Author's Notes: Well this ran about two pages over the norm, so I hope you enjoy :)
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Chapter 5: The Holly and the Ivy
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"Your issues here stem from who it is you've fallen for, not their gender or even the fact that you might be interested in a same-gender relationship. Jakotsu you've been gay since…since…"
Suikotsu paused in his lecture trying to figure out just the exact amount of time it had been.
"Since I was born. Rumor has it I was checking out the hot doctor that delivered me," Jakotsu quipped, his sprawled body relaxing more and more as the situation became clearer.
Laughing lightly, the brown-haired man continued.
"Bankotsu, on the other hand, is going to take some gentle assurance that his feelings and choices are right before even beginning to deal with the fact he might like you. You see what I mean? We need you to sort your problems out so you can help him sort out his."
"Suikotsu- but how I am I supposed to sort out my problems? He's my best friend and now…now…"
"Now you want there to be something more," Suikotsu sat down beside him on the bed, "Jakotsu, there is nothing wrong with being best friends before starting a romantic relationship. In fact, it's one of the best ways to start out. Kikyou and I were very close friends before moving to the next level, and our relationship is stronger because of our deep friendship along with our love for one-another. Does that make sense?"
"So you're saying the fact I'm already friends with Bankotsu should make me feel better about wanting to sleep with him?"
Standing to pace as he talked, the older man tried to figure out the best way to explain it.
"Jakotsu, when you build a sturdy house- what do you need first?"
"Bricks?"
"Well, not exactly. You need a foundation- a firm, concrete foundation to sit the house on top of."
"Suikotsu, I'm not building a house…"
"But you are trying to build a relationship, and it's no different. You need a strong foundation of friendship before building up a romantic relationship on top of it. The healthiest and longest-lasting relationships all started out as good friendships. And from a psychological standpoint, for a wife to say her best friend is also her husband means that they share a very strong level of trust, devotion and love that most can never achieve."
Frowning, Jakotsu poked absently at the pile of books on the nightstand.
"So the fact we're friends now is actually going to make things better in the future?"
"Well, statistically speaking- yes."
"But how do you go from being 'just friends' to 'something more' without pissing them off and losing them as a friend?"
"That would be…the one weak spot of this strategy."
Flopping back dramatically onto the bed, Jakotsu sighed, "I am never going to figure this out… Why couldn't this have been someone who I'd already had a crush on just finally deciding they liked me back? That would make things so much easier!"
"In a sense, it is."
Looking at Suikotsu as if he was crazy and perhaps in need of his medication, Jakotsu raised an eyebrow, "How?"
"On the subconscious level, you have liked Bankotsu as more than a friend. The problem is you're just now realizing it."
"Don't remind me," The dark-haired man snapped, "So what am I supposed to do about this again? I don't know much outside of coming onto a guy forcefully…"
At the though of Jakotsu's usual methods of letting a guy know he's attracted to him being used, Suikotsu knew he'd have to plan things out very carefully or it was possible the two might end up never speaking to one another again.
"First, apologize for what happened this morning. But at the same time, let him know that you weren't joking, that you were serious in your intention of kissing him. You need to give him clues or he'll never open up to you."
"Won't that just freak him out and make everything worse?"
"Jakotsu, he's going to be 'freaked out' no matter what happens. But if he sees that you actually do have an interest in him, it'll be easier for him to come to terms with his feelings."
"So just say, 'Hey, I'm sorry for this morning. I really wasn't joking, I meant to kiss you'? Oh yah, that'll work," Sarcasm fading into a sigh, Jakotsu tapped his forehead, "I'm much better with actions than words…"
Suikotsu nodded, "You just need to reassure him that the feelings are mutual without forcing yourself on him. You think you can do that?"
"Well…I can try," He replied, trying to determine where the fine line between reassuring and forcing might lie, "Should I let him talk to you first?"
"That would probably be a good idea; I'll call you once he's left here. Then you can go over and see if you can amend things."
"Amend things. Right," Jakotsu rolled over on the bed, and slowly brought himself to a standing position, "I sure hope this works out..."
"I hope so too, Christmas Eve is in a week and I'd hate to deal with the awkward silence between our two loudest guests."
Pausing by the door, the dark-haired man's eyes widened.
"Christmas Eve is… in a week?"
"Yah, a week from today exactly. Haven't you noticed all the commercials on television for it?"
Blinking as that fact sunk in, Jakotsu ran his fingers through his bangs.
"Seven days then to get this worked out… Then I'm either getting coal or a deluxe dream boyfriend, complete with tanned skin, blue eyes and braidable hair from Santa."
Seeing that his friend's sense of humor wasn't gone yet gave Suikotsu a little more hope in the situation.
"I'll make sure when Kikyou and I take the children from the orphanage to see Santa to put in a good word for you."
