No More Words
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There aren't any words that could describe what I felt that day.
But I didn't want to say goodbye.
At the time, I didn't see that I was a coward. I didn't see how selfish I was.
All I wanted was someone to be with me...
... someone to keep me from being alone.
I've always been alone, Sonic. That's why I wanted you to stay...
With all my heart, I wanted you to stay. My entire soul, screaming and tearing at you, begging you to stay here, in my world, asking you to forget about everything, all of your friends, your world, your home, just so you could stay with me...
... just to keep me from being alone.
I didn't want to be alone.
I didn't want to say goodbye.
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I've always been alone. No one with me, no one who understood what it was like to be me...
Danny, Frances, Helen... my friends, but not my friends.
Ella, Tanaka, Grandpa, even they couldn't understand.
And my parents, least of all.
It wasn't their fault. How could they have known? Dad was busy, Mom was busy... they were the ones out there, making enough money to give me every sort of luxury I could ever imagine...
But I didn't want that...
If I could have gotten them to come home by giving up everything they had given me, I would have done it in an instant.
That morning, when everyone left, I remembered myself, little again, standing in the front hallway, right before the doors.
Dad and Mom... standing in the doors, saying goodbye to me, telling me to be good...
And then that question that I asked, every time I ever saw them...
"If I'm good, will you come back soon?"
I was too young to see. Too young to understand the meaning between the look they exchanged.
Too young to see that, despite their promise of "yes," they wouldn't come back until work was finished... which could take months. True, they came back occasionally, but it was always rushed and they were always running back off to work.
Except for one summer. The summer we stayed at the lake in the mountains... But that summer passed all too quickly, and it was back to work for them.
So years passed, holidays and birthdays, and all I got were presents. Yes, they were the best presents that money could buy, but I didn't want any of that...
I had everything that any kid could want. Everything and then some.
But what good are presents if you're alone?
So they sent me to public school, so I could be with other kids my age. But I don't think it went as they planned. I was known as the kid with the famous parents, the rich kid, who was spoiled beyond reasonable thought. Made fun of, used, ignored. No one took the time to know me. But then I met my real friends, the ones who started to know me for who I was, and for once I felt like maybe I wasn't so alone anymore.
But as time went by, I realized that no one, not even Danny, Frances, or Helen could understand me. Everyone had their parents with them all of the time... but mine were missing. Gone, and as far as I knew, they were gone forever. My friends were trying their best to be just that, friends, and as much as I loved them and being with them, I knew I was missing something... someone.
Who'd have ever thought that I would rescue that 'someone' out of the pool?
I was lying awake, like I usually did, when I heard a sound like a geyser erupting. Rushing downstairs and outside, I could see something on the pool floor. When it didn't move, I became frightened for it. Without a thought, I jumped in to save it.
When my eyes adjusted to being underwater, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Whatever this creature was, it was bright blue and almost looked human.
But as soon as I pulled him to the surface and was helping him get his breath back, I realized exactly how different Sonic was. A hedgehog, but a blue hedgehog who could talk and loved to run...
Somehow, during that first night, I realized that I had found my friend.
Sonic was different from anyone I had ever known; a free spirit, who didn't worry about anything or what others thought, but simultaneously the most caring person I had ever met. I wanted him to be my friend immediately. The next morning, when I tried to give him the foods that I thought hedgehogs liked, and he subsequently left my house, I was devastated. I was so relieved when he returned.
As most people know, my life took a U-turn when I met Sonic. All of his friends came to live with us, and for once I wasn't the most famous person people talked about at school. And of course, as soon as Sonic appeared, his enemy, Dr. Eggman, appeared too. My life was full of everything it had been missing before; excitement, adventures... and friends.
Though I had my doubts about my new companions, like whether they were really going to go home as soon as possible, it was all dispelled when Sonic chose to bring part of their world to mine, making it so that they could stay... From there, we went through a lot together; battles with Chaos, tears over Shadow, and the endless fight against Eggman. I didn't want it to ever end.
So when the professor of science came to our house and spoke with Grandpa, telling him the dire truth about the two worlds... I couldn't take it.
Screaming that everyone was lying, I tore out of the room, not wanting to believe what was true...
Wanting to credit Eggman with the horrible news, I rushed to his new "headquarters," yelling, wailing at him to confess. However, he simply replied that he had nothing to do with this...
I felt myself breaking. This had to have been his work. "You're lying!" I cried out.
Irritably, he turned to me and spoke those burning words of truth...
"Stupid!" he told me. "You only rely on others, and if something bad happens, you expect them to take care of you! You always want to be with Sonic, because without him you're completely alone!"
Those words stung me... because I knew they were true. And that was the first time that I even began to consider the truth of what was happening...
Our worlds existed in the same place, in different times and dimensions, but were coming together through Chaos Control. Because of that, time was being warped, slowing down...
If the two worlds weren't separated again, then time would stop, spelling disaster... but separating the worlds would mean sending everyone back home.
