I'm SO sorry for all the waiting... it's been like a month since I posted the last chapter and I know I promised you I was gonna update more often.... I can't promise you it won't happen again, but I'll try...
For those out there who are worried about it... this is a RnR fic written by me, so they are gonna end up together, and if they don't... I will kick myself, but don't worry, it won't happen...
Thank you for all your kind reviews, really... at first I thought now one was gonna read this fic and it looks like you've been enjoying it =D, thank you again for that....
Now with the story....
And remember, they do not belong to me
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Overcoming the loneliness – Ch 11 (5 years ago)----It had been two years since Rachel had moved to New York and she was leaving a fairy tale. She knew it. She felt it. Her father had called her 'princess' her entire life but she had never felt like one until now. She was living every girls' fantasy. She had met prince charming and was the apple of his eye.
For the past two years Ross had made her feel one day more special than the previews one, and she had to admit, sneaking around and dating Ross under her father's nose gave it a sense of danger that made the relationship even more exciting.
She had decided to keep her relationship with Ross hidden from her father, she knew it would cause some problems, fights and discussion about how "bad" guys were and how they only wanted one thing from girls, and that was exactly what she wanted to avoid. She felt she was old enough to make her own decision but she knew his father would never let her. Ross supported her, but didn't share her point of view. "He would have to deal with the fact that we are together" he had told her a couple of times, but the subject always ended up leading them into a fight and they weren't the fighting kind of couple, so they just left it at that… both knew it was something they had to be aware of but they were already use to it.
Putting her issues with her father aside, Rachel had found in New York a home, a family between her friends, a place where she fitted. She didn't feel alone anymore, how could she? With Ross by her side everything seemed so simple; he made everything simple for her.
That particular night as they cuddled in bed after making love she said:
"I think am happy?"
Ross looked at her tenderly and kissed her forehead. "I'm happy too sweety. I'm always happy after making love to you"
Rachel shook her had. "make love?" she giggled "you sound like a girl"
"Hey!" he said with a funny voice "don't make fun of me" he added as he started tickling her
"Stop! Stop! Stop!" she begged between laughs
"That's what you get for calling me a girl"
"Yeah I know better now". She kissed him sweetly on the lips.
She rested her head over his chest as she traced his muscles with her index finger. She always felt so safe when she was in his harms. They were her shelter from the world.
"As I was saying before you interrupted me with you girlish comment" she said looking up at him with a mischievous grin on her face. "I'm happy"
Ross contemplated her lovingly for a few seconds and kissed her tenderly on the lips.
She linked fingers with him and closed her eyes, feeling his touch, sensing his smell, hearing his heart.
"I could do this forever" he said
"Yeah… me too". She kissed his chest
"Have you ever wondered about our future?"
"What do you mean?" she asked standing up a bit too look at him straight in the eyes
"You know… future… what do you think it's going to happen with us?"
"I-I-I… don't… I don't know" she replied. She had wondered what future would be like with Ross a thousand times, but never even tried talked to him about it. She was afraid. She was always afraid. She had been let down so many times when she was a kid that she had decided not get her hopes high so easily again. She knew this was a dream come true and couldn't help being afraid of the day when dreaming ended.
"I have… lots of times actually" he confessed kind of shy
"Really? And what have you thought about?"
"Well…" he started as he kissed her hair. "I think we are going to move in together… get married after I graduate, and have kids after being married for a couple of years… whenever you are ready, of course… and then… you know… grow old together"
Rachel closed her eyes and smiled
"I like that future" she whispered into his neck "it sounds wonderful"
"I wanna built a family with you Rach… I'm never letting you go" he said "I'm afraid you are stuck with me for life"
Rachel let go a small laugh. That was exactly what she wanted.
"So… you want kids huh?" she asked
"Of course… I think I'd make a good father" he replied. "I could teach my kids a lot of interesting stuff"
"About dinosaurs?"
"Well…"
"Oh my God…. Our kids are going to be geeks, aren't they?" she teased
He blushed. He always did when she was the one calling him geek. Somehow it made him feel she was far too beautiful to be with a guy like him.
"I was only joking honey, of course you're gonna make an amazing father… somebody will have to fix up our kids after having me as a mother"
"What are you talking about Rach, you will be amazing!"
"Right!, just like my mother was an amazing mother" there was a sarcastic tone in Rachel's voice that Ross caught right away.
"You are not your mother Rach. Plus, I'm going to be with you all the time" he kissed her head. "What happened to your parents is not going to happen to us… we love each other too much" he assured her as he rubbed her side, finally placing his hand on her waist.
