Terra had been giving some armor to cover her skin, thus preventing any more injuries from happening. She was a bit paranoid about the entire episode, remembering bad times and distant accusations. It had gone on under her clothing; one piece ran from the the top of her shirt to the bottom of her torso, covering her arms, as well; The second covering her legs. She tried futily to calm herself down; she practically jumped into the arms of Beast Boy once she saw him. She was afraid. Fear was her most frequent emotion these past few days. After some comforting from Beast Boy, she went with them. Downtown was a mess; buildings had crumbled into the street, and fires had broken out. This reminded Terra of the destruction she herself has caused, back when she was a puppet. She still was one, though, except now a puppet with a new puppeteer. Terra shivered. Something about this just didn't seem right.
"Titans, fan out. He's got to be around here somewhere." Robin ordered. Everyone went off in different directions, and Terra found herself left alone, in the middle of a desolate, rubble-littered road. She sighed, clenched her fists, and started walking. Her mind flashed back to previous experiences. Images of Slade clouded her mind. She shut her eyes tight, head turned towards the ground. These were painful memories, and she wanted to forget them. She wanted to deny that Slade had ever existed. How could she, though, when she was one of six looking for him? She began to contemplate that he knew where she was, and was just waiting, biding time, until he got his opportunity, his one clear chance to destroy her. Knowing that there were five other targets in the area somehow made her feel less edgy. There was a one in six chance that Slade would find her.... or she would find Slade. She felt a tap on her shoulder. Her body tensed up, and she clenched her teeth, waiting for the inevitable first strike. Her fears were soon dispelled, though, as Beast Boy walked around to her front.
"Terra? Are you okay?" Beast Boy asked, noticing that Terra's eyes had a glossy look to them, and were streched wide, as if she was thinking distant thoughts. "Terra? Snap out of it." He waved his hand in front of her eyes. She didn't blink. She whimpered. Beast Boy turned around to walk into a punch from Slade, which knocked him into a wall several feet away. Terra was paralyzed; Slade grabbed her by the throat and lifted her up. Her feet dangled above the ground; her arms hung limply by her sides.
"W-wh.... what do you want with me?" Terra asked weakly. Slade chuckled.
"Oh, my dear, it's not so much what I want with you then what I want for you."
"What are you talking about?"
"The titans. They pretend to be your friends. It's all a charade."
"The titans are my friends..."
"Is that what they would have you believe? They think you're a joke, Terra. They're just waiting until you're of no further use to them. They have control of you, and they want to use you as a puppet. Those probes running around inside your body can kill you with the flick of a switch. You think you belong there. You don't. They hate you, Terra. They want to destroy you."
"Liar!" Terra screamed, thrashing about, trying to get Slade to release her from his iron grip.
"Poor, poor Terra. The only lie here... is the one you're living."
"Put her down, Slade." Slade turned around, still grasping Terra. His eyes met with Robin's. Slade's grip tightened; he began to choke Terra.
"No." Slade replied. "I'll kill her before you make me let go." Terra was no longer thrashing as much; she felt the life being taken out of her. She felt a sudden, sharp pain in her throat, and she fell to the ground. She gasped for air, not so much aware of what was happening around her. Robin and Slade had gotten into a sparring contest; Beast Boy was beginning to wake up. The others were not to be found. Terra turned over what Slade had told her in her mind. Was it true? It was true that she was only a shell of her former, angrier self. Would the titans actually take advantage of that, though? The people who had professed to be her friends throughout the last week? She painfully rolled over onto her stomach and began to crawl towards Beast Boy, the only one who had ever understood her. By now, Cyborg, Starfire and Raven had all appeared to help Robin fight Slade. It was a losing battle, though. She reached Beast Boy after what had seemed like an eternity; he was awake now, catching his breath before having to fight again. Beast Boy noticed Terra, grabbing her arm and helping her to her feet.
"Terra, you're so cold..." Beast Boy said softly.
"He wants me to run..." Terra replied.
"What?" Beast Boy answered.
"Slade wants me to run. He's hoping that I'll get afraid and run, so he can hunt me down at his leisure. Well, I'm tired of running away. If he wants me, he can come and get me."
