I gave you..."
Draco threw up his arms in defeat, unable to explain what he gave. He didn't know what it had been so how could he tell Harry? "I mean, what did you want from me? Blood?"
He gave a high pitched cry and answered his own question. He noted his left arm that had fallen and lay limply in his lap. He gave a bark and thrust it out for the raven-haired man to see. The sleeve of his robe was stiff with dry blood and his hand covered in the brown red streaks clearly viable on his pale skin. He must have reopened his wound on the way to find Harry and hadn't noticed.
"Here then!"
He had expected Harry to start to back away but instead the man came closer, eyes on the blond's hand. Harry stared at the blood with a Gryffindor's morbid fascination of something that couldn't be healed. With a seeker's quickness, Harry caught the blond's arm and held it tightly by its robe hem. He pulled Draco towards him, staring the man down. Draco complied and offered himself up slightly to the glistening emeralds. Harry seemed to waging an inner war; its battle was clearly evident on his face. Draco knew the man and he had been so easy to read anyway. Harry was confused and scared and...sad? Harry had seldom been sad with Draco. Draco sank into the emeralds his ideas of death and revenge fading.
"Malfoy I..."
Harry stopped short letting Draco's arm go, kneeling still commanding the blondes attention. The black haired man let a small sigh escape his mouth. The emotion battles raged on. "Malfoy I..."
Again he stopped. Draco was starting to get quite peeved. If his former lover wasn't making his point soon he would make a grab for the wand and end it all. Harry, sensing Draco's impatience, reddened and finally snapped out a final product from his blundering. "Damnit Draco! I never got a ruddy letter. You're barking mad."
"Didn't get it?"
Draco was dubious. How could Harry not have gotten the letter? He had to have gotten it. He just didn't want to sacrifice what Draco asked. For a brave Gryffindor he preferred hiding the truth from everyone. "How could you not get it? My owl Mazzy is quite a reliable owl Potter."
Draco ignored Harry's use of his first name, hoping surnames wouldn't dredge up more past for him and keep him aloof. "I sent it to you last summer right after school ended. After our...fight...fallout...whatever you want to call it. Mazzy's a big eagle owl you can't miss. She never fails to deliver a letter."
"I'm telling you I never..er what the?"
Harry trailed off and stared bemused at the door that led to the out of the kitchen. Draco followed his gaze wondering what Harry's trick was. He then saw Harry's yellow blond Aunt making a small commotion. Her thin frame was shaking as her face twisted in rage. Spittle foamed at the edges of her lips and her blue eye stared wildly. She had her husband's hand in her own and was digging her nails in his palm. He didn't seem pleased much by his wife's actions. Harry just looked dumb and confuddled.
"Aunt Petunia?" He's asked questioningly eyeing her. "What's..."
She stopped him by raising a finger and pointing accusingly at Harry. "You." She said, her eyes dark.
"Me?"
"You filthy freak boy." She hissed infuriated her mouth puckered like she had just eaten a lemon. "You...corresponded to my house with other things like you. That's disgusting. If I had know that owl that attacked me was from it," She stared pointedly at Draco. "I would have burnt it and had Vernon kick you out."
Draco slowly tried to figure out what the rabid little muggle had just vented at Harry. She obviously wasn't to happy about said boy fornicating with other boys but what was that other thing? She was attacked by an owl?
Harry seemed to understand right away. He stepped towards his aunt face pale and green eyes vibrant.
"You got an owl from him?" Harry waved a hand towards Draco but kept his eyes on the Muggle woman. "You took away a letter for me." You didn't have to know the boy-who-lived well to know that his calm sounding voice meant he was about to go off. Draco slowly slumped from his kneeling position mind Wheeling. He didn't get it. Harry really hadn't gotten his letter. That couldn't be right, could it?
"Yes, I took that dirty little letter. You filthy...."
Oh no. No no no. Draco's hand shook slightly before he wrapped it around his knee. If Harry hadn't gotten the letter then he never knew Draco had apologized. And that's why..... No no no. They had both made mistakes. All the things he had done. They could have been preventable?
Raising his eyes, he looked back at Harry. He hadn't heard any words for the last few seconds being to preoccupied with his realization but he got the gist of how it went. Harry's two relatives were red face and snarling obscenities. If possible, Harry looked even angrier. His tanned skin was pale and his eyes were acid. Then, in an act that even surprised the blond, he raised his arm in an act to hit his Aunt. His beefy uncle moved in front of the skinny muggle so Harry changed his tactics. He lowered Draco's stolen wand.
