Disclaimer: All of the characters are J.R. Tolkien's, not mine. I do not make any money with this story.
Rating: PG – mentions m/m
Summary: Arwen muses about the choices that she, Aragorn and Legolas have made. Sequel to First Meetings, To Make A Choice, and Inauspicious Beginnings.One shot. AU.
Author's note: Although I very much like the notion of Aragorn and Legolas as a couple, I cannot disregard Tolkien's work to the extent that I write Arwen out. Here is my solution to the dilemma. It has probably been done before, if it has – this is my version. Please read and review, flames are not accepted.
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Choices Made
Arwen Undomiel, Evenstar of the Elves and Queen of Anor and Gondor, stood on a balcony above her gardens. These gardens occupied an entire level of the palace in Minas Tirith. The queen had spent much time and effort to revive the neglected ancient gardens and to create a space similar to her own home in Rivendell. And she had had help. Her father and brothers had brought plants and seedlings that would survive in the harsher climate of Gondor, but most help had come from a rather unexpected source.
Legolas Greenleaf, heir to Thranduil of the Great Woodland realm and more recently Lord of Ithilien, had spent many days and weeks helping her to create green spaces of beauty. He had brought some of his people with him, and the elves had worked hard to instil some green and natural beauty into the stone city of Minas Tirith.
-o-o-o-
Currently the queen was watching the prince and her husband. They were deep in conversation, walking along the garden path. Aragorn was talking animatedly, frequently touching Legolas' arm to underline whatever it was that he was saying. Legolas smiled in response, and for a brief moment touched Aragorn's hand with his own. The two looked exactly like what they were – two old friends having an animated conversation. But there was more, and once again Arwen thought about the choices all of them had made.
She still remembered that fateful summer when Legolas and Aragorn, then still called his elven name Estel, had visited Lothlorien. Arwen had seen her foster brother before, but only as a child, and it was during that summer that the elf maiden fell in love with Aragorn. She soon acknowledged her feelings, but also before long found out that Aragorn's heart was given to the young prince from Mirkwood. She had a flash of foresight that summer, and saw herself with three children as the Queen of Gondor, but also Legolas and Aragorn still as a couple. And it was in that night that she made her choice, to become Aragorn's wife and the mother of his children, but in the certain knowledge that she would not gain Aragorn's heart. He would care for her and respect her, but his heart was given.
For several years, she had kept her decision to herself. She saw Aragorn grow from an inexperienced youngster to a leader of men. He roamed the lands as a ranger, served in Gondor's army and became an ally and confidante of Mithrandir. Occasionally, Arwen would see Aragorn, when he visited Lothlorien or Imladris. Her feelings for him deepened over time, and one evening she decided to tell him of her choice.
-o-o-o-
30 years earlier.
It was late on a cold, windy evening in Imladris. Arwen and Aragorn were enjoying some quiet time talking and reading in front of a lit fire in the family's common room. Elrond was still working in his study, Elrohir was out with some friends. Arwen noticed after a while that Estel was not concentrating on his reading, but was staring into the fire.
"What is it, Estel?" Unconsciously Aragorn's childhood name escaped Arwen's mouth.
Aragorn looked up, and focused his gaze on her. Yet again the depth of his silvery-grey eyes struck her. But at this moment, there was much sadness in these eyes.
"I miss him."
"Who? Legolas?"
"Yes. It is two years again that I have seen him last. I wish… "
Aragorn stopped, and shook his head. He had known for many years that he and Legolas would not be able to bond, they both had other, pressing responsibilities and duties. Legolas was Thranduil's heir and whilst the king finally accepted their relationship, it was on the understanding that they would not bond, which would forever close the door for Legolas to go to the Undying Lands, or to have his own family in the distant future.
Aragorn, too, had to accept that he could not bond to a male. In the world of men this was completely unacceptable. As he was the only person of his bloodline left, he reluctantly accepted the possibility that one day he might be king, and would have to marry a women to have heirs.