"Yah, just let him know I'm saving up all my 'naughty' deeds until I get that boyfriend," Jakotsu quipped in return as he opened the front door, "Thanks again, Suikotsu. You should get a degree in this stuff, you know."
Shaking his head, the brown-haired man replied, "I'm not sure if I can get a direct major in counseling homosexuals, but I'll look into it if you think I'm qualified."
"Well, we'll see how we make it through this fiasco."
Door swinging closed, Suikotsu made his way over to the phone.
"Now to get the other side of the story…"
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Bankotsu practically jumped from his seat when the phone rang. With all that had been happening that day, his nerves were on the edge and ready to jump; and he knew if he didn't do something about it soon, he'd be jumping off a cliff with them.
He wasn't sure what nagged at him more: the fact that subconsciously he'd known all along that he felt something special for his friend or the fact that said friend was only joking about the kiss.
Either way, Bankotsu knew the whole situation was driving him crazy.
Taking a deep breath, he realized the phone was still ringing and rushed to answer it.
"Hello?"
"You okay?" The familiar voice on the other end asked, obviously concerned by the abrupt 'hello.'
"I just… have a lot on my mind."
"Well that's understandable. Look, I'm done studying for the moment and I think you'll feel a lot better once you talk this over with someone, so why don't you come on up?"
"Okay Suikotsu. I'll be up in a minute."
Returning the phone to its resting place on the receiver, Bankotsu's eyes skimmed around his apartment.
There wasn't much furniture, namely just a sofa, a few chairs and his personal effects. It had been hard to decide what stayed with Jakotsu and what went when they'd parted.
But now, he was noticing small things. The red lipstick smear on the arm of the chair- Jakotsu's doing after having a bad night trying to pickup someone at a club. The small pink and purple pom-poms that rested next to his baseball bat from high school bringing back memories of how he'd had his own personal cheerleader in the stands during the championship game.
It seemed like every item he owned had some small memory of Jakotsu attached to it; a memory that was now inseparable from the object itself.
Now, as his fingers slowly wrapped around a small gold keychain, Bankotsu knew that even his good luck charm was just as connected to Jakotsu as he himself was beginning to realize he was.
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There was a light knock on the door and Suikotsu gently sat his pile of books down on the corner of the bed.
"Coming, just a moment!"
Making his way to the front door, he opened it to let his guest in.
"Sorry I couldn't talk with you earlier, you still doing okay?"
Bankotsu nodded, "I…I talked to Renkotsu about it. It…wasn't much help."
Withholding a laugh at trying to picture Renkotsu of all people dealing Bankotsu's current predicament, Suikotsu just shook his head.
"Still confused?"
"Very…"
"Okay, well I've found some books documenting the usual process for dealing with your coming out, so we'll just take a look at those and see what we can do about it."
As they entered the bedroom, Bankotsu saw the pile of books mentioned, but it didn't seem to ease his nerves in the least bit.
Opening one of them to where he had bookmarked it, the brown-haired man took his seat in the corner chair.
"Go on, sit down," He said gesturing to his bed.
Walking over, Bankotsu sat down on the edge of it, "I don't know, Suikotsu. I don't understand anything that's going on. I mean- just because Jakotsu decided to kiss me shouldn't change anything. I'm just…just so confused…"
Thoughtfully regarding the book in his lap, Suikotsu noted the seven stages listed.
"Stage one, confusion. See, it says it's natural to be confused about this, Bankotsu. That's just normal."
"But- but what if I'm just lonely? Maybe I'm just so desperate because I'm out of high school, I've never had a girlfriend or anyone for that matter, and now I can't handle living in an apartment without my best friend. It could be just the fact I want him back- you know, as a friend. Right?"
"Stage two, denial. The person will try to reason away their confusion by making excuses," Suikotsu quoted the book, earning himself a glare.
"Suikotsu, I'm not making any damned excuses! Stop reading that stupid book," Bankotsu absently threw a pillow across the room in an attempt to vent his frustration.
"Stage three, misplaced anger."
Sinking down into the remaining pillows, the black-haired young man took a deep breath.
"I just… what if…I have liked him all this time? I've never been that interested in girls and I always did get kinda jealous when Jakotsu talked about other guys…"
"Stage four, reluctant admittance" Suikotsu's eyes skimmed the page, keeping it to a whisper as he could tell Bankotsu was starting to ramble.
"And now… now it's just," He paused, draping his arm across his face as he laid back, "I wanted him to kiss me."
"Stage five, longing for physical relations with another man."
Too caught up in his own thoughts to listen, Bankotsu didn't even hear Suikotsu quietly checking off the stages.
"But if I told Jakotsu I liked him… then he'd probably want to…to…" Blue eyes widened as the full impact of what could happen dawned on him.
Standing up abruptly, Bankotsu barely managed to say the words.
"Me…him…we'd…."