"Get me that letter or so help me, I'll blow this house and everyone in it up."
The two muggles cried out in horror. Draco almost grinned. He never knew Harry had it in him.
"But.."
"Now!" Harry ordered.
Draco shook his head. It didn't matter. It didn't matter. It didn't mater. Not any more. He could here the training his father had giving him whisper in the back of his skull, quickly pitching to a scream. He should forget his emotions. He shouldn't listen to them. The enemy was weakened, distracted. He should act now. Attack Potter. Grab the wand. He didn't know the killing spell yet but he could do Cruciatus. He could incapacitate the muggles and take Harry back to his lord.
No, another part of him ragged. The thing to do is not to kill Harry.
Why?
Harry stomped over to Draco, kneeling and forcing their gazes to connect. The rage still covered his usual placid face.
"See Draco? I never got the letter. See!"
Doesn't matter. The enemy is unprepared. Strike now. Cause as much damage as possible.
No Surrender. Beg for mercy.
Don't hurt Harry! Another voice insisted.
The blond shook and covered his eyes with his bloody hands. He didn't want to do any of it.
"Too tired." Draco murmured under his breath. He wasn't quiet enough for Harry not to hear. The Auror apprentice took it the wrong way and started berating Draco.
"To tired to do what? Learn the truth. To find out I was right and you were horribly wrong! Now you have no excuse for any of the things you did."
Draco shook his head heavily. "No, too tired to stay awake." He was too tired to listen, weather it was to Harry's accusations or the commands from voices in his head. He blinked. He could feel himself start to shut down. Adrenaline gone. Revenge out. The over taxing his body had gone through finally getting to him. White started to cover his sights slightly.
"To tired to stay awake?" Harry asked suspiciously. Harry had quickly lost his rage and just looked confused ready to let Draco talk. Despite the fact he didn't want to his mouth disobeyed and started talking.
"I don't think I can keep myself awake for any longer. It's been days now."
"That you've been awake?"
Draco nodded.
"Why don't you just go to sleep then?" Harry asked, slightly appalled.
Draco didn't answer and just adverted his gaze towards the carpeting.
"Malfoy!" Harry snapped impatience at the blond's silence. Draco's head shot back up and his thin lips twisted mirthfully.
"So, I'm Malfoy again? You're very fickle, Potter."
Harry just stared stonily at Draco waiting. Fuck, if we don't have a great relationship Harry and I! Draco mused finally giving up. He wanted Harry to hear his story and the best way to tell it was truthfully and at the beginning. Draco held his arm out again for Harry to see. The scarlet blood stood out wetly on his palm. With a quick jerk, Draco pulled up the sleeve. Harry recoiled slightly eyes drawn to the mayhem. Draco smirked slightly as he beheld his own wrist.
The slices that had been torn anew were sunk deep in the skin, not distinct because of the blood that wept sluggishly from them. Dried blood trickles made strange criss crosses down from the cuts to his palm brown red. Harry's hand snaked forward and grabbed Draco's wrist. Draco aloud his arm to be pulled closer for Harry inspection. He figured that would draw the boy who lived attention. What he hadn't figured was that Harry would try to trace his fingertips across the dark lines. Draco jerked back in pain and surprised unsuccessfully getting his arm out. Harry tightened his grip and finished his tracing with Draco gritting his teeth the whole time. The raven hared man raised his head asking the question with his eyes. Pursing his lips stubbornly Draco waited for Harry to voice the question first before answering.
Harry didn't answer right away. Instead him contented his self by turning his gaze back at Draco's wrist and continuing to trace his rough fingertips over Draco's sensitive skin. Finally seeming to notice the pain that flitted across the blonde's face Harry dropped Drake's arm quickly.
"It's not finished." Harry said quietly. Draco just looked down at his wrist not about to confirm the obvious. Below the red stains thick inky black lines traced beneath his skin. Two dead eye sockets of a skull and half of a snake were all the lines represented. Half of the dark mark. Only half finished the calling card of a death eater lay blazing beneath blood and pale skin.
"Why?"
Why? It seems innocent enough a question but Draco shuddered at it. The answer was easy enough but the lead up to it still pressed on his skull.
