Reviews and Replies are, as always, saved for the last bit. The Spiritflask makes a comeback in this chapter. Poor Arty...

Artemis: Don't call me Arty, and what exactly do you have in store for me?

Me: Something bad. Now get back on the screen.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, and Artemis is NOT the Half Blood Prince. He is also NOT the Heir of Slytherin. Hey, we all know he's filthy rich too, so let's make him richer, eh? :-)

Chapter II: Vauthorn
Angeline Fowl sat at her desk, perusing the thick parchment that was her letter. There were plenty of hidden meanings in it, but the majority of them were made clear. Especially where the sender had warned her that should Artemis fail to comply with the instructions in his letter, all of his memories that pertained to magic would be removed, with a possible risk of a drop in I.Q. Blackmail, was it? The Fowls were certainly dealing with a sly bunch of wizards here.

The elegant lady kneaded her forehead. Was this a sign? Some sort of omen that superstitious people talked endlessly about? She'd had an odd dream last night. Being cast out on the Irish streets.The dream had ended quickly then, with a woman leaving a necklace around Angeline's neck, with a key for a pendant: the silver chain had been threaded through a hole in the top of the key. It was identical, Angeline remembered, to one that her smiling mother had given her at age twelve. An old, ancient-looking silver key with a V just below the hole, with a flame pattern curled around it.One and the same? Who knew.

Angeline still kept the key, locked away in a drawer since her mother's death. Now, as the dream came to her for the first time, she remembered the woman. Long, waist-length brown hair that bore great resemblance to Angeline's raven locks. Warm hazel eyes and the general face shape also bore resemblance to Angeline's. Angeline was starting to wonder - there was a possibility, albeit a tiny one, that the female could be her real biological -

"Mother?"

Artemis stood just outside the room, a parchment clutched in one hand.

"Yes, Arty," Angeline forced a warm smile. "I know about it too. I received a letter somewhat similar to yours, but unlike yours," she added mischievously, glancing at something slightly to the right of Artemis's legs, "the messenger landed smoothly."

Artemis looked downwards. An eagle owl, its matted feathers still stuck together with syrup, walked stiffly in, glaring balefully at the boy.

Angeline laughed. "Would this Minerva McGonagallmind if Juliet and I were to accompany you and Butler to this Diagon Alley?"

"I'm sure she wouldn't." Artemis glared back at the owl, and most decidedly got the better of the exchange.

The sun was shining on the shoppers that wandered the paths of Diagon Alley, dressed in heavy robes and cloaks even on the warm day. Four of them, led by a stern-looking lady with squarish glasses, were decked out in identical black cloaks - Butler's flapped around the back of his knees. The five of them were bound for Gringotts Wizarding Bank, to exchange some Muggle (Irish, in this case) currency for some golden Galleons. Artemis wasn't in a good mood. Who knew wizards had cosmetics? Juliet had been sidetracked and (almost) gotten lost twice, resulting in mass panic on Butler's part. Yes, Artemis definitely had to cancel Juliet's subscription to Seventeen.

His mother had been acting odd too, casting glances around and surreptitiously slipping something silver into her pocket when she thought he wasn't looking. Artemis hated when his mother kept secrets from him - very hypocritical of him, really, considering what he knew about the LEP.

Although he wouldn't be admitting it to anyone any time soon, he was impressed by Diagon Alley. Flourish and Blotts looked intriguing, with those gold-plated books in the display window. Following the arrow sign that said 'to Knockturn Alley' had interesting prospects as well. As he continued on his way, he distinctly heard a worried mother tell her small child, "Now that's Knockturn Alley, Gilbert. Don't go there, that's where all the bad people and criminals go."

"Ga-ga!" Gilbert said happily.

