The Song: Velvet Revolver - Fall To Pieces (omg! I loe this SONG)
Warnings: Contains character deaths and possible spoilers for later eps!
Notes: So, like, I was sitting there, listening to this song on repeat (they are SO my new favorite badn!) and, like, this hit me. And I had to write it! Omg! This is my first BG fic ever, so please be nice! And I LOVE the new BSG!
This indicates song lyrics
The Title: Walking Wounded
The Author: me!
It's been a long year
Since you've been gone
She doesn't like to think about the accident, doesn't like to remember Zack.
There are flashes in her head of him, the way he smiled, the way he smelt, the way his body moved when it touched her.
I've been alone here
I've grown old
When she's in the cockpit, flying in the vastness of space, she can forget, for brief time.
There's sheer panic and terror and adrenaline, and they blot everything out.
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling
Lee sometimes likes to tell her she's insane.
She knows he's right.
Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
It started with the cigarette that fracking ass had the gaul to hand her. She wasn't smoking it for pleasure, slumped in her rack alone. And, for just a moment, she ran it down the inside of her arm.
The burn was almost pleasant.
I keep a journal of memories
I'm feeling lonely, I can't breathe
Telling Adama, having to remember it all, made the buzzing worse. The need worse. And there weren't any who would have her anymore.
Cracking the asses of the rookies was pointless, so she ended up in the little-used nook with her hand down her pants and the knife dragging along her skin.
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling
There wasn't blood the first time. She was careful, because she still had to fly, still had to interact.
It took time to figure out the best ways and means, time to make the cuts just right, shallow and perfect, the pain skittering along her nerves and providing a blessed silence against the doubt.
All the years I've tried
With more to go
She isn't perfect, she has to remind herself after tearing down the rookies on their flights. Can never be perfect. Not after what she did to him.
Will the memories die
I'm waiting
There's been no one else, she wants to tell him when she dies. No one else, because I couldn't replace you.
But he'll know the truth. That she was a slut and a whore, a liar and a cheat while she threw herself away from him. Buried herself in something that was transitory to lose something that was worth a lifetime.
"I don't want you to lie for me."
Will I find you
Can I find you
She's so lost without him that she finally breaks. At 1200, on the 96th day since the Cylon attack, she finds her little personal hell, settles down, and opens a vein.
It's the wrong vein for her normal activities, but she's exhausted and past caring.
She wants Zack, and there's only one way to find him now.
We're falling down
I'm falling
Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace is what the headstone would have read, she thinks fuzzily as life begins to fade. If they'd had graves now, if there were room.
The blackness closes, and she wonders who would get the flag draping her coffin.
-f-