A/N I hope y'all like my revised chapter two. But here's chapter three. Please review.

Disclaimer: seems I for got this in the last chapter. -. - hehe oops. I don't own Lord of the Rings. But I am currently trying to own Legolas, *drool*, but that's beside the point. Now on to the story. And the conversation between Boromir and Faramir (about Boromir being dead) is not mine either, I got the idea from another humor fic I read. I can't remember which one, but just so y'all know it's not mine.

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Chapter 3 - The Return of the Dead and Pink Nazgul

"I dunno know. Who's Arwen?" Aragorn said.

Legolas sighed. "She's your wife."

"I'm married?! Oh shit!" Aragorn promptly passed out on the table.

"Okaaaaaaaaaaaay," said Legolas. Another round of drinks was brought to the table. The hobbits immediately gulped theirs down. Gimli downed his and then reached for Aragorn's. Legolas continued to scan the crowed for Arwen.

Suddenly the music stopped the room quieted and everyone stared at the door. In walked Boromir and Faramir. Boromir noticed everyone staring at them "What?" he asked. "Take a picture it'll last longer!" Everyone in the club pulled out a camera and snapped several pictures.

The brothers now blinded by the camera flashes managed to stumble over to the fellowship's table. Legolas stared at Boromir. "WHAT?"

"Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay," Legolas said again.

The music resumed and the people went back to what they were doing. "Hey Boromir I thought you were dead!" Pippin shouted. Boromir gave him the evil eye. "Okay so you're not dead then."

"Yes he is!" Faramir said. "He's just in denial."

"NO I'M NOT! You're just mad because dad likes me better than you." Faramir crossed his arms and pouted. Boromir stuck his tongue out at his brother.

"Where is did Arwen go?!" Legolas asked again.

"I AM THE KING!" Aragorn jumped up and shouted.

"Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king," Boromir protested.

"And whas's that s'posed to mean," slurred the drunken king.

"Oh lord here we go again," Legolas said. He watched as Boromir tried to defend himself. Boromir ranting about how since he had died that Aragorn was running Gondor right into the ground. Aragorn yelling 'I AM THE KING!' many many times.

"IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN MIDDLE EARTH JUST SHUT UP!" Pippin yelled.

Everyone stared at him. Gandalf suddenly pops up out of no where. "FOOL OF A TOOK!" He hits Pippin on the head with his staff and vanishes in a cloud of smoke. Pippin rubbed the bump on his head.

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And now a word from the psychotic authoress [and Pippin ; -)]:

Pippin: Owwww why'd you make him hit me?

Me: Ehhh sorry Pip. *Runs and hugs Pippin tightly to me*

Pippin: Can't…. *gasp*…. breathe. *gasp*

Me: Alright everyone. Back to the story now.

Pippin: *gasp* Help.

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While the Fellowship was arguing, smoking and/or drinking some strange looking characters walk in the door.

Nine robed evil beings walked in to the club. They bore a strong resemblance to the Nazgul, except their robes were……pink. Once again everyone in the club stopped and stared at the door.

"Scrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeechhhhhhhhhhh," Nazgul #1 said. (The screech translates to "WHAT?". From now on when the Nazgul talk I am gonna just put what they mean in parentheses after it)

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Everyone screamed.

"Scccccccccccccrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeechhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," came from Nazgul #3. (Stop yelling. Sauron died our robes pink for failing to kill the hobbit.)

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nazgul #1 shakes his head and motions for his companions to follow him. They go and sit at a table in the back.

*Back at the Fellowship*

"Well that was odd," Faramir said to Legolas, as they watched Aragorn and Boromir continue to fight.

"Odd things have been happening all night here," Legolas answered. "We found Gimli dancing on a table. Arwen had to go save him from getting arrested."

"The she-elf did not save me. I was doing fine on my own," Gimli said fiercely and then resumed smoking.

"Speaking of which…where did Arwen go?" Legolas mused.

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A/N: Thank you thank you. *bows* As always…R/R. Please come back in a week for the next installment of The Ring: "Where in the hell did Arwen go?"