Author's Note: Okay, getting another chapter out. And once again going two pages over my usual chapter-length. Enjoy all!
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Chapter 6: Bringing Gifts We Traverse Afar
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A string of curses was all Jakotsu could manage as he stormed into his room.
"What the hell was I thinking?" His mind rampaged as he flopped down on his bed.
Bankotsu's two bitter words bore into his mind, making the situation seem all the more hopeless.
"I really shouldn't be mad at him but…damn, did he have to react like that?!"
The phone rang, and part of Jakotsu's mind heavily suggested ignoring it. Then, on figuring it might be Suikotsu, he reached over and groped around for the receiver.
"Um…Jakotsu?"
He froze at the sound of the small, timid voice on the other end; his mind offering no help as he found himself at a loss for words.
"Jakotsu? Are you there?"
"…Yah, I'm here," He rasped out, biting back any form of emotion.
"About what just happened, I think I should tell you that… that..." Bankotsu paused, trying to figure out how to break it to him.
"You were confused. Didn't mean to kiss back, etcetera, etcetera. I got the picture," Jakotsu muttered bitterly.
"It's not like that!" Bankotsu protested, his voice hitching a notch.
"Then what? I can't really see the words 'Get. Out' being used in any friendly manner."
"I got scared, okay? I'm not…not gay like that."
Jakotsu sat up abruptly; eyes brimming with tears he didn't even notice were forming.
"Well I'm sorry, I am gay."
And angered to his breaking point, he slammed down the phone.
Rolling over, he buried his face in the pillows blatantly ignoring the phone beginning to ring again.
But he could hear the insistent voice as the answering machine picked up.
"Jakotsu? Jakotsu? Damnit Jakotsu- pick up the phone."
Even underneath the pillows, Jakotsu could here the sound of Bankotsu's fist slamming into the wall over the hollow echoes of the machine. At that he almost brought himself to answer it, but he found he was frozen in place- by his anger, his resentment, by a whole slew of emotions.
"Jakotsu, you misunderstood," Bankotsu began, his voice shaky but somewhat composed; an edge of determination pushing back any tears or anger, "I'm just not ready for that kind of thing. But, I am…" He paused, the three letter word seeming foreign to his tongue when describing himself. "Jakotsu- shit, can't you even pick up the phone for this?"
He sighed on still getting no response, "Okay, it might be awkward to say this to an answering machine, but right now, I don't have any other choice. Jakotsu, I…."
The line went silent for a moment before Jakotsu could hear the quiet whisper.
"Jakotsu, I like you. You know, not just as a friend but…as something else."
Dark eyes widened as the words came through. Making a quick scramble for the phone, Jakotsu snagged it up, wanting desperately to apologize for his hasty anger. But it was too late, his attempt being met only with the hum of the dial tone.
Hitting the rewind button on the tape, he replayed those last few words to make sure he'd heard them correctly.
Sure, Suikotsu had implied as much. Even kissing him earlier had implied the same. But hearing it in Bankotsu's own words, impacted Jakotsu to the core.
"He actually… likes me…"
Feeling slightly overwhelmed by the whole situation, he laid back down on his bed.
"I'm… not sure what to do now." He looked to the clock, then sighed, "Suikotsu's already left for the orphanage for the evening, and Bankotsu… I'm not sure I can face him right now until I have a better plan than just apologizing again."
Eyes catching sight of the nearby calendar, Jakotsu noticed the bright red numbers of the twenty-fifth standing out on the page.
"I guess getting out of the house would probably be the best. I think I'm more prepared to deal with last-minute Christmas shoppers than my own problems at the moment…"
After grabbing up a few things and straightening his hair and makeup, Jakotsu made his way out.
He paused momentarily in the hallway, his eyes focusing on the door across the hall.
Deep down, he desperately wanted to go and talk to Bankotsu. But right now, he didn't have the slightest idea what to say or do.
"I'll just have to wait and ask Suikotsu in the morning …and perhaps get something special for Bankotsu while I'm out."
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The phone didn't ring, and it hadn't all evening.
Bankotsu kept trying to focus on reading over the books Suikotsu had given him, but his mind was too preoccupied with other things.
Namely, the message he'd left on Jakotsu's answering machine.
"I told him I liked him, so why hasn't he called back or come over?"
The books seemed to keep procuring the same answer, but it wasn't making sense.
"They say on admitting feelings, the other party might be momentarily shocked and seek to withdraw themselves from the situation," He noted to himself as he skimmed the page, "But Jakotsu's always been gay. Why would it shock him?"
The answer to his own question came easily, and he cast a guilty look towards the door.