"I hope not… I don't want to mess my kids up like my mom and dad messed ME up… always scared… always afraid"
"You are not messed up honey… a bit crazy maybe" he said smiling. "but that's even cute"
Rachel smiled.
"I do want to have kids with you one day…. it's scary thinking about it though"
"Yeah I know" he kissed her again, this time on the forehead. "And also kind of exciting"
There was a small silence. Rachel sighed.
"I should get going" she said
"What? Now?"
"Yeah honey, it's getting really late and dad will be home around 4"
"Can't you tell him you stayed at Monica's?" he pleaded
Rachel sighed. For 26 months she had been in heaven, but every way to haven had a small stop in hell. In her case it was this kind of situation
"Ross, I used that one last night… I really have to go home today"
Ross looked away. "I'm tired of this Rachel" he said almost in a whisper
"What?" she asked kind of scared
Ross looked back at her and took her hands. "I'm tired of not being able to spend an entire night with you, scared your father would find out about us. I'm tired that you have to lie to him to be with me… why can't we be open about this. You just say it, you are happy… he will be happy if you are happy"
Rachel looked at their hands. She knew he was right. It had been two years and she had never felt more secure about her feelings for him. Probably he was right; probably it was time to come clean with her father.
"Ok… ok…" she said standing up "but I really have to go… if my dad sees me coming home this late nothing we can say to him will make it any easy"
"Ok" he said. "But you promise me you're gonna talk to him"
Rachel sighed again and remained silent for a few seconds
"I promise" she finally said.
Ross copped her face with his hands and kissed sweetly on the lips
"If you want me to do it with you…"
"No honey, this is something I have to do on my own"
"Ok, whenever you are ready… I'm not going anywhere"
Rachel smiled. She knew it was true. He wasn't going anywhere; he would always be in her heart standing right next to her.
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Leonard Green arrived home around 5 am that morning. For the last 3 weeks, and since he was in charge of the hospital ER, he had been working in the nights shift. He was tired. He looked tired. At his 52 years, staying up until very early in the morning wasn't doing him any good, but it was his job and he loved his job. At least he was able to spend the evenings with his daughter, unless she had classes or was at Monica's.
It amazed him how much time his daughter spent with her friends. Somehow it made him feel relieved and happy knowing she had someone like Monica to spend some time with and to rely on.
The only problem about Rachel hanging out with Monica was how close she had become with Ross. He didn't have a particular problem with the boy. He knew Rachel liked him, it was obvious. It was just the possibility of losing his little girl to another man the one that scared him. He knew it would happen eventually. Rachel had become a beautiful woman and so far he had never met any of her boyfriends. It was easier to think she hadn't had any, although he knew for sure that wasn't true.
Dr. Green walked through Rachel's room and opened the door. The bed was empty and undone; however the lights from her bathroom were on. He knocked on the door a little bit worried.
"Are you in there princess?" he asked.
There was a silence followed by the sound of somebody throwing up and then a small whine.
"I'm here" said Rachel through the door.
Dr. Green opened the door and found her leaning over the toilet, looking white as a ghost. He immediately placed his hand over her forehead to check if she had temperature and looked straight in her eyes.
"It's ok daddy" she said backing away. "It must be a flu or something I ate"
Leonard exanimated her for a few more minutes before accepting his daughter's opinion.
"Still, I want you to see somebody tomorrow" he said
"Daddy… it's nothing!" she protested
"It could be a virus or food poison… whichever is the case I want you to get checked by a doctor"
They stepped out of the bathroom and back to Rachel's room. She got into bed and Dr Green sited next to her caressing her head.
Rachel smiled. She felt like a kid again.
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"Yeah mom" said Monica on the phone. "No mom, I'm not getting one of those things" she listened. "I don't need a cell phone mom". She listened again. "I'd call you from a payphone". Monica looked around; she was so tired of her mother controlling her life, even when she was already living on her own. "Ross has the money mom, I don't…" she protested.
That moment, Rachel stormed into the apartment completely freaked out; there just wasn't another word for what she was going through.
"Mom, I'd have to call you back, can't talk to you right now, bye bye" she said quickly looking at the worried look on her friend's face. "What's the matter?" she asked still holding the phone in her hands. "Sweety, you look as pale as a paper, what happened?"
Rachel sat on the big couch in the living room and closed her eyes. She hugged a pillow that was lying next to her and sighed. She was so scared.
Monica sat right next to her and looked at her face, trying to figure out what was going through her friend's mind this time.
