Hello people!!! yes... I haven't forgotten about this fic... I know it's been a really long time since the last time I updated, but school, and writter's block haven't been my friends... anyway... here it is the new chapter (finally) and i think i'll post the one after this pretty soon too (I have the next 2 chapters written already, I just need to type them)...

So now before we start maybe you wanna give the fic another look... it's been a really really long time and I'm sorry for that... it won't happen again

I guess there's no need to say this characters don't belong to me, right?

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"Ross, I think we need to go… NOW!!" insisted Monica

"Why?" Ross asked confused

"RACHEL!!" yelled Ben when he turned around and saw the nice lady who brought him home that afternoon. "Daddy, she's the lady I was telling you about!!"

Overcoming the lonelyness - Chapter 7 (Nowdays)

"He... hello Ross" Rachel's words broke the uncomfortable silence that lasted more than anyone could bare. Monica sighed in relief that Rachel didn't pass out of the impression, but with her eyes fixed on her brother. She had never seen him so pale, like he had just seen a ghost.

"We gotta get out of here Ben" said Ross standing up quickly and grabbing his son's hand without raising his eyes to face Rachel, feeling how his heart beat so fast it hurt

"Ross... wait..." said Monica, also standing up. "Aren't you at least saying hello to Rachel? She just greeted you!" she added. Monica wanted her brother and Rachel to sit down and talk about everything that had happened 5 years ago. She knew if Rachel explained everything to him he would understand, and at least they could be in the same room together. She wanted them to be friends, to be happy, to finally be able to move on.

"It's ok Monica... I... I should be the one leaving. Coming here was not a good idea"

"No Rach, wait..." said Monica

"Let her leave" said bitterly Ross "she's good at that"

Rachel looked down and felt her eyes filling with tears. All the emotions she'd been fighting with since she saw Ross a few seconds before Ben saw her were now beating her. She knew if she started crying now she wouldn't stop. Ross hated her. She didn't blame him though, she hated herself too.

"Would you please stop?!... we are in a public place for God's sake" Monica was starting to get pissed. She knew her brother was hurt and angry at Rachel, but knowing the whole story and haven been the only one who stood by Rachel's side that horrible evening their lifes changed, she couldn't help but being on Rachel's side. It was hard for her to remember he didn't know what happened and not getting angry at him, especially not now that Rachel seemed so fragile and broken. Meeting Ben and running into Ross the same day was more than what Rachel could take. "The ones leaving should be Phoebe, Ben and I... you two have a lot of talking to do..." she added as she took Ben's other hand. The kid was stoned by the fact that his daddy seemed to know the nice hallway lady.

"I... I can't" muttered Rachel, looking at the ground, feeling everybody's eyes on her. Everybody's but Ross's. She was scared of what he could say; she wasn't ready for this yet. All she wanted to do was catch the first fly to London and leave everything behind, just like the first time.

Ben let go of Monica and Ross's hands and stood in front of Rachel, looking at her for a moment, amazed. "So, you are Rachel? Aunt Rachel?... cool!!... I thought you were like Santa or something!"

Rachel looked at the little boy weirdly, not understanding a single word "Santa? What? Huh?" she muttered, somehow relieved that the attention wasn't on her and Ross anymore.

"Yeah... you know... unreal... another excuse for my aunt Monica to give me presents at Christmas and my birthday" he replied before hugging her by the legs "thank you". Through Monica, Rachel had made Ben get presents every year. Monica never understood why, not even Rachel did, but she felt like it was something she had to do, something she wanted to do. Somehow she saw in Ben something she had lost, she had felt it that day he was born and she got to see him for a few minutes, and now that she had finally met him the connection she imaginated was really there, it was real, it was inexplicable, and it made her feel really good. Not even the fact that he was other woman's son bother her, she only knew this kid was special.

Rachel felt her heart skipped a bit, she felt really close to Ross's son, she felt him like her own. "I'm... I'm glad you liked them" was all she could say as she kept fighting the tears forming in her eyes.

"Like them? Are you kidding? The robot you sent me on my birthday was the best!! I play with it everyday" he answered matter of factly

Rachel kneeled down, look at the boy sweetly and just seeing the happiness in his eyes she smiled. 'Twice in a day' she thought 'he's really Ross's son'. "Now... what's with that thing about Santa not being real? Who told you that?" she asked, trying to sound serious

"Oh oh... you didn't know?" said very concerned Ben covering his mouth with his two hands. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew!! Joey didn't know either and I made him cry" he explained looking really guilty "I saw it on a documentary a while ago"

Rachel, who a minute ago had been fighting tears, was now fighting laughter "You don't have to believe everything they say on TV" she said

"My daddy always tells me the same thing" he said pointing to Ross, who was looking at his son and Rachel's conversation in a daze, forgetting all the anger and the pain. Ever since Carol left him, Ben hadn't gotten along with any of the girls he had dated, well, not that he had dated a lot, it had only been a year and he was slowly getting back on his feet, but Ben seemed to disagree with every single girl he picked, but with Rachel he had just clicked, like they've known each other since forever. 'Like mother and son' he caught himself thinking. But Ben wasn't Rachel's son, even though he had dreamt about it a thousand times. He was his and Carol's. Rachel hadn't been brave enough to stay with him, she hadn't loved him enough to share his dreams. She had run away from him, taking all his illusions with her.

Ben approached to Rachel's ear and whispered. "Why is daddy so mad at you? And how can he be so mad and sad at the same time?"