At once, Tails and Grandpa started working on a dimension gate, a huge machine that could utilize Chaos Emeralds and Chaos Control to send back everything that didn't belong in this world. Even Eggman sent a computer chip to finish the project.
Pretty soon, it was time for the morning of farewells.
I dressed up in my best suit, realizing that this was more than just a casual "see you later sometime."
But that didn't stop me from hoping. When we got to the bridge where the gate was stationed and Tails activated it, the machine died right away. Everyone was worried, because there simply weren't enough Chaos Emeralds to power it.
Even though everyone else was concerned, I felt a wave of relief wash over me, just like that first day when Sonic returned to my house...
Then, to my selfish dismay, Sonic revealed that he'd found the red Chaos Emerald the day before. After inserting the Emerald, Tails reactivated the machine, and this time succeeded in sending back everything from their world, including Eggman and his new battleship.
The only ones left were Sonic and his closest friends. However, just then, the machine stopped running again, completely drained of power. Again, I felt relief. There were no more Chaos Emeralds. Without any energy, the portal between the two worlds would be shut forever. They couldn't go home.
They'd have to stay with me.
Tails and Grandpa busily fussed over the controls, while the others looked on anxiously. I'm sure that I was the only one who was glad about this turn of events... and that made me feel slightly guilty. However, the thought of Sonic staying with me forever drowned out that feeling.
Suddenly, a huge beam of light shot down from the sky. Everyone shut their eyes in the brightness, and I knew that things were not going to turn out the way I wanted...!
"It's from ARK," Tails gasped. Somehow, that energy was coming from the cannon on the space colony.
Without a moment's hesitation, the last few goodbyes were said. Cream, Cheese, and Vanilla were the first to leave. Danny, Frances, and Helen gave them crowns of flowers, just as Cream loved to make for them, and all of them began crying at the thought of leaving. Through the tears, Cream, Cheese, and Vanilla stepped into the light and were gone.
Next was Amy. She and Ella tried their best not to cry, but when Ella handed Amy a notebook with her special recipes in it, they couldn't help themselves. Holding her suitcase with all of her belongings which had been in her apartment just a few days ago, Amy called out, "Goodbye!" and was gone too.
Third was Tails. He and Grandpa said goodbye to each other, and I realized how close the two of them had become. Tails started up the blue Tornado airplane and was gone.
Fourth was Rouge. In farewell, she gave Topaz a green brooch, though she acted like it was nothing. Without a tear, without any sign of emotion, she quickly walked through the gate... but I think we all knew she was hiding how she really felt. Right after her was Knuckles, who didn't have anyone to say goodbye to. Even so, we were all going to miss him...
Last was Sonic... and I knew I had to say goodbye to him...
... but I couldn't...
"Well, Chris, I guess this is it," he said to me.
"Yeah... I guess so..." I said back to him.
But in my mind, something whispered...
'... no...'
"Do your best over here!" Sonic said to me.
"You too..."
'No...'
"Goodbye," he said, smiling.
"Goodbye, Sonic..."
'No...!'
Without another word, Sonic reached up to me, and we shook hands...
'No!!'
Silently, he turned his back to me and began walking toward the gate...
... and I snapped.
'NO!!'
Without a moment's hesitation, I felt myself running. Without a thought as to what I was doing, I reached out toward the gate controls.
Without a care as to what Sonic thought, I pressed the shutdown button.
Instantly, the light dissipated, and the dimension gate closed.
Sonic was trapped.
I had trapped him.
I'll never forget the look on his face... a look of confusion...
... but at the same time, complete understanding.
It was then that the memory of my parents leaving me came back. I grabbed Sonic's hand and dashed away into the nearby forest. Everyone else was too surprised and shocked to react quickly.
As we were running, the guilty feeling came back. Sadly, I squeezed Sonic's hand tighter...
... and was reassured when he tightened his grip, too. He ran in front of me, pulling me faster than I could have gone on my own.
We ran all night. The next morning, I found an old bicycle, and we traveled on that. Pretty soon, we were out in the desert, riding along the highway, when we stopped at a diner for a minute. However, we soon saw a strange message on the television...
"Chris! Please come back!" It was my mom, hamming it up in front of the news cameras. Both Sonic and I listened in confusion to her bizarre wailing. We left quickly, before anyone could find us.
As we left, I felt angry at my parents for making everything so public. "Why do they have to do this?!" I said to Sonic.
"Well, they want to protect you," he pointed out.
"Only at times like this! Otherwise..." I was cut off by the sound of helicopters flying behind us.
"Do you want to give up?" Sonic asked me.
No. I couldn't go back. They didn't care about how I felt when they were gone... why should I care now?! "No!" I cried out.
"Wait here," Sonic said. In a few seconds, he had gotten us a ride with a farmer in a truck. When we reached the mountains, we got out and started hiking.
It was there that I noticed that Sonic was always walking behind me, as if to protect me. Remembering what Eggman had told me earlier, I felt some sort of strength rise up in me, as if I wanted to prove myself, so I started walking faster. However, it didn't do me any good, as I soon tripped. In an instant, Sonic was at my side, asking if I was okay.
