I'd just like to take this opportunity to tell you all that I don't necessarily endorse any couplings that I use in this fanfic. I may or may not support the couples that I use so don't jump to conclusions. Also, you should know that whatever couple you like... those are the ones I like. And those couples you hate... I hate them, too. And that's why you should give me a bunch of reviews.
Oh, and I should have more time to update seeing as how I just lost my job. Yay!
-Hizzy
______________________________________________________
Xavier did not particularly like Rogue's dream. He simply could not believe that she would dream about him being dead. Perhaps he would have to have a talk with her later. Or maybe he would just avoid her at all costs.
At any rate, he decided that the only way to make himself forget would be to watch another dream. And not just anyone's dream. Evan's dream. There was definitely something about Evan's dreams that made it easy to forget other things.
With his mind made up, the professor found his way into Evan's mind.
For a moment, there was a jumbled mess of incoherent [subliminal] thoughts and random advertisements. "|23\/!3\/\/ 7|-|!$ |=@|\||=!(....Drink Coca-Cola... 9!\/3 |-|122¥ /\/\0|\|3¥..." said the dream.
Soon the dream began to form and the first thing Xavier could see were two people walking. This very quickly evolved into something much more elaborate. Finally, it was clear. The people were Evan and Kurt and they were walking away from school in the direction of the institute.
Evan was thinking about what a good day he had been having. Absolutely nothing had gone wrong all day, without the slightest possibility of anything ruining it. He was so busy thinking about what a good day it was, that he didn't notice that he'd walked into well placed minefield. He didn't notice when Kurt tried to warn him of the danger or when Kurt finally gave up and transported him away from the explosives. He also didn't notice when a rabid dog stole his backpack and drank his milk. So it makes sense that he didn't notice when the dog decided to attack Kurt. Then heavy storm clouds covered the sky and rain began to pelt both of them. A bolt of lightening flashed from sky, narrowly missing the oblivious Evan and hit Kurt instead. Evan was in such a good mood, in fact, that he didn't even notice when the stock market crashed and he became bankrupt. Then the debt collectors started calling him, wanting money. When he didn't pay them, they sent people out to get him, but they mistakenly beat up Kurt instead.
Evan felt sorry for Kurt, who wasn't having as good a day as he was. But Kurt's bad luck was no reason for Evan to have a less wonderful day. Nothing could go wrong, he knew.
Just then, he ran into Pietro.
"Watch where you're going, Daniels!" Pietro snapped.
Evan couldn't believe his rotten luck. Of all the things that could have possibly gone wrong that day, he just HAD to run into him. His good mood completely vanished and he glared at Pietro. "You should watch where YOUR going!" Evan shot back.
Pietro glared back, "You ran into ME!"
"Oh yeah? Well, yo' mama!" retorted Evan. Pietro and Kurt stared at him but he stuck with his come back.
Pietro rolled his eyes, "I don't have time for this." Normally, he wouldn't mind getting into a fight with Evan, but he had a full schedule, which required him to get home in about fifteen seconds.
Evan smiled smugly as Pietro prepared to leave. He turned to Kurt and said, "See, I told you he was a wuss." He had never actually said such a thing. He had said it in his head, though, and that was close enough for him.
Any prior arrangements were forgotten as Pietro narrowed his eyes at Evan. "What was that, spike-boy?"
"Spike-boy!?" Evan wasn't as offended as he appeared. He actually liked the title. It made him sound like a super hero. At any rate, it was meant to be an insult and therefore he was enraged, "NObody calls me spike-boy."
"Yeah? What're you gonna do about it, spike-boy?" Pietro smirked at him, proud of his clever use of the new nickname, "You gonna fight me with your lame spike power?"
"My spikes are NOT lame!" Evan growled.
Pietro was beginning to have fun with the argument, "If there was an award for the world's dumbest mutant power you'd win it!" Little did they know, there WAS an award for world's dumbest mutant power. It was presented to a man from Guam who's mutant ability allowed him to control Skittles. Not any other types of candy...
just Skittles.
