Disclaimer: I do not own the CATS Video or any of its characters. However, I do own this story in its non-profit entirety. Similarities to other works are merely coincidental.
A Year In The Life of Mistoffelees, Conjuring Extraordinaire
Written By Stanza
3. March
March 2
March is here, bringing lots of rain. Most Jellicles hate this month. Now I realize why. I'm not a big fan of having a bath either, even if it is free. My den, the drainpipe, seems unusually cozy at this time, especially since I lined it with blankets.
March 3
I only left the drainpipe to hunt for breakfast and lunch. Those two annoying but lovable brothers, Tumblebrutus and Pouncival, stopped by this afternoon. The first thing they did was shake the water on their fur off onto me. Charming. Then they made up for it by producing mice they'd caught for us to share as dinner. For some reason, my den seemed so much more roomy, even with three toms inside it. I slowly roasted the mice with a magical fire, and then we ate them and talked about everything in general. Tumblebrutus is most definitely in love - he was gushing about Etcetera. Curse these stupid hormones.
March 5
It stopped raining! Hooray! The Jellicles all joined in a celebratory dance, singing and laughing. I suspect Tugger was on catnip or something like that, because he became tipsy (but not much more tipsy than usual, hehe) and told silly stories about queens to Tumble, Pounciekins, and I. Ex-queenfriends, I suppose.
March 8
THE RAIN IS AT IT AGAIN!!! I can't stand it.
March 9
Thunderstorm in the junkyard! Skimbleshanks sniffed it out, and we all huddled in our dens. Demeter was particularly frightened, because I guess the lightning reminded her of Macavity. Even on the other side of the junkyard, I could hear her scared sobs and Munkustrap's reassurances.
March 12
After a quick succession of thunderstorms, the worst is over, I believe. I'm sorry if I haven't written in this book for a while, but I was afraid the rain would wash away the ink again. I really have to find a pencil.
Jennyanydots and Jellylorum declared that today was a Hunt Day. Hunt Days are when we have to pay a visit to the Dump to search for discarded knicknacks the tribe can put to some use. The junkyard we currently inhabit is deserted and has been unused for years, but the Dump is only a few minutes away and currently in use by the humans of London. It's astounding what the Dump has been known to turn up. For instance, Skimbleshanks once found a grill, which I fixed up for him with a few simple spells and he uses sometimes. Today, Electra discovered (with much triumphant yelling) an old children's picture book. I, who have learned to read, told them truthfully it was a story called 'Cinderella', a famous folk tale. So now she's trumpeting her "superior findings" around the junkyard. I wish I had earplugs.
March 15
I once read in a book that today is called the March of Ides because it's the middle of March and the day a man called Julius Caesar died. He was a bigshot, I found out, who thought himself descended from the gods and announced he was the supreme ruler of a place called Rome. Weird names, huh? I told this to the other kittens, and they looked at me like I was insane. Then Etcetera looked suspicious. Uh-oh! I think she's found out that I can read and write and will probably investigate the situation. I have to stop writing in this for a while!
March 20
Phew! False alarm again. Cettie just thought I was hiding books. I'm only hiding one - this book - but she thought I had a whole library or something crazy like that! She actually had to look through my drainpipe. Luckily, I'd hidden this journal wisely away from my den; a place, I've already said, I shall not disclose. Thank Bast. I don't know what I would do if anyone found out! Especially Etcetera - she'd blab it to everybody in the junkyard, and that includes Victoria! What would I do then?!
Even though I've put a charm on this book so no one can open it except me, I'm still paranoid.
March 21
The tails of the other kittens and I were nearly bored off of our behinds when Skimbleshanks saw fit to tell us one of his looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong stories that always end with us snoring. Even with my magical powers I can't resist the sleep-inducing tones of his voice! This time he was saying something about his great-aunt's cousin's mate's third cousin's human's friend's Jellicle who...and I lost myself there.
March 25
Oh happy day. Literally. Skimbleshanks told no stories, Jennyanydots wanted no beetles, and the sky poured no rain! It was sunny and warm - and dry! Everyone danced around in celebration again. Even the mice we caught for meals tasted better than usual.
March 27
"Jellicle cats, come out today
Jellicle cats, enjoy the sun
The sky's warm as the month of May
Delight in it till the day is done"
I felt like inventing some poetry today. I don't know why. Perhaps it is because today is just like the one described in my little poem, which can be sung to the tune of The Invitation To The Jellicle Ball, which I sang last year with Victoria. Sigh...that was very nice. Especially when she smiled at me.
March 30
Since it was so pleasant and sunny and warm, the kittens went on a little adventure to the Pond, which is located a few yards away from the Dump. We've watched the older Jellicles fish in it expertly, and it never looked hard, so we tried it. It is most definitely more difficult than it seems! We all fell in the water at least once, but eventually everyone caught a fish. Pouncival fell in ten times - I counted - and caught a mere minnow. Jemima, the shy one, caught a trout! She was the envy of all the quittens, and they shared it for supper. We toms had...nothing, seeing as we put our fish back in the water, so we had to hunt. We ended up with several mice, though, and gave three of them to Skimbleshanks to grill for the senior "cat"izens, which includes him, Jennyanydots, Jellylorum, Asparagus, Gus, and Old Deuteronomy.
I swear, the big den the quittens share (HOW CAN QUITTENS LIVE IN THE SAME PLACE?! Pouncie and Tumble are brothers and they don't share a den!) positively reeks of fish.
Sorry if this chapter is a little dull. Thanks to the 4 people that reviewed this story so nicely!
Mystitat - No, I did not invent the term "quittens". It's pretty much known by almost everybody, and means "kittens on the verge of becoming queens". I'm sorry he didn't end up kissing Victoria either, but that will be later in the story, hint-hint. I'm sure Jemima is pleased also. .
Nabooru - Aw, thanks.
Jemima-luvah - That's so sweet of you. Yes, it would be rather funny if Vicki found Misto's diary. Thanks for the good idea! Perhaps I'll use it....
Chimalmaht - March is up! Wow, thanks for reviewing me twice! I really appreciate it. And thanks also for your compliment on how I did Valentine's Day. Eventually, Misto will get over his cowardliness, and yes, he will hold hands (or paws, your choice) with her.