KOBAN WA OMG GOMEN NASI FOR TAKING SO LONG FOR AN UPDATE. Well you see I'm a senior in high school things are always busy. ACT's, tests, and projects. --
Well here it is chapter 4 of The Parody that killed all X Movie Parodies. In this chappy Subaru fights Sei-chan. We meet Fuuma and Kotori, and some other crap happens. So sit back and relax.
The Romantic Food Fight and Other JunkKamui perched on a local rooftop to watch the battle between the two former lovers. One a weird yet hot trench coat wearing guy, with sunglasses, (It's night who wears sunglasses at night?). The other is dressed in a white button down dress, and not to mention he looks very UKE right now!
"Well Subaru-kun," started the sunglasses at night weirdo," I'm so glad you could come out tonight and see me."
"Does this white dress make me look fat?" asked the Uke.
"No it's very becoming of you Subaru-kun. You look like a blushing bride," replied the elder bishonen.
"Wow," stuttered the Uke," Thanks Sei-chan I am blushing,"
Kamui was watching, and thinking why are they being do cutie with each other, they were suppose to be killing each other.
"Come on I want to see some blood!" shouted the impassion pretty boy.
"You know Subaru-kun that beautiful mysterious voice is right we should be fighting not flirting," said Sei-chan with a smile.
"What you think he has a more prettier voice then me?" asked the angry Uke.
"Yup," answered Sei-chan," I wanna hear him moan."
Kamui: OO?!
Uke (Subaru) V-V
Sei-chan: (thinking naught thoughts) (A/N: When is he not?)
"I've had enough of you!" yelled the pissed off Uke," We finish it right here and now!" Then the Uke put up a barrier shield that looked like Strawberry Shortcake.
"So I take it, you never stop watching this childish 1980's cartoon huh Subaru-kun?"
"Shut up!" yelled the Uke who has somehow changed into a Strawberry Shortcake shirt and pink pants.
"You are so gay,..." said Sei-chan.
"I'll show you who's gay!" yelled the very obvious gay boy. He starts to power up and his body starts to make a boiling noise, and for some odd reason it smells like noodles.
"Interesting..." sighed Sei-chan. Kamui watched with intensity, he had never seen anything so DAMN gay!
"I don't want to be left alone in a room with one of these two." The pretty boy thought to himself.
"Get ready Sei-chan this is my new attack!" yelled the Uke who smelled of chicken noodles.
"What did you say something?" asked Sei-chan as he put away his Inu Yasha manga.
"Man you really make me mad. First you killed my twin sister, betrayed me, stand me several times for our dates, and you...RIPPED UP MY STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE COLLECT!"
"Your point is?" asked Sei-chan.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhh. This attack is for all those times you stood me up! SUPER RAMEN I STILL THINK YOU'RE A HOT SEXY JERK, EVEN THOUGH I REALLY HATE YOU CHAIN!" the Uke swung a giant noodle at Sei-chan who only caught it with his teeth, and sucked the noodle into this mouth and ate it.
"Nice Subaru-kun, but I have a better attack," Sei-chan takes out the dinner menu and reads it," Ah, here's a good one."
He takes out a coupon for 10 off of turkey legs, and uses his crazy powers to do something well...crazy.
"Weird flying drumsticks!" said the elder man, as he used his coupon to summon the bizarre turkey legs and they were also wearing sunglasses, (A/N: sunglasses . ) "attack the Uke!" The legs went flying toward Subaru, and the dumbass was to stun to fight back or he could have been more worried about his Strawberry Shortcake shirt getting ripped up, so he ran around like a scarred little baby.
"Ahhhhhh! Save me!" screamed the scared Uke. (A/N: I bet he's gone his pants already ) Kamui sat and watched and ate his popcorn in silence, thinking that the Uke deserves to die. After running around so much a turkey leg flew into Subaru's mouth, and started to choke him. "ACK! GAK! UKE!" gagged the poor choking boy. Turning blue in the face Subaru finally killed over. Sei-chan could only laugh, as he held his Inu Yasha manga.
"Sorry Subaru-kun, but it had to be done," as he laughed a turkey legs also flew into Sei-chan's mouth, chocking him, and he as well dropped dead. The Strawberry Shortcake barrier came down, and left a smell of strawberry Kiel (it's a kind of alcohol)
Kamui flew over to see the remains of the battle, "Wow! They both ended up chocking to death on turkey, so tragic. YES I GET THE LEFT OVERS!" Kamui bent down to gather the turkey pieces when he heard a voice call for him.