Evan scowled and paused while he tried to think of good insult, "Yeah... well... at least I don't act all girly like you!"
Angry flared inside of Pietro. He knew that he was as manly as anybody could come. And if wearing girl's panties wasn't considered manly, than he didn't know what was. Evan wouldn't get away with calling him girly. "How DARE you insult my manliness! That's the ONE thing I won't let people insult! You can make fun of the way I dress or the way I talk or my stamp collection... but NEVER my manliness! Why, I outta... I outta..." 'Quick, Pietro,' he thought, 'say something manly! What would sexy Lance say to him? Wait! I know!' "-I outta rock you!"
"What!?" Evan was more than a little confused.
'Ooh, dammit,' Pietro thought angrily,' this is Lance's fault for saying that all the time! If he didn't have such a nice ass I SO wouldn't be living with him anymore!' He noticed Evan was staring at him so he quickly tried to redeem himself, "I said you're stupid!" Pietro mentally kicked himself. Usually he was really good at quick come-backs but he had been so distracted thinking about Lance.
Nevertheless, Evan was very much offended, "Only a stupid person would call me stupid because I'm so NOT stupid!"
"Evan, just let it go," Kurt tried to reason with him, "We're going to be late for our training session."
"Forget the training session!" Evan turned back to Pietro, "There's only one way to solve this."
"Oh yeah?" Pietro smirked at him, "What's that?"
"A race!" both of the other boys didn't respond. They only stared at Evan, thinking that he couldn't possibly be serious. Evan assumed that they were speechless at his brilliant idea so he continued, "First one to the institute wins."
"You're even dumber than I thought!" Pietro snorted.
"We'll see who's dumb after you lose!" Evan replied smugly, "And the loser will have to go on a date with Tabitha."
"What's so bad about-" Pietro noticed Tabitha not far away.
She was surrounded by a group of people who were all chanting, "Chug! Chug! Chug!" As she chugged a large can of beer, then another. She finished up, crushed the can on her forehead, and belched loudly. The group of people cheered until Tabitha ran behind some bushes to vomit.
Pietro got a disgusted look across his face, then turned back to Evan, "You're on!"
Kurt pulled Evan to the side and whispered to him, "I don't think you've thought this through!"
"I know what I'm doing!" Evan pulled away from Kurt, "That slowpoke, Pietro doesn't stand a chance!"
Kurt stared at him blankly, "Um... Evan, I-"
"What's the holdup?" Pietro demanded impatiently, "Let's go!"
"Right!" Evan hurried away from Kurt and readied himself next to Pietro. They both glared at each other for a moment while they prepared themselves.
Finally, they were on their marks and Pietro said very quickly, "ReadysetGO!!" And with that he sped away at top speed, literally leaving Evan in the dust.
"Oh, crap! I forgot he could do that!" Evan gasped. Kurt slapped a hand to his face, wondering why exactly he hung out with Evan.
Meanwhile, Pietro had reached the institute. He looked behind him and saw that Evan was nowhere in site. He chuckled to himself. That'll teach him to not have superspeed. Then Pietro had a thought. It just wouldn't be the same if Evan didn't actually see him win. It was at this time that Pietro decided to wait for Evan to arrive before he won the race. If his calculations were correct, Evan would be arriving in two hours. But what would he do for two hours? He stifled a yawn while he thought. Perhaps he would just sit and wait for Evan to show up.
Pietro found a nice comfy spot under a shady tree and began the waiting. But he quickly realized it was very boring. Across the street he saw a herd of sheep and they were each jumping a fence one at a time. He decided to count the sheep. Maybe that would keep him awake.
"One... two... three... four..." he began. Nearby, a mother pushed a baby carriage and hummed Brahms's Lullaby. "Five... six... seven...eight..."
Three seconds later, Pietro was sound asleep.
At that some moment, elsewhere, Evan was going as fast as he could. There was absolutely no possible way for him to win, but he was determined. He kept running but soon realized that he was very slow. People kept pointing and laughing at his slowness. Regardless, he just kept running, and running, and running, and running...