Bad people and criminals. Sounded like Artemis' type of place, he thought, smirking as they finally reached Gringotts. Standing just beside the bronze doors, clad in a scarlet-and-gold uniform, was clearly a goblin. He bowed them in and they were faced with a second pair of doors, this time silver. Engraved in curling, elegant script were the words:

Enter, stranger, but take heed

Of what awaits the sin of greed,

For those who take, but do not earn,

Must pay most dearly in their turn.

So if you seek beneath our floors

A treasure that was never yours,

Thief, you have been warned, beware

Of finding more than treasure there.

"Now," McGonagall spoke loudly so that all of the party could hear, "you must take note of those words. It's just a rumour, mind you, but I've heard that dragons guard those vaults," she finished, eyeing Artemis pointedly.

A goblin who'd just shown someone out was scrutinising Artemis, and, after glancing around, went up to him. Artemis hung back a little to speak with the goblin, anticipating boredom and exasperation while he explained the definition of the word 'definition' to it. He was slightly taken aback, though, when the goblin greeted him in fluent English. "Very well. And you would be -"

" - Rufik. Like the good madam leading you and your company said, heed our warning. We goblins know of you, and I personally doubt if anyone under the earth has not. My advice to you is to stay far away from the vaults, if you know what's good for you," he finished ominously.

"Ah. I presume your race is considerably more intellectual than your underground cousins, judging by the fact that this bank is functioning splendidly?"

"No competition there, Master Fowl. We goblins have powerful magic of our own, and our enchantments are stronger than most."

"Artemis?" Angeline was calling her son. "Arty? Hurry up!"

Artemis glared at the goblin. "If one word about my humiliating nickname reaches the pointy ears of Captain Short..."

"I keep my word," Rufik said. "Oh, and Arty, just so you know, we have a nice number of Hungarian Horntails prowling the bank."

Artemis strode forward to stand beside his bodyguard, who was ever curious about the conversation. "Artemis, what did the goblin want?"

"He was simply describing in great detail the lengths that the vault-guardians will go to in order to keep out unwanted intruders."

"Ah. Not threatening you, was he?"

Artemis didn't bother to respond, for he was observing the exchange of words between McGonagall and the goblin - or rather, the item between them. A bronze key. Angeline, too, was staring at the item. Suddenly, in a softer voice than usual, she started speaking to the goblin. "Please ignore what she said on changing Muggle money. I wonder, does this key mean anything to you?" Having said that, she deposited an item on the top of the goblin's desk; the same silver item she had taken earlier. Artemis assumed that this was a key.

The goblin's thin eyebrows nearly jumped off his face. "By Frond," he whispered, examining the key as if to determine its authenticity. "How did you come by this, Mud M- Muggle?"

"I - I was given it," Angeline said, getting a bit nervous.

The goblin nodded. "So you wish to open the Vauthorn Vault?"

Artemis and Juliet had serious migraines by the time they exited the cart. The journey had taken many twists and turns, as well as steep dives, rather like an unhealthy magical version of a roller coaster. McGonagall had taken the cart with them, but had left some time ago, on account of 'prior engagements'. Artemis took her words with a grain of salt - she had looked a bit green, and Artemis very much doubted if she was telling the truth.

Juliet was having a difficult time walking straight, and was humming U2's loud track 'Vertigo' to herself. Artemis was extremely shaken and didn't really want to think, let alone in sophisticated vocabulary. Angeline, however, seemed to have enjoyed the ride greatly, for reasons Artemis couldn't comprehend. Then again, he probably couldn't comprehend a self-written computer program, what with the state he was in.

Rufik had maintained a stoic face throughout the journey. Now, he dismounted the cart nimbly and moved over to the Vauthorn Vault, also known as Vault #818. He then stroked the thick magical barrier in front of what was presumably the vault. The barrier dissolved to reveal a large door with no keyhole. Rufik moved closer to the door and murmured something soft in Gnommish. Unfortunately, it didn't quite escape Artemis' excellent hearing. The password, his motion-sick brain noted down, was Reconnaissance.

