(I duck the flying tomatoes.)
The Founders idea is cliché, I know...! But nobody will ever speak (using voices) with the Founders. That I can promise you. The only way the Founders can correspond with the outside world is through writing. I…don't think Artemis will ever see the Founders' faces. He won't even be able to see their memories.
Happy New Year.
chapter seven: poor old mrs. norris
Two months had passed since Theo had first introduced Artemis and Blaise to the tent. Artemis had yet to finish reading all the books, but was intrigued by what he had found so far. His particular favourites were the Bat-Bogey Hex (something Artemis turned out to excel at), Elereous, Sweet Dreams Curse and Ebonovemer Spell ("Remove the Bones of Your Choice!"). Any spell that involved sound and wind worked well with him too.
Artemis wasn't particularly sadistic, so he rarely used the Darker curses. He had no intention of becoming another Dark Lord – they seemed to come and go easier than Artemis would have liked. He learned fast, and had soon reached an impressive level as far as Transfiguration was concerned. He mostly stuck to experimenting with alchemy and illusions, apart from regular Dark curses. Theo and Blaise chose to specialize in potions and defenses – most probably because they obviously wouldn't be learning anything from Lockhart any time soon.
Originally, they'd come up late at night or during sunset to practise, but that quickly proved a problem, as some healing spells and potions worked only during the day, for some reason. Artemis didn't see how they could still perform the said spells, as there weren't any windows from which to tell day from night, but the point was moot. The spells just didn't work at night.
It was Blaise who found the solution to daytime spells. While poring over a particularly thick tome, she discovered a guide to variations of cloning. Artemis, when he read it, chanced upon a particularly nasty version in which the caster or victim was split into two identical copies – one evil, the other good, and one weaker than the other depending on the person. It was more of a split than a cloning, but a bit of both. He decided to leave the book to Blaise.
The one they decided to use in the end was simply creating a hologram copy with a force field under it to fit the hologram. (It was Version II, which gained any wounds that the creator could attain, and even sickness.) This meant a huge problem for Theo, as no cloning spell worked on him. Split, clone, you name it – Theo's bipolarity meant that Dark Theo would always be in the copy.
"I'll just leave Dark me with you guys," Theo had said firmly. "Nobody downstairs can really handle him. Besides, I'll get my memories of the time up here back when I fuse back together with Dark."
Plunky served them well, so they didn't suffer from lack of food – Blaise often joked that Plunky could be a school elf, for his food was excellent. Artemis was kept in a good mood, due to some caviar every day.
Artemis had also been trying to become an Animagus. The spells were complicated, but manageable for Artemis's intellect. The first time he attempted it, he ended up with gold-orange fur all over his face. It would have been a good try, had the fur not stuck to Artemis's face for four days. The Animagi rituals seemed to be more of a test through which the Animagus-to-be could prove himself. If you're smart enough to know and do it, you are allowed to. And there was no doubt in Artemis's mind that he was smart enough.
For Halloween, however, Artemis decided to attend the dinner. From what Theo had told him, the Halloween fare was delicious. Artemis's copy had written him about his not attending the feast, and so Artemis figured it was safe to go. Dark Theo declined, saying that he would rather spend the night studying to be an Animagus. Although Artemis suspected that it was an excuse to spend time with Blaise, he didn't object, and left the tent in the afternoon.
As luck would have it, he bumped into Lockhart a few feet away from the Defense classroom door. The blonde stared at him bewilderedly.
"Aren't you supposed to be in my class right now, Mr. Fowl? I specifically stated that no one was to leave until I got back."
"But I am in your class right now," Artemis stated innocently. Then he left, before Lockhart could work out what he'd said.
"There you are!"
The copy turned to his left and blinked at the odd sensation that enveloped him.
He felt…'strange' was one way of putting it. Like he had somehow been detached from his body and was staring down at it from above. It was also a bit like he had suddenly been turned into an elastic band, and was at the end of its maximum stretch before it snapped.
SNAP.
Artemis Fowl blinked. He was himself again. As he processed the memories of his copy, which had returned to him when they fused back together, he stood up and brushed himself off. Moving further up the shadowy corridor, he stopped.
There was a cat hanging from the wall. Right above his head, no less. And not just any cat, either. It was Mrs. Norris, the caretaker's cat. Said cat had been either killed or Petrified. Or perhaps the Transmorgrifian Torture? Many wizards doubted its existence, but judging from the pictures in Artemis's books, it was rather painful and disgusting. No…perhaps not. The Torture was usually only known by Dark wizards twice Artemis's age, and the cat didn't seem transmogrified in any way. Besides, there was a pulse, when Artemis checked.
