Hey people!!!... thank you very very much for all your kind reviews... if there's not much people reading this fic I can understand it... it's kind of complicated to follow... sorry about that, but this was something I really wanted to try.... I'm finnishing it anyway, I hate leaving things incomplete.... to the people who's really interested... thank you very much, for those who are not... well... I don't think you're reading this anyway =P, but there's always other fics in the future....
Now with the story...



~~~Overcoming the lonelyness - Chapter 4 (9 years ago)~~~

Rachel came down the plane feeling more nervous than she had ever felt in her entire life. She wanted to see Monica, but specially wanted to see Ross. She hadn't been able to take him out of her head for the past 10 months, but for a very extrange reason she hadn't talked to him ever since she went back to England. The few times she called Monica and Ross picked up the phone, she was dying to tell him how much she missed him, how much she had been thinking about him and ask him if something similar was happening to him, but she never did. He didn't either. That made her think he maybe looked at what happened a year ago like just a summer fling. Maybe she was making a big deal out of something really small, maybe it had been all just a game, but at least for her it had been something really special. She wasn't sure if what she was feeling for Ross was still a crush or just the illusion of what had happened the previous year, but she was sure there was still something there that had denyed to die.

*~*

The first thing Rachel did when she arrived to her father's apartment was run to her bedroom to call Monica. She was dying to see her friend, she was desesperate to tell her about the fly and how boring it had been without her and Ross. Rachel took the telephone and started dealing Monica's phone number. After 4 rings someone picked up.

"Hello?" a male voice came from the other side. Rachel's heart skipped a beat. It was Ross' voice

"Uhm... hey Ross... is Monica there?"

"Hey... give me a second..."

"No wait..." she hurried to say

"Yeah?"

"How.... how are you?" she asked shyly

"Fine... you?"

"Great... I'm at my father's now"

"You are here? Already?"

"yeah... that's.... that's why I was calling... Monica"

"Well... Monica won't be around much this summer" informed Ross

"Really? Why?"

"Fat camp"

"That's... that's great for her.... but I'm not gonna get to see her? Did she left already?"

"Not yet, but she'll be leaving in a week, and she'll return a couple of days before having to go back to classes"

"Oh man!" exclamed Rachel crushed. She had so many expectatives for this summer to be as perfect and magical as the last one, and now she'll probably have to spend it on her own. Monica wouldn't be there and Ross seemed not to care she was already in New York

"Do you still want to talk to her?"

"Yeah... of course"

"Hold on a second then"

Monica picked and started to talk to Rachel. Ross looked at his sister as she told her friend about her plans for that summer. Once again he had blew the oportunity to talk to Rachel. He had been so nervous and once again he had seemed rude. For the last 10 months he'd been thinking about her none stop. His roommate, Chandler, was already tired of hearing him speaking her name and complaining about how slow the time went by. All he wanted was to hold her in his arms once again and kiss her. But then, he hadn't spoken to her the whole year. Everytime he was at home and picked up the phone, he'd get so nervous he was unable to say a thing. For all he knew she could tell him she was already dating another guy or just didn't want to talk to him. After all, she did have his phone number at campus and had never called him.

"Rachel asked me what happened to you..." said Monica to her brother who was staring into the space

"Wha... what?"

"Seriously... what's wrong with you?"

"No.... nothing... there's nothing wrong with me"

"Ok... whatever. Can you do me a favor?"

"Not now... I'm tired"

"Come on... I know you're gonna enjoy this"

"What is it?"

"Can you go and pick up Rachel from her father's?"

"What?"

"I told her I would send dad, but I'm sure she'd prefer to see you. Come on, you know you wanna see her again!"

"What?!... what are you talking about?"

"Come on. What do you think I am... stupid? Blind?... I saw the way you looked at each other the day Rachel left"

"You are really lost Mon... and I'm really tired"

"Ok, ok... I'm wrong, but I'm still sure there was something there... please do it for me... your tiny little sister who loves you so much!"