"Kamui, this battle was only the tip of the ice berg, and remember to clean up all of your sakura petals when you leave Tokyo again, and to read Tsubasa," said the voice, who was really the guy that was used to replace Kakyou in the movie.
"Why should I read Tsubasa?" asked Kamui.
"Cause I show up in it. It's the only time CLAMP has ever put me in a manga!" answered the angry replacement.
"Sure I'll look into it," replied Kamui. As for Subaru-kun (Uke) and Sei-chan they've arrived in the after life, and are greeted by Hokuto and Kakyou.
"Hey little brother it's so good to see you again. It's sucks that you died," said Hokuto with a smile.
"Always good to see you to Onaasan. Oh who's the guy with you?" asked Subaru.
"This is my koibito Kakyou-kun. Kakyou-kun this is my younger twin brother Subaru-kun, and our friend, his lover and the guy who killed me, Sei-chan," said Hokuto.
"Well now two sexy Ukes," said Sei-chan with a smirk,"lookes like I'm in trouble."
Subaru: OO
Hokuto: .
Kakyou: o.O
Sei-chan:
We cut back to Tokyo at the Togokoshi Shrine where we see the young blond headed girl come out from her house. She seems to be very happy with the dream she just, and we're not going to ask why.
"Oniichan!" cried the girl," guess what?"
"What?" asked her brother, who was facing the other way looking up at the stars.
"I had a dream about Kamui just now!" said Kotori.
"KAMUI!?" shouted her older brother as he turned around all of a sudden with a gust of wind, and cherry petals swirled around him, and harp music started to play in the background.
Fuuma fangirl 1: Oh Fuuma is so hot
Fuuma fangirl 2: Yes he is.
Both: (sigh)
"Yes Kamui," replied Kotori," he's our old childhood friend. I sure do miss him. I dreamed he was grow up and good looking."
"Did he still act like a weird?" asked Fuuma.
"Well...yeah kinda." Said Kotori.
"I remember the day Kamui and his mother left Tokyo 6 years ago," started Fuuma.
"Yes, mother was very upset to see Kamui's mom leave. I wonder why she took it the hardest?" asked Kotori.
"Who knows? I remember the day Kamui and his mom were chased out of town because Kamui was getting sakura petals all over town and causing people to drown in them," stated Fuuma.
"I remember the days when we used to play together, it was so much fun," sighed Kotori.
Fuuma and Kotori watch an illusion of themselves and Kamui playing "the end of the earth".
"Okay Fuuma, you have to tie Kotori to that metal poll, and you have to stab her and chop her head off while I scream like a crazy person, then we have to battle to the death," said child Kamui.
"Okay," replied child Fuuma.
"I don't like this game!" cried child Kotori.
"Gosh our kids are just so cute, aren't they?" said Touri as she and Fuuma and Kotori's mom watched the kids play.
"Yes, but not as cute as you," said Fuuma and Kotori's mother as she started to make out with Touri. (1)
"Ah so many memories," sighed Fuuma.
"Yeah," agreed Kotori.
The ground starts to shack and giant noodles come out from the ground.
"Ahhhh Oniichan it's the attack of the killer food!" cried Kotori.
"What! But I thought that one weird gay guy was dead?" shouted Fumma.
"What gay guy?" asked Kotori.
"I have no idea how I knew that..." said Fuuma.
We cut to Dragon of Earth HQ and see Satsuki sitting on the beast in her dominatrix outfit controlling the beast.
"What a fool. First of all, yes Subaru is dead, second of all these are not chicken noodles these are meat noodles, and third of all. How does he know about Subaru?"
"Oniichan help!" yelled Kotori.
"Hang on I'm coming!" cried Fuuma, but before he could get there a giant gust of wind blew and sakura petals filled the air, and a black figure jumped out of no where and grabbed Kotori and blew up the noodles with a single blast. Who is this, and why does he have special powers and sakura petals? And why does Fuuma know about Subaru? Can Sie-chan have two ukes? Find out in chapter 5!
OH boy chapter 4 is finally done and to sum up a few things about Fuuma's mom and Kamui's mom. (1)
Fuuma's mom is a lesbo and she is in love with Kamui's mom. In the series she takes Kamui's mom's place to bear the first sword, all because of her love for her.
Fuuma and Kamui Yaoi fangirl 1: Wow how sweet! No wonder why Fuuma and kamui have such a special bond. (cries)
FaKYFG 2: Yea...(reads a X doujinshi about Fuuma and Kamui)
FaKYFG 1: Hey let me see!
FaKYFG 2: No!
They start to fight
Me: rr plz -.-