But that wasn't Artemis's problem. Directly beside the words 'THE CHAMBER HAS BEEN OPENED. ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE.'
The Chamber…the Chamber of Secrets. Whoever the Heir was, he looked like he/she was out to kill Muggle-born witches and wizards, like the legend. But then, maybe it was a sophomoric prank. However, there was just no denying it, the red looked a bit too much like blood for his liking.
But he was Slytherin…the monster in the Chamber wouldn't harm him…would it?
Artemis lowered his gaze from the stiff cat and blood-red wording, and took an involuntary step back as he saw the Three Gryffindor Musketeers staring back at him. He took in his surroundings. Water, water, stiff cat, water, Musketeers and more water. A plumbing leak perhaps.
As the Fabulous Trio fell under Artemis's scrutiny, they fidgeted a bit and muttered something like 'deathday party'. Artemis promptly decided that they couldn't have been the culprits. Everything about them screamed 'self-righteous, sanctimonious, overly-inquisitive, and foolhardy, brave yes, but foolhardy'. Petrifying took a great deal of Dark knowledge. All possible Dark suspects were either down in the Great Hall or up in a tent on the roof. Anyway, every student but Theo, Blaise, the Dream Team, Ginny and Artemis's copy had been in the Hall where they would've been seen.
That narrowed the suspect list down to only one: Ginevra Weasley. But how --
Artemis snapped out of his daze as students poured in from different directions. He groaned as he realized what this looked like. Artemis Fowl, renowned criminal, standing beneath a Petrified cat. Oh dear. Never mind that the Golden Trio was there, he was a Slytherin and would be the most likely culprit.
Malfoy pushed and shoved his way to the front of the crowd, tailed by Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkinson. He smiled evilly at them. "Enemies of the Heir, beware!" His gaze focused on Hermione and Artemis. "You'll be next, Mudbloods!"
"MY CAT!"
"Lumos Maximus!" The light was held up by Albus Dumbledore, and it was blinding – Artemis had to shield his eyes.
It was a slip of the tongue and Artemis still didn't really know why he did it, but everyone, including him, was bound to slip up once in a while. Even evil geniuses. Right?
Anyway, as Filch approached, with the entire teaching faculty in his wake (who had apparently been de-hexed), Artemis fully realized all the possible implications of his position beneath a Petrified cat, and let out the Gnommish curse, "D'Arvit!"
The Trio turned to him faster than a squirrel on coffee. "What?"
"Ah…nothing," Artemis replied quickly. "Nothing."
They looked suspicious, but that was the least of Artemis's worries as Filch walked right up to him and began shaking him hard, all the while wheezing accusations in between shuddering sobs. It took both Snape and Dumbledore to pry him off a thoroughly frazzled Artemis. Finally, the Headmaster turned to his prized pet, Potter, and asked, "What happened?"
"My office is nearest, Headmaster, just upstairs – please feel free –"
"Thank you, Gilderoy." Dumbledore moved past Artemis, still holding his wand up. It illuminated the forked passages that Artemis was standing at the crossroads of. Satisfied that there was nothing there, he, to Artemis's relief, put the light out.
Once up in the revolting office, flamboyantly decorated with pictures of its owner, the Trio told their tale, and Ron put in his two cents' worth about how 'I think it was Fowl, sir, we went a bit closer and we saw him standing there, right beneath poor old Mrs. Norris'. (Lockhart's babble and unhelpful comments were ignored by all save the portraits, who nodded along in agreement.)
Poor old Mrs. Norris? Artemis detected the lie in Ronald's words instantly, and so did Snape.
"Perhaps they are not being entirely truthful," Snape said, eyes glittering. "Fowl may have been up there, yes. But books clearly state that spells like these requires immensely complex spells that are far past even Mr. Fowl's level. Besides, unlike them, he was at the feast, unlike the precious Golden Trio. Leaving two minutes early does not necessarily make someone a culprit."
"Yeah, but he's a Muggle criminal, Professor!"
"Professor Dumbledore lit his wand and scanned the perimeter of the crime scene." Artemis's voice was cold. "I believe that he did not find anything incriminating, or you would be watching in barely concealed glee as a professor snapped my wandand expelled me. Really, Ronald. I thought you were smarter than that. Besides, the gaping goldfish look really doesn't suit you."
Ron's mouth shut immediately.