"Tiny little sister?" replied amuzed Ross

"Well... I'll be when I get back from camp.... but please!!"

"Ok.. ok.. I'll go... but if I fall asleep in the car and we crash against a tree and die it will be only your fault!"

"Ok, I'll have that in mind... now... go.... go"

"I'm going, I'm going" said Ross as he took his jacket and his car keys before leaving the house

*~*

Ross drove all the way to Rachel's place thinking about what he was going to do when he finally saw her. He'd been waiting for this moment the whole year and now he didn't know what he would do. Probably he'd just stand in there and smile at her. What else could he do? Run to her and kiss her?, what if she didn't kiss him back? What if she got mad at him? What if she thought he was completly crazy? No, he would just stay calm, and if somewhere down the road she said anything about last year he would tell her everything he had been wanting to say to her since the minute she took the plane 10 months ago. Otherwise, why to bother.

*~*

The door bell ringed. Rachel was still in her room packing some stuff to spend the weeked at her friend's place

"Daddy!! Can you open the door? It must be Monica's dad, and I'm not ready yet!"

"Of course princess" replied Dr Green. Although he was sad because his little pumpkin will leave when she'd just arrived, nothing made him happier than seeing her smiling.

Leonard opened the door to reveal a very nervous Ross standing in the hallway "Yes? May I help you" he greeted the young man standing in front of him

"Uhm... he... he... hello Sir... I came to.... uhmmm... to pick up Rachel" stuttered Ross

"To pick up Rachel? Are you Monica's father?" asked hardshly Rachel's father

"No sir... sir... I'm Monica's.... Monica's brother" there was something very intimidating about Leonard Green that Ross seemed unable to put himself together in front of him

"Oh, Monica's brother. Why didn't you father come kid?"

"He... he was busy sir"

"Ok... you can come in if you don't want to wait in the hallway... let me see if my princess is ready"

"Yes sir" replied Ross entering to the apartment, somehow relieved because Dr Green had left the room. He could totally feel like this man was seeing right through him, knowing he had feelings for his daughter and not very fond of it. Leonard Green always gave the impression he would kill any guy who even came close to his precious Rachel, and Ross was sure he could do it

*~*

"A kid came" said Leonard to his daughter who was still passing around her room, not sure of what pj she should pack

"A kid?" she asked, looking at her father confused

"Yeah... this kid... I didn't hear his name, but he said he was Monica's brother"

"Mo... Monica's brother? Ross is here? Oh my God!"

"Oh my God what? Please Rachel don't tell me you like this kid"

"Why... why not?"

"First of all young lady... you are too young to be thinking about guys. And second... he's not good enough for you"

"But daddy, you don't know him"

"And probably you don't know him either" Leonard looked seriously at his daughter for a while "Is he the same guy you went out almost every night last summer?"

Rachel looked at her father scared, he had never reacted like this before, he used to let her do whatever she wanted, never forbidding her anything. This whole thing was so weird. She didn't know what to answer him

"Ye... yes daddy... he is" she finally replied

"Then I'm gonna have to have a chat with you two... you are too young to be dating and he's too weird"

"He's not weird daddy, he was probably nervous". "I know I am" she added in her head. She thought she would still have an hour before seeing Ross again, so she'll have the whole way to Monica's house to establish what she was gonna say or do. But he was now in the livingroom of her house, waiting for her, one room or two away.

"Ok, we'll talk about this when you come back. The kid is waiting for you and Monica too"

"Thank you daddy" replied Rachel hugging her dad, feeling butterflies in her stomach just because Ross was there.

*~*

Ross passed around the living room area from side to side really worried. Whatever it was that was taking Rachel and her father so long couldn't be good. Her dad hadn't liked him, he was sure about it. He had acted like a complete retarded in front of him, no wonder why he could think he wasn't good enough for his daughter. Even himself thought so most of the time.

Ross raised his head and saw Rachel looking at him standing in front of her father. He just smiled at her weakly and waved a little feeling even more stupid than he already did. She looked even more beautiful than 10 months ago. She had grown up, she wasn't a girl anymore, she had became a woman. Ross was mesmerized by her beauty once again, lost in the curves of her face, facinated by her smile and charmed by her eyes.

