Disclaimer: Buffy and friends belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Not me.
Timeline: Season 3, before Faith's introduction. Oh, and Xander and Cordelia didn't get back together after Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.
"Xander Harris," Mayor Wilkens muttered in disgust.. "Alexander LaVille fucking Harris."
He again scanned over the dossier detailing everything that made Xander who he was: His race, blood type, religion, ancestry, nationality, marital status (single), income level, likes & dislikes, height, weight, taste in movies & music and political affiliation.
"What I don't understand," the Mayor mused to his empty office, "is what this boy is doing in the Slayer's little clique. Rosenburg's into the whole 'magic powers' thing, Angel's a good fighter and a vampire to boot, Oz is a goddamn Werewolf and Xander is…what, aside from being your average Suburban McWhitey? He's just a regular guy without a gimmick. You see, you have something that sets you apart from the rest of the crowd these days. Take the rap world for example. Dr. Dre is a physician, Fifty Cent's been shot a lot, Snoop Dogg actually looks a bit like a dog and Insane Clown Posse says the world will end after their fifth- or was it the sixth- album will be released.. Now, one could claim that, following a superficial appraisal, that Eminem is just a regular guy, and is thus a dues-paying member of the Regular Joe Society our friend Xander likewise belongs to. However, Eminem is unique in that he as a Caucasian has achieved success in a music field that is predominantly African-American. To again use the industry of the rap industry, Xander is the equilivant of yet anther wannabe bad boy singing songs of bitches and bling-bling set to stale-ass beats."
Mayor Wilkens picked up the remote control and pushed one of its many buttons. The wooden cabinet opposite his desk swung aside to reveal a row of television monitors. Another button was pressed and screens lit up and began playing the footage. One after the other they began displaying black-and-white footage of the Sunnydale High school library. A team of technicians had edited the footage to show all the meetings of the Slayer and her allies the last few months. Mayor Wilkens watched, nodding as again and again he noted Xander's behaviour: sitting around and cracking stupid (and unfunny) jokes while Buffy, Giles, Willow, Oz, occasionally Angel planned strategy and researched whatever monster of the week was threatening Sunnydale. Hell, even Cordelia was a bigger help than Xander, the Mayor noticed- and that was saying a lot.
"I thus conclude," Mayor Wilkins said as he flicked of the screens, "that Xander is very much the fifth wheel to the Scoobies' Mystery Machine and constitutes a drain on their time and resources by contributing little or nothing to their team effort. While I may be better served by letting him live and thereby hampering their efficiency, by having him killed I:
A) Rid myself of an enemy- always a good thing regardless of their competency and
B) Send a message to the Slayer and her friends. Namely: Fuck off and don't interfere with my ascension." He pushed the desk's intercom button. Mr. Trick's voice came out from a nearby speaker shortly after.
"What can for you, sir?"
"Has our guest arrived?"
There was a pause. Naturally. Plague vampires weren't well liked by their brethren.
"He should be arriving at the airport shortly, sir."
"Good. I want you to meet him there." The Mayor could feel Trick cringing. "You are to provide him with the material I gave you: Pictures, maps of routes, files. the whole shebang." The mayor turned of the intercom and went over to his personal wine cabinet. He poured himself a glass, sat down and raised a glass in a solitary toast.
"Xander Harris, we hardly knew ye…"
&$#
"Found it," Willow said triumphantly as she jogged back to the gang, ancient textbook in hand. "Listen to this: The Belkor are a tribe of demons older than recorded history who have managed to survive to the present day. In order to sustain their bodies, they steal the life energy from young humans and take on their appearance and attempt to live out their victim's life."
"That would explain why so many students have been behaving strangely lately," Giles observed.
"Does it say how to identify a Belkor in it's human form?," Buffy asked.
"You could always try checking for dentures and cynical mutterings about 'the good old days'," Xander wisecracked. Willow rolled her eyes and Giles groaned. Buffy's left eye began to twitch.
"Er, moving on, what does the rest of the text say, Willow?" Giles asked.
"It says Belkors in human form often tend to congregate with others similar to themselves," the red-haired witch read.
"'Others similar to themselves'? Could that sentence be any more vague? It could refer to almost anything" Giles said.
"We could always check the local old-folks home," Xander suggested . That did it.
"Ok, raise your hand if you've had all the Xander Harris you can take for one day," Buffy said through clenched teeth. She and Willow immediately did, followed by an embarrassed-looking Giles. Xander suddenly wished he'd kept quiet.
"Buffy, look, I'm sorry, ok? You don't need-"
"No, I'm sorry Xander…for putting up with you all day. The grownups are working and you are getting in their way. Just…go home, Xander. We'll figure what to do with you later." Xander looked to his other friends.
"Giles? Willow? A little support here? Tell her I'm sorry, ok? Let's go back to like it was before."
"Only that's what we're trying to get away from," Buffy commented.
"What?"
"Sorry Xander," Willow said slowly, taking care to choose the best words. "But we've go to stop these demons and having you around…isn't really the best way to doing that."