Hooded faces in a torch lit ring, his father even lost in the namelessness, surrounded him. Unhooded the dark lord had stood over him and grabbed the same arm Harry had just grabbed. His father was called into the circle to stand with him while he was instated. He hadn't felt pride, just dread and deep down he wanted Harry. Harry wasn't there and suddenly heat started up his arm. He who shall not be named's little servant cut a slight nick in his arm with a dagger while the lord started the spell over his wrist. He screamed and his father grabbed him hissing for him to be silent. He had been unable to stop as the spell ripped his skin like paper. His skin rose away from the muscle as the dark power wormed its way under it red hot.
No Draco didn't want to remember that so vividly. The dark lord smiling, shark like teeth bared as he chanted louder and louder.
Then.
"The ceremony was only half finished for me." Draco said with a shrug as if he had no dark memories to bother him.
"How come?" Asked Harry peering at the strange half skull design. "Did you stop it?"
"Of course not!" Draco snapped. Disappointment flashed across Harry face. Draco realized Harry probably though he had meant that he would never try to stop his initiation into the Death Eaters. What he really meant was there was no way he could stop Voldemort what with him on the verge of passing out. Mentally shugging he didn't correct the raven head boy.
"Then why do you have only half a dark mark on your wrist?"
"Because the Aurors came."
Finally the moment when the pain stopped. He slid gracelessly into heap on the floor. There was shouting all around him. The torches fluttered. Draco had felt his blood flow from his arm onto the cold stone floor. The cuts throbbed painfully and he could only whimper slightly. Strong arm hauled him up and then slapped his face.
"Stand up Draco!" His father had spat in his face. "It seems Minister Fudge has found this hideout. Get you wand out and defend your lord."
So, that's what the shouting was. Draco spun uncertainly, pain dictating his actions. He wanted to shout to his father that Voldemort wasn't his lord yet but Lucas had already turned and was sprinting up a grand staircase. Draco fell again, now against a wall and this time no one drew him up. They were being attacked from all sides. He grappled for a plan of action but his wrist just pulsated and his brain went sluggish. He didn't want to be there anymore. Finally his brain hit a nerve and he pulled out his wand. He could leave in the confusion. Every one would either think he was dead or captured. No one would know his mark wasn't done and he wouldn't have to go through the pain of finishing it. Before he knew it he had apparated into a forest just out side of the hide out. Then soon after that he was with Harry.
"Aurors?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded. "Yes or, at least, that's what my father told me. I didn't stick around long enough to see for sure."
Harry sat back, eyes thoughtfully. Draco eyed his wand but decided against making a grab for it. Why did he really need revenge now? Besides it would take too much of his limited energy. Harry's eyes trained themselves back on him as if something just occurred to him.
"Why'd you leave. I'm sure with Voldemort there you wouldn't have easily been over come by Aurous. Why didn't you fight then have him finish it?"
Draco averted his eyes, not looking into Harry's anymore. When he reached Harry's house he had walked so far that he did want revenge. He had to blame someone and the thought of killing his former lover had given him slight sadistic pleasure. When he first apparated into the forest though he wanted to be comforted by the black haired man and had departed to find him. Now, well...though he didn't want to kill Harry he didn't want the man to know he was still rather fond of him.
The blond winced as the half mark gave another bought of cold pain up his arm. He bit his teeth together hard and clutched his wrist tightly trying to hold the wave off. His very marrow burned in the icy cold. He could vaguely feel Harry grab his arm tightly and himself being pulled closer to the black haired man. The cold ebbed slightly and Draco open his eyes to watch fascinated as more blood welled from his nail marks. The room started to darken and he started to sway. Reinforcing his grip on his arm Harry whispered into Draco's ear.
"Go back and let your lord finish the mark."
"No"
Harry clutched tighter.
"Then what's going to happen?"
Draco didn't answer instead collapsed as his body gave out completely to tired to even let him sit up. Harry gasped and Draco looked into his green eyes.
"I'm going to die."
Then he closed his eyes to tired to fight to keep them open trying desperately to remember Harry's eyes. His mind was going blank and all his sense could pinpoint was how Harry's sent wafted over him. Then even that was gone.
********
Don't worry there's more! I wouldn't even try to end it there.
Wow! Am I ever glad to get this all out. I'm already at work on the next part and I'll get that out as soon as I can.
I promise.
Of course, if you push that cute little button down there and leave a nice little message, I might just work faster. Try it out and see. I tell ya it'll work.
'Til next time.
Ta Goggled Monkey