"I guess, after we've known each other for so long. For me to just out of nowhere admit that, especially after telling him to leave, I guess even Jakotsu would be a bit shocked by that…"
Standing, Bankotsu stretched; his body stiff from being seated in the same place for so long. Looking to the clock, he figured after the crazy day he'd had, calling it an early night might not be such a bad idea.
Just about to retreat towards the confines of his room, the softest of knocks could be heard from the front door.
"Is it…"
His heart picked up it's pace as he slowly made his way towards the door, not sure if he could face Jakotsu right that moment.
But instead of seeing his friend on the other side, he could only see the door across the hall slowly closing as the tall figure retreated inside his apartment.
"I guess he couldn't bring himself to…"
Bankotsu's thoughts cut-off short as his eyes noticed the small item sitting down on the floor.
He lifted it gently, not sure if he was imagining it or not. But on feeling the plush texture of it in his hands, he knew it had to be real.
"A gift? For…me?"
Nestled in the arms of the small, plush teddy bear was a card. Taking a deep breath and hoping for the best, Bankotsu brought himself to open it.
Bankotsu-
I'm sorry about everything.
I like you back.
A lot.
I'll talk to you tomorrow- if you want to.
- Jakotsu
Tucking the bear under his arm, he headed towards his bedroom; a yawn letting him know it was clearly time to sleep. As he laid down, he found himself caress the soft black fur of the bear's head.
"Thank you, Jakotsu. This isn't easy for me either…"
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Jakotsu rolled in his sleep; pillow clutched tightly in his arms as if it was another entity entirely. And to the black-haired man's dreamlike-state, it was.
"Mmm...Bankotsu...I..."
Any other subconscious admissions were cut short as the blaring sound of the alarm clock announced morning and Jakotsu bolted up in bed.
Reaching over and silencing the loud alarm, the dark-haired man took a deep breath, his fingers running up through his loose hair.
"Okay that's...." A brief fragment of his dream lingered and he tried to shake it from his mind, "That's just... a little too much. I gotta talk to Suikotsu about this."
He untangled himself from the sheets, thoughts racing as he made his way towards the door.
"Thinking about him is one thing. Kissing him, is a bit more. And it's not like I thought past a little groping when I went for his pants yesterday…"
Pausing by the doorway, he could feel the way his heart raced and it only further worried him.
"I'm going to have to get used to this and well, get Bankotsu to go along with it. It's not like I haven't had erotic dreams about men in the past, they've just never been about my best friend."
Hand shakily clasping the doorknob, a tiny voice in his head noted that perhaps rushing to Suikotsu's could wait a few minutes.
With a frown, Jakotsu realized that he was about to go upstairs clad in nothing more than his boxers and thought better of it.
"Okay, first I'll get dressed. Then I'll go ask Suikotsu what I'm supposed to do to fix things between me and Bankotsu and perhaps..."
Vivid images once again taking up a place in his mind, Jakotsu made a change of plans once more.
"First, I take a cold shower. Then I'll go get dressed and deal with this..."
And as he slowly wandered towards the bathroom, he couldn't help but inwardly laugh at his predicament.
"Leave it to me to get into a situation where I'm wanting a cold shower in the middle of winter...."
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Suikotsu wasn't surprised in the least bit to find Jakotsu knocking on his door early the next morning. After not getting the promised call the night before regarding the outcome of the apology, the brown-haired man had had a sinking feeling that not everything had gone as planned.
After ushering Jakotsu in, the two seated themselves in the living room as Suikotsu waited for the story.
"So…. I'm still in the dark as to what happened last night. Care to fill me in?"
"Suikotsu, hypothetically speaking, let's say I…sorta got carried away and now Bankotsu might be- well, really mad at me."
"What did you do?"
"I kinda…sorta…went for the zipper to his…"
"Jakotsu!" Suikotsu reprimanded, half expecting it to happen and half irritated that it had.
"I know, tell it to my hormones. They're the ones to blame!"
Rubbing at his temples, Suikotsu sighed.
"Is that all that happened, or did something else go wrong?"
Taking a deep breath, Jakotsu began to recount the events of the night before. Once he was finished, he looked to Suikotsu's for some sort of advice as to what was to be done.
"And so I figure he's probably still mad at me or hates me or something," Jakotsu muttered, burying his face in his hands.
"Well you scared him. He's just getting used to even thinking about liking you romantically and you're trying to, pardon the bluntness, get down his pants. If you could have just kept your hands to yourself."
"I know, I know. I told you, I couldn't help it. After finally having a kiss to someone returned so…so… sweetly," He paused, settling on that word and finding himself a bit shocked at describing it as such, "I just had to…"
"Jakotsu," Suikotsu spoke up, placing a gentle hand on the other man's shoulder, "Try to put yourself in his position."