"I SAID will you be the one bringing her back?" said loudly Rachel's father, brining Ross back to reality.

"Great, now he'll think I'm a psycho too" thought Ross. "Yes... yes sir" he replied

"Ok then... cause I have to talk to you boy"

"Yes sir"

"Take care sweety... and becareful with this guy.... he's really weird"

Rachel rolled her eyes at her father and hugged him "ok Daddy, don't worry"

Ross and Rachel left the building in silence, avoiding eye contact. None of them wanting to speak first, but dying to know what was going through the other's mind. Ross opened the car door for Rachel and she thanked him with a smile.

On the way to Monica's both stayed silent. Ross was still nervous because of his encouter with Dr Green and Rachel was still trying to recover from the impression of seeing him again. His hair was a bit longer and he seemed to have been working out. He looked hotter than ever.

Ross felt he should be the one taking the first step to break the ice. He could see Rachel was nervous just by the way she held her two hands together and looked through the window.

"Wanna listen to some music? You can turn on the stereo if you want" was the first thing that came into his mind

"Yeah, sure" replied Rachel leaning in to turn on the radio. Once she did 'With or without you' came through the sound system

"I love that song" comented Ross. The truth was that song made him think of her. Everytime he was missing her too much he would start listening to it. Chandler already hated it, just like everything else related to Rachel, he was so tired of that 'imaginary girl', how he used to call her thinking Ross had lost her mind in hallucinations

"It's a good song" replied Rachel, not sure what else could she say. "So... what did you do this year?" she asked after a while, once the song was already over

"Studying like crazy... being in college is not easy... and I moved to the dorms so I have a roommate now"

"Really? That sounds exciting... how's living on your own like? Is it fun?"

"Yeah well... you can say that... there are a lot of parties and stuff. But I'm not a party kind of guy"

"Yeah I know... me neither" replied Rachel. She wasn't very fond of parties. Just because of been who she was at her highschool she had to go to every single party her classmates made, but she never really had fun in any of those places, she always felt an outsider. That was one of the reasons why she loved hanging out with Ross and Monica, she could be herself, for once they made her feel like she belonged.

Both remained silent for a while. Rachel was feeling more relaxed now, the tension was dissapearing little by little, but she was still very nervous. There was something bugging her that she needed to get out of her chest, but didn't know how to ask. So she decided to go straight to the point "So... do you have a girlfriend?"

Ross looked at her impressed, taken back by the directness of her question, but thankful that she'd been the one avording the girlfriend/boyfriend issue. He just didn't know how to ask her. "No... not at all... do you?"

"Well, no... I don't have a girlfriend... I don't like girls" she joked and both laughed, feeling more confortable by the second

"I meant boyfriend" he explained

"That's better... and no... I don't have... actually... I haven't dated anyone the whole year. My friends at home thought I was sick"

"Really?... you haven't dated?... that's great!" replied Ross

"Great?" asked Rachel interested "why is it so great?"

"Well I.... I mean... you... maybe... I was thinking..." rambled Ross

Rachel's smile dissapeared as she moved away her head, rested her back in the car sit and looked the road outside "I was too busy thinking of you to date anyone else"

"What?" asked Ross, so impressed that he almost lost control of the car

"Please don't do that again" she said scared, with her hands on her chest

Ross pulled over the car at one side of the road and looked at her "What did you just said? You've been thinking about me?"

"Yes, that's what I say... is that too bad? I mean... we did have something last year, remember? And it was the best month of my life... so yeah, I've been thinking about you the last ten months"

Ross smiled, he could see she was a little pissed by his reaction and he liked it thinking it was so cute. The way she worried about everything and everyone like it was the most important issue in the world was one of the things he loved so much about her.