"Terra, that's crazy talk."
"No. It's called fighting your fears." Terra walked away from Beast Boy and stood in front of Slade. "Slade." Slade threw Robin into Cyborg.
"Terra."
"Leave him alone, guys, I have to do this. How about it, Slade. You and me. One on one. For the first time. Right here. Right now."
"Consider your challenge... accepted."
"What is she doing?" Raven asked, obviously confused.
"Don't you see? She's fighting him so that she doesn't have to be afraid of him anymore. Her fear of him made her feel weak inside; if she fights him, she won't feel so weak." Beast Boy replied.
"Such bravery..." Starfire commented. Slade lunged at Terra, but Terra rolled out of the way. Terra picked up some rubble with her powers and threw it at Slade, concentrating. Slade jumped over it. Slade went for a punch, but Terra parried and hit back with a leg sweep. Slade fell to the ground. Terra picked up a wall and guided it over where Slade was laying. Terra's eyes stared at Slade harshly. Her arms shook, and she dropped them limply to her sides.
"Terra, what are you doing? Finish him!" Robin screamed. Terra couldn't tear her mind away from what she was about to do. She was about to take a life. She couldn't do it, but she knew she had to. Tears began to stream down her cheeks, stinging her cold skin. She threw the wall away from her; she had spared Slade's life. She collapsed to her knees and began to sob, head buried in her hands.
"I can't do it!" Terra screamed. "I can't kill him! It's just not right!" Slade staggered to his feet and chuckled.
"You have amazing potential, Terra, but your emotions make you weak, and as long as you are able to have emotion, you will never be as strong as you can be." Slade said, before diving into an open manhole. Beast Boy ran over to comfort Terra.
"See, Terra? See what just happened? That's the difference between what Slade did and what we have done. We didn't force you to make a certain choice. You made your own choices." Beast Boy exclaimed, beaming proudly. "And I'm glad to say that you made the right desicions." He turned to face the other titans. "Do you guys think we have a vancancy on the team?" Robin smiled.
"I'm sure something can be arranged."
Terra was quiet the entire way back to Titans Tower. Had she really given up the chance to kill Slade, the man who had wronged her and her friends on more than one occasion, to feel more human? Terra did not wish to remember what was running through her head as she stood there above Slade, ready to end his life. She thought that she was a monster. When they all arrived back, she was feeling depressed. She decided that she would take a shower, and then go to sleep. It was only mid-afternoon, but she already felt drained. She went to sleep remembering how happy Beast Boy was when the decision she had made turned out to be the right one.
A knock on the door. Terra opened one eye, and looked at the clock. It had been two hours since she had fallen asleep. "Come in!" She shouted. Beast Boy opened the door.
"We have something for you." He said. She pulled back the covers and got out of the bed. She followed Beast Boy to the living room, which had been decorated with balloons. All of the others stood there, smiling.
"Terra." Robin said enthusiastically. "Welcome to the Teen Titans!" A big grin appeared on Terra's face.
"Really?"
"Really."
"Wow, thank you all so much." She began to cry. "This means a lot to me."
"I propose a toast." Beast Boy proclaimed, handing Terra a glass filled with wine. "To Terra. A new teammate, and one hell of a good friend." Terra found her arms wrapping themselves around Beast Boy. He returned the favor.
"What do you mean she's sick?"
"You heard me, man. She's out of it, down for the count. And it's actually all our fault."
"Huh?"
"Those probes. They've done more harm than good."
"Are you sure? Robin said..."
"Robin was wrong. Her body temperature is 120 degrees. That's not exactly normal."
"Son of a bitch." A crash. "Will she be alright?"
"I don't know, BB. I can get the probes to deactivate easily enough, but if she's going to fully recover remains to be seen." Terra opened her eyes. People were talking outside the door, and from what she had gotten out of their conversation, they had been talking about her. She felt incredibly hot. She wiped sweat off her temple, and pulled back the sheets. She felt fragile and weak; although the party of the night before had lifted her spirits a little, she was depressed again. She felt odd; almost as if this entire thing was some incredibly vivid dream. She stood up; her knees locked up and she fell forward. Beast Boy opened the door. His eyes immediately shot to her, laying motionless on the floor.