The dark-haired man blinked, seeming perplexed as he tried to imagine it. On seeing his confusion, Suikotsu explained.
"Let's say you have a best friend, a female roommate, and all of a sudden she came onto you."
Jakotsu wrinkled his nose at the thought.
"But that's not all," Suikotsu continued, "In her kissing you, you realized that you might like her as more than a friend- even though, you don't like women like that. Then she tries to go further and…"
"I get the idea. No more thinking about me with a female. I'm gonna be sick," Jakotsu muttered as he stood.
"All I'm saying is- Bankotsu is only reacting negatively because this is something very new to him."
"Well…I guess. He did leave that message."
"Message?" Suikotsu sat up, wondering what parts of the story had been omitted in Jakotsu's haste to tell it.
"After I left, he called and I got upset and kinda…hung up on him because I thought he was telling me 'Sorry, I'm not gay.' But he wasn't."
"Go on…"
"I guess, it's like what you've been saying. He wasn't ready to move that fast. I mean, I'm even wondering what the hell I was thinking. I just sorta- reacted, and it wasn't until afterwards that it sank in who I was doing that with. It's just….just…"
"Jarring?"
Jakotsu nodded, "That and I just feel like an idiot for not seeing that he might like me before now. Here I've been wasting my life hitting on straight guys or ones just interested in a one-night fling with no romantic feelings whatsoever. But deep down…" He trailed off as he thought it over, "Deep down I just want someone to love me the way I love them."
"There's nothing wrong with that."
Looking up to Suikotsu, the black-haired man gave a wry smile.
"Except the fact it sounds like it came out of a bad romance novel."
"Jakotsu, it's just, human nature to want to be accepted and loved. Everyone feels that way."
"Just not about me…"
Seeing that the whole situation was just bogging his friend down further, Suikotsu realized that oath of silence or not, he needed to say something.
"I'm really not to be spilling secrets, especially when someone called me in confidence and asked me not to tell but… let's just say someone happened to let me in on the fact you left them a very nice present last night."
Dark eyes lit up as Jakotsu stared in shock at the other man.
"The teddy bear. I left it with that note."
"You left an impressionable gift. He was very touched by it."
Standing as if part of himself wanted to rush right down to Bankotsu's apartment, Jakotsu paused a moment to look back at Suikotsu.
"He…he said that?"
The older man nodded, "But you didn't hear it from me, okay?"
Jakotsu let out the breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding, "Thank you. He hadn't called and I couldn't bring myself to call him so…"
"It's an awkward situation, I understand. But you do need to get back on good terms if you want this relationship to work out."
Plopping down in the nearest chair, Jakotsu tapped his forehead in hopes it would inspire some ideas.
"Okay, and how am I supposed to do that? I'm…kinda drawing blanks at the moment."
"How about some very special gifts," Suikotsu began, "The kind only you could give him right now."
Not yet seeing where he was going with this, Jakotsu leaned forward, "Which would be…what?"
"Give him friendship, understanding- use your actions and words to show him that you can take things slow and you do care about him. Perhaps even try and give him a gift each day before Christmas."
"Seven days, seven gifts….I could ask all the guys for ideas," Jakotsu murmured, catching onto the idea.
"And if you play the cards right, you get a boyfriend for Christmas," Suikotsu finished, sealing the deal.
"But what if I want what's behind door number one?" He bluffed in return, smile returning full force, "Nah, I'll take the hot sexy boyfriend. Especially since this one's coming with pre-programmed knowledge of how to deal with me."
"Just don't get carried away this time, okay?"
Jumping up and heading for the door, Jakotsu paused and smirked, "Okay, but if he gives me the go ahead- then it's his fault not mine!"
The door swung open then back closed as the dark-haired man made his way out. Suikotsu just shook his head and walked over to the telephone. Picking it up, he dialed its most common number.
"Hello?" The female voice answered.
"Kikyou, we might be dealing with a bit of a new twist on the big group get-together this year."
"And that would be?"
"Well, you know how I mentioned to you once that I thought Jakotsu and Bankotsu might have something going for one another…Well, that something finally surfaced."
The line went quiet, before the young woman replied.
"So we'll need a large, open space that doesn't have any dark hiding places. No alcohol or sensuous music. And I'll make sure to omit the whipped cream from my pie recipes."
Suikotsu laughed at the woman's stoic tone, "Thanks sweetheart, I knew you'd know just what to do about it."
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Chapter 7 Preview:
Seven days, seven gifts… When you give from the heart, your true feelings will show through.