Rachel looked at Ross who immediately looked away, wondering if he had heard his son question. The little guy seemed to know him better than anyone there, because no one had seemed to notice the fight between those two feelings that was going inside of him. No one else, except for his son and Rachel.

"I made a big mistake a long time ago, and hurt your daddy really bad" she replied raising her voice so the boy's father could hear her "If he can't forgive me I understand, I'm not asking for his forgiveness" she added finally raising her eyes and looking straight into Ross' as she spoke "I... I... guess I'll see you around Ben... I gotta go now... Mon, Phoebe... bye bye" she said as she stood up. Monica and Phoebe looked at her and smiled weakly

"Wait" said Ross when Rachel was almost out the door. "Monica, Phoebe... would you please take Ben with you? I... I... I need to talk to Rachel... alone"

"Sure" replied Monica as she looked at the astonished look on Rachel's face before quickly leaving the coffee house with her ex-roommate and her nephew

"Aunt Monica?" asked Ben once they were out of the coffee house "Do you think daddy will forgive Rachel?"

"I don't know sweetheart" was all she could answer. She had been asking herself the very same question for years

"I hope he does. I like her. She seems sweet. She doesn't look like a bad person"

"She isn't sweety. She's just a girl who made bad decisions"

"Who knows, she may end up being your new mommy" added Phoebe

"PHOEBE!!" exclaimed Monica alarmed. She still held a tiny little hope of seeing Ross and Rachel together again, but didn't want Ben to get his hopes high; he had already lost a mommy.

"I would LOVE that!!" said the kid excited. "I'm gonna convince my daddy to forgive her so she could be my new mommy!!. Thanks Phoebs!" said the kid as he entered to Chandler and Monica's apartment while Monica shot Phoebe a killer look.

Rachel remained standing next to the door for a while, not sure of what she should do next. Her instincts still yelled at her to get the hell out of there, but her heart wanted her to stay and see what was going to happen. As usual, she followed her heart.

"Do you need something Rachel?" asked Gunther as he passed near her

"Water" she said with a dry voice as she looked at Ross who, in that moment, was also looking at her.

"You can sit" said Ross standing up from the arm chair. He knew she liked that sit too. "I'm not gonna bite you. I just want to talk" His voice was clam and warmer than before. She smiled weakly and nodded softly as she walked her way to the couch.

Ross sat on the big couch and took a sip from his coffee as Gunther stood by Rachel's side with a glass of water.

"Thank you" said Rachel to the blond guy with another attempt of a smile. He smiled shyly at her and left, leaving Ross and Rachel on their own.

Ross noticed how Rachel started playing with her hands and smiled, not sure if anyone could see his smile though. She was nervous. He knew it, and loved still being able to notice it. She was probably expecting him to yell at her like the last time, but he wasn't feeling angry anymore. He just wanted to understand

"Rachel, I..." he started, but she interrupted him

"Look Ross, I know you hate me and think I'm a heartless bitch, you already told me that once and I don't think I have the energies to hear it again right now" she said quickly without taking her eyes from her hands. "I better get going then... I should probably go home, I don't want to cause you any trouble or anything" she added nervously as she stood up

Quickly Ross took her by the arm and begged her to sit again. Just the touch of his hand made her shiver. He still had that effect on her.

"When you said home... you mean London?" he asked quizzical

Rachel looked at him weirdly; not understanding what was happening or where was this going. Why was he talking to her like nothing happened? Shouldn't he be yelling right now? "Ye... yes" she replied

"Since when do you call London 'home'? if I remember correctly you used to refuse to get use to that place. That was why you never caught the accent. You used to think this was your home"

What Ross was saying was true, and it hurt her to think about it. She used to think this was her home, that her real family was here, this was the place she belonged to. In 5 years a lot of thing had changed. "I've... I've lived there more than I've lived here... and it's a lot less painful" she answered

"And still you haven't caught the accent" Ross said half smiling

She didn't want this, she didn't feel like she was going to be able to sit there talking to him as if nothing happened for any longer. She couldn't take it anymore. She wanted him to yell at her, even hit her. She didn't want him to be this nice, she didn't want him to be this charming, she didn't want him to still be him, at least not with her, she didn't deserve it. "Ross... what is it that you want?" she finally asked

"I want a lot of things" he said, taking another sip from his coffee. A big silence followed his answer as his eyes wondered through the space. Many memories came through his mind once again. Happy memories, sad memories, tears, laughers, love, pain and loneliness "But above all things I want to understand" he added after a while "I want to know what happened. I want you to explain me why did you leave"

Rachel looked at Ross for a few seconds without answering. A million things going through her mind. A million doubts. A million fears. A million reasons not to and a million reason why she should have to. She owed it to him she thought, but was he ready? Was she ready? One thing she knew, she was tired of being afraid of the past. She knew one day she'd have to tell him. It was the only way they could finally move on

"Ok... but not know... not here" she said firmly

"Tomorrow at my apartment then"

She looked down and started to play with her hands again. "You better leave Ben at Monica's then. It's a long story"

"No problem then. You know where I live. Tomorrow at... let's say 7?"

"Sure" she said as she stood up and started to leave

"Rachel!" He called her out as he stood up. Rachel turned around to face him and saw his eyes shinning and his warm smile, that smile she missed so much. "Thank you" he added sincerely.

She smiled back at him and nodded before leaving the coffee place as she started to put her together her thoughts and energies for what was yet to come

To Be Continue....

Ps: Next two chapters are from the past... so you'll have to wait a little longer to know what is going to happen here.... please.... remember to REVIEW.... your words mean A LOT to me.... ;)