"Terra!" He yelled, rushing to her aid. Cyborg came running in behind him. Beast Boy picked her up and placed her on top of the bed. Terra was having trouble breathing now, though she could make no indication about it. Somehow, Cyborg knew, placing an oxygen mask over her mouth. "Cyborg, what's going on?"
"The probes. They're fighting her," Cyborg responded, "and they're winning. Shit, there's one... There's one stuck in her throat."
"How do we get it out?" Beast Boy asked, desperately.
"Go find Robin. Get him to bring the control here." Cyborg replied. Beast Boy ran off. "And get an ice pack!" Cyborg shouted after him. He turned his attention to Terra. "Alright, Terra. I know this will put a big strain on your body, but I need you to calm down. Try your hardest to get your heart beating normally. Don't try to talk, just do it. BB's on the way with the probe control, and we're going to shut them down." Terra's eyes widened. Her limbs, which were limp, stiffened. Beast Boy ran back into the room, ice pack in hand; Robin trailed behind him. Terra stared at the ceiling unblinkingly. Her chest was no longer rising and falling.
"Damnit! Is she... dead?" Beast Boy asked, sadly.
"Nope. Her vitals still check out." Cyborg replied. He turned to Robin. "Give me the control." Robin handed Cyborg a small, black box. "BB, try to comfort her. This is going to hurt." Beast Boy sat down next to Terra. Cyborg turned a dial on the control, and electricity crackled over Terra's skin. Terra clenched her teeth and shut her eyes tightly. The pain was unbearable, but Terra thought that she had to survive. She opened her eyes and yelped.
"So this is what it's like to... feel helpless..." Terra strained. As suddenly as the pain started, it stopped, and she passed out.
"Terra! Wake up!" Beast Boy said, roughly shaking her.
"Beast Boy, give it a rest." Cyborg replied. "She's just had some sections of her body shut down. She'll be awake in a few hours." He turned to Robin. "Why did you put those probes in there?"
"She was too unstable," Robin answered, shrugging, "and we tried to help her."
"Help her?" Beast Boy asked. "You almost killed her! This is all because you still can't trust her, isn't it? She's still just a person to you, isn't she? You don't know where her alliegences lie, so you have to try and control her, isn't that right? I can't believe that after everything that's gone on in this past week, you still can't trust her! She's had one of the worst weeks of her life, because you can't trust her! I don't know how the hell-"
"BB, calm down." Cyborg cut him off. "It's true though, Robin. You need to learn to trust her. I'll admit that I didn't trust her at first, either, but her actions have said a lot more than she has. So, what say you give her a chance? Allow her to be a good person?" Robin thought this over a bit.
"Alright, I'll try. But I'm not making any promises."
"I think we should let them be alone." Cyborg whispered, nodding towards Beast Boy and Terra. Cyborg and Robin left the room. Beast Boy leaned close to Terra's face. She looked so calm. A far cry from what things had been like for her.
"Terra, I know you can hear me. I never thought that all this would happen. I knew that the others wouldn't trust you as much as they did before, but I never thought that it would be to this extent. I want you to know that I've forgiven you completely for everything you've ever done, every bad thing you've ever done." Tears began to trickle down Beast Boy's cheeks. "I know that all you ever wanted was some friends, and a place to call your own. Well, this is the place, and we are your friends, even if the others are still suspicious of you. I knew that all you wanted to do was find a way to redeem yourself for all the pain and suffering Slade made you cause. Well, Terra, you did redeem yourself. You've found redemption more than once, in fact. Everything you've done recently, including your show of mercy yesterday, has proven what a good person you can be. You are troubled, Terra, you are depressed, but you have the power to beat that. You do get emotional sometimes, but it doesn't matter, because you are only human. And as a human, you have a right to be treated like one. I'm going to go talk to the others about that soon. I guess what I'm trying to say here is..... I love you, Terra. I always have and I always will. I'll still love you, even if you die. But you're not going to die, because I can't let that happen. Words can't express how I feel about you, Terra. You really are special. That's why I love you." Terra's eyes slowly opened to the sight of Beast Boy staring her in the face. She pulled him close and kissed him.