"Well?" asked again Monica
"I'm late" answered Rachel with her eyes closed. "I think…. I think I'm pregnant" she added as she opened her eyes. Monica noticed they were filled with tears. "And-and I CAN'T be pregnant!, my dad would kill me… he would kill Ross… I know that for sure"
"But… are you sure? Or are you just guessing cause you're late…" asked Monica, trying to sound as calm as she could, freaking out wouldn't help Rachel a bit
"I-I-I'm guessing…" said Rachel. "I've been pucking my guts out every morning for the past week… and to make it even worst my dad found me throwing up in the bathroom this morning and now wants me to see a doctor. Plus I should have gotten my period like 3 weeks ago and I've been feeling kind of dizzy lately… so it's just putting 2 and 2 together"
"But did you take a test?"
""Well… I took one… but I haven't looked at it… I'm too scared"
"OK, I'll see it… give me…"
Rachel opened her purse and took out a white box. Monica took the box from Rachel's hand and opened it, taking a white stick out of it. She looked at it closely and then looked at the back of the box
"So?" asked Rachel closing her eyes. The tension was becoming unbearable.
"It's-it's…" Monica spoke. "It's positive"
Rachel's face fell. She still held a tiny hope that her suspicious were wrong. This was such a big slap on her face, she felt so not ready to become a mom. And her dad… well… she didn't even want to think about it. She still had to tell him she was with Ross…
"I-I-I… I… I can't" muttered Rachel, standing up from the couch
"Rach… uhm… first of all… sit down, take a deep breath and try to calm down"
"Calm down?" asked Rachel completely out of her mind "How the HELL do you want me to calm down?!"
"Freaking out won't do you or the baby any good… you have a human being growing up inside you!!"
"EXACTLY!!" yelled Rachel as she passed around Monica's living room. "I am 20 years old, haven't finished college and I am pregnant!!... I don't have a job… and… and Ross is on his senior year, unemployed as well… yeah… I have NOTHING to freak out about…. Oh My God!!... and my dad doesn't even know we are together!!"
"He doesn't?" asked Monica completely lost. "But I thought you had told him… I mean… didn't you and Ross agree…"
"Yes, yes, yes we did… but I haven't found the courage to do it yet…" Rachel sighed "Ross is gonna be so mad". She was now crying. " I screw up all of our plans with this"
"Honey, come on… you've been over this thing with your father for months, I don't think he'll get mad now…"
Rachel shook her head and finally followed her friend's advice to sit down, looking and feeling completely lost
"I wasn't talking about that" she said. "I was talking about this" she added placing her hand over her belly. "He hasn't even graduated Mon"
Monica smiled tenderly at her friend. "You don't really think Ross will get mad at you for getting pregnant, do you?"
"I-I don't know" replied Rachel between snobs
"Rach, sweety, you, better than anyone, know Ross isn't one of 'those guys'. He loves you too much to let you do this on your own… he will be more than happy to know you're gonna make him a father"
Rachel smiled weakly. "He's gonna be such a wonderful father"
"See?... plus in a couple of months he will graduate, and if everything goes well with that interview he has today at the museum he will have a job… you'll be starting your family together, a little earlier than planned… but who cares?". Monica was now very excited. She knew Ross would be happy with the baby news, probably a little scared, but excited, specially knowing that it would be something he would do with Rachel
Rachel smiled again, this time as widely as she could, while her tears-filled eyes started to shine with happiness. Maybe this was the start of her family with Ross. She couldn't help smiling now. She wanted to run to him that very same moment to tell him
"Oh my God Mon!!... I hadn't… I hadn't thought about it that way… I mean… it's going to be hard but…" she couldn't help giggling as she pictures Ross changing diapers. "I need to tell him right now!"
"But he's not home hun… he had an early class today, remember?"
"You're right… damn it…" Rachel sat again, feeling full of energy, ready to face everything the future held for her.
"Do you have something to it? I'm starving" said Rachel
Monica smiled "So I assume you're gonna start eating for two?!"
"Of course… or do you want your little niece of nephew to come out all thin and sick?"
Monica's eyes were the ones watering now. "I'm gonna be an aunt!!" she said as she started crying. "We are gonna be really related…!!"
"I know!!" said Rachel. With each passing moment she discovered new reasons to have and love this baby growing inside her. Now she couldn't remember why she was so scared a couple of minutes ago. It just didn't make sense now.
Monica and Rachel sat for about an hour talking about names and planes for the baby. Rachel had already named her godmother and the one in charge of throwing her a shower in a couple of months.
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"Mon, I'm so worried" said Rachel to her friend as they entered to the hospital.