But deep down, Aragorn still rebelled against his fate. He was deeply committed to Legolas; they had been together for more than fifty years. But there had been many and sometimes lengthy separations, and currently was one such time.
Arwen looked at the shadowed eyes of her foster brother. "Estel… you have known long that I care more for you than just a brother. Do you think … do you think you could live with me?"
Estel was stunned. "Arwen! You know that I could never give you what you seek. You cannot do that. You could never take a ship to the West! I have accepted that one day I will have to marry a woman, but I hope that it will be someone who does not care for me much. I do expect nothing from such a union, if it results in children, my duty is done."
Arwen's deep blue eyes sought those of the man. "Aragorn … Estel, I could give you much more than that. I know well that I will never hold your heart, and yes, there have been times when this has pained me greatly. And yet, what I could offer you is not so little – I could be a friend for you and Legolas, and the mother of your children. Don't you know that if you marry another you would not be able to see Legolas?"
Aragorn looked up. "Of course I know. This is one of the many reasons why I have no desire to become King of Gondor. I will not lie to you, Arwen. I love you dearly, you know that. But as a sister, not a mate."
He sighed. "The price you would pay is far too high. Your offer is too generous – I cannot accccept it."
Arwen got up and stood in front of Aragorn. "Before you reject my offer, think about it. What will you do if you have to marry another? What would Legolas do? I believe that he would go West, grieving for you. You could have many years together, with my blessing."
They sat silent for a while, Aragorn looking down at his folded hands. Finally he looked up again."Why do you offer this? You would loose so much, and gain little…"
Arwen regarded him levelly. "Yes, and no." It was her turn to sigh. "Father has been pushing for some time now for me to take a ship to the West. He fears the future of these lands, and what it will do to our people. I have always wanted children, since I looked after you as a toddler. Many elves never have that experience, it triggered something inside me. I have a deep yearning to hold my own children. If I go to the West, this door is forever closed, I have foreseen it. But if I stay with you, we will have a family and I could stay here a little while longer. And I would share these years with you, even if it would be just as a friend rather than a true mate. The price is high, I know this. But this is my choice, and I have made it years ago, if you let me."
Aragorn shook his head. "Arwen, this is a dream. It cannot work."
-o-o-o-
They had left it at that. A few months later, Arwen saw Legolas in Lothlorien. King Thranduil had sent the young elf as a messenger. Arwen took the opportunity to get to know Legolas better. They had met before, but for many years Arwen had not been able to completely suppress a feeling of resentment towards the younger elf. After all, he had what she wanted – and yet Arwen knew, and grew to accept, that if there was going to be a future for herself at Aragorn's side, she would have to overcome any feelings of jealously and would have to truly accept Legolas as a friend.
She tried, and somewhat to her surprise, had not found it an onerous task. Although Legolas often appeared aloof, once he warmed up, he was an interested and interesting conversation partner. He was an accomplished warrior with a strong sense of honour, and a proud prince, and yet Arwen could feel the depth of his affection for Aragorn. Towards Arwen, Legolas was always impeccably polite and at times even charming, but never showed any interest that went beyond friendship.
Eventually Arwen told Legolas about her suggestion to Aragorn. The prince had been less surprised than she had expected. He told Arwen that his father had made a similar suggestion to him, as he regarded it as necessary for Legolas to marry and continue his line. Legolas had refused, but the compromise had been that Aragorn and Legolas had not bonded. This meant that in the future Legolas would be able to marry and have children, even if that would be centuries after Aragorn's inevitable death.