"Beast Boy...." Terra began, speaking softly, "Everything you said was true..." Beast Boy smiled. "Sometimes, I am a little hard on myself, but I just didn't know it until I met you..."
"Are you alright?" Beast Boy asked, noticing that Terra's skin was turning red.
"Just a little burning sensation. No big deal." Terra replied, shrugging it off. Beast Boy frowned.
"It might be. I'll go get Cyborg." He ran off. Terra didn't try to move; her back and neck were really bothering her. There was a knock on the door.
"Come in!" Terra yelled. Starfire and Raven entered the room.
"Terra, dear friend!" Starfire exclaimed enthusiastically, practically jumping on Terra. "I hope you are feeling well once more!"
"How are you feeling?" Raven asked. "Emotionally."
"Alone." Terra replied somberly. "There's a lot that I still want to learn about myself, and I want to make sure no one here is suspicious of me anymore. That's why I've decided that once this entire thing blows over, I'm going to go away for a while."
"Alone? Go away?" Starfire asked. "Why?"
"She's depressed, Star." Raven answered on Terra's behalf.
"I want to make amends for what I've done." Terra added.
"But have you not already done enough?" Starfire questioned. "You have apologized, and you have fought Slade. What more can you do?"
"No, I haven't." Terra replied. "I want to be held responsible for all the emotional and physical damage I've done. I want a chance to fix all the damage I've done. But I've caused so much, I don't think that I'll ever be able to. Besides, living is killing me. Sometimes I think I'm not exactly sane." Cyborg entered the room.
"Terra, are you cold?" He asked, looking at her skin.
"No, why?" Terra replied.
"It looks like it might be frostbite, or a sunburn. And since it's cloudy today, that rules out one of the options."
"Well, actually... I feel weird. Could I have some morphine?" Terra asked.
"Certainly, friend!" Starfire cheerfully replied. She left the room.
"So, Terra, what exactly doesn't feel right?" Cyborg asked. He got no response. "Terra?" He walked over and looked in Terra's eyes. They were glassy and cold, staring distantly into nothing. "Terra? Hello? Raven, can you pick anything up?" Raven closed her eyes.
"No. She's not thinking anything. I'm sensing no brain activity, either. It's like she's.... just a shell." Beast Boy came into the room.
"BB, Terra's... not here right now." Cyborg said.
"What do you mean?" Beast Boy replied. "She's right there."
"Just her body." Raven responded. There was silence in the room.
"That's the same way she was before she was attacked by Slade yesterday..." Beast Boy replied softly.
"Slade's not here, though. What could be happening?" Cyborg asked. Beast Boy began to wimper. "And, no, BB, she's not dead. She's still breathing."
"Wait, I'm getting something." Raven interrupted. "Memories... memories of Slade, memories of fighting us... I think I know why she's like this."
"Why?" Beast Boy asked desperately.
"It's a coping mechanism. She's gotten her body to paralyze itself whenever she thinks of previous traumatic events." Raven explained. Cyborg began to raise a finger. "Cyborg, we all know you're the science guy, but that doesn't mean that the rest of us don't know anything."
"Can you get in her head?" Beast Boy asked.
"I can try." Raven replied. There was a silence. "Done." Raven fell to her knees.
"Raven, are you alright?" Cyborg asked.
"I should be, but I might need some of the morphine that Star's bringing. Damn, she's strong." Raven replied. Beast Boy ran over to Terra. She blinked.
"I'm free..." Terra said as Starfire entered the room, medical case in hand. "I'm free because all I ever did was dwell on the past. I could never see the present or the future. I have my demons, but I can overcome them. Right now, though, I feel pretty weak. My mind won't think. I shouldn't move. Most importantly, I need sleep."
"I suppose we can respect that." Starfire said. "Come on, friends." Cyborg and Raven followed. Beast Boy turned to Terra.