"Professor Dumbledore, sir?"
Dumbledore looked up from where he was prodding the Petrified cat. "Yes?"
"I'm feeling tired and I'd like to return to my dormitories. Would you mind?"
"YES, I MIND!" Filch snarled, wiping a tear. "You killed my cat!"
"Argus! Firstly, she is not dead, and secondly," the Headmaster paused. "Innocent until proven guilty. You may go, Mr. Fowl."
Artemis nodded and left, leaving the trio and Professors to talk about him behind his back, as they were bound to be doing. Knowing how fast gossip spreads, it will be all over the school by morning, his cynical side said.
Artemis shuddered. Go to the happy place, his (very feeble) bright side ordered, kicking his cynical side.
"I am not skilled in small talk or pleasantries, so I'll speak frankly here."
"What happened?"
"I noticed that four people were missing from the Halloween feast – one of them being the famous Boy-Who-Lived. As I returned to my dormitory, I found three of the four in a corridor. Emblazoned on the wall, in blood-red paint, were the words 'The Chamber has been opened. Enemies of the Heir, beware.'"
Silence. Then Theo spoke up. "Who were the missing?"
"I'm coming to that."
"What's the Chamber of Secrets, anyway?"
"The Chamber of Secrets is a place believed to have been built by Salazar Slytherin, a school founder. It is a place only his true Heir can enter, and contains a monster. According to Hogwarts, A History, Slytherin disliked the idea of Muggle-borns (like myself) and half-bloods being taught magic. In short, he had a falling-out with the other founders over this, and left the school. It was told that his Heir would one day return to the school and, using the monster, purge the school of all undeserving to learn magic. The students believe that this is the case."
"Don't get Arty started on this. It's like talking to a History book," Blaise joked, albeit slightly uneasily.
"Don't call me Arty, Blaise."
"Seriously, though," Theo said, "be careful. There's no saying they'll leave you alone because you're Slytherin. To them, you're just as Muggle-born as anyone. So…CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" he suddenly roared, making Blaise jump.
"Hey! Don't do that, idiot!"
"My brother's boss says that all the time," Theo shrugged.
"Who's your brother, anyway?" Artemis asked.
"Oh, you're talking about Toby? Tobias just passed his Auror tests. They had a fit when they saw the mark on his arm."
"The Dark Mark?" Blaise said sharply.
"No, no. The Disownment Mark – pretty self explanatory I guess, huh?" Theo rolled up his sleeve. It was the letter N, around which burned silver flames. "It still hurts sometimes."
"Only when it comes into contact with anything metal, yes? Teenage angst is getting to you, Theo. I told you not to go on that Muggle (Artemis had been furious when he found Theo using his computer), or whatever it was called. It's made you worse." Blaise stretched out on a couch and eyed them beadily.
"What are Aurors?" Artemis pressed. As we know, Artemis hated not knowing anything.
"Dark wizard catchers," Theo replied. "But Tobias says that at least a quarter of the Aurors know dark magic, so as long as we don't hurt innocents, we're fine."
"Right," Blaise didn't seem reassured. "Hey, are we going to the Quidditch match tomorrow? Got your green-'n'-silver scarves? Excellent, gentlemen. Want to bet on the match? No? Well, it doesn't matter. We all know Gryffindor's going to win, but let's go anyway."
"And just so you know," a new voice interrupted. It was Blaise's copy. "We investigated the crime scene and found an abundance of spiders, water, and scorch marks that led to a broken-down girls' bathroom. A girl ghost lives in there. Very depressing, she is."
Artemis decided that it was time to play Sherlock and do some investigation of his own later.
"Slytherin's leading, thirty to none, and Flint drops the Quaffle. Dolt. Anyway, Bell of Gryffindor steals it, and she's flying like an eagle towards the Slytherin posts. And our Chasers pull off a truly excellent Parkinson's Pincer! GO SLYTHERIN! And it's Flint with the Quaffle again – NO, YOU CRETIN, NOT THAT WAY! And he flies head on into a Bludger. Great. He is such a genius. Don't use a broom you can't manage. Talking about the other Bludger, it's still stalking Potter, and unless I am much mistaken, it is attempting to sexually assault him – well, Potter got out of the way, he wouldn't have wanted the Bludger to hit THAT place."
Blaise was evidently a huge Quidditch fan, and her loud commentary was just as bad as Lee Jordan's, if not worse. Theo was waving a green and silver flag, and Artemis was watching Potter and the Bludger with his portable (and fairly small) top-of-the-line binoculars, which worked better than Omnioculars when fitted with more magical controls. Everyone was using umbrellas to shield them from the rain.