"I'm fine..." I replied, not wanting to have to rely on him...
We soon reached the summit, and there I found a surprise.
This was the place where I had stayed with my parents during that summer. The summer that they both stopped working to stay with me.
The summer when I wasn't alone.
Together, Sonic and I ran toward the cabin. Unfortunately, there was a lock on the door, so we couldn't get in. I tried to open it, but it wasn't any use. Then, as soon as I turned away, I heard the sound of rusty metal breaking, and looked back to see Sonic holding the broken lock and chain in his hands.
"Hehe... I think I broke it," he grinned apologetically at me.
That night, I went out into the woods to get as much firewood as I could possibly find. But as I was walking back to the campsite, I almost fell again, dropping the wood... However, Sonic was there again, just in time to catch both me and the firewood. Feeling rather guilty for having to fall back on him again, I took the wood and started up a fire.
As we sat around the fire, questions began to rise up in me. I turned to Sonic and asked, "Why did you come with me?" He didn't have to; after all, I was the one who had stopped him from going home.
"Well, you rescued me," Sonic said, and the memory of that first night passed through my memory again.
My spirits suddenly fell. "Then... you only stayed because you felt like you were obligated to... not because we're friends?"
Sonic laughed. "Chris... Friendship is like freedom. You can decide freely about where and whom you want to be with. I wanted to follow you."
His words about freedom, friendship... they tore at me. I became angry. "But I'm the one who took away your choice to leave! I took away your freedom... I'm the reason why you're still here...
"... and I've betrayed our friendship..."
My eyes burned with tears, and I began to cry, wanting Sonic to be free from me, but simultaneously not wanting him to leave at all. If he left, who would I have?
Sonic was everyone I had ever wanted in my life. He was different, so much different from everyone else... Not a human, but not an animal... not a kid, but not a grown-up... But most of all, he never criticized anybody, while at the same time standing up for everything he believed in. He had the freedom and the strength to be as free as he wanted...
... and I was the chain holding him to the ground, keeping him from running, keeping him from what he loved...
"I'm a coward..." I finally whispered.
To my surprise, though, Sonic merely walked over to me and touched my shoulder. "I don't think so," he responded. "You jumped into that pool without hesitating, to save me. You are strong inside."
Without any more words, I reached out and pulled him into my arms.
'Thank you... for being there for me...'
Suddenly, I saw the Chaos Emeralds, floating in the air... and I remembered the form of Chaos Control that didn't need machines...
All it needed were the Emeralds... and someone who could use Chaos Control...
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My parents arrived not much later, finding me standing on the dock on the lake, staring up at the moon. Crying, they both embraced me, and I could see that things were going to be different from then on. They asked me where Sonic was, and I told them that he had gone home. They cried some more and told me not to worry... I wasn't going to be alone anymore. While I had been gone, Grandpa had scolded them, telling them how I didn't need presents and luxuries... I needed parents who were there for me.
But even though I did miss Sonic, I would never forget those last few moments with him.
When the light from the Emeralds fused together and he had absorbed their energy, he smiled and pulled me down so that I was lying on his back, our faces next to each other, looking forward.
"Hold on tight, and get ready to fly!"
It was all I could do to hang onto him as we sped across the mountains. Knowing that this was his way of saying goodbye, I felt the tears fall from my face, cool and calming tears this time.
Then, I felt something hit my face. A tear.
A tear that wasn't mine.
And as I looked forward, I knew that Sonic was going to miss me just as much as I was going to miss him.
Somehow, in that instant, everything was okay. I had been selfish; nothing could change that... But Sonic had forgiven me. In fact, I don't think he had ever held it against me. Was this friendship? Both relying on each other?
No one being alone?
And even then, I knew that no words could describe what the two of us were feeling...
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Certainly, certainly we
Learn as we live
But then, then we
Forget as we live
If there are things with a beginning
One day, they will end
Going to the next part of living
And all of everything
If this world is, between the winners and losers
If it will split into two
Aa... I want to be the loser
Always, I want to be the loser
Certainly, certainly we
Are so beautiful, we are sad
As time passes and passes, we
Become so stained, we are sad
For what must be protected --
Again today, I sacrifice something
Those going to the next
All of everything
If this world is, between the winners and losers
If it will split into two
Aa... I want to be the loser
Always, I want to be the loser
What can I say to you?
Being such a small self
Because they cannot stand
Against unending time
I will say no more words
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Well... maybe there is one word...
You know... right before we found out that Sonic and everyone else would have to leave, I had an assignment for school. It was to write a paper on "what you want for the future." When I started it, I realized that I wanted to write, "I want to always be with Sonic." However, I didn't want to actually write that down, thinking it sounded childish.
But now I know what I want to write, and I don't feel any doubts at all about it.
"I want to see Sonic again."
I will... one day.
Until then, I have one word I can say. One word, that sums up all of my happiness, sadness... one word that reminds me that I'll never truly be alone, as long as I can remember his name...
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"Sonic...!"