"It was true, then. You trapped yourself in your own mind. Why didn't you tell me?" Beast Boy asked. Terra sighed.
"To be honest, Beast Boy, I didn't even know. I didn't even know I caused it." Terra opened the medical case, pulling out a needle. Beast Boy sat there, deep in thought.
"But... if you didn't cause it... who did?" Beast Boy asked.
"I don't know."
"Titans, fan out. He's got to be around here somewhere." Robin ordered. Everyone went off in different directions, and Terra found herself left alone, in the middle of a desolate, rubble-littered road. She sighed, clenched her fists, and started walking. Her mind flashed back to previous experiences. Images of Slade clouded her mind. She shut her eyes tight, head turned towards the ground. These were painful memories, and she wanted to forget them. She wanted to deny that Slade had ever existed. How could she, though, when she was one of six looking for him? She began to contemplate that he knew where she was, and was just waiting, biding time, until he got his opportunity, his one clear chance to destroy her. Knowing that there were five other targets in the area somehow made her feel less edgy. There was a one in six chance that Slade would find her.... or she would find Slade. She felt a tap on her shoulder. Her body tensed up, and she clenched her teeth, waiting for the inevitable first strike. Her fears were soon dispelled, though, as Beast Boy walked around to her front.
"Terra? Are you okay?" Beast Boy asked, noticing that Terra's eyes had a glossy look to them, and were streched wide, as if she was thinking distant thoughts. "Terra? Snap out of it." He waved his hand in front of her eyes. She didn't blink. She whimpered. Beast Boy turned around to walk into a punch from Slade, which knocked him into a wall several feet away. Terra was paralyzed; Slade grabbed her by the throat and lifted her up. Her feet dangled above the ground; her arms hung limply by her sides.
"W-wh.... what do you want with me?" Terra asked weakly. Slade chuckled.
"Oh, my dear, it's not so much what I want with you then what I want for you."
"What are you talking about?"
"The titans. They pretend to be your friends. It's all a charade."
"The titans are my friends..."
"Is that what they would have you believe? They think you're a joke, Terra. They're just waiting until you're of no further use to them. They have control of you, and they want to use you as a puppet. Those probes running around inside your body can kill you with the flick of a switch. You think you belong there. You don't. They hate you, Terra. They want to destroy you."
"Liar!" Terra screamed, thrashing about, trying to get Slade to release her from his iron grip.
"Poor, poor Terra. The only lie here... is the one you're living."
"Put her down, Slade." Slade turned around, still grasping Terra. His eyes met with Robin's. Slade's grip tightened; he began to choke Terra.
"No." Slade replied. "I'll kill her before you make me let go." Terra was no longer thrashing as much; she felt the life being taken out of her. She felt a sudden, sharp pain in her throat, and she fell to the ground. She gasped for air, not so much aware of what was happening around her. Robin and Slade had gotten into a sparring contest; Beast Boy was beginning to wake up. The others were not to be found. Terra turned over what Slade had told her in her mind. Was it true? It was true that she was only a shell of her former, angrier self. Would the titans actually take advantage of that, though? The people who had professed to be her friends throughout the last week? She painfully rolled over onto her stomach and began to crawl towards Beast Boy, the only one who had ever understood her. By now, Cyborg, Starfire and Raven had all appeared to help Robin fight Slade. It was a losing battle, though. She reached Beast Boy after what had seemed like an eternity; he was awake now, catching his breath before having to fight again. Beast Boy noticed Terra, grabbing her arm and helping her to her feet.
"Terra, you're so cold..." Beast Boy said softly.
"He wants me to run..." Terra replied.
"What?" Beast Boy answered.
"Slade wants me to run. He's hoping that I'll get afraid and run, so he can hunt me down at his leisure. Well, I'm tired of running away. If he wants me, he can come and get me."
"Terra, that's crazy talk."
"No. It's called fighting your fears." Terra walked away from Beast Boy and stood in front of Slade. "Slade." Slade threw Robin into Cyborg.
"Terra."
"Leave him alone, guys, I have to do this. How about it, Slade. You and me. One on one. For the first time. Right here. Right now."