_____
INTERMISSION
Pyro: [dressed as a flaming bucket of popcorn and singing] "Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby to get ourselves a treat!"
_____
and running, and running, and running. It had been over an hour and he still couldn't see the institute. He knew that he must have been close, though.
"Would you like some help?" Kurt, who hadn't moved from the same spot he was in when the race started, asked from several feet away.
Evan glared at him, "I'm almost there!" He continued running. Any time now he would lap Pietro. He just knew it.
Just then he noticed a snail passing him. It stuck it's tongue out him and disappeared into the distance. At that moment it occurred to Evan that he would probably lose.
"Why don't you just use your skateboard?" Kurt asked after about twenty minutes.
"That's cheating," Evan muttered, completely out of breath, "Can't you just bamf me there, or something?"
Kurt raised an eyebrow, "But isn't THAT cheating?"
"No," Evan said in annoyance, "It's only cheating if I use MY mutant ability. There's nothing wrong with me using YOUR mutant ability." Kurt shrugged and did as he was asked.
Seconds later, they were both transported to right outside the institutes gates, near where Pietro was still dozing. Kurt and Evan exchanged glances and nudged the other mutant. He woke up and seemed startled, not having realized that he had fallen asleep.
Once he had gathered his thoughts, he began to laugh at Evan, "Took you long enough! An hour and a half? Hmph, it's better than I gave you credit for. I got here in twelve seconds. I wanted to wait until you got here to win, just to see the look on your stupid face!" He continued laughing and taunting while Evan stared sadly at his feet.
Kurt looked thoughtful, "So... you haven't actually finished?"
Pietro snorted, "No, I told you, I waited for spike boy."
"Don't call me spike boy!" Evan shouted. Kurt elbowed him and whispered something into his ear. Evan still seemed seem to get it. Kurt whispered it again. Evan stared at him.
"He hasn't finished the race yet!" Kurt yelled, "Touch the gate!" Evan still seemed confused but touched the institute's gate anyway.
Shock and dismay crossed Pietro's face, finally realizing that he indeed had not finished the race and had now lost the race. Evan still didn't know what was going on. He looked confusedly at Kurt, inquiring as to why Pietro was shouting naughty words.
"You won the race," Kurt said flatly.
Evan blinked a couple of times. He looked from Kurt to Pietro to the gate to the snail and finally registered the information. At that he began the shameless taunting of Pietro.
"Haha! You lose! I win! In yer face!" He stuck out his tongue and made confusing hand gestures, "Now you have to go on a date with Tabitha!"
"No," Pietro muttered, finally gathering enough self control to feel degraded.
"But.. but," Evan sputtered, "That was our deal!"
Pietro thought for a moment, "Nope, actually our deal was that the winner has to come to school naked tomorrow."
"It was not!" At least Evan didn't think so. He couldn't quite remember. Although, it did seem like the kind of deal he would make.
"According to this contract it is," Pietro said and pulled out a very official looking piece paper, which read:
'I, the winner, here to solemnly swear to come to school naked tomorrow because I'm a stupid jerk and shouldn't have won, anyway.'
At the bottom was signed Evan's name, in Pietro's handwriting.
Evan inspected the contract. It was very official looking and it appeared that he had signed it. He sighed, "Well, I guess I can't argue with a contract."
_____
Xavier quickly pulled himself out of Evan's dream, afraid that it might move on to the next day at school. And while he was glad that the dream involved himself in no way, it would be best to repress the memory of the dream ever having occurred. And so let us never speak of it again.
__________________________________________________________
End: Evan's Dream.
A little background information: this was actually the very first idea I had for this story. I had thought "Wouldn't it be interesting to have a parody of The Tortoise and the Hare, with Pietro and Evan?" Especially since Evan kinda looks like a tortoise after his powers go all funky and Pietro's hair kinda looks like bunny ears. Teehee... And that was when I decided to write it into a fanfic and then thought, while I was at it, I'd do a buncha other parodies. ^____^ Hooray for random ideas!
And thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You make this all worthwhile. My life revolves around you. I wish for each and every one of you to marry me.
Oh, and I should have more time to update seeing as how I just lost my job. Yay!
-Hizzy
______________________________________________________
Xavier did not particularly like Rogue's dream. He simply could not believe that she would dream about him being dead. Perhaps he would have to have a talk with her later. Or maybe he would just avoid her at all costs.
At any rate, he decided that the only way to make himself forget would be to watch another dream. And not just anyone's dream. Evan's dream. There was definitely something about Evan's dreams that made it easy to forget other things.
With his mind made up, the professor found his way into Evan's mind.
For a moment, there was a jumbled mess of incoherent [subliminal] thoughts and random advertisements. "|23\/!3\/\/ 7|-|!$ |=@|\||=!(....Drink Coca-Cola... 9!\/3 |-|122¥ /\/\0|\|3¥..." said the dream.
Soon the dream began to form and the first thing Xavier could see were two people walking. This very quickly evolved into something much more elaborate. Finally, it was clear. The people were Evan and Kurt and they were walking away from school in the direction of the institute.
Evan was thinking about what a good day he had been having. Absolutely nothing had gone wrong all day, without the slightest possibility of anything ruining it. He was so busy thinking about what a good day it was, that he didn't notice that he'd walked into well placed minefield. He didn't notice when Kurt tried to warn him of the danger or when Kurt finally gave up and transported him away from the explosives. He also didn't notice when a rabid dog stole his backpack and drank his milk. So it makes sense that he didn't notice when the dog decided to attack Kurt. Then heavy storm clouds covered the sky and rain began to pelt both of them. A bolt of lightening flashed from sky, narrowly missing the oblivious Evan and hit Kurt instead. Evan was in such a good mood, in fact, that he didn't even notice when the stock market crashed and he became bankrupt. Then the debt collectors started calling him, wanting money. When he didn't pay them, they sent people out to get him, but they mistakenly beat up Kurt instead.
Evan felt sorry for Kurt, who wasn't having as good a day as he was. But Kurt's bad luck was no reason for Evan to have a less wonderful day. Nothing could go wrong, he knew.
Just then, he ran into Pietro.
"Watch where you're going, Daniels!" Pietro snapped.
Evan couldn't believe his rotten luck. Of all the things that could have possibly gone wrong that day, he just HAD to run into him. His good mood completely vanished and he glared at Pietro. "You should watch where YOUR going!" Evan shot back.
Pietro glared back, "You ran into ME!"
"Oh yeah? Well, yo' mama!" retorted Evan. Pietro and Kurt stared at him but he stuck with his come back.
Pietro rolled his eyes, "I don't have time for this." Normally, he wouldn't mind getting into a fight with Evan, but he had a full schedule, which required him to get home in about fifteen seconds.
Evan smiled smugly as Pietro prepared to leave. He turned to Kurt and said, "See, I told you he was a wuss." He had never actually said such a thing. He had said it in his head, though, and that was close enough for him.
Any prior arrangements were forgotten as Pietro narrowed his eyes at Evan. "What was that, spike-boy?"
"Spike-boy!?" Evan wasn't as offended as he appeared. He actually liked the title. It made him sound like a super hero. At any rate, it was meant to be an insult and therefore he was enraged, "NObody calls me spike-boy."
"Yeah? What're you gonna do about it, spike-boy?" Pietro smirked at him, proud of his clever use of the new nickname, "You gonna fight me with your lame spike power?"
"My spikes are NOT lame!" Evan growled.
Pietro was beginning to have fun with the argument, "If there was an award for the world's dumbest mutant power you'd win it!" Little did they know, there WAS an award for world's dumbest mutant power. It was presented to a man from Guam who's mutant ability allowed him to control Skittles. Not any other types of candy...
just Skittles.
Evan scowled and paused while he tried to think of good insult, "Yeah... well... at least I don't act all girly like you!"
