BLINK
By Bec
DISCLAIMER: Poem/Lyrics in order: Catherine, VIC and Anita Spring.
CHAPTER ONE – JUST A MOMENT IN TIME
The windscreen wipers worked furiously as they cleared the cold, icy raindrops from the car, but as Jo slumped in the front seat no-one could wipe away her tears.
Her fingers clutched the steering wheel as she pressed hard on the accelerator and as the wheels turned, scraping the familiar gravel of the road, her mind churned similarly over the same memory again and again and for a moment time stood still.
"PJ I can't play second fiddle to a dead woman!"
And as she had uttered those words she thought she could see his heart in his eyes, breaking. She thought his was in parallel with hers – but it wasn't. Because as she had left, her heart shattered into a million pieces he hadn't come after her. She had gotten into her car and driven and driven and driven. Away from her home, away from Mt Thomas and away from the man she loved. Love was like an alcohol – it felt so good whilst you were riding the high but once you crashed and burned the next morning it left you thinking if it was really worth it. Jo thought of the letter she'd scribbled and left on the bedside table for PJ to find.
Peej, it read.
A million words wouldn't bring you back,
I know because I've tried,
Neither would a million tears,
I know because I've cried,
They say that memories are golden,
Maybe this is true
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you,
My heart still aches in sadness,
And secret tears still flow,
What its meant to lose you,
No-one will ever know.
I'm so sorry Peej but this is something we have to do. We both have things to learn and new challenges to face and I feel that I owe it to you and to myself to face the truth. I can't let you keep living a lie and I have to stop believing in one – I have to stop believing that you love me and only me because that will never be true. I know as long as you live Maggie will always be the one holding your heart and I can't do anything to change that... I love you more than you can imagine, and as long as the clock ticks my heart will still be with you – but I've learnt that there are some scars even the clock can never mend.
Always, Jo
His fingers shaking he felt the letter flutter from his hands but he didn't register the movement. His head was spinning as he blinked almost unable to believe what had just happened. He dropped to his knees and re-read the words over and over – but as much as they hurt he couldn't let them go – he couldn't deny what she had said – because she was right. Maggie always had been the one holding his heart – that was until he had come home that evening. Come home and seen his soul mate, his lover in tears – seen her walk out on him, read the note she had left him. Until then he had never let go of the one he had loved – until he realized he had lost the one that he was in love with. Crumpling the letter in his palm he stood at the window and looked out and for a moment willed time to stand still as his thoughts drifted in the breeze.
Don't blink,
We're fine,
I'm here
You're mine,
Stay a little longer,
Don't breathe,
Don't run,
I'm here,
You're mine,
Stay a little longer.
Joey, just wait...please, I'm coming.
In a heartbeat she closed her eyes and imagined his face standing so vividly in her mind that she could hear his voice wafting through her ears. I love you Jo. As she reopened them the voice started to fade and as much as she tried she couldn't get it back. Tears brimming in her eyes, the moment and passed she looked up – but it was a moment too late. The tires screeching wretchedly, she slammed on the breaks but it was no use. It swerved and swerved the steering wheel jerking from side to side before losing all control. She heard the smash and saw the light – for one moment the intense, fiery beam burned its way into her mind – before she was enveloped, surrounded in darkness and it all faded into black.