"Consider your challenge... accepted."
"What is she doing?" Raven asked, obviously confused.
"Don't you see? She's fighting him so that she doesn't have to be afraid of him anymore. Her fear of him made her feel weak inside; if she fights him, she won't feel so weak." Beast Boy replied.
"Such bravery..." Starfire commented. Slade lunged at Terra, but Terra rolled out of the way. Terra picked up some rubble with her powers and threw it at Slade, concentrating. Slade jumped over it. Slade went for a punch, but Terra parried and hit back with a leg sweep. Slade fell to the ground. Terra picked up a wall and guided it over where Slade was laying. Terra's eyes stared at Slade harshly. Her arms shook, and she dropped them limply to her sides.
"Terra, what are you doing? Finish him!" Robin screamed. Terra couldn't tear her mind away from what she was about to do. She was about to take a life. She couldn't do it, but she knew she had to. Tears began to stream down her cheeks, stinging her cold skin. She threw the wall away from her; she had spared Slade's life. She collapsed to her knees and began to sob, head buried in her hands.
"I can't do it!" Terra screamed. "I can't kill him! It's just not right!" Slade staggered to his feet and chuckled.
"You have amazing potential, Terra, but your emotions make you weak, and as long as you are able to have emotion, you will never be as strong as you can be." Slade said, before diving into an open manhole. Beast Boy ran over to comfort Terra.
"See, Terra? See what just happened? That's the difference between what Slade did and what we have done. We didn't force you to make a certain choice. You made your own choices." Beast Boy exclaimed, beaming proudly. "And I'm glad to say that you made the right desicions." He turned to face the other titans. "Do you guys think we have a vancancy on the team?" Robin smiled.
"I'm sure something can be arranged."
Terra was quiet the entire way back to Titans Tower. Had she really given up the chance to kill Slade, the man who had wronged her and her friends on more than one occasion, to feel more human? Terra did not wish to remember what was running through her head as she stood there above Slade, ready to end his life. She thought that she was a monster. When they all arrived back, she was feeling depressed. She decided that she would take a shower, and then go to sleep. It was only mid-afternoon, but she already felt drained. She went to sleep remembering how happy Beast Boy was when the decision she had made turned out to be the right one.
A knock on the door. Terra opened one eye, and looked at the clock. It had been two hours since she had fallen asleep. "Come in!" She shouted. Beast Boy opened the door.
"We have something for you." He said. She pulled back the covers and got out of the bed. She followed Beast Boy to the living room, which had been decorated with balloons. All of the others stood there, smiling.
"Terra." Robin said enthusiastically. "Welcome to the Teen Titans!" A big grin appeared on Terra's face.
"Really?"
"Really."
"Wow, thank you all so much." She began to cry. "This means a lot to me."
"I propose a toast." Beast Boy proclaimed, handing Terra a glass filled with wine. "To Terra. A new teammate, and one hell of a good friend." Terra found her arms wrapping themselves around Beast Boy. He returned the favor.
"What do you mean she's sick?"
"You heard me, man. She's out of it, down for the count. And it's actually all our fault."
"Huh?"
"Those probes. They've done more harm than good."
"Are you sure? Robin said..."
"Robin was wrong. Her body temperature is 120 degrees. That's not exactly normal."
"Son of a bitch." A crash. "Will she be alright?"
"I don't know, BB. I can get the probes to deactivate easily enough, but if she's going to fully recover remains to be seen." Terra opened her eyes. People were talking outside the door, and from what she had gotten out of their conversation, they had been talking about her. She felt incredibly hot. She wiped sweat off her temple, and pulled back the sheets. She felt fragile and weak; although the party of the night before had lifted her spirits a little, she was depressed again. She felt odd; almost as if this entire thing was some incredibly vivid dream. She stood up; her knees locked up and she fell forward. Beast Boy opened the door. His eyes immediately shot to her, laying motionless on the floor.
"Terra!" He yelled, rushing to her aid. Cyborg came running in behind him. Beast Boy picked her up and placed her on top of the bed. Terra was having trouble breathing now, though she could make no indication about it. Somehow, Cyborg knew, placing an oxygen mask over her mouth. "Cyborg, what's going on?"