Sadly, Malfoy was out of hearing range, but this proved to be a good thing.
All of a sudden, Potter screeched to a halt in mid-air after doing an extremely stupid twirl in mid-air. He was staring at something – Malfoy, as Artemis found out – but then Artemis spotted the Bludger whistling through the air –
CRACK.
– and it connected squarely with Potter's arm.
Potter flew slightly forward on his broom, but kept his balance. Artemis observed Malfoy, who was laughing his head off. Metaphorically, of course, but if had been literally, Malfoy might have noticed the Snitch above his ear as his head fell.
"DRACO MALFOY, IDIOT!" Blaise was screaming, but he couldn't hear her through the rain. "IT'S ABOVE YOUR HEAD, MORON!"
OK, apparently Blaise was the huge Quidditch fan.
Something whizzed past Malfoy's head and he turned to look at what it was – and finally saw the Snitch. He made a lunge for it as Potter grabbed it, sending both Seekers tumbling to the ground. Potter landed on his back, while Malfoy landed on top of him, leaving them in a seriously compromising position. The blonde got up fast, evidently disgusted.
Artemis and company were one of the first on the scene. Potter was lying on the ground, moaning like some hurt animal. Artemis rolled his eyes. If Potter thought a broken arm was serious, he should disguise himself as a troll and go take on Butler.
"Potter," Artemis said sharply. "Get up."
"Can't you see he's hurt?" Weasley said angrily. Ginny was hovering by his side, her face pale as a ghost. Hermione Granger was fussing over Potter like nobody's business.
"It's quite obvious, Weasley, and I am telling him to get up so he can go to the Hospital Wing, get that bone fixed and stop his incessant whining," Artemis retorted.
"You arrogant little bas –"
(All this while, Colin Creevey was clicking away on his camera like they were yelling: Roll up to watch the incredible freak show! Boy-Who-Lived has a broken arm!)
Lockhart suddenly arrived on the scene, at which point Artemis started pondering if he could be punished for a wandless Hydro Hex (which involved covering the victim in the dirtiest sort of water imaginable – complete with rubbish, filth and seaweed).
Potter suddenly opened his eyes and saw the dazzling green that was Lockhart.
"Oh, no, not you," he moaned.
"Good to see your sanity wasn't affected, Potter," Artemis muttered to him. Potter grinned weakly – a very odd, strained grin.
"Doesn't know what he's saying," Lockhart said loudly.
Artemis glared at him. "Professor," he said, sarcasm oozing out of his voice, "I haven't completed my medical studies, but I assure you that Potter is perfectly sane and should go up to the Hospital Wing. You are the Defense teacher, but I doubt you can heal."
Lockhart paid him no attention.
"Stand back!"
Artemis heard the incantation and realized that Lockhart had mixed the Bone-Healing Incantation up with the Ebonovemer Spell – a spell that was as difficult to perform as it was to pronounce. Theo and Blaise had realized it, too.
"DON'T!" Theo yelled.
But it was too late.
Potter's boneless fate made even the emotionless Artemis Fowl feel slightly sorry for him.
Artemis moved over to Malfoy's empty bed. Taking out his wand, he undid all the locking charms and spells cast on the boy's trunk. Lifting the lid, he quickly found the Invisibility Cloak he'd been looking for. Perfect. He extracted it from underneath its heavy Potions book and donned it fast – he was just about to drape it over his head when he was interrupted.
A voice spoke, chillingly close. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."
Artemis turned. Draco Malfoy stood, smirking at him, not two feet away.
"You're a pretty good thief. But sadly, I caught you .It's surprisingly handy to have your bed near the door, you know."
"Really." Artemis's voice was icy.
Malfoy laughed. "Where are you going at this time of night?"
"Last I checked, Malfoy, it was none of your business."
"Yes…I'm sure Dumbledore, as much as I hate the man, will be delighted to know that the prime suspect of opening the Chamber was caught stealing. I think he'll be interested in the expulsion of a bipolar thief, too. Yes, I saw him stealing the Cloak, in case you were wondering."
Artemis was furious with himself. He should be the one doing the blackmail!
"You installed magic Irises, didn't you?"
Malfoy nodded idly. "Oh, yes. Those contraptions are very useful. Quite popular, too, from what I've heard."
Artemis gritted his teeth to keep in his anger. "Very well. Get under the Cloak."
"Tell me where you're going first."