"Aren't you gonna say anything?" she asked starting to get nervous "I'm baring my soul here"

Ross smiled again before leaning in and kiss he. He had proved it was the only way to shut Rachel up when she started to get a bit whiny, not that he minded anyway, specially when it had been the one thing he had been wanting to do for 10 months.

They broke the kiss and Rachel got lost in his eyes. She couldn't stop looking at them, so warm, so sweet, so wise and yet so childish, and above all things so filled with love. She wondered if all that love was just for her or just all the love he had in his heart. Wichever was the case, she felt blessed that those loving eyes were looking at her. "Well said" she replied

"I've been thinking about you like crazy. Chandler can be my witness"

"Chandler?" asked Rachel as Ross started the car again after kissing her one more time

"My roommate, I've been telling him about you the whole year. He already thinks I'm crazy and that you are a product of my sick mind"

Rachel laugh "yeah, probably I am"

"That's what I think too... you are just too good to be true" he replied smiling at her

*~*

Rachel and Ross arrived to the Geller's house as Monica waited for them outside in the front porsh, really worried

"Where the hell have you been? What took you guys so long? I called your dad and he said you two had left like an hour ago and it doesn't take more than half hour to get here" said Monica concerned

"We... we got stuck in traffic" lied Ross. They had agreed they would tell Monica everything about them when she got back from camp, that way the 3 of them would have a fun that summer without much worries

"Big huge fat traffic colapse" added Rachel nodding

"Ok.. ok.. I was just worried" Monica looked at Rachel and smiled "I've missed you so much" she said before hugging her friend

"I've missed you too Mon"

Ross didn't want to interrupt that sweet scene, so quietly he went to the car to get Rachel's bag before going inside. He would have her for him the entire summer anyway. This was going to be the best summer ever, he thought smiling

*~*

"So... any guys this year?" asked Monica when the two girls were already in her pjs having a girls talk

"Well... not really"

"How come? You didn't go out with ANYBODY the entire year?"

"Nop" replied Rachel

"Why?" asked Monica surprised. She thought sice Rachel was so beautiful she would date a bunch of guys, she knew she would do it if she had a body like Rachel's

"Because..." replied Rachel with a sigh. She felt so guilty for not being totally honest with Monica about Ross "because there's this guy I really, really like and he's the only one I want to be with"

"Is he like.... your boyfriend or something?"

"No, well... I don't know... all I know is that I want to be with him and anyone else... I've been thinking about him the whole year"

"It seems to me that you are in love" said Monica with a huge grin on her face

"In love? No... I can't be in love... I mean... we don't know each other THAT well and... no it can't be"

"What? Why not? Love is like that Rach. It hits you when you less expect it. And it can be anywhere. Just by the way you are talking about this mysterious guy I can tell you are in love with him" said Monica matter of factly. She was a helpless romantic. She had watched every single chick flick and was always reading romantic novels, just because she longed to fall in love more than anything in the world. So she thought of herself as the master when it came to love issues. And now she was completly sure that her friend was indeed in love, she had all the symptoms.

"Ok... ok... enough about me... what about you?... any guy in mind?" asked Rachel trying to change the subject quickly. She didn't feel to confortable hidding the truth from Monica

"Well... kinda... there's this guy I really like... he's so cute"

"Really? What's his name?"

"Chandler... he's Ross' roommate"

*~*

Ross stood in front of Rachel's door very nervous, not because he'd be seeing her cause after Monica left they'd spent every single day together, but because Rachel had told him her dad wanted to talk to him. He knew Leonard Green didn't like him, he could feel it everytime he picked up the phone when he was calling Rachel or the few times he run into him when he came to pick up or drop Rachel before and after a date. Ross didn't know what Rachel's father wanted to talk to him about and was really nervous. "Relax honey, he probably just want to know you better, that's all" had told him Rachel. But something was telling him it was going to be like that... at all

"Come on in" said Dr Green after opening the door "Rachel's out shopping with her cousin, so it's going to be just the two of us boy"

"Ok sir" aswered Ross dissapointed. He was trusting he'd be seeing Rachel that afternoon, or at least that she'd be there to madiate between him and her father if he decided to kill him

"Can I offer you something to drink?"