"The probes. They're fighting her," Cyborg responded, "and they're winning. Shit, there's one... There's one stuck in her throat."
"How do we get it out?" Beast Boy asked, desperately.
"Go find Robin. Get him to bring the control here." Cyborg replied. Beast Boy ran off. "And get an ice pack!" Cyborg shouted after him. He turned his attention to Terra. "Alright, Terra. I know this will put a big strain on your body, but I need you to calm down. Try your hardest to get your heart beating normally. Don't try to talk, just do it. BB's on the way with the probe control, and we're going to shut them down." Terra's eyes widened. Her limbs, which were limp, stiffened. Beast Boy ran back into the room, ice pack in hand; Robin trailed behind him. Terra stared at the ceiling unblinkingly. Her chest was no longer rising and falling.
"Damnit! Is she... dead?" Beast Boy asked, sadly.
"Nope. Her vitals still check out." Cyborg replied. He turned to Robin. "Give me the control." Robin handed Cyborg a small, black box. "BB, try to comfort her. This is going to hurt." Beast Boy sat down next to Terra. Cyborg turned a dial on the control, and electricity crackled over Terra's skin. Terra clenched her teeth and shut her eyes tightly. The pain was unbearable, but Terra thought that she had to survive. She opened her eyes and yelped.
"So this is what it's like to... feel helpless..." Terra strained. As suddenly as the pain started, it stopped, and she passed out.
"Terra! Wake up!" Beast Boy said, roughly shaking her.
"Beast Boy, give it a rest." Cyborg replied. "She's just had some sections of her body shut down. She'll be awake in a few hours." He turned to Robin. "Why did you put those probes in there?"
"She was too unstable," Robin answered, shrugging, "and we tried to help her."
"Help her?" Beast Boy asked. "You almost killed her! This is all because you still can't trust her, isn't it? She's still just a person to you, isn't she? You don't know where her alliegences lie, so you have to try and control her, isn't that right? I can't believe that after everything that's gone on in this past week, you still can't trust her! She's had one of the worst weeks of her life, because you can't trust her! I don't know how the hell-"
"BB, calm down." Cyborg cut him off. "It's true though, Robin. You need to learn to trust her. I'll admit that I didn't trust her at first, either, but her actions have said a lot more than she has. So, what say you give her a chance? Allow her to be a good person?" Robin thought this over a bit.
"Alright, I'll try. But I'm not making any promises."
"I think we should let them be alone." Cyborg whispered, nodding towards Beast Boy and Terra. Cyborg and Robin left the room. Beast Boy leaned close to Terra's face. She looked so calm. A far cry from what things had been like for her.
"Terra, I know you can hear me. I never thought that all this would happen. I knew that the others wouldn't trust you as much as they did before, but I never thought that it would be to this extent. I want you to know that I've forgiven you completely for everything you've ever done, every bad thing you've ever done." Tears began to trickle down Beast Boy's cheeks. "I know that all you ever wanted was some friends, and a place to call your own. Well, this is the place, and we are your friends, even if the others are still suspicious of you. I knew that all you wanted to do was find a way to redeem yourself for all the pain and suffering Slade made you cause. Well, Terra, you did redeem yourself. You've found redemption more than once, in fact. Everything you've done recently, including your show of mercy yesterday, has proven what a good person you can be. You are troubled, Terra, you are depressed, but you have the power to beat that. You do get emotional sometimes, but it doesn't matter, because you are only human. And as a human, you have a right to be treated like one. I'm going to go talk to the others about that soon. I guess what I'm trying to say here is..... I love you, Terra. I always have and I always will. I'll still love you, even if you die. But you're not going to die, because I can't let that happen. Words can't express how I feel about you, Terra. You really are special. That's why I love you." Terra's eyes slowly opened to the sight of Beast Boy staring her in the face. She pulled him close and kissed him.
"Beast Boy...." Terra began, speaking softly, "Everything you said was true..." Beast Boy smiled. "Sometimes, I am a little hard on myself, but I just didn't know it until I met you..."