"Investigation. I, for one, would like to know at what time the Chamber was last opened, and if anyone was expelled during that time. Not to mention the fact that I want to find out why the spiders are all fleeing the castle."
Malfoy smirked. "Great. What are we waiting for?" With that quip, he slipped under the silvery silk of the Cloak and the unlikely pair exited the dorms and common room.
As the duo made their way up the stairs, they found an oddly prone, stiff form on the stairs. It was clutching a camera. Malfoy frowned.
"What…?"
Artemis moved a bit closer. The student was wearing Gryffindor robes, and his face was covered from view by a large camera. "Colin Creevey, Petrified. Well, what do you know? Judging from the grapes next to him, he was planning to pay a little visit to his hero."
Malfoy sighed. "I know I'm famous, yes, but he really didn't have to go to such lengths. Now he's Petrified."
Artemis looked at the blonde. "Maybe all the dumb blonde stereotypes are true, Malfoy. I was talking about Harry Potter."
Malfoy cringed. "I knew that," he sneered.
Artemis stared at something coming down the stairs and suspected he knew who it was. "Hide!" he hissed to Malfoy. "Dumbledore's coming!"
The other boy rolled his eyes. "We're doomed."
"Quit the melodramatics. Let's leave."
"And where, pray tell, do we go?"
"Library," Artemis yanked the blonde idiot inside, the door shutting the second Dumbledore nearly tripped over Creevey.
"Filthy Mudblood! You didn't have to drag me all the way out here!"
"I seem to recall that it was you who asked to be brought along in the first place, Malfoy. And now is not the time to discuss pureblood ideals."
"Gryffindork-loving Mudblood," Malfoy kept muttering all the way to the Restricted Section.
"Gryffindork? How very original of you, Malfoy."
"Why do we have to search in the Restricted Section, anyway?"
"I did my research earlier in the daytime and found nothing. All History books concerning Hogwarts have been taken out. Now please shut up before I have to resort to modifying your memory."
"You don't have the backbone to do something like that, Mudblood."
"Try me."
Finally, Malfoy shut up. Artemis unlocked the door to the Restricted Section and slipped in, followed by Malfoy. Looking closer, Artemis realized that the blonde looked almost scared.
"Oh, don't tell me the Slytherin Prince is afraid of the dark."
Ignoring Malfoy's sputtering, Artemis went over to the section on History, passing Genealogy on the way. Removing a thick volume, he tossed it to Malfoy, who caught it.
"Since you're so obsessed with pureblood ideals, that should keep you occupied while I research."
"How am I supposed to read it here anyway?"
"You're a wizard. Use your imagination. Lumos!" Artemis muttered. The narrow beam of light illuminated the dusty tomes in front of him. Scanning the titles, he sighed. There was nothing on Hogwarts records. He'd have to check the tent later. The Founders' Diaries: The Records of Hogwarts Since Its Founding was all there was concerning Hogwarts. It seemed the sixth-years were curious about the Chamber too. Extracting the book, he laid it on a table and opened it.
"Anything in there?" Malfoy asked, coming a bit closer, his curiosity overcoming his dislike for Artemis.
"Nothing," Artemis said softly. "It's blank." Something struck him suddenly. "Do you have a quill and ink, Malfoy?"
The blonde fished about in all his robe pockets. Finally, he took some out. "These are my spares. The dummies I hang around with always forget theirs. Looks like it applies to you, too."
Artemis took the quill and dipped it in the emerald ink. He hesitated, and then drew a quick sketch of the Hogwarts crest on the page. Not very good, but he didn't have the time.
The ink sank in to the parchment. Finally, some elegant, flowing script resurfaced. "You are a very talented artist, Mr. …?"
Malfoy snatched the quill from Artemis. "Malfoy," the blonde scribbled.
Artemis took the quill back, glaring, just as a few more words appeared on the page. It was a bold script, written in thick, calligraphy-like quill-strokes.
"Really," the writing said. "Malfoy, as in Lucius Malfoy?"
"Yes," Malfoy wrote back, snatching the quill again.
Different writing this time. Thin, wandering words, but still completely legible. "I seem to recall that he couldn't draw to save his life. He took out the book and used it for a drawing pad. Awful scribbles."
The bold script was back. "So we – er, complimented him on it."
"Complimented?!" The elegant cursive the boys had first seen was back. "You insulted him to no end! He threw the book at the wall!"
Artemis raised an eyebrow and started some writing. "As entertaining as all this is to watch, I would like to know your names, and whether you are the four founders of Hogwarts as the book title states."