"Just water... please" replied Ross. His throat was so dry that it hurted.

Dr Green handed him a glass of water with his eyes fixed on the boy as if he was studying every single one of his movements. "You must be intrigued about what I wanted to talk to you about, right kid?"

"I imagine you want to talk to me about Rachel" answered Ross

"That's right... you're smarter that I thought kid. But going straight to the point.... I'm worried about my daughter"

"You don't need to be sir. I'm really respectful and..."

"That's not what I'm talking about" interrupted Dr Green

"Then... then what is it sir?" asked respectfully Ross, he felt really intimidated by this man

"You... this relationship you two have. I talked to my ex-wife before Rachel arrived and she was really worried about her, she said she'd been acting weirdly the whole year. She doesn't go out with her friends anymore, she spend all of her time locked in her room. She told me all she could talk about was some guy she had met during the summer and how much she wanted to come back here just to see him again. All I want for my daughter is to be happy and have a normal life, and there's nothing normal or healthy for a 16 years old in all this. She needs to spend more time with people her age, not just two months a year. You have to understand kid that I want her to keep on visiting me, and her mother told me that she wasn't gonna allow Rachel to come here anymore if she kept acting weirdly, cause it wasn't good for her, and with the pain in my heart I have to agree with her. I want my daughter to come live with me after she finnish highschool, and if you carry on with this little game of yours I don't see that happening. Beside, nothing can asure me you really care about her. For all I know you could only be fooling around with her, just enjoying her company for two months, not taking her seriously"

"Not sir... not at all... I care about your daughter, I care about her a lot"

"Well, if that's true you'd stop this charade right here, right now!" ordered Dr Green energetic

"What?" asked Ross confused

"Look kid, you seem to be smart and rasonable. If you keep with this Rachel won't come to New York anymore. Is that what you want?"

Ross looked down sad. He couldn't believe this was gonna be it for him and Rachel. It was so unfair "no sir" he replied

"You understand why I am doing this, right kid?"

"Yes sir" replied again Ross without lifting his head from the ground

"Ok then... do you want anything else to drink?" asked Rachel's father as if nothing had happened, as if what he had asked Ross to do was the easiest thing in the world, as if Ross's heart wasn't breaking right there because of the possibility of not seeing Rachel anymore

"No sir, thank you... I... I have to got" said the young guy as both of them heard the apartment door opening and two girls laughing happily entered to the apartment. Dr Green looked at Ross with a smile that was really hard to read for him. Was he laughing at him? Or was he feeling sorry for him? Wichever was the care it pissed him off. If what this man made him feel before this chat was afraid, now he hated him with the same power he once felt intimidated by him.

Rachel entered to her father's study and saw Ross and her dad looking at each other weirdly but she didn't give it much importance. She'd been the whole day shopping and nothing cheered her more that that... well... nothing except maybe spending some time with Ross.

"Hey daddy" greeted Rachel to his father kissing him in the cheek

"Hello princess. How did the shopping go?"

"It went great! We bought almost everything in those stores!" she replied smiling

"Ok, I'm gonna leave you two kids alone now. I believe you have something to talk about" said Dr Green winking at Ross, who was looking at him expressionless.

Once Dr Green was out of the room, Rachel run into Ross' arms and kissed him, not noticing how much time it took him to react. "See? I told you the conversation wasn't gonna be so bad" she said once they broke the kiss.

Ross nodded and smiled weakly at her without looking straight into her eyes

"What happen honey? Is there something wrong?" she asked finally realizing Ross wasn't being his normal self

Ross looked at her and knew he wasn't able to do this now. Not now, they still had 3 more weeks to enjoy together before she had to go back to England and he wanted to make them the best 3 weeks of his life, he wanted to enjoy every single second he had left with her. "Nothing sweety" he replied hugging her by the waist "I was just thinking that we have only 3 weeks left and we better make them count" he added before kissing her passionatly.