"Are you alright?" Beast Boy asked, noticing that Terra's skin was turning red.
"Just a little burning sensation. No big deal." Terra replied, shrugging it off. Beast Boy frowned.
"It might be. I'll go get Cyborg." He ran off. Terra didn't try to move; her back and neck were really bothering her. There was a knock on the door.
"Come in!" Terra yelled. Starfire and Raven entered the room.
"Terra, dear friend!" Starfire exclaimed enthusiastically, practically jumping on Terra. "I hope you are feeling well once more!"
"How are you feeling?" Raven asked. "Emotionally."
"Alone." Terra replied somberly. "There's a lot that I still want to learn about myself, and I want to make sure no one here is suspicious of me anymore. That's why I've decided that once this entire thing blows over, I'm going to go away for a while."
"Alone? Go away?" Starfire asked. "Why?"
"She's depressed, Star." Raven answered on Terra's behalf.
"I want to make amends for what I've done." Terra added.
"But have you not already done enough?" Starfire questioned. "You have apologized, and you have fought Slade. What more can you do?"
"No, I haven't." Terra replied. "I want to be held responsible for all the emotional and physical damage I've done. I want a chance to fix all the damage I've done. But I've caused so much, I don't think that I'll ever be able to. Besides, living is killing me. Sometimes I think I'm not exactly sane." Cyborg entered the room.
"Terra, are you cold?" He asked, looking at her skin.
"No, why?" Terra replied.
"It looks like it might be frostbite, or a sunburn. And since it's cloudy today, that rules out one of the options."
"Well, actually... I feel weird. Could I have some morphine?" Terra asked.
"Certainly, friend!" Starfire cheerfully replied. She left the room.
"So, Terra, what exactly doesn't feel right?" Cyborg asked. He got no response. "Terra?" He walked over and looked in Terra's eyes. They were glassy and cold, staring distantly into nothing. "Terra? Hello? Raven, can you pick anything up?" Raven closed her eyes.
"No. She's not thinking anything. I'm sensing no brain activity, either. It's like she's.... just a shell." Beast Boy came into the room.
"BB, Terra's... not here right now." Cyborg said.
"What do you mean?" Beast Boy replied. "She's right there."
"Just her body." Raven responded. There was silence in the room.
"That's the same way she was before she was attacked by Slade yesterday..." Beast Boy replied softly.
"Slade's not here, though. What could be happening?" Cyborg asked. Beast Boy began to wimper. "And, no, BB, she's not dead. She's still breathing."
"Wait, I'm getting something." Raven interrupted. "Memories... memories of Slade, memories of fighting us... I think I know why she's like this."
"Why?" Beast Boy asked desperately.
"It's a coping mechanism. She's gotten her body to paralyze itself whenever she thinks of previous traumatic events." Raven explained. Cyborg began to raise a finger. "Cyborg, we all know you're the science guy, but that doesn't mean that the rest of us don't know anything."
"Can you get in her head?" Beast Boy asked.
"I can try." Raven replied. There was a silence. "Done." Raven fell to her knees.
"Raven, are you alright?" Cyborg asked.
"I should be, but I might need some of the morphine that Star's bringing. Damn, she's strong." Raven replied. Beast Boy ran over to Terra. She blinked.
"I'm free..." Terra said as Starfire entered the room, medical case in hand. "I'm free because all I ever did was dwell on the past. I could never see the present or the future. I have my demons, but I can overcome them. Right now, though, I feel pretty weak. My mind won't think. I shouldn't move. Most importantly, I need sleep."
"I suppose we can respect that." Starfire said. "Come on, friends." Cyborg and Raven followed. Beast Boy turned to Terra.
"It was true, then. You trapped yourself in your own mind. Why didn't you tell me?" Beast Boy asked. Terra sighed.
"To be honest, Beast Boy, I didn't even know. I didn't even know I caused it." Terra opened the medical case, pulling out a needle. Beast Boy sat there, deep in thought.
"But... if you didn't cause it... who did?" Beast Boy asked.
"I don't know."