Somewhat to Arwen's surprise, Legolas had been more open to her suggestion than her foster brother. Raised as a prince and well versed in strategic thinking, he was used to regarding a situation from all angles, and to sacrifice personal happiness if matters of the realm required it. Aragorn would be king, and he would have to accept the burdens of kingship. Legolas knew that this most likely included a wife not of his choosing; therefore Arwen's suggestion was not as unthinkable to Legolas as it had appeared to Aragorn. And Legolas knew that Aragorn cared for Arwen, even if it was in a brotherly fashion. But this was much more than many royalty could expect. Legolas had been honest with Arwen, he had told her that such an arrangement would be hard for all of them, and yet, there was much sense in it.
And then came the war of the ring. The evening before their departure, Arwen had given the Evenstar pendant to Aragorn. He had not wanted to accept it, and told her again that her vision was a dream. Yet she had not gone to Valinor, and had seen Aragorn lead the armies of man to victory. Elrond told Aragorn that she had not sailed West and had been very ill. On his coronation day, he had been overjoyed to see her alive and well.
That day had been hardest for Legolas, and Arwen still regretted the pain that it had caused the younger elf. He had made it through the day valiantly, looking ethereally beautifully in his silver royal clothes. And yet, just beneath the surface there had been tears. She had seen it, and so had Aragorn and Gimli. Legolas had stayed for the festivities as briefly as he could without being impolite, and then had left for Ithilien. They had not seen him for a year.
This first year of their marriage had been hard. Aragorn grieved for Legolas, as a lover, but also as a friend and companion. The physical aspects of matrimony were clearly more a chore than a pleasure for Aragorn, although he was always gentle and considerate of Arwen's needs.
Then Legolas returned. He had not looked well, even after the war he had not appeared as thin and drawn. He brought several of his people with him, and they replanted and renewed Minas Tirith's gardens. Gimli had brought some of his people to repair the damage to the stone work in the city. As the city and its people recovered from the long years of darkness, Arwen made it her task to allow Aragorn and Legolas to heal.
As close family friends, both Gimli and Legolas had rooms near the royal chambers. Arwen made sure that Aragorn and Legolas had time to themselves, without interference from friends or duties. At first, she had found that difficult, but when she saw how much happier Aragorn and Legolas were, and that Legolas regained his natural inner glow, she was pleased for them. By this time she had developed a deep respect and liking for the young prince, she knew what he meant to Aragorn; and also that her husband would not have returned from the war, had it not been for Legolas.
Eventually she discovered she was pregnant. Aragorn was overjoyed, and Legolas treated her even more carefully than before. She sensed his fascination, not many elves gave birth now, every child was a small miracle and cherished as such. When Eldarion was born, both Aragorn and Legolas were present.
Somehow, since that time, their somewhat unusual living arrangements had fallen into place. Legolas visited often, and during these times, Arwen gave Aragorn and Legolas all the space they needed. No one ever thought any ill about the king spending much time with his old friend.
Legolas also became a cherished friend to Arwen, who provided her at times with the elven company that she missed. She had not anticipated how difficult it would be to live amongst mortals permanently. There were times when she sought the company of the young prince, they would wander outside in the gardens, often in silence, and sometimes she would simply turn and bury her face in his chest. He smelled of the forests and spring, and something else, uniquely elven. Not even her love for Aragorn could dim the enjoyment of these moments. Legolas would close his arms around her and she would feel comforted in a way that Aragorn could not provide. Aragorn knew this and did not mind if she shared these brief times with Legolas.
Over time, Aragorn's affection for Arwen deepened, and if he did not love her in the same measure as he loved Legolas, Arwen was certain that she did possess part of his heart – and neither Aragorn or Legolas begrudged that.
-o-o-o-
With a smile, Arwen focused again on the present and the scene unfolding below. "Ada! Uncle Legolas!" A small dark-haired bundle threw itself at Aragorn. The king caught his son and lifted him up high. Eldarion squealed with delight. After a brief moment, Aragorn dropped his arms, and Eldarion into Legolas' arms. Arwen could see the smile on the prince's face, and the child's laughter rang like crystal through the thin air.
All was well.
-o-o-o-
The End
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