His mind thought back to that morning when Jakotsu had answered the door clad in nothing more than a towel about his waist. Face flushing bright red at his own momentary perverse thought, the flood gates in his mind opened up and all the answers began to fill his head. And with that image stuck in his head along with the other racing thoughts, Bankotsu could feel the dizzying effects of everything finally taking their toll on his mind.
The light-headed blur his head had become slowly faded into black as his body collapsed to the ground.
Still engrossed in the book, Suikotsu checked off another stage, "Stage six- Longing for sexual relations with another man. Bankotsu, it looks like…."
He paused on not seeing his friend sitting on the bed or standing beside it anymore.
"Bankotsu?"
Weakly, a small voice murmured from the floor.
"Suikotsu…I think, I'm gay."
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Jakotsu paced around his living room, every second glancing towards his phone and wondering if it was still working properly.
When it finally rang, he practically pounced on it.
"Hello?"
"Were you sitting on the phone?" Suikotsu questioned, not that surprised by the quick answer.
"Maybe… So?"
"Bankotsu's back in his apartment now. We had a long talk and I loaned him a few books to look over. It's up to you now."
"Thanks, so if he comes out straight- that's my fault then, right?"
"Just be easy with him, Jakotsu. This is going to be hard for both of you to adjust, so don't go rushing into anything."
"All right, all right. Gotcha. No trying to chain him down and have wild sex with him right away, check."
"Jakotsu…" Suikotsu warned, knowing that joking or not, Jakotsu might actually try it.
"I'm just kidding. I'll go easy on him as long as he's still nervous. I'll call you once I'm done talking with him."
"Okay. Good luck."
"Thanks."
Hanging up the phone, Jakotsu took a deep breath before heading towards the other apartment.
"Well… here goes nothing."
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Bankotsu looked at the books Suikotsu had loaned him and ran his fingers through his bangs.
"I guess…I should start reading some of this…"
He picked one up and flipped it open to where it had been bookmarked, but before he could read even the first sentence, a hasty knock sounded on the door.
Quickly shoving the books into a drawer and trying to act as natural as possible, Bankotsu walked over to the door and opened it.
"Ja…Jakotsu?"
The name caught in his throat as he tried to say it, and he knew he had to be blushing.
Trying to ease him into things, Jakotsu gave a weak smile and stuck his hands in his pockets.
"Um hey, I… just came to apologize about earlier. I didn't mean to upset you."
Blue eyes dimmed a little as Bankotsu realized what he was apologizing for.
"It's just mistletoe. I… shouldn't have thought anything of it," He hung his head, bitterness seeping into his tone.
"No…I mean…you…." Jakotsu frowned not able to find the right words.
"Well Suikotsu did say to 'reassure' him I wasn't joking…"
Pushing the door further open, he made his way into the apartment.
"Jakotsu, what are you…."
The door closed behind the taller man, and he continued to move forward until he'd backed Bankotsu against a wall.
"I need to tell you something," He said in a hushed whisper, his arm resting above Bankotsu's head on the wall.
"O…okay?" He bit his lip, berating himself inwardly for letting himself get into this situation.
Without a word more, Jakotsu leaned down and captured Bankotsu's lips with his own. He could feel the slight moment of tense shock, but then- much like before, it melted away into acceptance of the gesture.
And that acceptance was all Jakotsu needed before his lustfulness got the best of him.
Pressing himself fully against Bankotsu, he deepened the kiss; their tongues now entangled in a passionate dance. He wanted more; no- needed it, before this momentary bliss faded back to reality.
Impulsively, he slid his hands up under the long-sleeved shirt Bankotsu wore; fingers slowly caressing the tanned skin he'd come to know so well. Jakotsu felt him tense for moment as he ghosted a finger across his chest; then with a smirk, he daringly began to undo the clasp to his jeans.
At that, Bankotsu's mind finally got through to him and he pushed Jakotsu away. Eyes wide, mind and heart racing, the young man had panic etched across his face.
"Get out…"
The foreign words seemed to force themselves from his mouth, and he instantly regretted ever saying them.
Jakotsu's face had gone from shock and confusion to a look Bankotsu knew all too well.
It was the same look his friend had when he'd gotten rejected by a boy at school or turned down by someone at a club; a look that could be summed up simply as- heartbroken.
Backing away, Jakotsu tried to choke back the torn emotions demanding to surface.
Strangled amidst a sob, he said what he'd come to say, "I meant that, Bankotsu. The kiss- everything. I meant it."
But before he could shake off his own shock and reply, Jakotsu had turned and fled the room, door slamming behind him as he left.
Slinking down against the wall, Bankotsu buried his face in his hands.
"He was crying…" He muttered to himself, his own tears now beginning to run down his face. "I made him…." Choking back another sob, he found himself easily admitting everything, "Why? I… I love him."
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Preview for Chapter 6:
Jakotsu has only seven days before Christmas to get things between him and Bankotsu worked out. It might take a miracle, but he's hell-bent and determined to try anyways.