*~*

"And he told you what?" asked Chandler amazed as he and his friend were having a cup of coffe at their favourite coffee place waiting for Rachel

"He told me to break up with her, to stop seeing her again"

"The guy is insane... I mean... you're not gonna do that.... right?"

"Actually... what he said does make sense"

"What?! Are you out of your mind? This is RACHEL!! You are like.... IN LOVE with her"

"Shhh" said Ross looking everywhere to see if Rachel was anywhere around. He didn't want her to know he was already in love with her, specially if he had planned to break up with her once the summer was over. It would make it even harder and more complicated than it already was. Once he confirmed the girl wasn't there, he looked down and sighed. "Yeah... I know I love her... and that's why I understand what her father said. She needs to meet somebody else, somebody who can be with her 24/7. I, having a whole ocean between us, am not the right guy for her... at least not now. I just want her to be happy man"

"Yeah well if you want her to be happy then it's ok. Breaking her heart and telling her you don't wanna be with her, that would make her really happy" comented sarcasticly Chandler

"I know it won't. But that would last until she realizes she has to move on and meet somebody else" Ross's eyes filled with pain. It was really hard to explain, almost impossible, how could he love so much someone who didn't even live in the same country he did and had only spent 3 or 4 months of his life with. But the thing was like that, and he couldn't do anything to change it. "I know I have to try to meet somebody else too".

"If you say so dude. But I don't think it's gonna be THAT easy"

"I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but it's the right thing to do now"

*~*

The day of Monica's arrival Rachel's days in New York were almost over. She only had two days to enjoy with her friend and tell her everything she had done that summer. Ross and her had agreed they would tell everything to Monica when she got back and now Rachel was dying to tell her friend how in love with her brother she was. The past two months had been incredible, Ross was the most amazing guy she had ever met and couldn't believe she'd have to wait 10 months to see him again. But this year it would be different, she would call him everyday to talk to him, she felt like she wasn't going to be able to breath is she didn't do so.

"I so want to see her again... she called me the other day and told me she had lost a lot of weight, that she looked at herself in the mirror and was a complete different person" said Rachel to Ross ansious to see her friend

Ross just nodded. He only had 2 days left to break things up with Rachel and every day that went by was even harder and more painful just to think about it. He was sure this was the day.

"So... how do you want us to tell her? who should start?"

"Tell her? what?" Ross had totally forgot they had agreed they would tell Monica

"About us silly... remember we have to tell her we are going out"

"Oh yeah.... about that" Ross looked down, he was really nervous, the guilt was eating him alive, but this was the right thing to do, otherwise he would never see her again. "I don't think we should tell her anything" he finally said

"What?... why?" asked Rachel confused as the smiled dissapeared from her face

"Yeah well... we don't need to tell her because.... because...." he couldn't do it, but he had to, he had to be a man and put himself together, it was for her own good "because you are leaving in two days and she doesn't need to know... you'll be spending all your time with her and we better tell her next year" he finnished. He hadn't been able to do it, it was too much for him

"But honey, Monica is my friend and your sister... and I don't wanna lie to her anymore. And in this two days I have left I want to be with her, but I also want to be with you"

"But maybe I don't want to be with you" he finally said without looking at her

"What?" she asked hurt

"I'm sorry Rachel... but this is too much for me" he said before running away upstairs to his room, not wanting to face Rachel, not wanting to see the pain in her eyes, not wanting her to see the tears in his.

And that was the first time Rachel felt her heart breaking. She didn't understand why Ross had said that, or if he really meant it. All she knew was that something had died inside of her that very same moment, the illusion maybe... but not the love. There had to be an explanation for all this, and she was determinated to find it. She wasn't going to give up on her love so easily, it would take a lot more than a few words to make her stop believing in them. She knew they were meant to be. She knew he was the one and only for her.

To be continue...

That's it for now.... I have the next chapter done too... so probably I'll be posting it tomorrow or the day after that.... once again THANK YOU VERY MUCH for reading it.... it means a lot to me, and remember TO LEAVE ME ONE OF YOUR REVIEWS... it's the only way I have to know if you're enjoying this or not ;)