Angry flared inside of Pietro. He knew that he was as manly as anybody could come. And if wearing girl's panties wasn't considered manly, than he didn't know what was. Evan wouldn't get away with calling him girly. "How DARE you insult my manliness! That's the ONE thing I won't let people insult! You can make fun of the way I dress or the way I talk or my stamp collection... but NEVER my manliness! Why, I outta... I outta..." 'Quick, Pietro,' he thought, 'say something manly! What would sexy Lance say to him? Wait! I know!' "-I outta rock you!"
"What!?" Evan was more than a little confused.
'Ooh, dammit,' Pietro thought angrily,' this is Lance's fault for saying that all the time! If he didn't have such a nice ass I SO wouldn't be living with him anymore!' He noticed Evan was staring at him so he quickly tried to redeem himself, "I said you're stupid!" Pietro mentally kicked himself. Usually he was really good at quick come-backs but he had been so distracted thinking about Lance.
Nevertheless, Evan was very much offended, "Only a stupid person would call me stupid because I'm so NOT stupid!"
"Evan, just let it go," Kurt tried to reason with him, "We're going to be late for our training session."
"Forget the training session!" Evan turned back to Pietro, "There's only one way to solve this."
"Oh yeah?" Pietro smirked at him, "What's that?"
"A race!" both of the other boys didn't respond. They only stared at Evan, thinking that he couldn't possibly be serious. Evan assumed that they were speechless at his brilliant idea so he continued, "First one to the institute wins."
"You're even dumber than I thought!" Pietro snorted.
"We'll see who's dumb after you lose!" Evan replied smugly, "And the loser will have to go on a date with Tabitha."
"What's so bad about-" Pietro noticed Tabitha not far away.
She was surrounded by a group of people who were all chanting, "Chug! Chug! Chug!" As she chugged a large can of beer, then another. She finished up, crushed the can on her forehead, and belched loudly. The group of people cheered until Tabitha ran behind some bushes to vomit.
Pietro got a disgusted look across his face, then turned back to Evan, "You're on!"
Kurt pulled Evan to the side and whispered to him, "I don't think you've thought this through!"
"I know what I'm doing!" Evan pulled away from Kurt, "That slowpoke, Pietro doesn't stand a chance!"
Kurt stared at him blankly, "Um... Evan, I-"
"What's the holdup?" Pietro demanded impatiently, "Let's go!"
"Right!" Evan hurried away from Kurt and readied himself next to Pietro. They both glared at each other for a moment while they prepared themselves.
Finally, they were on their marks and Pietro said very quickly, "ReadysetGO!!" And with that he sped away at top speed, literally leaving Evan in the dust.
"Oh, crap! I forgot he could do that!" Evan gasped. Kurt slapped a hand to his face, wondering why exactly he hung out with Evan.
Meanwhile, Pietro had reached the institute. He looked behind him and saw that Evan was nowhere in site. He chuckled to himself. That'll teach him to not have superspeed. Then Pietro had a thought. It just wouldn't be the same if Evan didn't actually see him win. It was at this time that Pietro decided to wait for Evan to arrive before he won the race. If his calculations were correct, Evan would be arriving in two hours. But what would he do for two hours? He stifled a yawn while he thought. Perhaps he would just sit and wait for Evan to show up.
Pietro found a nice comfy spot under a shady tree and began the waiting. But he quickly realized it was very boring. Across the street he saw a herd of sheep and they were each jumping a fence one at a time. He decided to count the sheep. Maybe that would keep him awake.
"One... two... three... four..." he began. Nearby, a mother pushed a baby carriage and hummed Brahms's Lullaby. "Five... six... seven...eight..."
Three seconds later, Pietro was sound asleep.
At that some moment, elsewhere, Evan was going as fast as he could. There was absolutely no possible way for him to win, but he was determined. He kept running but soon realized that he was very slow. People kept pointing and laughing at his slowness. Regardless, he just kept running, and running, and running, and running...
_____
INTERMISSION
Pyro: [dressed as a flaming bucket of popcorn and singing] "Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby to get ourselves a treat!"