"I'm sorry Xander but she does have a point. Indeed, I've noticed that our meetings are substantially more productive when you're not around," Giles said casually, taking off his glasses and rubbing them with a cloth. Xander felt a dark anger building within him. They'd meetings without telling him? Then that meant…
"There's been meetings without me? That you've never tell me about?" Willow and Giles nodded. Xander's fist clenched. "Do any of you understand what that says to me?" He asked.
" News flash, Mr. Zeppo: The world doesn't revolve around you," Buffy said. "Now," she thrust a single fingernail towards the library entrance, her face twisted in a mean snarl not unlike that of a witch Halloween mask. "Out," she hissed.
&$#
Having been late afternoon when Xander joined the meeting, night had fallen y the time he left the school, Homeward bound. No one was around, not a car in the streets. Streetlights cast pale yellow haloes on the sidewalks Xander was using. He couldn't believe how long it had taken for the scales to fall from his eyes and realize how secondary he was to the Slayer and her friends. Her friends. Willow and he had been inseperable once but now…
"Goddamn Buffy…fills Willow's head with lies and bullshit…turns her against me…,"Xander cursed, kicking a pebble across the street. Was this the end of him and Buffy? Not romantically, of course. Angel had seen to that. Goddamn dead boy. He and I will settle our account someday. Count on it, Xander vowed mentally.
Buffy had said they'd 'figure out what to do with him.' What did that mean, anyway?
"Guess that's how it goes for those of us not lucky enough to have superpowers."
"Excuse me," a voice said from behind him. It belonged to a dark, well-dressed gentleman in a black suit whose yellow eyes surveyed Xander hungrily. His figure was tall and thin. His posture suggested grace, power and charm: a deadly combination
"Are you Xander Harris?"
"Yeah."
"Splendid." The mysterious stranger's right arm shot out and punched Xander in the face. The teen stumbled backwards, having been caught off guard by the blow.
"Mayor Wilkins sends his regards," the stranger said as he removed his top hat to reveal a vampire's game face. Xander pulled out a stake, to which the vampire kicked out of his hand with a spinning karate kick.
"Ha! What were you gonna do with that? Stake me like your Slayer pal Buffy?" The vampire drove a right hook into Xander's stomach, forcing him to double over in pain. The vampire shoved him up against a nearby chain-link fence, grabbed his hair and began rubbing Xander's face up against the rough metal. He tried freeing himself by flailing his arms, only to accomplish little save for cutting open his right palm on the points at the fence top. The vampire pulled him away from the fence, kicked Xander in the back of the knee, forcing him to kneel. The vampire pushed Xander's head into the crook of his left elbow, chocking the boy in a headlock with the strength of an iron vise. Xander began chocking for breath, his face turning red and then blue.
"Look at how pathetic you are Harris! You're the Slayer's friend, and where has it gotten you? About die at the hands of a vampire, that's where!You depend on her for your safety, doyou not?And look what rich dividends you've reaped! Where's your Slayer now, bitch?
Xander slowly got to his feet and managed to throw the vampire behind him over his shoulders in a feat that surprised even him. Shoving the vampire away he made a dash to wear the stake lay- only to have the vampire's boot smash on the hand just before he could grasp it. Xander screamed in pain.
"Weakling! I detest creatures like you who depend on others not just for their survival but on how to live their lives. Come on, Xander! I don't understand why you object to being killed. It's not your life your living- it's how Buffy wants you to live. What do you have to show for it? Absolutely nothing! Are you familiar with English philosopher Jeremy Bentham's concept of Utilitarianism, Xander? According to him, our actions should be judged as 'right or 'wrong' according to the one that causes the greatest amount of happiness to the greatest number of people. The way you've been living gave a sort of platonic happiness to Buffy (Well, until recently anyway) but it left none for yourself. Your life could have been much better had you been willing to stand for your own principals, Harris. While your actions may have given you personal happiness but less for Buffy, as you had been less willing to do as she told you . However, having looked over your history and personal history, I do not believe that Buffy's happiness is linked to your actions as she has someone who cares for her personally- Angel while you unfortunately have no such equilivant," The vampire taunted him before drawing his boot back and smashing Xander in the face with it.
Xander shook off the pain and stabbed at the vampire with the stake. He missed and dealt only a glancing blow that cut rather than stabbed. Black blood spurted out of the wound, covering Xander in it.
"I thought Vampires didn't bleed," said a shocked Xander.
"Then you've never fought a Plague vampire before," it answered. "But enough lectures. Feeding time." It bared its fangs. It ran toward him, intending to tackle him to the ground and where his superior strength gave him the advantage. Xander held his arms in front of him to prepare for the vampire's impact-
It never came. Xander opened his eyes and saw a cloud of dust settling on the ground before him. He remember that he'd been holding the stake point away from him. The vampire had actually rammed itself into the point.
Covered in bruises, cuts and vampire blood, Xander began trudging home. He didn't know how he'd made it. Soon after leaving he began feeling dizzy. His vision blurred, and the stars seemed to grow bright in the night sky. Fumbling with the keys, he let himself into his basement only to collapse on the floor in a delirious internal storm of icy hot pain. The last words in his mind before losing consciousness: Buffy...happiness...bullshit...