Malfoy snorted. "Hey, genius, why wouldn't it be the founders?"
The bold calligraphy-style writing was back. "Salazar Slytherin."
"Excellent," Artemis said, relieved at finding something.
The flowing cursive read, "Helga Hufflepuff." The thin wandering words stated, "Rowena Ravenclaw." Finally, some thick, capital letters read, "Godric Gryffindor."
"Airhead," Slytherin wrote.
"Being born on Valentine's Day does NOT make me an airhead, Salazar!" Gryffindor wrote furiously.
"You're really showing it --"
"Stop all this squabbling!" Hufflepuff said (or wrote, in this case). "Honestly, I'd think that after a thousand years, the two of you would grow up a bit! Sorry to whoever's writing. Now apologize, both of you!"
"Sorry," both Gryffindor and Slytherin said, in what Artemis imagined to be a contrite tone.
"Anyway," Hufflepuff wrote. "Since there are two different styles of writing appearing, what are your names?"
"Draco Malfoy," Malfoy scribbled.
"Artemis Fowl the Second," Artemis wrote. "We're both second year Slytherins."
"YES!" Slytherin was back. Then there was a pause. "I know Malfoy's a pureblood name, but how did a Muggle-born get in?"
"Simple," Artemis wrote, irritated. "I am a criminal and the Sorting Hat took the liberty of sorting me into Slytherin."
"Good lord," Slytherin replied. "I never imagined that I'd go along with Gryffindor's ridiculous Sorting Hat idea."
"Ignore them," Ravenclaw interrupted. "They're great friends, but they argue a lot."
"Gryffindor and Slytherin? Great friends?" Artemis wrote skeptically. "In our time, Gryffindor and Slytherin are always at loggerheads. The Heir of Slytherin is back and out to kill me and all other Muggle-born students, the Gryffindors despise the Slytherins, and our Head of House plays favourites with us."
"Not that we don't enjoy it," Malfoy added hastily, elbowing Artemis in the ribs. "He's a nice guy."
Silence on the Founders' parts.
"I think you offended them, Fowl," Malfoy muttered in a low voice.
"We offended them," Artemis corrected. "Leave it here, or will you be taking it with you?"
"No chance, Mudblood. There are night alarms all over the entrance – connected to the books, I think, so nobody heard us coming."
Suddenly, they heard the caretaker's voice echoing from aisles A and B.
"Are you still willing to take that chance?"
"…No," Malfoy admitted.
"Good," Artemis shrunk the Genealogy book and the Diaries before shoving them in his robe pocket. "Let's get out of here."
Um, you can flame me if you like…I know the Elements idea is really old now. It's totally cliché, correct? But in those stories, people control the elements like they have complete control over it. I figured nobody can ever really control the entire element. Only bits and pieces here and there…Rest assured Artemis will NOT ever be a Marty-Stu, I hate them to the core.
Arty's weaknesses:
Sucks at Herbology. Can't fly for nuts. Bluffs his way through divination. Uses a Quick-Quotes Quill for History lessons. Cannot seem to socialize with anyone outside his three-person social circle. Atrocious at Care of Magical Creatures. Can burn water if set to cooking. Excellent at all kinds of theory but really pathetic at carrying them out (eg. he is good at physics but can't drive a car to save his life). Terrible singing voice. Dust-mite allergy. Fascinated with dragons, but terrified of them in person. Breaks almost every rule he learns about. Has no tolerance for less intelligent life forms (with the exception of Holly Short, Root, his friends – ALLIES, sorry – Butler, his family, and he barely puts up with Juliet.)
Hmm…they're not really weaknesses, are they?
Clutchy—Oh, yeah, you said Malfoy was evil. My mistake. My update is quite soon, no? (Tosses reviewer a cookie of her choice.)
Black Aliss—Arty is probably going to snap one day and hit someone. OK. It would be seriously OOC, but look at what Hermione did with Malfoy. She has a high tolerance level, but after three years she hit him. She has about thrice Arty's tolerance level…hmm…I have an idea…(evil cackle). Oh, here's a cookie. (Tosses reviewer a cookie of her choice.)
MuggleBuddy—I usually wake up at noon during the holidays. No big deal. (Tosses reviewer a cookie of her choice.)
Kiharu-sama—Thanks. Happy New Year to you, too! (Tosses reviewer a cookie of her choice.)
Maybe if I accepted flames my review number would increase tenfold?
--Happy New Yearr!!