OK this is the absolute true story of Harry Potter's adventures. Let's start from the beginning.
"are you ready James?"
"whenever you are Lily."
NOT THAT FAR BACK, PERVERTS! LET'S GO TO WHEN AFTER HARRY WAS BORN! NOT WHEN IT HAPPENED!
Sorry 'bout that.
Anyway this is back at Number 4 Privet Drive.
"why are you here tonight Proffeser McGonagall?" asked Albus Dumbledore.
"you know i cant trust you with a little boy Albus, remember the last one?"
"ahh he was fiesty"
"SHUTUP ABOUT IT!"
"anyway where is the boy Dumbledore?"
" He is with Hagrid, he is bringing Harry here."
"Are you sure it's wise to trust Hagrid not to DO anything to the boy?"
"ahh my dear proffeser, i would trust Hagrid with my life."
VROOM VROOM CRASH!
"what the fuck!" exclaimed Proffeser McGonagal.
"ah that would be Hagrid now." Said Albus
"Why does he have to live here? Anywhere but here Albus i've watched them all day long and let me tell you it is not a wonderful sight seeing a fat man and a bony woman in a bed." "HAGRID QUIT LICKING THE STRAIT!"
"sorry i just wanted one last lick...he has a lollipop you know."
"ok never mind what i said then." said Proffeser McGonagall sheepishly.
Sorry but that is the end of the first chapter. I will update soon. If it was'nt that funny i am sorry i am new at this.