_____
and running, and running, and running. It had been over an hour and he still couldn't see the institute. He knew that he must have been close, though.
"Would you like some help?" Kurt, who hadn't moved from the same spot he was in when the race started, asked from several feet away.
Evan glared at him, "I'm almost there!" He continued running. Any time now he would lap Pietro. He just knew it.
Just then he noticed a snail passing him. It stuck it's tongue out him and disappeared into the distance. At that moment it occurred to Evan that he would probably lose.
"Why don't you just use your skateboard?" Kurt asked after about twenty minutes.
"That's cheating," Evan muttered, completely out of breath, "Can't you just bamf me there, or something?"
Kurt raised an eyebrow, "But isn't THAT cheating?"
"No," Evan said in annoyance, "It's only cheating if I use MY mutant ability. There's nothing wrong with me using YOUR mutant ability." Kurt shrugged and did as he was asked.
Seconds later, they were both transported to right outside the institutes gates, near where Pietro was still dozing. Kurt and Evan exchanged glances and nudged the other mutant. He woke up and seemed startled, not having realized that he had fallen asleep.
Once he had gathered his thoughts, he began to laugh at Evan, "Took you long enough! An hour and a half? Hmph, it's better than I gave you credit for. I got here in twelve seconds. I wanted to wait until you got here to win, just to see the look on your stupid face!" He continued laughing and taunting while Evan stared sadly at his feet.
Kurt looked thoughtful, "So... you haven't actually finished?"
Pietro snorted, "No, I told you, I waited for spike boy."
"Don't call me spike boy!" Evan shouted. Kurt elbowed him and whispered something into his ear. Evan still seemed seem to get it. Kurt whispered it again. Evan stared at him.
"He hasn't finished the race yet!" Kurt yelled, "Touch the gate!" Evan still seemed confused but touched the institute's gate anyway.
Shock and dismay crossed Pietro's face, finally realizing that he indeed had not finished the race and had now lost the race. Evan still didn't know what was going on. He looked confusedly at Kurt, inquiring as to why Pietro was shouting naughty words.
"You won the race," Kurt said flatly.
Evan blinked a couple of times. He looked from Kurt to Pietro to the gate to the snail and finally registered the information. At that he began the shameless taunting of Pietro.
"Haha! You lose! I win! In yer face!" He stuck out his tongue and made confusing hand gestures, "Now you have to go on a date with Tabitha!"
"No," Pietro muttered, finally gathering enough self control to feel degraded.
"But.. but," Evan sputtered, "That was our deal!"
Pietro thought for a moment, "Nope, actually our deal was that the winner has to come to school naked tomorrow."
"It was not!" At least Evan didn't think so. He couldn't quite remember. Although, it did seem like the kind of deal he would make.
"According to this contract it is," Pietro said and pulled out a very official looking piece paper, which read:
'I, the winner, here to solemnly swear to come to school naked tomorrow because I'm a stupid jerk and shouldn't have won, anyway.'
At the bottom was signed Evan's name, in Pietro's handwriting.
Evan inspected the contract. It was very official looking and it appeared that he had signed it. He sighed, "Well, I guess I can't argue with a contract."
_____
Xavier quickly pulled himself out of Evan's dream, afraid that it might move on to the next day at school. And while he was glad that the dream involved himself in no way, it would be best to repress the memory of the dream ever having occurred. And so let us never speak of it again.
__________________________________________________________
End: Evan's Dream.
A little background information: this was actually the very first idea I had for this story. I had thought "Wouldn't it be interesting to have a parody of The Tortoise and the Hare, with Pietro and Evan?" Especially since Evan kinda looks like a tortoise after his powers go all funky and Pietro's hair kinda looks like bunny ears. Teehee... And that was when I decided to write it into a fanfic and then thought, while I was at it, I'd do a buncha other parodies. ^____^ Hooray for random ideas!
And thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You make this all worthwhile. My life revolves around you. I wish for each and every one of you to marry me.