"Why?"
"What if there's something wrong with the baby? Or what if I'm not pregnant?"
Monica smiled. Rachel had certainly changed her mind about the baby quickly. "Relax hun. If you are not pregnant… well, that would save you a couple of problems. Plus you can always start trying" she said with a wink. "I bet that will be fun"
Both girls giggled as they approached to the counter where a thin little woman with dark hair and brown eyes was talking on the phone.
"Wait a minute" she said to the telephone. "May I help you?"
"Yeah" said Rachel. "I have an appointment with Dr. Weasly at 3"
"What's your name miss?"
"Rachel Green"
"Right, Dr. Green's daughter. Dr. Weasly will see you as soon as he's done with the patient he's seeing now. You can sit there while you wait"
"Thank you very much" said Rachel as she and Monica walked to sit on the chairs in the waiting area.
"Still nervous?" asked Monica
"Yeah, I don't like doctors" answered Rachel. "Plus I've been having this really weird bad feeling all the way here that I can't get rid of"
"Come on sweety, it's nothing"
"I know, but still… this is maybe the first time I'm gonna look at my baby, I wish Ross was here"
"Miss Green?" asked a very handsome red haired man from one of the doors near the chairs where Rachel and Monica were sited.
Rachel stood up and smiled at Monica, who was left alone in the waiting area. She also had a weird gut feeling that increased by Rachel's smile as she walked into the Dr's office. She also wished Ross was there.
"So… your father told me you'd been feeling sick lately" asked Dr. Weasly with a smile. He couldn't be older than 30, Rachel thought.
"Yeah" she simply answered. "I think I may be pregnant" she confessed.
"You do?... well, that'd explain the throwing up, huh?" he said in a friendly way that made Rachel feel comfortable. "I bet you want to take a look at that baby"
Rachel nodded.
Rachel and Dr. Weasly left the office from a back door and entered to a white hallway that looked more like a secret entrance. Rachel smiled again, she was about to see her baby. She wished Ross was there holding her hand, kissing her forehead like he normally did when she was nervous, and telling her everything was going to be ok. She needed him so badly.
"Ok Rachel, you can take your clothe off, put on this robe and we'll take a look at this baby you say you're having" Dr Weasly said smiling before leaving the room.
After changing into the robe, Rachel sat on the examining table with her legs in the stirrups feeling incredibly comfortable, but still a bit scared. She wanted to go home, the last thing she needed was running into her father, especially in a situation like this.
She saw how Dr. Weasly entered the room with the same warm smile he had before. He looked completely different to Ross, but somehow the kindness of his smile reminded her of him and made her feel secure.
He sat on a chair next to her and started looking at the screen in front of him.
"Well Rachel, it looks like you are gonna be a mom" he said cheerfully. "Congratulations"
Rachel's eyes watered. She was indeed pregnant. Her eyes wondered all around the screen, trying to catch a glimpse of what could look like a baby.
"See that little thing there?" he pointed a small white dot that looked like a peanut. Rachel nodded. "That's your baby. Your about 4 or 5 weeks pregnant I'd say" he added. "I'm gonna give you some time alone, you can change if you want"
Rachel was left alone in the room once again. She contemplated the screen for a few minutes feeling a bit different. She placed both of her hands on her stomach, trying to feel the new life growing inside other.
"We are gonna love you so much" she whispered.
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"So Ronald, what was it?" Rachel heard a familiar voice asking at the other side of the door. She had been changing into her clothes when she heard Dr Weasly and another person walking into the office
"You're gonna be a grandpa' Leonard" she heard Dr Weasly answering in the same cheerful tone he had talked to her.
She paled.
"What?" asked Dr. Green, as Rachel opened the door and looked at her father scared. That wasn't the way she wanted her father to find out. 'Damn Dr Weasly' she thought. But the damage was already done and she had to face the consequences. She only wished Ross was there.
"Ronald, can you leave us alone? I need to have a word with my daughter!" he said very serious, giving Rachel the coldest stare she had ever seen.
Dr. Weasly looked from Rachel to Dr. Green understanding quickly what was going on. He nodded and hurried himself out of the office.
Rachel sat on the chair next to the desk feeling tense. Probably more than any other time she could remember.
Dr. Green started passing around the room, deep in thoughts, with his eyes fixed on the floor.
"You're pregnant!?" asked Leonard Green, lifting his head to look at his daughter in the eyes, making it sound more like an accusation than a question.
Rachel nodded, not able to articulate a word. The fright she had felt that morning when she arrived to Monica's apartment came rushing back.
