Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, including Smeagol Deagol, his grandmother, the Aduin River, or any of the concepts of hobbits, or anything else Lord of the Rings. All of these belong to J.R.R. Tolkien, and are copyright and owned by the Tolkien estate. This is a work of fiction, and should not be considered a real part of The Hobbit, or the Trilogy. (Although it would be nice.) All I own is myself, and that's enough.

Part One of: If I Could

By Nesss

If I could prevent what happened that morning in the Gladden Fields along the Aduin River banks, if I could somehow stop a murder that would destroy the lives of many and rot the heart of an innocent little boy from the inside out, I would.

Too bad I couldn't.

I have a story that I would like to tell. I suppose I'm telling it because it's worth telling, for me, and it's more than just a love story or an angst or whatever you would like to call it. I'm going to try to tell it the best I can, even if my writing sucks. Even if everybody thinks that it's just another one of those Mary Sue self-insertions. That may be, but for those of you who have a care, and can look past the crappy "I fell into a time warp to Middle Earth" story line type deal, this is a story about obsession and love and effort. And though it may have led to failure in the end, not everything is about success.

This would be how I tried, and damn if I could. Just damn.

My name is Claire. Yes, that is my real name, and no I don't think it's a crappy name. It's a fine name because my parents gave it to me and at least they cared enough to give me one. I'm seventeen years old, and I'm young and naive and inexperienced.

I have long light brown hair that I wish to cut, fair skin, and have hazel eyes. I like to draw and sing in the shower and to write stories.

It basically, more or less began when I saw the movies. You know the whole "I was enlightened and impacted by LOTR" crap. I connected with Gollum. You know why? I'll tell you why. Because he was the only one who gave a shit enough to do what he set out to do, even if it was partly for evil intentions. Because he was absolutely raped of innocence at a young age by some ring that his friend found. And because, along with being a villain, he was a something of a hero. And that last part, if you really think about it, makes perfect sense.

I swear to God, I swear on the holiest of holy bibles that if I had been there, and I could have stopped that goddamn fish from pulling Deagol in the water, I would have. I would have killed that fish. I would have gutted that thing, and then I would snap both their fishing rods in two and run.

Love is too shallow a thing to express what it is I'm trying to say, or why I want to say it. Perhaps the story I will right will be a better definition.

This is only the preface (or whatever it's called) If you like what you've read so far you can give your opinion on the direction the story's going.