The door split itself into two along a line that had previously gone unnoticed. At last, the group was faced with a brass door with a silver keyhole in the center, with a flame pattern around the keyhole. Engraved above it was the letter V. Around the V and keyhole were ornate carvings of what were likely to be the previous Vauthorns, absorbed in various magical activities - probably the ones they excelled at in their lives. Rufik pressed the silver key into Angeline's palm, beckoning her to open it. "Two and a half times anti-clockwise," he instructed. It clearly took all of Angeline's strength to twist it in the said direction, but she did. There was a series of clicks and the key was immediately ejected into Rufik's stomach. The Gnommish swearing was ignored by all as the door slid upwards to reveal the contents of the vault. Artemis was the first to step inside.

He was greeted immediately by a large mound of golden Galleons that would have lasted even a greed-filled person like Artemis a lifetime - two if you were frugal. Artemis picked up a coin and examined it. Definitely genuine, and highest quality gold to boot. All of it together was probably enough to provide for a small country. Beside that was a gigantic pile of Sickles and heaps of little bronze Knuts, as Rufik had told them. If that wasn't enough, there were plenty of jewels, enough to satisfy a mine of dwarfs. Diamonds, opals and rubies. Lapis lazuli. Beautiful. And all organized into squarish piles.

"I wonder what this does?" the not-quite-lucid Juliet wondered. Artemis was snapped out of his gold fever by the creak of a stiff, rusty lever being yanked down. Suddenly, ornate window-shaped (rather like the type one found in a church) blocks were retracted into the walls. Out of the new hollows slid stone statues of what were probably the Vauthorns of old. All of them, however, had been painted in full colour. Add in the dark lighting of the vault and it made for a spooky atmosphere that horror movie directors would have revelled in - the statues looked strangely alive. The statues bore weapons that differed from each other's. Swords, katanas, crossbows, daggers and longswords made the scenery so much more imposing. The names of the people after whom the statues were modelled were engraved into the front of the platforms on which the statues stood. Glowing in white.

"Impressive statues," Butler commented.

"And a lot of money and jewels to go with it," Rufik agreed.

CLUNK!

Juliet had somehow wandered into a wall. As she slid down, she dragged another lever with her. This one wasn't as old or rusty. On the contrary, it was smooth and well-oiled. Artemis glanced around quickly, to see what other secrets the vault had concealed within it. He didn't have long to wait.

In the very center of the room rose up a simple wooden table. Balanced on it, with supports like those of a toy chemistry set, was a single, small vial, with a blue and green mist inside it. It could have been Artemis' imagination, but the blue and green seemed to be ... fighting each other. Set in the opening of the vial was a blue diamond, the exact shade of Artemis' eyes.

When Artemis looked back on this memory in the years to come, he berated himself for letting the migraine get to him. That was a forgivable sin, if not for the fact that he had, in his delirium, walked forward and uncorked the vial. That was an entirely different matter, and one that would plague him in the years to come.

The blue and green mists suddenly fused as one and engulfed Artemis. Coughing slightly, he was faintly aware of falling to his knees. Perhaps he was still a bit sick from the ride, but he could have sworn he saw two others, two ghostly forms, in the blue-green smoke.

The mist was the last thing he saw before he blacked out.

Artemis: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

Me: Er...nothing! Yes, that's exactly it! Nothing! That's right!

Artemis: It's quite obvious you're lying.

Readers: No, not a cliffie!

Reviews, please. (Gives readers a big puppy eyes look, at which the readers and potential reviewers back away in disgust.)

Mysterious voices in chapter three...

..."One of my more unusual combinations. Cedar and dragon heartstring."...

..."Shut UP, you old hag!"...

Place the two voices right and get a cookie. (Readers eye the author's empty cookie jar.)

--EvilExpressions

Oh, and if there are any spelling errors, BLAME IT ON THAT &$$ QUICKEDIT! It's sticking words together where they're not supposed to be. If I missed any, sorry.