"Who's the father?" he asked this time, still with the same harsh tone
"R-Ross" she replied softly and in a barely audible voice.
Leonard let go a sarcastic laugh. "Of course" he said "Didn't I warn you about him?" still in the same inquisitor tone
"Dad… it's not like tha-"
"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT HUH?" he cut her out. "So you're gonna tell me you're still a virgin?"
"Dad!" Rachel cried. "This wasn't a one time thing!, we've been together for 3 years" she yelled
Dr Green stopped passing around and kept his eyes fixed on her. His eyes filled with hatred.
"And if you hadn't been so DAMN selfish you would have known!!" she added. "He's a good guy daddy, he loves me so much, and I love him too. If you took some time to get to know him…"
"I'M NOT INTERESTED IN KNOWING THE GUY WHO JUST RUINED MY DAUGHTER'S LIFE!!" Dr Green was the one yelling now.
"He didn't ruin my life, he changed it…!!"
"YOU ARE NOT HAVING THIS BABY!!". Leonard Green supported his body with his both hands on the desk. An uncomfortable heat was bashing him, and suddenly breathing became as difficult and painful as not breathing at all. He unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt and loosed his tie.
"I'M NOT GETTING RID OF IT!!" yelled Rachel standing up, unaware of what her father was going through. "This is my family!!"
"YOU ARE 20 YEARS OLD RACHEL FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!! What kind of family can you form when you're 20 years old!!" he yelled back
"You married mom when you were 20!"
"Because I had to, not because I wanted to!!, and look what happened to us!!"
"I'm not my mother and Ross is not you!!, we love each other. I'm having this baby and I don't care what you have to say about it!!" she screamed so loud she was sure the whole building had heard her.
A tearing pain crossed Leonard's chest as he fell to the floor gasping for air.
Rachel saw her father vanishing behind the desk. She run to him and held his hand, her vision blurred by the tears.
"Help!!" she screamed with all the strength she had left. "HELP!!"
A group of nurses and doctors came bursting into the room. Rachel heard them whispering about a heart attack but couldn't see what they were doing, in a matter of seconds they were putting him on a stretcher and taking him to some other place Rachel knew nothing about. She was numb. Unable to react. Petrified. Scared.
"… you better go to the waiting area, you can't stay here. I'll let you know if something change"
Rachel saw Dr. Weasly standing in front of her talking, but she couldn't understand or even hear a word he said.
"Huh?" she was completely lost
"You better go to the waiting area" he repeated. "I'll keep you inform"
Rachel nodded. "Right" she said with a distant look
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Everything had happened so fast. One minute she was yelling at her father things she had only to say to him in her mind, and the next he was fighting for his life. "You're not having this baby" – "What kind of family can you form when you are 20?" his father's last words repeated over and over and over again in her head.
Everything was her fault. She knew it. She felt it. She should have listened to Ross all the times he told her she needed to talk to her father or it would make everything worst. She always had to take the wrong decisions, learn in the hard way when she was mistaken. Well, this time it had gone a little too far, her father's life was on the edge; and all because of her immaturity and fright against life. Now she was more scared than ever.
"I talked to Chandler" said Monica sitting next to Rachel.
Rachel hadn't move or talked since a nurse brought her there. She hadn't even explained to Monica what had happened. She was too scared to even speak. Dr Weasly, who had been in the room one hour ago to inform Rachel they were performing a heart surgery on her father because one of the arteries was completely blocked and his heart wasn't getting enough blood, explained to Monica the events that had taken place a few minutes after. She immediately run to a pay phone to get a hold on her brother, tell him what was going on and telling him Rachel needed him now more than ever. Unfortunately, he had his cell phone off.
"Chandler said he's meeting Ross at Central Perk in ten minutes. As soon as he gets there they'll be on their way here" Monica explained
Rachel's expression didn't change
Dr. Weasly came into the room once again. His warm smile was gone and he looked like in one hour he had aged 10 years. He looked exhausted. Defeated. Destroyed.
Rachel stood up and so did Monica. Both approached to the doctor, who was looking at them ashamed, almost afraid.
"I'm sorry Rachel" was all she could hear. She knew he had said something else, but the minute those words slipped the doctor's lips the pain was too strong to hear anything else. It run through all her body like a million knifes cutting her skin from the inside.
It burned. It hurt. It blinded. It killed.
She saw blood.
Then everything went black.
TO BE CONTINUE....
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Sorry to leave you there guys.... but if I didn't stop you would have had to wait even longer for this chapter and that wasn't the idea.... please remember to leave me a review, your words mean a lot to me ;)